Sci – Fi Mom’s List Diss’es Jane Jetson!

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Many Thanks to Joe Crowe @ RevolutionSF.com for allowing this post. Much Mother’s day fun.

The Ten Best Sci-Fi Moms – Joe Crowe – May 09, 2005

The science fictiony genres have shown many bad mothers, but very few of them have shown actual mothers, as in givers of life.
Consider this a cheesy card to all those science-fictional moms, who have given so much to so many genre characters, only to usually get blown to smithereens for it. (Note: This feature not for use with your actual mother.)

10. SHMI SKYWALKER
Mother of Anakin “Little Darthie” Skywalker
Such a good mother that she didn’t run through the Tatooine desert freaking out when midichlorians spontaneously knocked her up. She gave birth to the most evil dude the Star Wars galaxy would ever know, and didn’t EVEN get her freak on.

Then she married some old coot and got wasted by Tusken Raiders. Meanwhile, poor Ani was too busy learning about his lightsaber and fawning over Amidala to even send her a card.

9. JANE JETSON
Mother of Elroy and Judy Jetson
Took the wallet of working-stiff husband George, and surely used it wisely. Remained a busy, concerned parent even with future housework done by machines and a sassy robo-maid. Sure, when George walked the dog she didn’t stop that crazy thing. Please! She had buttons to push.

8. MAMA HORTA
Mother of little Hortas
We all know that whacking innocent people is a lot of fun, but this nice lady had a very compelling reason. They messed with her kids. So here comes the Enterprise, ready to photon her face off, until they found out she didn’t have one.
She talked it over with Spock. He summed up all of motherhood with one simple word: “Pain . . . PAIN. . . .”
In the end, it turns out all she needed was a little spackle. She doesn’t ask for much. Sweet, is what that is.

7. ALIEN QUEEN
Mother of lots of little aliens
Everyone says Ripley was the star of Aliens, but no one ever talks about the woman who thinks only of caring for her babies. And helps them slaughter humans. And this mom kept her cool; you didn’t see HER calling RIPLEY a bitch.
Some of her kids are even named “facehuggers.” Isn’t that cute?

6. HAWKGIRL
Mother of Dr. Fate
Death — lots of it — hasn’t stopped this mom.
The female superhero from the 1940s was married to Hawkman. They were reincarnated Egyptians, fated to be together throughout time. They had a son, Hector, who was born without a soul. Hector grew up to be a superhero himself, but some evil dude got a hold of him, and Hector ended up dead. Then a big crisis messed up pretty much everything, and Hawkgirl and Hawkman were killed. More or less.

Then they were rewritten — pardon me, reborn — again. Only this time, Hawkgirl was reborn into the body of her own niece, who doesn’t remember being anyone’s fated love interest. Then Hector got reborn, as the latest rewrite — excuse me, rebirth — of Dr. Fate.

But instead of a big family reunion with fried chicken and sweet potatoes, she has a husband — kind of — who keeps wanting to smooch on her, and a son who’s older than she is. Yet she still finds time to fly around and beat up evildoers.

5. AUNT MAY
Aunt of Spider-Man
Aunt May isn’t Spidey’s biological mother, but so what? She gave him enough worry, angst, guilt, grief, fear, and incontinence for 25 moms, all dedicated to teaching the boy about great power and great responsibility.

She dated Doctor Octopus. She almost died about 7,800 times. But she was always looking out for Peter Parker: She got him the hook-up with Mary Jane. That’s worth a lifetime of dinner-plate washing right there.

4. DR. CAROL MARCUS
Mother of David Marcus, Son of Kirk
Marcus’ relationship with Captain James T. Kirk isn’t all that strange. He achieved access to the procreative areas of many, many, many females. And probably a few other things that he wasn’t aware of.

But Carol was the only one to spawn a Son of Kirk. Sure, David Marcus ended up on the wrong end of a bat’leth, but those are the breaks.

Carol got no respect from the boy, but she bossed around Kirk like no one before or since. The Genesis planet wasn’t the first time she ever told him “Let me show you something that will make you feel young as when the world was new.”

3. LARA
Mother of Superman
The wife of Jor-El, and the mother of the best superhero ever, stood by her man. Sure, Jor-El talked all about destiny for the boy, but the fact of the matter was the little guy was still pooping on himself. Lara even let Jor-El send her baby away in a rocket ship, when every instinct was telling her to jump in that thing with him.
We have to respect how difficult it must have been to be the wife of a famous scientist and the mom of a precocious little boy. Sometimes she probably felt like her whole world was crumbling around her.

2. INVISIBLE WOMAN
Mother of Franklin and Valeria Richards
Comic books’ original and best Hot Mom. It’s not easy juggling a husband who calls himself “Mr. Fantastic,” a career whipping up force fields, and soccer practice.
No other superhero woman has ever had kids that
a) Don’t die.
b) Don’t get bumped out of continuity.
c) Don’t age super-fast and turn evil.
Sure, at various times her kids have done all of those things, but at the end of the day they still end up with warm cocoa at bedtime. Because Sue has them on a schedule, and that is SO IMPORTANT, people!

1. DR. CRUSHER
Mother of Wesley Crusher
She’s a doctor onboard a starship Enterprise and she didn’t once complain about not being a bricklayer. And she tried her best to work her womanly ways with her old buddy Captain Picard, whose furrowed brow and constant temper tantrums had to have been due to worrying that he was Wesley Crusher’s actual father.
She rose heroically to the thankless, Sisyphean task of bringing up Wesley.

His gigantic sweaters couldn’t have been her idea. They just couldn’t.

However, I must take exception to his placing Jane Jetson a paltry ninth in his list of actual mothers. Jane deserved a much higher standing. Her contributions to Sci-fi mother hood cannot be so easily dismissed!

What about her fashion sense? Jane was not only totally modern but showed that you can be a mom and hot at the same time.

Her parenting skills? She effortless guided young Elroy and Daughter Judy through life’s little lessons. I mean really, Judy was wearing midriffs long before Brittany, but did we see her acting trashy? I think not.

I could go on, but you get the idea.

Jane Jetson got Diss’ed!

The above article was originally posted with much other fun stuff at

http://www.revolutionsf.com/article.html?id=2653

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