Ha HAH!!! It is TINA!!!!!!
That sort of talk will never get you certified with the Institute For Mad Scientists! (c.f. MST3K episode #1002 [i]The Girl In Gold Boots[/i] seen this morning on the SciFi Channel.)
It is proper– nay, required!– that you meticulously describe the ingenious nature of your plan.
Behold:
TAKE DR. MALIGNO’S WORLD DOMINATION QUIZ!
So, you think you’ll rule the world before I do. Ha ha ha ha! Balderdash! See how weak and powerless you actually are by taking my quiz. You fools! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha let’s start.
1) Ha ha ha ha ha ha! People of earth! Bow down before _________ !
a) my dog Woofy
b) Ben Vereen
c) they stop serving dessert
d) me
2) Ha ha ha ha ha ha! You dare to challenge the wrath of ___________?
a) Shelley Fabares
b) Alistair Cooke
c) that drooling old tranvestite on the corner
d) Dr. Maligno
3) Ha ha ha ha! Your puny _______________ are useless against me!
a) grandmothers
b) op-ed columns
c) Vienna sausages
d) weapons
4) Perhaps, Mr. Secretary General, you don’t fathom the power I wield with this ______________________.
a) coupon for $.30 off my next Smoothie
b) downloadable porn
c) song in my heart, which I was born to sing – hit it, boys!
d) planet-destroying laser death machine
5) Watch – with one small movement of my finger I shall vaporize one of the world’s oldest centers of power, culture, and finance! I refer of course to ___________________.
a) Spooner, Wisconsin
b) that kid Jeffy Henderson’s basement
c) that place we drove through yesterday?…where you ordered the French toast
d) London, England
6) Why do you oppose me? You could be powerful beyond your wildest dreams! After all, we’re very much alike, ______________ and I.
a) Tommy Smothers
b) Withnail
c) oily residue
d) you
7) Come! Together we could rule the world! __________ me!
a) Criticize
b) Make some smores with
c) Lick
d) Join
8) It was not wise to try to escape me. Your rash action will cost you ____________!
a) a trip to Chuck E. Cheese
b) $1.37
c) those fetching tube socks you’re wearing
d) your life
9) Do me a favor, girlfriend, and hand me that ___________. Thanks, doll.
a) blush
b) box of ranch-flavored Doritos, I can’t stop eating them
c) Erik Estrada pin-up, rrrrrrrrrrrrowwwrrrrrrr
d) vial of population-decimating super-virus
10) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ___________!
a) ho ho ho
b) hen hen hen
c) plankton plankton plankton
d) ha ha ha
Answers:
If you answered anything but “d” on any one of the questions, you failed! Failed miserably! Proving what an insignificant bug you are, helpless to stop my plans! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
If you got all the answers right – join me! Together we can – ! Nah, on second thought, you’re still just an insect. Bow down before me! Ha ha ha ha ha *cough* ha!