Once Upon a Time…. by theFrey (Sections 9-10)

quote[quote]**** SECTION 9 ****[/quote]

“Well don’t you both look wonderful this morning,” Prince said in a cheerful voice. He smiled broadly at them, “Such a change Stanley from that ratty old uniform of yours, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, sure,” Stan grumbled, while inwardly acknowledging that the clothes *were* nice.

“Hello, Xev, hello, Stanley, hello, 790,” Kai greeted them as he stepped into the room.

At the sound of his voice, the Robot head that had been scanning the back gardens all night long hoping for a glimpse of his beloved man in black began to shriek. “Kai! Oh my luscious living dead one, how I’ve missed you! Quick! One of you morons turn me around I must view his loveliness, take me to my killer thriller.”

Stan rolled his eyes but figuring that it was the only way to shut 790 up, he went over to the window and turned him around.

Fortunately Stan did not appear to expect any gratitude from 790. Which was a good thing, as the robot head was devoting his full attention towards Kai.

“As you requested, Xev, here are your flowers,” Kai said holding out a very full bouquet.

Xev, walked over to Kai, looking at him carefully. As she took the flowers, she asked him. “Well Kai, do you think I look nice in this outfit?”

“You… always look nice, Xev.” He paused a moment and then continued, “Are your flowers satisfactory? It has been a long time since I have picked flowers.”

Xev looked at the large bunch of flowers, it was not what one might have expected. The bouquet included flowers, ferns, wooded twigs and grasses all bound together haphazardly. It looked a bit odd, and not at all like any of the flower arrangements she had learned about in the wife bank.

“ummm, it is very nice Kai,” she said politely. “And different.”

“Sheesh, Kai, I hope you never tried to impress a girl that way,” Stan quipped.

Kai gave Stan with a slightly puzzled look.

Stan sighed and shook his head, “Never mind. Thanks, Kai. I’m glad Xev, at least, can feel better.”

“Well I did wonder about that myself,” Prince remarked setting down a large vase on the table as he walked over and stood looking down at Xev. “But Kai insisted that since he could not be sure what you liked, he should add a selection of different things.”

“Well Xev,” he said moving a bit closer to her and taking a deep appreciative breath. “I am glad to see that that dress does match the lovely blue of your eyes. I was so hoping that it would.” He smiled warmly at her and then reached out a hand and gently touched a large spiny teasel in her flower arrangement. “Unfortunately there is nothing in this arrangement to compliment your outfit properly. Perhaps tomorrow I should forewarn Kai of your clothing colors.”

He stepped back slightly, reached into his pocket and pulled out a square of folded paper. “I also brought you something.”

Xev gingerly cradled the flowers in one arm and took the packet from Prince with a puzzled look. “What is this?” she asked.

“Oh, nothing to get excited about,” he smiled. “I wouldn’t want you to get an infection or anything. So I brought you up a few fresh bandages.” He waved a hand towards the table and said, “Why don’t you set those down a moment and I will help you rewrap your hand.”

“Are you sure you can spare the time?” She asked sarcastically as she laid the flowers on the table.

He only smiled, waiting until she sat down, then sitting beside her and beginning to tend to her hand.

“Xev? How did you injure your hand?” asked Kai

“Stupidly, but then what else would you expect from a love slut!” interjected 790 in a disdainful voice.

“She got a burn from a plate Kai.” Stan told him

Kai’s expression didn’t change, but somehow his voice seemed to convey concern. “Will you be all right?”

790 continued in an incensed tone, “She is so stupid she didn’t realize the plates sit on hot metal holders so the food will stay warm! The brainless bimbo tried to pick up the plate, metal holder and all!

Prince eyed Kai, “It was an accident Kai, one that Xev brought upon herself, I assure you it will not happen again. He glanced over towards the window. “Perhaps” he said archly, “Xev was unaware of how the food was kept warm as it traveled from the kitchens through the castle. We cannot all of us have your range of knowledge, now can we 790.

Xev looked at Prince strangely, he was making sure that Kai knew she had done this to herself, yet he was defending her from 790. She had felt stupid after the accident, She though a plate was a plate. Plates that were burning hot were foreign to her experience.

“Oh really Prince?” 790 smirked. Under what sun do you think that any love slut would have the knowledge vouchsafed to a robot like myself?”

