NEW! Lexx this week!
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Posts
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quote:
Originally posted by JumpingJedi:
Dont forget people its all new Lexx this week. “Midsummers Nightmare” for UK on Thurs/Sunday and the same for US on Friday. Hopefully this place may liven up when it all kicks off again.
Yep, I’ll second that, come on you American peeps…WAKE UP, it’s time to party, Lexx is back and it’s been to quiet around here, let’s have some good old fashioned speculation and theories on what’s gonna happen, let’s get back to the Aleck vs DT790 sparring sessions, we want more of FX’s sparkling humour, and where the heck is Hypatia???
Don’t leave it to poor ol’ JJ to keep things ticking, the Sadboard NEEDS YOU!!!
Squishy [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]This was a party political broadcast on behalf of the Squish party!!! [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img]
Dont forget people its all new Lexx this week. “Midsummers Nightmare” for UK on Thurs/Sunday and the same for US on Friday. Hopefully this place may liven up when it all kicks off again.
quote:
Originally posted by the Cluster Lizard Political Party:
Yep, I’ll second that, come on you American peeps…WAKE UP, it’s time to party, Lexx is back and it’s been to quiet around here, let’s have some good old fashioned speculation and theories on what’s gonna happen, let’s get back to the Aleck vs DT790 sparring sessions, we want more of FX’s sparkling humour, and where the heck is Hypatia???
Don’t leave it to poor ol’ JJ to keep things ticking, the Sadboard NEEDS YOU!!!
Squishy [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
The Following is Political Broadcast from the Hedgehog Political Party
While it is the stance of this party to make the Sadboard more exciting, we feel that the board’s traffic has increased substancially over the past week, and will continue to grow exponentially for the next month. A lot has happened in scifi over the past two weeks (B5:LOTR, LEXX returning to the US, a possible LEXX spinoff, SG-1 tidbits, etc) and all this great news will attract new fans and revive the spirits of the older ones.
However our agendas do slightly clash with the Cluster Lizard Party. While the DT/Aleck rants are entertaining, its become hackneyed. Perhaps a new sort of argument is in order, something equally as contriversal, say chocolate vs vanilla. (YEA RIGHT)
Mary Beth has been livining up the Jokers forum with plenty of jokes. We encourage others to do the same, we know your doing it over at scifi.com share the humor over here!
The party does appreciate the efforts of JJ to liven up the board, and he will be joined soon by dozens of others; people with even more out-there theories.
We also believe that new LEXX will calm the ideas that s4 generally sucks. LEXX can’t be viewed per episode, it has to be looked at as a whole.<font size=3?THE SADBOARD NEEDS YOU
And remember this election day, vote the Hedgehog Party Slate.
ahem;
the preceding were paid political announcements and do not necessarily reflect the views of this program or this station…
(speaking of which, where is my money you chiselers! [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img])
okay kiddies; four more days to lexx in the us and three more in the uk, look sharp and get ready [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img]
we will resume our post lexx breakdown at 10 pm est on friday in #sadgeezer at darkzone
now back to our regularly scheduled programming….love fx
Spank me!
Ah-hahahahahahahahaha!
[Juggles rocks. Sticks out tongue.]
I would like to point out that I’m am no longer a member of the Cluster Lizard Party (they chucked me out, coz I ate all the brains), and am now an independent party of one.
However, I feel that I can offer more than the Cluster Lizard Party or the Headgehog party.
Firstly, I would reintroduce the classic Aleck vs DT790 battles (Thrilla in Manila eat your heart out!!!), and these would take place in a live venue such as the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, where they would top the bill, with Lennox vs Tyson fighting before the main event.
Secondly, I would introduce nationwide culling of all Farscape fans, but rest assured they would be put down humanely.
Lastly, I would introduce legislation to enforce Sci-fi execs to be put to death if they gave the spin-off of Lexx a bad deal in terms of promoting it.
So vote for Squish, you know it makes sense, and while your out voting for me, don’t forget the rally cry of ‘Squish that Headgehog!!!’.
This was a party political broadcast on behalf of the newly formed Squish party.
Squishy [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img]quote:
Originally posted by Headgehog:
Hedgehog Political Party
Would that be the sensible candidate, or the silly candidate? [img]images/smiles/icon_smile.gif[/img]
——————
[b]Spiny Norman[/b] [i]n.[/i]: A giant hedgehog reportedly ranging from between twelve feet to eight hundred yards long
Da dah dad da dada dah da
TEQUILA!
Dada dah da da da dah
LEXX!
WHOOOOHOOOOOO! KEGGER!
