CREEPY!!!!!!!
Living in the UK, we don’t have to worry too much about bugs the size of double decker buses (which is fine by me), or venemous creepy crawlies (also surprisingly happy about this). In fact the most dangerous bug over here is probably a nasty cough. So I apologise if this anecdote pales into insignificance when compaired to the brushes with death and and tales of ‘eugh’ above.
I was walking into Crayford back in my ‘yoof’, down the high street (unless you know Crayford, that high street bit was meaningless. Just look on it as texture to this tale). Anyone who does know Crayford at all will realise how unpleasent this tale has already got. It gets worse. So there I was walking into the high street on a warm sunny day. The sky was blue, the clouds white and fluffy, when I became aware of a grey swirling haze coming down the high street. Not a little swirling haze, it filled the bloody high street. I was so busy trying to work out what the hell it was that I completely failed to notice the pedestrians fleeing in varying states of distress. As I got closer to it, or it got closer to me my curiosity grew. Sadly it grew to a point that I completely lost all common sense and the idea of seeking cover didn’t even occur to me.
The next thing I knew I was engulfed by the biggest swarm of flying ants I had ever seen. Just to give you a sense of scale and the sheer impact of this sight… The usual scenario over here is 20 – 30 flying ants, no more than 1cm long crawl out from under your patio, and all people gathered go into fits and start shrieking about the pestilence of biblical proportions that is errupting all around them. With me so far? 20 – 30 flying ants = quite a lot.
Now picture the scene back in Crayford high street. The whole place filled with flying ants. There must have been several hundred thousand of them. And muggins here, walked straight into them and didn’t even think to nip into a shop! I never claimed to be bright. Flying ants going up your nose is not a fun party trick!!!
That evenings shower revield ants from places ants really shouldn’t be. Don’t dwell on that image. It’s not condusive to a balanced state of mind.