“Ah,” Prince smiled as returned his attention to unwrapping Xev’s hand. “Now you see why I don’t want to let you go either 790. You are full of much information, some of it unique. I would be foolish to let it slip though my hands wouldn’t I.

“Not really! I’m actually a very *dumb* robot head! You should let me go with Kai! *He* knows so much more than I! He could teach me!”

“While I am certain that Kai is indeed a vast library of knowledge, you are not a dumb robot head, and we need you here.”

790 made a growling sound.

Xev was quiet as Prince applied more fresh aloe and carefully re-wrapped her hand.

“I am certain that Xev would not have touched a hot plate knowingly.” Kai said.

“Yeah, right! She’s all breasts and no brains, Kai! You should abandon them and take me away with you!”

“I am not abandoning anyone, 790.”

“Damn sure feels that way to me,” Stan muttered dropping down on the corner of his bed.

“Stanley, once you can show me that you can care for my hair, I will know you have learned something on your own.” Kai told him walking over to stand by bed.

“Then what?” Stan asked.

“Yes, Kai, then what?” Prince asked, giving Xev’s hand a final soft pat before rising and walking around the table to stand on the other side of Stanley.

“Then I will take the appropriate actions.”

“hummm, I am not at all sure I will be able to allow that Kai, but..” He hurried to finish after noting the aggressive lift of Kai’s chin, “We will have to see what occurrs. don’t you agree?”

“Agree with what? When they have learned this thing on their own, if you try to stop them I will assist them in leaving. You can not stop me from doing this. As I told Stanley, I am not abandoning them.”

“Well Kai,” 790 exclaimed nastily, “That isn’t what that hag of a love slut said last night.

Ignoring the warning look from Stan, 790 continued in the same venomous way. “Imagine the nerve of her. Crying and carrying on for hours that you had abandoned her.”

Xev looked mortified, as everyone in the room looked at her. Her eyes darted from 790 to Kai and then finally to Prince.

Prince looked thoughtfully at 790 and then turned a sympathetic face towards Xev. Her eyes however flinched away from the unholy amusement twitching at the corners of his lips.

“Why Xev,” he cooed, “Were you upset last night?”

“790 is good at exaggerating. I did say that I felt Kai had abandoned us. But I was just tired and in pain. That’s all.”

Kai stepped over to the table and frowned slightly. “Xev, I have not abandoned you. If I had, I would not be here now.”

“That is true,” Stan admitted standing up shooting a warning glance at 790.

“Of course Kai didn’t abandon all of you. I didn’t think he would. Which is why you are here.”

“For now.” Xev retorted.

Prince merely smiled. “Well, I’ll leave you to your flowers, while Kai and I have a chat.”

“The dead do not chat.”

“Well then you can listen while I talk.”

“Why?” Kai asked turning to face Prince.

“You want to keep seeing them, do you not? Prince asked. What am *I* getting out of all this? I am feeding, clothing, and sheltering them.”

“Against our will, so that doesn’t matter!” Stan muttered.

Prince raised an eyebrow at Stan, “But you are kept safe from harm.”

He then turned his attention back to the dark man, “And I promise you, Kai, there are plenty of harmful places in this kingdom. Unless, of course, you are going to go back on your word.”

“I am not.”

“Then since I am taking care of them, you will be allowed to see them if you will agree to talk with me when I ask. And they will continue to be well treated. Is it a deal?”

Kai studied Prince for a long moment, “Making a deal… could be helping them

A rueful smile tugged at princes mouth, “Well, let’s not get *too* analytical, shall we? You can help *me* by talking to me. The fact that they benefit from it is a bonus.”

“Very well.”

“Um, you know Prince. I don’t want to tell you how to run your kingdom or anything, but don’t you think you have better things to do than chatting with an ex-assassin?” Stan asked sarcastically. “I mean, what exactly is talking to Kai going to do to benefit you?”

“Why Stanley, do you think I am merely going to discuss the weather with Kai? I though perhaps Kai and I could discuss various ways of improving the training of my place guards, and assassin-proofing my quarters and other little thing like that. Boring I know, but one does have to think of these things, after all…,” he smiled deeply, “you wouldn’t want anything to happen to me now would you?”