*Hypatia runs around, dancing like a moron and making Margaritas*
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Oh yeah, and there’s a MM chat on thursday!
quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
Da dah dad da dada dah daTEQUILA!
ole! [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
and welcome back dt, let the games begin [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img]
squish, i may well have to vote for you, especially as you are putting down farscapers humanely (and i am a nonmilitant vegetarian)LEEEEEEXXXXXXXXX!
did i mention i got some truly awesome answers from jeff h/790 for the interview today?! [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
quote:
Originally posted by DalekTek790:
Would that be the sensible candidate, or the silly candidate? [img]images/smiles/icon_smile.gif[/img]
——————
[b]Spiny Norman[/b] [i]n.[/i]: A giant hedgehog reportedly ranging from between twelve feet to eight hundred yards long
I haven’t decided yet which kind of canidate I am yet. However the party says that I’m the sensible one.
Thank for the Dr. Who link and the Hedgehog reference.
————————–
Lexx, lexx, lexx, lexx, lexx, lexx,
l’lexx, l’lexx
LEXX!It’s been way too long!!
The Following is a
PaidAdvertisement from the Hedgehog Political PartyOur fellow canidate from the Squish Party has made a good point, Farscape is an issue that must be dealt with. However we have unlocked secret documents from the Clustergate hotel the says that he will not put them down humanely, put instead he himself will engage in cephalophagy (brain eating), quite a cruel way to die if you ask us.
Here at the Hedgehog Political Party we don’t engage in cephalophagy, our illithid overlords insist that that privilage is only reserved for them. Instead we take care of them in our own way. Instead we will force them to wacth “Sesame Street in Outer Space” reruns, but start it off with Farscape credits. They won’t know the difference uintil its too late and they are turned away from the show forever. Y’see in the Hedgehog Political Party we believe in rehabilitation, not the death penalty (snicker).We support their bill that scifi exectsmust treat the LEXX spinoff with respect, as well as B5:LOTR and Crusade, to name a few. But we will go one step further. Headgehog will take over the networks and make sure its done right. Can’t trust gerbils to do anything right these days.
Finally we need all the support we can get for the upcoming Great War. Y’know the one between the US and England, over who gets to see the finale first. [url=http://www.sadgeezer.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=4&t=000550]http://www.sadgeezer.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=4&t=000550[/url]
Death in the name of lexx, “It will be a good way to die”A vote for Headgehog is a vote for truth, justice, and the sci-fi way.
Err good scifi, like Lexx and B5, not crap like Farscape (s3) and the new Treks.
quote:
Originally posted by Headgehog:
[QB
However we have unlocked secret documents from the Clustergate hotel the says that he will not put them down humanely, put instead he himself will engage in cephalophagy (brain eating), quite a cruel way to die if you ask us.
[/QB]
ahem
squish has always been quite open about his cephalophagy, methinks you are trying to make an issue where none exists [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] or are you perhaps advocating discrimination against cephalophages? [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
we at the sadboard believe there is room in these universes for everyone, be they cephalophages, coprophages or anthropophages like the lovely lyekka
now, would you care to comment on allegations that you engaged in illicit relations with a young lexx staffer? [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img]
quote:
Originally posted by FX:
now, would you care to comment on allegations that you engaged in illicit relations with a young lexx staffer? [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img]
I have no comment at this time. Next question.
quote:
Originally posted by Headgehog:
However we have unlocked secret documents from the Clustergate hotel the says that he will not put them down humanely, put instead he himself will engage in cephalophagy (brain eating), quite a cruel way to die if you ask us.
“Cephalophagy” means “head-eating.” I believe the correct term would be [i]en[/i]cephalophagy.
In lieu of the argument put forward by the right honourable member of the Headgehog party of the wrongs of ‘brain eating’, I would submit that the Squish party has always been upfront in it’s practice of the said ‘eating brains’.
What the learned fellow seems to forget, is that the Squish party does not advocate the eating of any brains, but rather the meager portions that come from Farscape fans.
Secondly, we have the trained personel at camp X-ray handling the culling of the said fans.
The fans will be treated humanely, and will be given the opportunity to repent, if however, after weeks of watching Lexx for every hour of every day they do not change their beliefs, we will of course have to force them to watch Andromeda until they are completely insane and then put them down…of course the brains will then be devoured with a nice chianti and some fathor beans!!!
As for the impending Great War, well it’s the Squish party’s honourable policy to support the winner of this war, so that any remaining survivors (most likely English) would also be handed over to us to be either reprogrammed or have their brains eaten.
Remember, vote Squish, and keep your brain.
Vote Headgehog, and get squished on the highway of life…your choice!!!
This was yet another party political broadcast for the Squish party.
The Rt. Hon Squish MEP. [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img]quote:
Originally posted by FX:
ole! [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
and welcome back dt, let the games begin [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img]
squish, i may well have to vote for you, especially as you are putting down farscapers humanely (and i am a nonmilitant vegetarian)LEEEEEEXXXXXXXXX!
did i mention i got some truly awesome answers from jeff h/790 for the interview today?! [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
Rest assured FX, that the Squish party will be humane towards the Farscape fans, and that the Squish party has not overlooked the rights of the nonmilitant vegetarian, therefore the Squish party will be eating the brains with a green salad, served up in a marines helmet!!!
