Xevivor spoiler for Squish and others
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For some reason Prince starts a t.v show where 10 guys get to compete for a night with Xev on an island. He gets 790 to send Xev and Stan down to the island, Stan will be a wild card contestent,790 fixing things so that Stan is chosen, Xev dosen’t know about any of it. 790 sends the carrot things(it turns out that they are some sort of aliens checking out earth) to the island to kill Stan and Xev.
Xev meets Schlemmi/FiFi who is obsessed with the idea that he might be gay and spends half his time talking to New-Age shrinks!”I know you from two different lives. You were evil and died in both of them!” she says. But she’s more interested in the contestents, until an extra one is picked Stan,of course. He yells “I’m a winner and runs past Fifi “Iknow you from before as Schlemmi and Fifi. You’re evil!” Schlemmi/Fifi observes that “Those two must have been sucking off the same bong”. Xev is quite ****ed when she sees Stan.
Xev wears a costume kinda like her cluster lizard one, only it has blue fake fur and is not anywhere near as interesting or origenal or sexy or nice.
Velma(an scientist working for Dr.Longbore-the physicist who warned us about the Higgs boson-it could be Longbohr)shows up on Lexx’s screen during 790’s ‘together time’ and tells Kai that they have more info on the Divine Shadow type and invites him down. Poor Velma has definitly fallen for Kai.
I’ll post the rest in the morning, I’ll just let you know that all the men turn into horrible zombies and Xev is left unsatisfied.
P.S Whats a wanker? I’ve never heard the tern in the U.S.Kai goes back to Texas,where he watches a bit of Xevivor.
On the show, the first task is to get out of a cage and be first to find a endangered baby bird tied to a balloon. Stan is stuck in the cage until he is let out by a Xevivor crew member. He wanders around until he hears somthing(it is one of the beefcakes being attacked by carrots, but Stan dosen’t see). He does notice the bird and takes it back to Xev,who bites it’s head of and does her cluster lizard growl.
Back with Dr.Longbohr, Kai is watching a old documentery about Transelvania. Velma explains that she’s waited her whole life for Kai(somthing along those lines)and starts kissing him. Kai dosen’t even give his ‘The dead do not become aroused’ speech, he just keeps one eye on the film. Until he sees somthing that interests him (on the film, of course), picks Velma up and walks closer to the screen. He explains that he wants to learn more, especially about vampires and puts her down. Velma runs off to prepare screen captures and get a book about vampires.
Back on the island,the next task is for the studs is to make it(in teams)thru an obsticle course with Xev’s underwear. Of course Stan falls into a puddle and his team walks away in disgust. They are attacked by the carrots and Stan(he dosen’t know)is left to wander back to camp. Back at camp, Fifi asks Stan about what he(Schlemmi/Fifi) was like in his previous lives. Stan explains that he was evil and a killer, but Fifi wants to know if he was gay.”Gay? Whats gay?” asks Stan.”You know,gay. Sombody who likes men,in a sexual way” Stan dosen’t think he was (ignoring the obvious line that in one life Schlemmi was attracted to a robot head, and Fifi was a bit of a sadist, so he shouldn’t worry about being gay. But I guess that only 790 knew about the robot head fetish). Shlemmi/Fifi has asked the same question of Xev, and gotten the same answer.Everybody votes Stan off the island, but 790 fixes the vote so that he stays.
In Texas, Kai is reading about a vampire.”The drinker of blood, slayer of man, from earth or somwhere other” He wants to watch the movie again. Velma puts it on and tries to do some sort of nerdy striptease(taking off her oversweater). She starts kissing Kai”I don’t know much about vampires, but you can suck my blood anytime” “The dead do not normally suck blood” “Niether do the living”. But Kai gets up and asks to see part of the movie closup and on paper. It shows a hooded figure in a white(?) robe. Velma is getting the transfer while kissing Kai when 790 cuts in on a computer “Murder the bespeckled tramp!” “I will not do that” “Kai, I have a confession to make. I sent Stan and Xev to that island so that they would be killed by the evil alien probes”. So Kai heads for the island, telling Stan and Xev that they are in danger.
Stan and Xev are being chased by the carrots and the studs, who the carrots have turned into gory zombies. They hide, but 790 tells the carrots to use the video moniters to find them. Xev runs into Stan, and they head to the beach to swin for safety. Stan can’t swim, but Xev can, she thinks (did the holograms teach her?)
They get to the beach, but the zombies and the carrots are alrady there. Just when it seems all hope is lost, a couple on a nearby boat start to put carrots in a blender.”Bad ship, bad ship” intone the zombies and head towards it,but the flying carrots get there first.
