Favorite sci/fi Quotes!
Oh boy, which of you geezers opened this massive can of worms? I want you to realise that I am a person with 24 hours of Red Dwarf tapes and a lot of time on her hands…
Rimmer: Lister, have you ever been hit over the head with a welding mallet?
Cat: I like my food to move
Lister: I’m a pantheist, not a smeggin’ frying pantheist
Kryten: No silicon heaven? Then where do all the calculators go?
Polymorph/Rimmer’s mum: The things this boy can do with Alphabetti Spaghetti!
Rimmer: IT’S A SMEGGING GARBAGE POD!
Cat: Hey Monkey, you’re sick. Sick, helpless and unconscious. If you weren’t my friend I’d steal your shoes.
Rimmer: Do you know what they say Canaries stands for? Convict’s Army Nearly All Retarded In-bred Evil Sheep-Shaggers.
Rimmer: Why don’t you smegging well smeg off, you annoying little smeggy, smegging smegger!
Cat: This has been a good day. I’ve eaten five times, I’ve slept six times and I’ve made a lot of things mine. Tomorrow, I’m gonna see if I can’t have sex with something!
Rimmer: I’m going places. Up up up the ziggeraut, lickety-split
Rimmer: I think we’re all beginning to lose sight of the real issue here, which is what are we going to call ourselves? I think it comes down to a choice between The League Against Salivating Monsters, or my personal favourite, the Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms, and their Rehabilitation into Society. Just one drawback – the abbreviation is CLITORIS.
Cat: I’m looking for a dream I had last month.
Rimmer: What about?
Cat: Me, three girls and a family-size tub of banana yoghurt.
Kochanski: Do you know what you’re doing?
Lister: Hey…
(Kryten’s head explodes)
Kochanski: I thought you said you knew what you were doing.
Lister: No, I said ‘Hey’. If you’d let me finish the sentence I would have said ‘Hey, no I don’t.’
Lister’s Confidence: Oxygen’s for losers.
Lister: I’m my own father. And Kris is my ex-girlfriend and my mum!
Cat: Bud, you should send this in to Playboy. I’ll bet you any money it’d get published.
Birdman: Pete ate me. He ate me. He must be really out of sorts, he’s never eaten me before.
Lister: I’ve been tongue-hockeyed to death!
Psiren: How long has it been since you’ve made love to a woman?
Lister: I’ll admit it’s been a while.
Psiren: It’s been three million years.
Lister: I prefer to count in ice ages – then it’s only four. In leap ice ages it’s hardly even one.
Rimmer: Lister, is that a cigarette you’re smoking?
Lister: No it’s a chicken
Cat: I’m looking so good today. If I looked any better I’d be illegal.
Holly: The highest form of life is man, and the lowest form of life is a man who has a train set.
Hollister: That’s classified information Karen. Who told you?
Dr Newton: The coffee machine on C deck
Hollister: That coffee machine. I’ll bust its ass down to tampon dispenser.
Cat: I suggest we go all the way to brown alert.
Kryten: There’s no such thing as brown alert.
Cat: You won’t be saying that in a minute. And don’t say I didn’t alert you.
Kochanski: Uh, guys, all the hazard approach lights are on. Although on this ship that can mean anything from we’re under attack to the baked potatoes are burning.
Rimmer: Come on Lister, you’ve dated worse.
Lister: Only due to very poor disco lighting.
Cat: It’s a Cat word. It’s the sound you make when you get your sexual organs trapped in something. Jozxyqk!
Lister: Is it in the dictionary?
Cat: It could be. If you’re reading in the nude and you close the book too fast. Jozxyqk!!
Kochanski: Now I’ve got to deal with a neurotic droid who’s obsessed with my pants drawer.
Kryten: You mean I’m not alone?! Oh, you meant me.
Rimmer: This presented a most enormous moral dilemma. Technically, she would be my sister, and therefore unable to take me as her lover. Finally, after much soul-searching, I reluctantly decided: what the Hell. I just wouldn’t tell her.
Lister: Let’s get out there and twat it!
I hope you’re satisfied…
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