Things Not To Do Before Going To Bed; Part Four!
Welcome to the musical comedy extravoganza
Red Dwarf The Musical
Featuring songs such as;
“Last (Hu)Man Standing” by Dave Lister
“Oops, I Did It Again” by Arnold Rimmer
“I’m Too Sexy” by The Cat
and
“Android Rap” by Kryten.
Special guest stars; William Shatner, Deforest Kelley and Leonard Nimoy, who will sing “Star Trek Rhapsody” as a bonus!
The lyrics are as follows;
STAR TREK RHAPSODY
I am the captain of the starship Enterprise
Captain Kirk, this is Spock, please step on the transporter
(Due to errors, this word will not be added) crystals hit by Klingon missiles
No I’m a doctor, not an actor, not a milkman, what does that mean and I’m sorry he’s dead too
Proton torpedo…..
Lieutenant Uhura, open hailing frequencies
Yes Captain Kirk, opening hailing frequencies, sir
Let’s boldly go where no one’s gone before
Hahahahaha
Beam me up Mr Scott, Sulu go to warp
Warp One sir
No that is way too slow
Warp Two sir
No that still is far to slow
Warp Three sir
No that is too slow
Warp Four sir
That still is far too slow
Warp Five
It’s too damn slow
Warp Six
It’s too damn slow
It’s too damn sloooooowww
*The tune is (mostly) there. Please see Page Two for the rest of the lyrics, or call an ambulance.
** The manager and script-writer do not take responsibility for any harm that may come from reading this. As a matter of fasct, we intend to be violently sick, over in Hawaii, spending our money…. mwahahahahahaha!!!!