Kai shows up in a moth and they fly away, Kai explaining that he wants to go to Translyvania, to meet somone “Perhaps fate would have me meet”-Sounds like HDS and the prophecy, dosen’t it? Oh, and the carrots turned Shlemmi/Fifi(“I have do not trespass tattoed on my rear”) into a zombie.“Windy words”-Kai in Twilight
Was the crew member who let Stan out of the cage Patricia Zentilli (Laleen/Bunny)?
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Lee P. Sherman, code name DalekTek790
Whovian, Froudian, Lexxian, etc.
quote:
Originally posted by DalekTek790:
[b]Was the crew member who let Stan out of the cage Patricia Zentilli (Laleen/Bunny)?[/b]
No.
–Aleck
Velma? I thought Walt said “Tina”.
Oh well, I’ll check again Sunday night. Not like you could make out the names durring either showing last nite [img]http://www.sadgeezer.com/ubb/frown.gif[/img]
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“The best defense is a strong offense.. and I intend to start offending right now.”
-James T. KirkX; Just one more stupid thing SciFi does with Lexx.
I want to know if he’s Longbore or Longbohr, because there was a physisist named Niehls Bohr (he didn’t work on the Higgs boson tho)aXXually I tape it on Sundays when you can see the credits so I’ll check about the Dr. Longbore thing.
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“The best defense is a strong offense.. and I intend to start offending right now.”
-James T. KirkSquish; it’s Tina not Velma, and Longbore not Longbohr. Sorry.
Thanks XWhen Tina climbed on top of Kai did I just catch a hint of arousal in him?? Watch his face closely – me thinks soooooo….
Can’t speak for the dead man, but I know I was aroused [img]http://www.sadgeezer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif[/img]
Your welcome, Hypatia [img]http://www.sadgeezer.com/ubb/smile.gif[/img]
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“The best defense is a strong offense.. and I intend to start offending right now.”
-James T. Kirk
quote:
Originally posted by X:
[b]Can’t speak for the dead man, but I know I was aroused [img]http://www.sadgeezer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif[/img][/b]
[img]http://www.sadgeezer.com/ubb/cool.gif[/img] voyeur! (me too, but probably aroused for different reasons [img]http://www.sadgeezer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif[/img] )
Excellent read up Hypatia, why is 790 trying to kill Stan and Xev, I know he’s only got eyes for the dead guy, but he’s never really gone that far.
God, I’m missing out on so much at the moment, I bloody hate it, that’s it I’m catching the next boat over, do you think they have Sci-Fi in the dentention centers?
BTW, wanker (putting it politely) is extreme slang for someone who jerks off, and refers to them as being sad…I’m really surprised you hadn’t heard that before, get Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels out on vid…you’ll learn a lot!!!
It’s been a bit quiet round here lately, where have you all been?
Again thanx for the update…kepp em coming dude,
Cheers,
Squishy——————
SquishySquish; Maybe the thought of losing Kai in Beach and Heaven and Hell has further warped 790.
At least you’re not missing out on one thing; Xev’s new outfit.
I’ve mentioned this before, but I just love the thought that 790 might have finally met his match in Kai’s new ‘girlfriend'(she’s a computer geek)
P.S: I won’t be able to post a review for the next ep until late next sunday.
quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
[b]Squish; Maybe the thought of losing Kai in Beach and Heaven and Hell has further warped 790.At least you’re not missing out on one thing; Xev’s new outfit.
I’ve mentioned this before, but I just love the thought that 790 might have finally met his match in Kai’s new ‘girlfriend'(she’s a computer geek)
P.S: I won’t be able to post a review for the next ep until late next sunday.[/b]
Hypatia, that’s cool about next sunday, do it whenever you can matey.
It’s Xev’s new garment that bad, has she like got fake fur on?, but instead of dead minxs drapped round her neck, a couple of small cluster lizards.
Heh, the way fashion goes nowadays you could probably create something like that and it would be the talk of the catwalks!!!
790 against a computer geek, 790 would put her in her place in under three words, somebody should find Kai a nice Zombie to settle down with, and he’d be used to having somebody around with a fetish for brains, remember his was the loving mother of a certain cute little cluster lizard!!!——————
Squishy
quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
[b]Squish; it’s Tina not Velma, and Longbore not Longbohr. Sorry.
Thanks X[/b]
Don’t worry Hypatia, Velma seems to be the unoffical nick given to this charater. It fits her, and instantly give a visual refrence to people who haven’t seen the episodes.
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thefrey
Creator of the Kai Klone Doll and the Kai Kaption Screensavers [url=http://members.home.net/thefrey/]http://members.home.net/thefrey/[/url]
quote:
Originally posted by thefrey:
[b] Don’t worry Hypatia, Velma seems to be the unoffical nick given to this charater. It fits her, and instantly give a visual refrence to people who haven’t seen the episodes.[/b]
Oh as if… Velma goes completely blind when she loses her glasses and she usually fins them bumbling around at the feet of the monster. Heaven forbid she cracks a lense and thinX the monster is one of the gang.