The Squish party will be making sweeping reforms in the future, which will include the right to call your boss ‘His Divine Shadow’ and sentence those who slander Lexx to death row!!!
Vote Squish…it really is much more fun.
Squishy [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img]I just read in the moderators forum that the site is averagign 3100 hits a day this month! I’d love to know what going through their minds after reading a discussion like this. Speaking of which, what are we runing for anyway, Squish?
and on that note: [url=http://www.sadgeezer.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=14&t=000018]http://www.sadgeezer.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=14&t=000018[/url]i absolutely hate to interrupt but i have to say “HAHAHAHAHA” you guys are cracking me up! [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] and thanks for the mention Headgehog on the Laughterhouse5 forum. [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
quote:
Originally posted by Headgehog:
I just read in the moderators forum that the site is averagign 3100 hits a day this month! I’d love to know what going through their minds after reading a discussion like this. Speaking of which, what are we runing for anyway, Squish?
and on that note: [url=http://www.sadgeezer.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=14&t=000018]http://www.sadgeezer.com/cgi-bin/ultima tebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=14&t=000018[/url]
What are we running for?… WHAT are we running for?, you start this whole thing and you don’t know what we’re running
for, how the hell should I know???
I guess it’s on who get’s named silliest Lexxian on the board, but it’s all good!!!
I have no animosity towards you whatsoever Headgehog, apart from having too say ‘Die Peeg Dog, Die!!!’ (please say in mexican accent, it sounds better that way!!!).
Squishy [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img]quote:
Originally posted by Squish-ums:
What are we running for?… WHAT are we running for?, you start this whole thing and you don’t know what we’re running
for, how the hell should I know???
I guess it’s on who get’s named silliest Lexxian on the board, but it’s all good!!!
I have no animosity towards you whatsoever Headgehog, apart from having too say ‘Die Peeg Dog, Die!!!’ (please say in mexican accent, it sounds better that way!!!).
Squishy [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img]
Yea, silliest Lexxian does sound like a good title. Which I concede to you, for now, mu-wa-hah-hah-hah-haa! Alst night I dind’t have anything clever/witty to write, but I had to try something.
Oh I know that there’s no hard feelings betwen us. I enjoy these bouts as much as you or those who read them. Everyone who posts/lurks here that its all in good fun.
Something I forgot to include in the previous post was that hits are up over 50%. Which means that there a lot of newbies lurking here. I was thinking about what they may think of this thread.
Speaking of this post, JJ do you think that the Sadbaord is returning to its usualhijinks yet?I think you started this one by saying “This was a party political broadcast on behalf of the Squish party!!!” I just built up that. But now that I look back on it, I did start the election part.
You’ve won this battle Squish, but the War hasn’t even started yet! mu-wa-hah-hah-hah-haa!
[i]Working in the shadows, in smoke filled backrooms using soft money from barely legal sources, Hypatia worked feverishly to subvert both parties, and to widen the gap between them. ‘Divide and conquer’ she would mutter under her breath. Until one day the break was complete, and Squish won the day.[/i]
Or did he? The seemingly victorious Squish found himself facing a more powerfull force than Hedgehog ever was. Yes, by promising the droolers a season 5 with nude MM shots, and by promising the return of Haberman with more shower scenes and the obligitory ‘scene’ between the two Xev [thin ice -Ed] Hypatia had united the Lexxians and was voted into office in a landslide.
One day Squish recieved a invitation to the Oval Office. Hypatia asked him to sit down and began speaking:
“Other than the warm beer, I always felt that America and Britain should be closest friends. You could be vice-President. All the brains you can eat.”
Hypatia paused a moment to let Squishy think it over.
quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
Hypatia paused a moment to let Squishy think it over.
well done hypatia, [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]…erm, are we starting a [b]squish fiction[/b] tradition here, or does this come under [b]gerbil tradition[/b]
[img]images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img]quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
[i]Working in the shadows, in smoke filled backrooms using soft money from barely legal sources, Hypatia worked feverishly to subvert both parties, and to widen the gap between them. ‘Divide and conquer’ she would mutter under her breath. Until one day the break was complete, and Squish won the day.[/i]Or did he? The seemingly victorious Squish found himself facing a more powerfull force than Hedgehog ever was. Yes, by promising the droolers a season 5 with nude MM shots, and by promising the return of Haberman with more shower scenes and the obligitory ‘scene’ between the two Xev [thin ice -Ed] Hypatia had united the Lexxians and was voted into office in a landslide.
One day Squish recieved a invitation to the Oval Office. Hypatia asked him to sit down and began speaking:
“Other than the warm beer, I always felt that America and Britain should be closest friends. You could be vice-President. All the brains you can eat.”
Hypatia paused a moment to let Squishy think it over.
Ah, so another corrupt politician enters the frey (oooooh…that sounds rather rude!!!).
Anyway to continue this dialogue…Squishy did indeed pause for a minute, but he was not pausing for the suggestion made by President Hypatia.
