Puns to start your week off right.
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A good pun is its own reword.
Energizer Bunny arrested – charged with battery.
A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.
My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it’s just kiln time.
Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating – always use condiments.
I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me
the axe.If electricity comes from electrons… does that mean that morality
comes from morons?A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Banning the bra was a big flop.
Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
bwa hahahaha! MORE, MORE! ENCORE!
Here’s some of mine;
Being a rear admiral is a pain in the butt.Nuns; Kick the habit.
Eunuchs unite; you have nothing to lose.
She was only a horsegirl, but all the horse manure. (Note; think about how you say the last two words!)
And one from Spaceballs; “Don’t you think you’re taking this too literally?” “He said comb the desert. I’m combing it.” Next scene; men with giant combs raking the desert.
Headline; “Workers Strike; Only A Skeleton Crew At Graveyard.”
Part of article; ‘Hares with a deadly, contagious disease have been reported missing from a hare farm. Police are now combing the area.’
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very punny guys!!! LOL
[img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]Have you got any more, dgrequeen? You know any, Mary Beth? Or do I go get my book? (Smiles evilly) [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
[i][b]”GET THEE TO A PUNNERY![/b][/i]
[img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
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