Something Fun for Mr. Pet and the Outsourced Techs
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This is something that was sent to one of my lists. As soon as I saw it, I thought of Mr. Pet.
The Unfortunate Side of Outsourcing
Written by Doc Farmer
Wednesday, June 23, 2004Everybody’s talking these days about the dangers and ”crisis” of outsourcing jobs overseas. Of course, OUTsourcing actually generates more INsourcing, hence a positive result for our economy. But you’ll never hear that from the mainstream media commentators, unless of course they’re talking about a certain
ketchup manufacturer…However, there’s a part of outsourcing that people rarely speak of openly, but which can have devastating social consequences.
Recently, IBM Global Services decided to outsource to India 60 Information Technology (IT) jobs from the Fort Wayne, Indiana, job market. This will be done to streamline support and, of course, to save money for Lincoln National Life Insurance Company, my very first employer. As I understand it, none of the people whose jobs have been ”’outsourced” will actually be fired. They will, instead, be absorbed into the company, doing other jobs.
Hence the devastating social consequences.
You see, these are IT people we’re talking about here. They’re not like normal people at all. Before any of you IT people start sending me threatening e-mail messages in Klingon, I’m an IT guy myself. Have been for close to three decades. I know from whence I speak.
IT people watch ”Dune” a lot. We get into heated arguments over which is better–the David Lynch version or the SciFi Channel version. We don’t actually get into fist fights over it, though. More
like sissy-slapping fights. It’s rather embarrassing to watch, unless you’ve got money on the outcome.IT people also memorize Star Trek. Every version. Original Series, Next Gen, DS9, Voyager, Enterprise, and the movies. We can tell you how warp drive works–in mind-numbing detail. For hours and hours on end. Without noticing that the objects of our lecture (i.e. normal people) are being bored into a coma.
IT people listen to techno, despite the fact that it was never cool in the first place. IT people have acne well into our 40s. IT people set up their Windows effects to use themes, sounds, and images from Babylon 5, Farscape, and the Hot Babes of CNBC.
IT people can’t do football pools or baseball pools very well, because we have absolutely no idea how these games are played. We know three-dimensional chess, Fizbin, Qatisqat, Parisi’s Squares and Triad, but basketball is only interesting to us if played by topless Vulcan chicks. Oh, yeah, and you’ll note
we still use ”chicks” as an honorific for the ladies. But only because we know they’ll never hear us use it. Because ladies won’t get within spitting distance of us if at all possible. For us, sexual harassment is when a marginally passable female walks by one of our team and doesn’t throw up. That’s Geek-Speak for a marriage proposal.IT people live in their own little world. Moreover, it’s a nice place, for the greater part. Flashing lights, technobabble, database subschemas, code reviews, and the smell of tin-core solder and flat Mr. Pibb. We dream in hexadecimal. We tell jokes in binary (which takes a LONG time). We have long and drawn out debates about the proper location of the comma, the nesting of the code, how to fancy up the comment boxes, or how to rewire a Cray supercomputer with paperclips and leftover pizza. IT people think ”X-Files” is a documentary.
Now, consider putting a group of 60 of these geeks, nerds, and social wieners into a normal office environment. Picture it in your mind, if you would. Not a pretty picture, eh? Geeks invading your
cubicle space with Far Side cartoons that crowd out your beloved Dilbert. Nerds hanging around the coffee machine, calling it Raktajino and conversing in Minbari.Now, IT people have a much-needed place in our society, so I’m not dissing them out of hand. I’m simply recognizing the truth about our particular subgenus. Sure, we’re about as socially adept as a bowl of grits, but we do good work. IT people keep the information superhighway humming. We keep your networks buzzing. We fix your broken hardware, upgrade your sagging software, and save you from the ”Blue Screen of Death.” We ask only that we be allowed to do our work, be given regular doses of black coffee and Krispy Kremes, and collect our Stargate SG-1 memorabilia in peace.
But it’s kinda hard to do that when we’re forced to do–ick!–normal work.
So you mighty potentates of the boardrooms, you CEOs bent on squeezing a penny so hard that poor george’s eyes pop out, spare a thought for us poor IT people before you ship our jobs off to Never-Never-Land. You might save a little bit of money by sending IT jobs overseas. But you’ll be causing mountains of aggravation for your IT people, and fear into the hearts of your normal staff as well.
One more thing to consider. India has an ancient and beautiful culture. Do you really want to turn those poor, innocent, unsuspecting folks into IT people?