A cold trickle of sweat gently made its’ way over the rough features of the cluster lizard, the mere mention of brains had sent Squish into fantasy land.
He sat there imagining what it would be like eating President Hypatia’s brain, he quickly removed that thought, knowing that the American people would never accept him if he did such a deed…he’d have to think of another way to defeat his foe.
Of course he was completely gracious in his defeat, but certainly was insulted by the Presidents offer, but he knew he was not the only one.
Little did the President know that he had been given a secret report, one that had reported that the devious Hypatia had offered the post to Squish’s former nemesis…The Headgehog.
Squish also knew that the Headgehog had not made his decision yet, which had prompted the evil Hypatia to offer it to Squish instead.
Squish feigned ignorance of this fact to the President, so that he would not play his hand too soon.
Squish had a masterplan, he would teach this upstart President a lesson she would never forget and a lesson she would not see coming, but for this to succeed, he would need to enlist his former rival, Headgehog.
He knew that his tireless efforts in defeating the Headgehog had allowed Hypatia to slip in unnoticed, both Squish and Headgehog had been shocked when the coup d’etat had emerged, both claimed the right to bring vengeance to this shadowy foe.
The Great War was coming, and Squish needed allies, so he had made up his mind that the Headgehog would prove a valuable ally…for now.
President Hypatia knew that Squish was a dangerous character and had to be watched, she was used to moving in the shadows and would use this to her advantage…she desperately needed to know what Squish was up to.
Squish left the oval office and the President in a determined mood, it was not over, not by a longshot, and Squish made sure the President was aware of this by saying to her that she should keep her freinds close, and her enemies even closer.
The President was certainly left perturbed by that seemingly innocuous advice.The story continues…
Squish [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img]
quote:
Originally posted by Headgehog:
Yea, silliest Lexxian does sound like a good title. Which I concede to you, for now, mu-wa-hah-hah-hah-haa! Alst night I dind’t have anything clever/witty to write, but I had to try something.
Oh I know that there’s no hard feelings betwen us. I enjoy these bouts as much as you or those who read them. Everyone who posts/lurks here that its all in good fun.
Something I forgot to include in the previous post was that hits are up over 50%. Which means that there a lot of newbies lurking here. I was thinking about what they may think of this thread.
Speaking of this post, JJ do you think that the Sadbaord is returning to its usualhijinks yet?I think you started this one by saying “This was a party political broadcast on behalf of the Squish party!!!” I just built up that. But now that I look back on it, I did start the election part.
You’ve won this battle Squish, but the War hasn’t even started yet! mu-wa-hah-hah-hah-haa!
In light of President Hypatia’s coup d’etat, I think it prudent we put aside our differences to unite as one force for the good of the planet and all Lexxians.
The planet Lexxia is now in grave danger, Hypatia is evil absolute, and models herself on His Divine Shadow…she must be stopped at all costs.
We both know that the Great War is coming, and although we will be on different sides when that day comes, we must not allow an agent for the Canadians to be in power.
You may not beleive this, but I have spoken to a seer, she told me that it is Hypatia that engineers the whole thing, so that in the aftermath the Canadians will take your country, she, like her fellow Canadians are very shadowy.
The Great War is inevitable, the seer has predicted this, but allowing the Canadians to conquer the U.S unobstructed will have dire consequences for the rest of the planet…heed my warning, this will happen.I can’t imagine what the lurkers must think of posts like these, probably think we are completely insane, which doesn’t bother me…because I am!!!
But yeah it’s all good fun, and I still marvel at how the Internet shows that even when we are different nationalities, we are not that different.
I’ve been to many boards, where some people attack you based on your country of origin, it’s great that we don’t get that here.
Squishy [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img]Hypatia leaned back and sighed. She wondered why Squishy rejected the offer, but there was no time to wonder, as Lexx would start in 3 HOURS WHOOOO! [sorry, carried away -Ed]. As she sat down, her aide entered carrying…a BAG OF PRETZELS! ‘A Present’ read the card. Hypatia’s eyes widened, what could it mean? Was it an allusion to her predessesor’s inability to eat the snack while watching TV? Was it a plot to make her faint while watching Lexx? She already had enough problems on that account, what with MM and Seeberg being the stars. Speaking of her predessesor…
An evil plot hatched in Hypatia’s mind. She would send G.W Bush, no stranger to the art of booze, to England as a good-will ambassador. Yes, if the English learned how good beer was when it was COLD, they would be eternally gratefull and Squishy’s home front would be on her side.
W Bush, needing no excuse to get hammered, was happy to implement her plan. Needless to say, although sceptical at first, the English loved the innovation, and Hypatia was invited to Buckingham Palace to sign a treaty of friendship between the two countries.
Hypatia had little trouble with Senate approval, after bailing out Enron Hypatia had formed a broad bipartisan coalition, and the treaty was ratified.
