Picture - A cute little angel is pictured holding a christmas star and a doll.

First reaction: Oh, what a sweet little girl. Isn't she cute with her little pig tails and her dolly?
And her wings?

Wings?

And she's on a little cloud.

Oh dear.

It hits: Oh my God, this little girl is dead!

I know this is the theme of this whole section, but here I must reiterate: Who, in their right mind, would send out Christmas cars with a picture of a little dead girl!?! http://www.capnwacky.com/holiday/cards5.html

Picture - Several half grown kittens on the stairs, with a holly spray on the corner of the card.

Honey, I'm having a great time here at your mother's for Christmas, and I don't mean to bother, but you did leave food and water out for the kitties, right?

Hmmm? Oh, sure. Uh, sure.

Oh good. I'd hate to think of them walking around the house, slowly starving to death and mewing mournfully as they wonder why we've left them to die. http://www.capnwacky.com/holiday/cards16.html

Hello, I'm Batman. When I was just a child, my parents were murdered right in front of my eyes.
I made a solemn vow that day to commit my life to fighting crime. I've sacrificed my childhood and any efforts toward personal enjoyment.
My nights are spent in deadly combat with everything from common street thugs to grotesque psychopaths.
What little sleep I ever get is usually interupted by horrible nightmares and my waking up soaked in sweat.
I fight a war that can never be won.
I strive toward a goal that can never be reached.
I am haunted. I am relentless. I am tortured.
Won't you be my valentine?