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The Lexxian’s Guide to Fitting in in Normal Society
These are important things to remember if you don’t want people to think you’re weird.-Don’t mention Lexx in normal conversation.
-If you ever do bring up Lexx in conversation, be sure to mention that you also watch Star Trek, The X-Files, or other “normal” sci-fi.
-Try to find ways to separate Lexx and real life in your mind.
-If anyone asks what you mean by “Vaiyo a oh home vaah ray,” tell them you’re learning Latin.
-Rolling like a Cluster lizard is not safe, easy, or socially acceptable.
-No one besides you knows (or cares) who the king (thing-a-ling) is tonight.
-The chances of a given girl you meet being a carnivorous plant are actually so remote that you can really put the idea out of your mind.
-“Such sweet shapes” is not a good pick-up line.
-Never sing the song from Garden in public (note: especially true if male).
-Never attempt the Kai hairstyle.
This last one is the most important. Some of these things I have said may not help you. Some of these things I have said may not apply to you. But, whatever you make of this list, it is important that you remember that, no matter how cool you think it looks on Kai, no matter how popular it is among the Brunnen-G, you must never, under any circumstances, attempt the Kai hairstyle. Never. It is not in style, it has never been in style, it will never be in style. If you ever want to be regarded as a normal human being, you must not try the Kai look. That is all.
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-Never attempt the Kai hairstyle.
Unless you’re trying to pick up Droolers.
Very helpfull, DT. Unfortunatly, people already think I’m wierd. (Note to self: Do not mention in philosophy classes that you’ve already read J.S Mill)
Today I just got my new Xev poster framed. When I picked it up at the frame shop, they asked me who she was. I explained that she’s one of the stars of a show called Lexx that comes on the SciFi Channel. She said that she’ll look for it next time it comes on. I felt embarrased! I made sure to warn her more than once that it is a show for adults and not for kids, that the show is not for everyone. I said, “Kind of like Rocky Horror”, pointing to the Rocky Horror Picture Show poster that was behind her. She said that she’d take a look anyway.
Great. I bet the first episode of Lexx that she ever watches will be Bad Carrot!
DT, I know you and I haven’t see eye to eye in the past, but I gotta say, that your post was bleedin hilarious ol’ chap.
Do you know all that from experience!?!, anyway it was really funny, and it tickled my funny bone!!!
Squishy
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Originally posted by DalekTek790:
-Never attempt the Kai hairstyle.
This last one is the most important. Some of these things I have said may not help you. Some of these things I have said may not apply to you. But, whatever you make of this list, it is important that you remember that, no matter how cool you think it looks on Kai, no matter how popular it is among the Brunnen-G, you must never, under any circumstances, attempt the Kai hairstyle. Never. It is not in style, it has never been in style, it will never be in style. If you ever want to be regarded as a normal human being, you must not try the Kai look. That is all.
you are obviously not hanging around the right women
how about this; your partner’s wife keeps telling every professional colleague you are introduced to, and that you are hoping to make a nice impression on, that you moderate a website, and it’s about a science fiction show called lexx…and the only person who has ever heard of lexx blurts out ‘i tried to watch that, it is too sick for me’
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Originally posted by DalekTek790:
Some of these things I have said may not help you. Some of these things I have said may not apply to you. But, whatever you make of this list, it is important that you remember that…
Going for a little Boz Lehrman “Everybody’s Free” there?
I loved the list.
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Originally posted by Headgehog:
Going for a little Boz Lehrman “Everybody’s Free” there?
Who? What? Huh?
Actually, my roommate was listening to Chris Rock’s “No Sex in the Champagne Room” and I sort of let some of the speech get into my writing.
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Originally posted by DalekTek790:
Who? What? Huh?
Actually, my roommate was listening to Chris Rock’s “No Sex in the Champagne Room” and I sort of let some of the speech get into my writing.
Chris Rock’s “No Sex in the Champagne Room” is a parody of Baz Luhrmann’s track “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen),” which is, in turn, based on an alleged speech allegedly given to an alleged graduating class by author Kurt Vonnegut. He never delivered it, it was actually an editorial from some paper, but, like an urban legend, it circulated the net and was attributed to Vonnegut. Much like the bogus “Bad American” piece that was allegedly written by comic George Carlin. He never wrote it, he disagrees with a lot of stuff in it, and he’s pretty mad about the whole thing.