Meanwhile, fundamentalists raged against the treaty, citing low church attendance in European cities. Smooth as ever, Hypatia offered their leader, Pat Robertson, a spot editing ‘Pink Triangle’, the nation’s largest gay newspaper. Pat R was so suprised that he snapped, and became convinced that he was a glass of orange juice. With this, the fundies lost any mainstream support they had had, and were relegated to a small group of fanatics who occasionally popped up to burn copies of ‘Harry Potter and the Nutcase of Virginia Beach’.
Hypatia used the oppertunity to push a campaign finance bill through Congress, and to make them ratify the Kyoto treaty.
[ 26-01-2002: Message edited by: Hypatia ]
Sticking her nose where it didn’t belong (as usual), Praxilla offered Squish a counter attack to the wild offering of COLD beer to the English…the sacred recipe for ICE!
quote:
Originally posted by Praxilla:
Sticking her nose where it didn’t belong (as usual), Praxilla offered Squish a counter attack to the wild offering of COLD beer to the English…the sacred recipe for ICE!
Ah, the mystery that is warm beer, nope don’t understand it either, could be that it’s damn cold most of the year round that many of my countrymen like it warm and frothy, personally I think it’s gross.
But to be fair, you can find chilled beer/lager, only in a can though and not from a pub…weird.
Squishyquote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
Hypatia leaned back and sighed. She wondered why Squishy rejected the offer, but there was no time to wonder, as Lexx would start in 3 HOURS WHOOOO! [sorry, carried away -Ed]. As she sat down, her aide entered carrying…a BAG OF PRETZELS! ‘A Present’ read the card. Hypatia’s eyes widened, what could it mean? Was it an allusion to her predessesor’s inability to eat the snack while watching TV? Was it a plot to make her faint while watching Lexx? She already had enough problems on that account, what with MM and Seeberg being the stars. Speaking of her predessesor…An evil plot hatched in Hypatia’s mind. She would send G.W Bush, no stranger to the art of booze, to England as a good-will ambassador. Yes, if the English learned how good beer was when it was COLD, they would be eternally gratefull and Squishy’s home front would be on her side.
W Bush, needing no excuse to get hammered, was happy to implement her plan. Needless to say, although sceptical at first, the English loved the innovation, and Hypatia was invited to Buckingham Palace to sign a treaty of friendship between the two countries.
Hypatia had little trouble with Senate approval, after bailing out Enron Hypatia had formed a broad bipartisan coalition, and the treaty was ratified.
Meanwhile, fundamentalists raged against the treaty, citing low church attendance in European cities. Smooth as ever, Hypatia offered their leader, Pat Robertson, a spot editing ‘Pink Triangle’, the nation’s largest gay newspaper. Pat R was so suprised that he snapped, and became convinced that he was a glass of orange juice. With this, the fundies lost any mainstream support they had had, and were relegated to a small group of fanatics who occasionally popped up to burn copies of ‘Harry Potter and the Nutcase of Virginia Beach’.
Hypatia used the oppertunity to push a campaign finance bill through Congress, and to make them ratify the Kyoto treaty.
[ 26-01-2002: Message edited by: Hypatia ]
Squishy is utterly confused, it may be a result of being on the other side of the Atlantic or just being plain ga-ga, but who the hell is Pat Robertson???
And sending GW over to help with the implementation of cold beer is obviously a sinister plot, a precursor to your invasion plans, make beer cold so Americans can feel more at home.
I know what you’re up to President Hypatia,
you may have fooled Queenie, but you haven’t fooled me.
In response, I am sending Anne Robinson to the Whitehouse to put you in your place, she actually came to America to gather supporters for the cause, when the time comes she and her followers will revolt, and if you hadn’t guessed, the Weakest Link is actually a propaganda excercise to break the spirits of your fellow countrymen!!!
Squishy [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
Hypatia leaned back and sighed. She wondered why Squishy rejected the offer, but there was no time to wonder, as Lexx would start in 3 HOURS WHOOOO! [sorry, carried away -Ed]. As she sat down, her aide entered carrying…a BAG OF PRETZELS! ‘A Present’ read the card. Hypatia’s eyes widened, what could it mean? Was it an allusion to her predessesor’s inability to eat the snack while watching TV? Was it a plot to make her faint while watching Lexx? She already had enough problems on that account, what with MM and Seeberg being the stars. Speaking of her predessesor…An evil plot hatched in Hypatia’s mind. She would send G.W Bush, no stranger to the art of booze, to England as a good-will ambassador. Yes, if the English learned how good beer was when it was COLD, they would be eternally gratefull and Squishy’s home front would be on her side.
W Bush, needing no excuse to get hammered, was happy to implement her plan. Needless to say, although sceptical at first, the English loved the innovation, and Hypatia was invited to Buckingham Palace to sign a treaty of friendship between the two countries.
Hypatia had little trouble with Senate approval, after bailing out Enron Hypatia had formed a broad bipartisan coalition, and the treaty was ratified.