Dont forget the other half of the company!!! We IT people call them “Users” that s right “Users are losers” or in short “Losers”.
[quote]IT people watch ”Dune” a lot. We get into heated arguments over which is better–the David Lynch version or the SciFi Channel version. [/quote]
Or which details of the new books don’t match details of the old books… If I didn’t know better, I’d swear this was written by Mr. Pet. 😀
(Oh! And how much of the scenery in Lord of the Rings was stolen from Everquest, and how much scenery from Everquest was stolen from Tolkien and Stargate. Never ending cycle.)
He appears to have missed the caffiene-molecule T-shirt, which, now that Mr. Pet is in the geriatric drug-dealing business, has been replaced with, “No, I will not fix your computer.”
Both obtained [url=http://www.thinkgeek.com/]here[/url], I believe, which is in his shopping bookmarks under “software”. 😆
00111000
00110011Nice Geeky site. Cool geek gear.
A few of you may be clueing into the fact that outsourcing bugs me…. so it was a relief to find something that touched on the lighter side of the subject.
Although, I think the whole thing is due to come to a crashing halt here soon.
When they were just outsourcing the working slobs in the factory, no one cared…. If we shut down all the factories, the air quality will improve (true and much cheaper than those pesky pollution control devices) and Walmarts will be able to get cheaper goods.
When they out sourced the call centers no one cared…. The people working there are marginal and they really don’t count do they?
Now, when they started cutting into your midlevel clerks…. people started to fuss a bit. But they were told, go back to school and re-train. They are doing so, but they are screaming every step of the way.
Now, we have your high dollar people being affected… Engineers, Doctors, Lead Programmers and the like. You know, the people the clerkly ones were suppose to train to be. Anyhow, these high dollar talent are not people who take beng shuttled aside lightly. They are starting to growl, and not being entirely stupid they are forming coalitions with the other groups.
When programmers approach labor unions, I think either a bright new day or Armageddon is approaching. What do you think? 😀
Tell you what, I’ve been watching GVSE, and I think Armageddon already started:
[img]http://petserrano.com/temp/GWB_sign.gif[/img]
😈 (Now, you REALLY have to be a geek to think THIS is funny!)
:83:That whole story was cool and at the same time difficult to read, I’m gonna copy it and put in on the intranet at work. It’s report day tomorrow so us outsourced IT geeks need something comforting to relate to 🙂
[quote=”thefrey”]Nice Geeky site. Cool geek gear.
A few of you may be clueing into the fact that outsourcing bugs me…. [/quote]Hmm… Now I’m really worried! I work for EDS :/
You still like me sweety … don’t you?!
*theFrey makes note* Next year when the Evil Empire is run out of town on a rail…. put in a good word for Tony. 🙂
Tony, do you mean to tell me that EDS does no work for UK companies? 😕
[quote]IT people watch ”Dune” a lot. We get into heated arguments over which is better–the David Lynch version or the SciFi Channel version. [/quote]
I wasn’t aware that anyone has actually argued that Lynch’s Dune is the better one. 😈
[quote=”pet”]Or which details of the new books don’t match details of the old books…[/quote]
Don’t forget, the frequent discussing about how they’re just pulling stuff out of their arse, and mocking the explanations they give on the FAQs for the descrepencies.[quote=”thefrey”]Tony, do you mean to tell me that EDS does no work for UK companies?[/quote]
Is it still considering outsourcing when a company opens up another branch to take care of bussiness in that respective region of the world?No. For instance…. Mobil Oil has business interests in India. That their offices in India handle that stuff is fine.
That they also ship my credit info across the world so that lower priced workers can service my US account is not fine. Ask Mobile and they will tell you they are just consolidating their service centers.
So when you say, ah, Question, so you also have a gas credit business in India also… their answer is ‘NO.’ Question, then what exactly do you do in India that ties into credit card servicing…. their answer is ‘nothing really.’ Question, so exactly what else do these call centers service besides the US market… their answer umm, ‘none I guess.’ <<—- actual conversation with a Mobil escalation supervisor who IS in the US.
[url]http://www.workingamerica.org/[/url]
Locate outsourcing companies by location, industry or company name. Interesting…. apparently Lou Dobbs is mentioned a more than a few times as a info source.
I went to the site, but they didn’t have any information on outsourced engineering jobs. I know it’s designed around blue collar jobs, but I’m still nervous about getting outsourced a year after I graduate. 😥 And just need a little statically evidence one way or another to calm some worries.