Stan stared skeptically at Prince, shook his head slightly then replied with disbelief dripping from every syllable, “Oh no, of course not, not us.”

“Well I didn’t think you did.” Prince went on genially. “I am quite fond of you all in my own way you know, and it would pain me deeply to think of anything happening to you if I should suffer an accident.”

“Why should something happen to Xev and Stan and 790 if *you* suffer an accident?” Kai inquired in a cold voice.

“Oh my. Didn’t I tell you? How careless of me. Well it is quite simple you see.” Prince grinned at them all, “If anything should happen to me, my guards all have orders to kill them. So… I though that perhaps, for your own good you understand, that I would ask Kai to help me improve my security. I think an Ex-assassin would make an excellent bodyguard. Don’t you?”

quote[quote]**** SECTION 10 ****[/quote]

All eyes stared at Prince: Xev in horror, Stan in fear, Kai expressionless as always. 790 yelped.

“Kai doesn’t want to work for a sleaze like you! Do you, Kai!”

“The dead do not have wants, 790,” Kai responded absently.

“Hmm. Does that mean you reject my offer?” Prince inquired.

“No. The dead do not have wants. But I do have affinities, sometimes. And motivations.. Less often.”

“Are you motivated right now?” Prince asked.

Kai’s answer was simple and to the point. “Yes.”

“Then do we have a deal?”

Kai gazed at him steadily. “I agree to be your bodyguard for as long as Xev, Stan and 790 stay here, providing that they are not harmed and continue to be
well treated.”

“And I agree to those terms. So we do indeed have a deal,” Prince smiled.

“Kai! Oh, my darling dead one, you’ve fallen into evil clutches! Don’t you dare let that conniving Casanova lay his dirty hands on you!” 790 shrieked.

“I’m not interested in Kai’s body, you idiotic robot head. Not in the same way you are, at any rate,” Prince snapped. He turned to Kai. “Come, Kai. There
are many things for us to discuss. You can visit them again tomorrow, as always.”

Kai nodded, looking at Xev, who watched him fearfully. “Do not worry, Xev. I will return in the morning. You will all be safe.”

“Yeah? Says who?!” Stan demanded.

“Prince did. And Prince does not break his word.” Kai said the last part with a shade of warning.

“Of course I don’t. Now, please excuse us. We’ll see all of you in the morning for a nice long visit.”

Prince exited, Kai following behind him.

Xev sat on her bed with a sigh. “Well, at least we’ll be ok.”

“But still locked up. Come on, Xev! We gotta do something!”

“I know!” She replied crossly. “We’ll just have to think. Right now I want to arrange my flowers.”

As she began trying to sort through the heavy mass, she accidentally dropped a some of the larger twigs and teasels onto the floor.

“Boy, you sure are a piece of work, Xev,” Stan muttered, kneeling down to pick them up and tugging on one of the teasels which had snagged on the fringe of the rug.

It didn’t want to budge, and it was only with effort that Stan removed it. As he did, he noticed that the strands of fringe looked different somehow. Smoother. He stared at the rug, then the teasel.

“Stan? What is it?” Xev asked.

“Turn around,” he said excitedly.

“Why?”

“Just do it, ok? I got an idea.”

Xev shrugged, mystified, but turned around for him. Stan brought the teasel against her hair so that the spikes caught in it slightly, then very gently pulled
downward. As he did, Xev’s hair began to brush neatly into place.

“Wowie! It’s working!” He exclaimed in delight.

“What are you doing?” She half turned.

He showed her the teasels. “We can use these like brushes. We can brush your hair!”

Xev’s eyes lit up as she comprehended his words. “And so we can practice fixing it! Quick! Let’s look at the other things and see if there’s more that can help
us!”

Stanley pushed the now unwanted vase to one side as Xev began to separate the large bouquet.

“What do you suppose these are called Stan?,” Xev asked setting the two precious teasels to one side.

“They are a larger version of what is usually called a dipsacus fullonum, you uneducated cow!”

Stan straightened up and stalked over to 790 where he sat on the window sill. “Now listen here 790,” Stanley snarled picking up the robot head, giving it a hard shake, and thumping it back down on a bare spot on the table. “You are going to be just a little more cooperative, do you hear me?”

“Oh yeah?” taunted the truculent robot head. “And what exactly do you think is going to make me cooperate with you two?”