Meanwhile, fundamentalists raged against the treaty, citing low church attendance in European cities. Smooth as ever, Hypatia offered their leader, Pat Robertson, a spot editing ‘Pink Triangle’, the nation’s largest gay newspaper. Pat R was so suprised that he snapped, and became convinced that he was a glass of orange juice. With this, the fundies lost any mainstream support they had had, and were relegated to a small group of fanatics who occasionally popped up to burn copies of ‘Harry Potter and the Nutcase of Virginia Beach’.
Hypatia used the oppertunity to push a campaign finance bill through Congress, and to make them ratify the Kyoto treaty.
[ 26-01-2002: Message edited by: Hypatia ]
Squishy is utterly confused, it may be a result of being on the other side of the Atlantic or just being plain ga-ga, but who the hell is Pat Robertson???
And sending GW over to help with the implementation of cold beer is obviously a sinister plot, a precursor to your invasion plans, make beer cold so Americans can feel more at home.
I know what you’re up to President Hypatia,
you may have fooled Queenie, but you haven’t fooled me.
In response, I am sending Anne Robinson to the Whitehouse to put you in your place, she actually came to America to gather supporters for the cause, when the time comes she and her followers will revolt, and if you hadn’t guessed, the Weakest Link is actually a propaganda excercise to break the spirits of your fellow countrymen!!!
It’s a shame that you didn’t try the pretzels, I had them specially made for you by the trained chefs at MI5, and I’m sure that the ones sent to GW were just a bad batch, we will make sure that you enjoy the next ones we send you…Bon Appetite!!!
Squishy [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]Pat Robertson is a cretin, Squishy. He was noted for blaming the September 11 attacks on homosexuals and the ACLU (a civil liberties group).
Hypatia smiled and leaned back as she watched the election results come in. Landslide victory! And as for Squishy, Hypatia appointed him Vice-President and will back him in the next election, when her term limit is up.
And Lexx entered its 6th season and there was peace in the middle east and the Balkans and everybody lived happily ever after.
But where’s the ICE?!
The ice thing is a little joke between my parents and an English couple. Mom would ask if she had any and her hostess would joke, Nope, I’ve lost the recipe.
[ 05-02-2002: Message edited by: Praxilla ]
quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
Pat Robertson is a cretin, Squishy. He was noted for blaming the September 11 attacks on homosexuals and the ACLU (a civil liberties group).Hypatia smiled and leaned back as she watched the election results come in. Landslide victory! And as for Squishy, Hypatia appointed him Vice-President and will back him in the next election, when her term limit is up.
And Lexx entered its 6th season and there was peace in the middle east and the Balkans and everybody lived happily ever after.
Yep, that Pat Robertson fella sounds like a real prat, what is he?, a T.V evangelist or just a raving loony? (ummm…is there really any difference!!!)
There’s always got to be someone that in the middle of tradegy comes out with the biggest load of horse****, just to get themselves a little attention.
And hold your horses on the old Squishy becomes Vice-President (not that I wouldn’t mind), you’ve cut the whole thing short, as I was looking to write more silliness.
You see I can’t become Vice-Prez, as I’ve got my hands full preparing for the impending U.S invasion!!!
Squishy [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]quote:
Originally posted by Praxilla:
But where’s the ICE?!The ice thing is a little joke between my parents and an English couple. Mom would ask if she had any and her hostess would joke, Nope, I’ve lost the recipe.
[ 05-02-2002: Message edited by: Praxilla ]
Well that joke must be doing the rounds in England, as most of the pubs have also lost the recipe!!!
Squishy [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img]He’s a TV evangelist.
Hypatia looked up from her desk.
“Invasion?”
Oh no, a war would be exactly the last thing we need.
*Hypatia paced the room*
“What to do? What to do?”
Remembering her profession before becoming president, she slipped into her monogrammed “Kiss the Geneticist” lab coat, and headed off.
With her knowledge of gene splicing, Hypatia was able to create creatures for defense:
Flying otters, and wallabies that breathe fire. Armored pandas, and a fierce hybrid snapping turtle/llama.
And Hypatia put her army of mutants on standby…
And waited…..
[img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
[i]Eeeee-Tellykelly![/i]
This is quite possibly the most bizarre thread this message board has ever contained. I mean, it’s reads like an online Rifts campaign. [b]How did this whole thing get started?[/b] [img]images/smiles/icon_eek.gif[/img]
Anyway, the other Yün Siph and I are concerned that you may be losing your grip on reality. [img]images/smiles/icon_smile.gif[/img]
[Flamegrape and the Octave Doctors activate the crystal machine and begin the broadcasting of Radio Gnome Invisible…]
[b]Flying Teapot[/b]
Gong[i]If you feel belief hi Pete
I got a story to tell you
Of a band of little green men
From a far away planet
If you want to know about love
Then ask the wee geezer
He can teach you telepathy
He can read your mind backwards
If you try to do the cat in
You can only be a loser
Paranoia never touch him
He’s got ways of laughter
Baby don’t you bring yourself down
Got to catch you up later
If you want to know about love
You can ask the wee geezer
He can teach you telepathy
He can read your mind backwards
If you try to do the cat in
You can only be a loser
Paranoia never touch him
He’s got ways of laughter
Baby don’t you bring yourself down
I’ll catch you up later
Give him a bit of your love you get it back later…
Give him a bit of your love you get it back
later (repeat)…Hear me now from the Invisible Opera Company of Tibet…
Have a cup of tea, have another one, have a cup of tea
Have a cup of tea, have another one, have a cup of tea
Have a cup of tea, have another one, have a cup of tea…High in the sky, what do you see ?
