NEW! Lexx this week!
Hypatia leaned back and sighed. She wondered why Squishy rejected the offer, but there was no time to wonder, as Lexx would start in 3 HOURS WHOOOO! [sorry, carried away -Ed]. As she sat down, her aide entered carrying…a BAG OF PRETZELS! ‘A Present’ read the card. Hypatia’s eyes widened, what could it mean? Was it an allusion to her predessesor’s inability to eat the snack while watching TV? Was it a plot to make her faint while watching Lexx? She already had enough problems on that account, what with MM and Seeberg being the stars. Speaking of her predessesor…
An evil plot hatched in Hypatia’s mind. She would send G.W Bush, no stranger to the art of booze, to England as a good-will ambassador. Yes, if the English learned how good beer was when it was COLD, they would be eternally gratefull and Squishy’s home front would be on her side.
W Bush, needing no excuse to get hammered, was happy to implement her plan. Needless to say, although sceptical at first, the English loved the innovation, and Hypatia was invited to Buckingham Palace to sign a treaty of friendship between the two countries.
Hypatia had little trouble with Senate approval, after bailing out Enron Hypatia had formed a broad bipartisan coalition, and the treaty was ratified.
Meanwhile, fundamentalists raged against the treaty, citing low church attendance in European cities. Smooth as ever, Hypatia offered their leader, Pat Robertson, a spot editing ‘Pink Triangle’, the nation’s largest gay newspaper. Pat R was so suprised that he snapped, and became convinced that he was a glass of orange juice. With this, the fundies lost any mainstream support they had had, and were relegated to a small group of fanatics who occasionally popped up to burn copies of ‘Harry Potter and the Nutcase of Virginia Beach’.
Hypatia used the oppertunity to push a campaign finance bill through Congress, and to make them ratify the Kyoto treaty.
[ 26-01-2002: Message edited by: Hypatia ]