“I’ll tell you what is going to make you cooperate with us,” Xev told him, leaning over Stanley’s shoulder. “If,” she continued in a light sing-song coo, “You are not helpful every minute of the day, I am going to point out to Kai how little you love him. Since you obviously can’t be bothered with doing something he specifically asked you to, and clearly don’t care if you are ever reunited with him. I’ll also tell him how Stan and I both love him so much better than that and are working hard so we can be with him.”

She and Stanley grinned at each other as the shocked 790 sputtered and growled, unable to express his shock and outrage at Xev’s plan.

“Now 790,” Stan asked pointing to the teasel, “What did you call that?”

I was fairly oblivious that if 790 had a body, he would have tried to murder both of them. After his eyes flickered a few more times, he fairly spat out the words, “dipsacus fullonum! Or as it is more commonly referred to, and nothing is more common than you two! A teasel!“

“Well thank you very much 790″, Stan smirked

“Oh Stan, look!” Xev cried excitedly as she untangled a thick bunch of long soft green grasses. “Look,” she held it out for him to touch, “feel how silky it is. I could practice braiding!

“It is Carex comans, you blond twit, also called Frosted Curls, so I guess other smarter people than you two have liken it to hair also. That other is an Ornamental Grass called Festuca glauca, or Blue Fescue.

“Great Xev, and it even has one of those bandy things on it. We needed one of those. Oh look, there are a couple more of them on the flower bunches. “

Stan and Xev quickly separated the flowers from the various grasses, removing all the elastic bands and then standing them up in the vase.

“What do you want to do with the twigs Zev?” asked Stan.

“I’m not sure Stan, they are really too big for the vase, but Kai might have given them to us for a reason. Why don’t you lay them on the window sill for right now, while I put water in my flowers.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

A short time later Xev was seated a little way away from the table practicing her braiding on a hank of frosted curl grass which she had bound at the top with several lengths of rug fringe and wedged into a joint on the table top.

At length, Stanley had wrestled Xev’s hair into a smooth mass, with only a few screams from Xev when a teasel point had broken off unnoticed and been brushed into her scalp.

Hours had passed unnoticed as they worked. Xev’s braiding had rapidly improved as she worked with the hair like grass. The repeated braiding and unbraiding were a bit much though for the delicate grasses, which broke and torn, eventually making a small heap of grass bits at her feet. She had switched to the coarser bluish grass a few hours ago, just to keep practicing.

Stan was having a much easier time of it, for one thing his braiding material did not occasionally slip from it anchor point, and he did have the benefit of being able to ask Xev to tilt her head into a better position as he learned how to braid at the angle he wanted the braid to lay.

Both of them were startled as the projections that 790 had been playing in a continuous loop all morning we abruptly stopped in mid-sentence. “Someone is coming!” he hissed. “Turn me around! It might be my It might be my darling deceased one!”

He was ignored though as Stanley scooped up the elastic bands and thrust them at Xev. “Quick, go take your hair down and hide these,” he hissed. As Xev scrambled into the bathroom, Stan grabbed both teasels, not with out a bit of pain on his part, and hurried them over to the windowsill, thrusting them amongst the twigs. Ignoring prickled fingers he quickly arranged them so that the damaged and missing points wouldn’t be as noticeable.

Turning just as the door opened he spotted Xev’s braid wedged into the table joint. As casually as he could he scooted over to the table and stood in front of it.

Trying to be as surreptitious as possible, he tugged at the braid, which resisted his first few efforts before finally pulling free with a slight jerk. Stuffing it out of sight into his pocket Stanley smiled weakly at the tall woman as she entered. He was surprised to see only a single guard, who remained in the hall as he closed the door behind the woman. “Good evening.” He said, not really expecting an answer.

“Good evening sir,” she replied, setting the tray on the edge of the table. “How are you doing this evening?”

“Hey! Why are you talking to me? Not,” he explained hurriedly at her upraised brow, “that I’m not glad mind you. I’m just a bit surprised. And what happen to
the other guards?”

Xev came out of the bathroom vainly trying to smooth her crackling hair down.

“Hey Xev, she talked to me.”

“I heard. Hello, I’m Xev of B3K and this is Stanley Tweedle.