Come down to Earth, a cup of tea
Flying saucer, flying teacup
From outer space, Flying Teapot (repeat)[/i]quote:
Originally posted by Squishy:
Well that joke must be doing the rounds in England, as most of the pubs have also lost the recipe!!!
Squishy [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img]
Yes, yes, it’s a tragedy! The poor British, having to drink warm soda and beer. (I’m still shaving my tongue from the introduction to warm Guinness I got 12 years ago. ;p) So as a mercy, I did my best to reintroduce the recipe. It seems to burn into cinders as soon as the courier reaches the US border. Bummer! Now that I think of it, you might just have to invade if you wish to regain the recipe.
*wonders what Hypatia will think of next
quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
With her knowledge of gene splicing, Hypatia was able to create creatures for defense:Flying otters, and wallabies that breathe fire. Armored pandas, and a fierce hybrid snapping turtle/llama.
And Hypatia put her army of mutants on standby…
And waited…..
Excellent, this is just what I need. I’ll prepare the first offensive, and when the Squish Liberation Army comes to retaliate, the mutant army will be ther to stop him and protect me. mu-wha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Now lets see where that transmission tower?…
—————————–
Sorry guys, been busy recently.
And how the hell can anyone drink something not ice cold. Hot, luke warm, room temp, its all undrinkable to me. I’m not talking just beer, I mean water, soft drinks, everythingI hear that the Australians were the first ones to use artificially-created ice. What did they use it for? To keep their beer cold! True story!
God save the Aussies!
[img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img]Squish.. Hypatia.. truelky twisted humour you guys have.. I LOVE IT!! i believe you have a possible series or novel waiting in the wings.. [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img]
What you preparing for this invasion Squish.. Triple-Armoured Fire-Breathing Wilderbeest? [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
[ 07-02-2002: Message edited by: LoneGunMan ]
quote[quote]Anyway, the other Yün Siph and I are concerned that you may be losing your grip on reality. [/quote]
Maybe? Losing? DalekTek, I certainly lost my grip on my reality looooong ago. [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
He’s a TV evangelist.
*Squishy(He just had to be didn’t he!, personally I think they are as mad as the mad mullah’s)Hypatia looked up from her desk.
(…to see Squishy dancing like Michael Jackson and singing the Macarana!!!)
“Invasion?”
(…well more like a mass immigration)Oh no, a war would be exactly the last thing we need.(…agreed, but it would be a fun war involving the use of some tactical warheads (pillows) and a heavy spatering of
mind-bending marshmallows).*Hypatia paced the room*
(…whilst trying avoid Squishy pretending to be Rocky Balboa and dancing to the theme of Rocky)“What to do? What to do?”
(Turning off the stereo in the oval office might be an idea)Remembering her profession before becoming president, she slipped into her monogrammed “Kiss the Geneticist” lab coat, and headed off.
(…while Squishy donned his Superman outfit and went off to visit Clinton in the loony bin)With her knowledge of gene splicing, Hypatia was able to create creatures for defense:
(Squishy is way ahead of you here)Flying otters, and wallabies that breathe fire. Armored pandas, and a fierce hybrid snapping turtle/llama.
(America isn’t the only place with superheros ya know, you may have Batman and Spiderman, but we have Llamaman and Pigboy, they will protect us (they have special equipment that sprays warm beer over any adversary!!!))
And we have Teenage Mutant Squirrels and Mighty Morphin Power Beavers!!!And Hypatia put her army of mutants on standby…
(And Squishy started cloning himself, so that there would be Cluster Lizard Stormtroopers at his disposal)And waited…..
(Thank god your waiting, I haven’t even trained these bleedin’ cluster lizards yet!!!)[img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
Squishy [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img]
We have lost an eternity of young men.
We have gained a brief moment of hero’s.I have seen the end results of such things.
I do not wish to ever see the beginning of
these such things again.Nightmares are the fire in which my torment
never ceases.
Nightmares are where I see the beginnings
and endings of all things.All in all I see how it has all come to nothing
but some how I think it must mean something.Yaaaaaaaa! The battle of the clusterlizards and battle-wallabies! Whoo!
But what Squishy didn’t know was that Hypatia had cloned an army of politicians. With no brains for the clusterlizards to eat, and dripping so much slime that they did not seem appatizing, the army of politicians surrounded Squishy’s clusterlizard army. The untrained clusterlizards would be forced to fight, just as a squadron of flying firebreathing rabbits attacked from the sky.