–Aleck
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Originally posted by Aleck:
Chris Rock’s “No Sex in the Champagne Room” is a parody of Baz Luhrmann’s track “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen),” which is, in turn, based on an alleged speech allegedly given to an alleged graduating class by author Kurt Vonnegut. He never delivered it, it was actually an editorial from some paper, but, like an urban legend, it circulated the net and was attributed to Vonnegut. Much like the bogus “Bad American” piece that was allegedly written by comic George Carlin. He never wrote it, he disagrees with a lot of stuff in it, and he’s pretty mad about the whole thing.
Thanks for the information, Aleck.
I got to her Kurt Vonnegut when he was at the Iowa Memorial Union in September. He’s an amazing speaker.
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Originally posted by FX:
you are obviously not hanging around the right women
You’re probably right. I’ve been acting like Kai for years, and I haven’t had a single girl drool over me.
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Originally posted by DalekTek790:
You’re probably right. I’ve been acting like Kai for years, and I haven’t had a single girl drool over me.
I would think that the dead fish attitude isn’t the most romantic.
her-“I love you honey”
you-“I do not feel love”
her-slap!quote:
Originally posted by Headgehog:
I would think that the dead fish attitude isn’t the most romantic.
Just kidding. I was only half serious when I said that. Three quarters at the most.
Okay, I better cool it with the lame humor if I want to maintein my reputation as a serious intellectual.
DT, love the Guide to Fitting in to Normal Society!How about an Addendum for Nerds who are Moms…
– Don’t mention Lexx at the playgroup.
_ If you do mention Lexx at the playgroup, for God’s sake don’t try to explain what it is! Simply say it is “from the same genre ” as Star Trek and X-Files. Better to be labelled a Grown-up Geek than a Dangerous Influence by the other moms.
-Don’t get your kid a South African millipede and name it Squish unless your husband is going out of town on business. He won’t make you return a pet that the kids have already bonded with in his absence.
-When your preschooler teaches the Brunnen G song to her friends, smile at the other moms as you say, ” That new Gaelic language video has certainly made an impression on her. She’ll be fluent in no time!” Don’t pretend it’s Latin if any of the moms are homeschoolers!!
– Don’t tell your husband you’d rather have cluster lizard patterned bike shorts than a piece of jewelry for your anniversary.
– Keep your Lexx life and your sex life seperate. Husbands can get awfully touchy if the name Kai slips out at an inopportune moment.
– Don’t record Lexx episodes over your kids’ old Pokemon videos. There could be an awful mix-up some Saturday morning when you pop in a video and say, “Mommy wants another hour of sleep, why don’t you watch this for a while?”
– Husbands who like their sci-fi all noble and virtuous will not like Lexx no matter how much you want them to. They will hate Kai on sight. Accept it and keep drooling to a minimum.
-Remember that the people who really love you already know you are weird and accept you. It’s just the rest of the world you have to fool…..
It’s not easy being a middle-aged suburban nerd! But it sure is an adventure.
Basilisk
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Originally posted by Hypatia:
Unless you’re trying to pick up Droolers.
Yeah. But who’d wanna do that
Imagine Kai in the Loreal advert…
Kai: “Because I’m worth it”
lmao
I have an introducing-Lexx-to-outsider story to share. In the speech & debate team I was on in high school we’re supposed to find short scripted dialogs for interpretive events (dramatic, humorous, and duo interpretation) I found an online transcript of I Worship His Shadow, so I submitted part of it (His Shadow’s discussion of the nature of time with his bridge crew) to my speech coach last year for a possible dramatic interpretation piece. He rejected it as a D.I. piece, not because it was too weird, but because he considered it to be a humorous piece.
He said I could use it for H.I. but not D.I. How anything that ends with one of the characters saying “I worship His Divine Shadow” and shooting themself can be considered humorous is beyond me.Anyway, instead me and my friend did a scene from the Red Dwarf episode Marooned for duo at the tournament. It was a hit, and since I was so good as Rimmer I was asked to play him again in a scene from Cassandra. I politely declined.
But now I’ve gotten away from not just this thread but this forum as well.
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