“Yes I know.” The woman replied. I’m Jayne Stewart, head of housekeeping here at Tree vale castle. Please be seated, your dinner will get cold.” At that she
began to deftly lay out dinner, removing covers and filling glasses.

“Hey.” Xev noted as she sat down, “The metal holders aren’t on the tray, but our plates are still warm.”

“Ah, yes. Well…” Jayne paused slightly, “In order to keep you safe, the Master says that they are no longer permitted in this room. So I had to leave them on the guards table in the hall.”

She noted Xev’s embarrassed flush. “I am not sure why, since I don’t think the same thing would happen again, but it was a direct order, so I had no say in the matter.”

“So what happened to the other guards?” Stanley asked, as much for the information as to change the subject for Xev’s comfort.

Jayne regarded Stanley steadily. “There are still several layers of guards between you and freedom,” she warned.

“No, no. That’s not what I was getting at. I was just wondering what happened to the two that use to come and stand inside the door while you were here.”

“Humm,” she said as she began to circle the room twitching covers smooth, and straightening pillows. “They are training with the dark man this evening, all
of the guards are going to be taking extra training from him.” She stopped and peered down at the pile of broken grasses on the floor.

At first Stan thought she had stopped to gather her thoughts. Then he noticed that she was stooping down to gather up the debris. “Do you wish me to dispose of the twigs at this time also?” she queried glancing over at the windowsill?

“No.” Xev said quickly. “Those are mine. I like them there.”

“As you will Miss,” she said as she straightened up, “but please be advised that the rooms must be cleaned. It would not do to have them look cluttered or messy. In fact I doubt if it would be permitted.”

Xev looked a pit panic struck at this and glanced meaningfully at Stan.

“Now, Jayne,” Stanley said hastily, “WE will get it all tidied up, don’t worry. I don’t like clutter, either. I’m a neat person at heart.” He smiled what he hoped was a charming smile.

To Stan’s relief and Xev’s amazement, she smiled back at him. “Good. I like that in a man.”

Xev almost laughed out loud. This woman was actually responding to Stan? Amazing! Best to go along with it since she didn’t want anything to happen to their flowers.

“Stanley is a good man in many respects,” Xev said sweetly.

Now it was Stan’s turn to look surprised. But he quickly smiled again. “Aw, well, I try to be,” he said, looking down and scuffling his feet a bit.

Jayne raised an eyebrow. “I’m certain that you do.”

“It is a shame, your sticks aren’t woven into a wreath, then you could hang them as a decoration,” Jayne said as she gathered their dinner things onto a tray once they were done. “I shall see you tomorrow. I hope you have pleasant dreams.” Was it Xev’s imagination, or did she have a twinkle in her eye as she looked at Stan?

“Good night, Jayne,” Stan said.

“Good night, Jayne,” echoed Xev.

Once she had departed, Stan exhaled. “Thanks, Xev.”

“I’m glad I didn’t have to come up with anything good about you, Tweedle. I’d have fried my circuits with the effort!” 790 sneered.

“Pipe down, 790,” Xev hissed. “Remember that if you don’t help us, you’ll never get to see Kai for more than an hour a day again!”

“For once you’re right, you sloe-eyed sleaze,” the robot head retorted. “Now get back at it, you two! I want out of this dump! The only imprisonment I want is to be Kai’s sex slave!”

“Right!” said Stan as he and Xev gathered their tools back onto the table.
While Stan practiced braiding Xev’s hair, she used her newly learned braiding skills to weave a large lumpy wreath. While it did not look exactly like the examples that 790 projected for her, in the end it did not look too bad either. It was several hours later when Xev hung the wreath in the center of the window from the curtain rod with string made from a few tied together bits of rug tassels.

A weary Stan cleaned up the table and picked up all the stray bits of twigs and bark from floor.

While Stanley tidied the area, Xev tucked the teasels into her wreath at a jaunty angle, trying to hide as many of the increasing number of missing spines as she could. At the insistence of 790, Xev placed him on a windowsill facing the gardens and then exhausted, she and Stan went to bed.

“Argghhhhh!!!!!” Stan cried, as he scrambled out of bed in response to the undulating wail of a siren. “What, what, what’s wrong?! …Xev, get up! Hurry!”

Calling for Xev to get up was unnecessary as she was already crouched in the center of her bed, looking wildly around for the source of her panic.