Back in the Oval Office, Hypatia and Squishy watched the carnage as Hypatia made plans to install a giant moonwalk in place of the rose garden.
quote:
Originally posted by Praxilla:
Yes, yes, it’s a tragedy! The poor British, having to drink warm soda and beer. (I’m still shaving my tongue from the introduction to warm Guinness I got 12 years ago. ;p) So as a mercy, I did my best to reintroduce the recipe. It seems to burn into cinders as soon as the courier reaches the US border. Bummer! Now that I think of it, you might just have to invade if you wish to regain the recipe.
*wonders what Hypatia will think of next
It’s an old wives tale over here, the myth of the cold bruski, many talk about it in pubs and clubs, but those who speak of it are burned at the stake!!!
I believe the a Roman witch cursed this country, Ice cannot survive when it reaches the shores of England.
Other’s believe it’s a government conspiracy, there is some credence to that, as I swear I’ve seen pub landlords put pints of beer in the microwave before serving it.
I knew you Americans get up to some weird things…but shaving your tongue, I bet it’s a national sport event now, second only to the superbowl!!!
Squishy [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img]quote:
Originally posted by Squishy:
I knew you Americans get up to some weird things…but shaving your tongue, I bet it’s a national sport event now, second only to the superbowl!!!
Squishy [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img]
Shaveing tongues, here? Not true but I do believe French shave there or am I wrong?
-SM
quote:
Originally posted by LoneGunMan:
Squish.. Hypatia.. truelky twisted humour you guys have.. I LOVE IT!! i believe you have a possible series or novel waiting in the wings.. [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img]What you preparing for this invasion Squish.. Triple-Armoured Fire-Breathing Wilderbeest? [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
[ 07-02-2002: Message edited by: LoneGunMan ]
Well, as your from the U.K, I guess I can tell you (but don’t tell those sneaky Americans, as they will no doubt try to nick it!!!).
We have fooled them into believing that an army of untrained cluster lizards are to be used, but in reality they have been trained by a secret SAS brigade of killer shrews, these shrew are armed to the teeth, and carry mini Hellfire and Harpoon launchers!!!
Plus we have on standby a garrison of lethal gerbils that can fly and launch marmite bombs (that will at least do harmful damage to half of their army)…rest assured, they have two hope’s…Bob Hope and no hope!!!
Squishy [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img]quote:
Originally posted by Headgehog:
Excellent, this is just what I need. I’ll prepare the first offensive, and when the Squish Liberation Army comes to retaliate, the mutant army will be ther to stop him and protect me. mu-wha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Now lets see where that transmission tower?…
—————————–
Sorry guys, been busy recently.
And how the hell can anyone drink something not ice cold. Hot, luke warm, room temp, its all undrinkable to me. I’m not talking just beer, I mean water, soft drinks, everything
Well tea and coffee tastes crap when it’s coffee…ooops, forgot you even drink that cold. And it’s odd you should mention that, as I just need to go and turn the oven off, I think the coke casserole is done!!!
Well, Well, Well, the devious Headgehog re-appears, well Headgy, in your absence Hypatia has risen to power and has appointed me Vice-Prez (still don’t know why, especially when I’ll stab her in the back, first chance I get!!!)
And don’t beleive that this supposed mutant army will protect you, sure fire breathing rabbits are a thing of concern, but my hard-assed cluster lizards will be serving them up in a pie with some nice warm beer, and they will be having a good laugh at the pathetic army your Prez has mustered.
The Squish Liberation Army may be small in comparison, but Prez Hypatia has overlooked one small detail, and that is that they know Monty Python jokes and more importantly the funniest joke in history…and believe me it does kill.
And what’s worse is that they carry small mp3 players with enhanced loudspeakers, with these come cd’s of the worst bands ever, Hear’say and Steps…your troops will be screaming for them to stop!!!
Oh and…BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!
Squishy [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_smile.gif[/img]quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
Yaaaaaaaa! The battle of the clusterlizards and battle-wallabies! Whoo!But what Squishy didn’t know was that Hypatia had cloned an army of politicians. With no brains for the clusterlizards to eat, and dripping so much slime that they did not seem appatizing, the army of politicians surrounded Squishy’s clusterlizard army. The untrained clusterlizards would be forced to fight, just as a squadron of flying firebreathing rabbits attacked from the sky.
Back in the Oval Office, Hypatia and Squishy watched the carnage as Hypatia made plans to install a giant moonwalk in place of the rose garden.
An army of politicians…Nooooooooooooooo, so the gloves are off then heh, well then I must fight fire with fire.
An army of T.V evangelists should ward off that threat!!!, strapped to their chests will be photo’s of Bill Clinton naked, if that doesn’t stop them nothing will.
Oh, and that’s a lovely gesture installing a moonwalk in the rose garden, much more room than the oval office…thank you vey much, but you’re still gonna pay!!!
Squishy [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
Squishy, Squishy he’s our man, if he can’t stop them no one can…Go Squishy!!!
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