Flame, i don’t really want anything other than what you want – which is to not falsify one another’s motives or take everything said so personally. There is nothing at stake here other than recognising one another’s self worth and otherness, and getting along accordingly. and go easier on lee – it should be apparent to you all that he really doesn’t understand why he is being played with as such, and it palpably hurts him terribly. my feeling is that you’ve all misrecognised him for your own amusement, and i would suggest that more caution is advised. if you want to pick on someone, try me instead – as long as you’re prepared to be played with a result.