I don’t know how this applies to other companies, but at our company they outsource engineers by telling them they have to move to Singapore. If they’re not interested, they are replaced with people who are. Soooo, actually they are exporting engineers there, not hiring locally. 😕
Exporting engineers? I doubt it. It is one thing to have to relocate from one state to another, or even one side of the country to the other. But another country? Very few people will up and move their family to a foreign country.
Therefore, you get to say, well this was a relocation and they were welcome to come if they like. Owww, how wonderful for us, since we did not lay off this person or fire them, we don’t have to pay severance or unemployment insurance. After all, it is not OUR fault they don’t want to move their family to an asian rim country.
We are not exporting their job, they were welcome to trust their family’s future that we would do right by them in a country with even less labor laws that the US has. Shame about those kids in high school trying to get ready for college. If they were really worried about them staying on track scholastically, they could have boarded them with a family member or friend. May we have our taxes back now, since we are now a foreign based company?
[size=18][b]If Republicans don’t send your job overseas, they’ll send your kids. [/b][/size]
[url]http://www.tigereyedesign.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TED&Product_Code=SBT12600[/url]
[img]http://www.tvdance.com/bush-gore/images/1anew.gif[/img][img]http://www.tvdance.com/bush-gore/images/3anew.gif[/img][img]http://www.tvdance.com/bush-gore/images/22anew.gif[/img][img]http://www.tvdance.com/bush/4a.gif[/img]
Dunno why I’m posting these. Just makes me laugh for some reason
[quote=”LexxLurker”][img]http://www.tvdance.com/bush-gore/images/1anew.gif[/img][img]http://www.tvdance.com/bush-gore/images/3anew.gif[/img][img]http://www.tvdance.com/bush-gore/images/22anew.gif[/img][img]http://www.tvdance.com/bush/4a.gif[/img]
Dunno why I’m posting these. Just makes me laugh for some reason[/quote]
😆 , Funny, LexxLurker,
That made my day; that’s so funny, that I may show my parents & see what they’re reaction is.Sci-Fi Fan to Sci-Fi Fan,
Jhevz 🙄*gets on soapbox*
I would like to say that the outsourcing/ exporting does bug me, but what is really on my mind right now as a lifelong anti-federalist is that the SS are arresting people for displaying non-violent T-shirts or bumperstickers (Patriot Act Section 802: it is considered a terrorist act to try to change public opinion) and that the search warrant has been permanently abolished (Patriot Act Section 213 and 215 and the defeat of Freedom to Read HR4574). Thank you for your time. 👿
Pet
If anyone is interested in the notes that G.W.B was taking during the debate, I got a copy [url=http://www.thatsuncalledfor.com/debate_notes/]here[/url]
Too too funny. 🙂 Disrespectful yet….. most likely true.
Something I picked off one of our web sites.
[quote]The U.S.-China Economic and Security Review Commission reported on October 15 that the proportions of union jobs being moved to Mexico and China increased dramatically since 2001.
The report noted that in 2001, 14 percent of companies that moved production and jobs to China were unionized, but that figure rose to 29 percent in 2004. Meanwhile, the proportion of jobs at unionized facilities that moved jobs to Mexico rose from 26 percent three years ago to 44 percent this year.
Overall, the report said 39 percent of the jobs sent overseas in 2004 have been union jobs. Around 8 percent of private sector workers are union members.
In all, U.S. employers will shift an estimated 406,000 to Mexico, China and other foreign countries in 2004, about double the number three years ago, when 204,000 jobs were moved to foreign countries, the report said.
The report said that 140,000 jobs will be shifted to Mexico this year and as many as 99,000 will go to China in 20204, compared to 85,000 to each country in 2001. The Midwest lost the most jobs to offshoring — 18,398, with Illinois losing more jobs than any other state, with nearly all its 7,555 jobs going to Mexico, the report added. The Northeast lost 7,223.
The report can be seen at [url]http://www.uscc.gov/researchreports/2004/cornell_u_mass_report.pdf[/url]
[/quote]A little something I whipped up for the Election Tuesday
[img]http://prodtn.cafepress.com/nocache/4/14321924_F_tn.jpg[/img]
The little print on the bottom says [quote]What? Are we behind on our Dues again? Where are those United Nations Election Monitors when you need them![/quote]
Large Image [url]http://www.thefrey.com/images/OneNation.png[/url]
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