Tina on the other hand is a goddess with black, not orange, hair which she usually wears in pigtails and not some helmet-shaped hair don’t Not to mention that Velma was short and looked a little chunky.
And from now on Kai will be reffered to as “Edward Scissor Hands” It fits him, and instantly gives a visual refrence to people who haven’t seen the episodes. [img]http://www.sadgeezer.com/ubb/tongue.gif[/img]
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“The best defense is a strong offense.. and I intend to start offending right now.”
-James T. Kirk
quote:
Originally posted by Squish:
[b] It’s Xev’s new garment that bad, has she like got fake fur on?, but instead of dead minxs drapped round her neck, a couple of small cluster lizards.[/b]
Well, the hairdresser in the episode did accuse the wardrobe guy of making her look like a poodle. Xenia is very beautiful, but this outfit must be burned. [img]http://www.sadgeezer.com/ubb/wink.gif[/img]
Not only does it have fake fur, but it’s nasty blue fake fur, like a funky lowrider seatcover. [img]http://www.sadgeezer.com/ubb/eek.gif[/img]
Kali
quote:
Originally posted by Kali:
[b] Well, the hairdresser in the episode did accuse the wardrobe guy of making her look like a poodle. Xenia is very beautiful, but this outfit must be burned. [img]http://www.sadgeezer.com/ubb/wink.gif[/img]Not only does it have fake fur, but it’s nasty blue fake fur, like a funky lowrider seatcover. [img]http://www.sadgeezer.com/ubb/eek.gif[/img]
LOL and while their at it, they should burn Stan’s jumpsuit, he’s been wearing it for what 4000 odd years now, must be starting to smell a bit!!!
It’s time Stan got some nice threads, mind you Stan would probably end looking like a Las Vegas casino owner or a member of the mafia!!!Kali
[/b]
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SquishySquish; What I meant about Tina being a match for 790 is that she could change his love-slave programming and make him fall in love with someone besides Kai. But who?
Does 790 run on HTML?
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Hypatia:
[B]Squish; What I meant about Tina being a match for 790 is that she could change his love-slave programming and make him fall in love with someone besides Kai. But who?Does 790 run on HTML?
Nah, his programming is based around Win2000, designed to **** you off every time you use it!!!
Besides, 790’s got a lump of brain in him, Velma couldn’t reprogramme that.
If she could, she could be really nasty and programme him to love Stan!!!——————
Squishy
quote:
Originally posted by Squish:
[b][QUOTE]Originally posted by Hypatia:
[B]Squish; What I meant about Tina being a match for 790 is that she could change his love-slave programming and make him fall in love with someone besides Kai. But who?Does 790 run on HTML?
Nah, his programming is based around Win2000, designed to **** you off every time you use it!!!
Besides, 790’s got a lump of brain in him, Velma couldn’t reprogramme that.
If she could, she could be really nasty and programme him to love Stan!!![/b]
I’m sure Edward wouldn’t mind.
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“The best defense is a strong offense.. and I intend to start offending right now.”
-James T. KirkSquish; 790 useing Windows 2000 would explain alot about him.
She could always throw him off the bridge.
I wish I could do that to my computer, the Gigerotta of files.
quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
[b]Squish; 790 useing Windows 2000 would explain alot about him.She could always throw him off the bridge.
I wish I could do that to my computer, the Gigerotta of files. [/b]
Throwing 790 of a bridge would take too much fun out of it, where’s the challenge, personally if it was me I’d want 790 to suffer first. Besides he get’s thrown off the bridge of the Lexx with alarming regularity!!!, and the drop there is probably deeper than any bridge on Earth.
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Squishy
quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
[b]Squish; 790 useing Windows 2000 would explain alot about him.She could always throw him off the bridge.
I wish I could do that to my computer, the Gigerotta of files. [/b]
Don’t you guys mean Windows Millenium Edition? Windows 2000 is NT 5, it aXXually worX [img]http://www.sadgeezer.com/ubb/wink.gif[/img]
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“The best defense is a strong offense.. and I intend to start offending right now.”
-James T. Kirk
quote:
Originally posted by Squish:
[b]Nah, his programming is based around Win2000, designed to **** you off every time you use it!!![/b]
Yeah, and I bet 791 was a Mac. [img]http://www.sadgeezer.com/ubb/smile.gif[/img]
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“Exterminate!” -Dalek warrior, [i]The Daleks[/i]: Episode 4-[i]The Ambush[/i]
“Feel the power of the dark Crystal!” -skekTek the Scientist, [i]The Dark Crystal[/i]
“I will love you forever!” -drone #790, [i]Lexx 1.1: I Worship His Shadow[/i]
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