00-911 The Misadventures of Agent When Part 8

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    nursewhen
    Participant

    [b][u]Streudel[/u][/b]

    Wake ( for) The Dead

    Chief Streudel slid slowly down the wall of the Stan Van in agonised disbelief. Her convulsing, gasping torrent of sobs had yielded to a calmer stream of trickling tears, punctuated by a whisper soft refrain of hiccups.

    She finally collapsed to the floor, appearing to deflate and wither away. A tragic Juliet to her Rubber Romeo. With the faraway look of one who’s soul has taken flight from their body to escape the screaming agony of loss, Chief Streudel drew in an uneven, shuddering breath. She willed her tears into a tenuously temporary respite. In a voice cracking and choking from the bitter, expanding lump of raw repressed emotion embedded in her throat, Streudel sang her final tribute to her lost latex lover in the language of his people.

    ” Vaiyo A O,” her voice was barely audible. ” A Home Va Ya Ray …” A single tear tracked inexorably downward, refusing to be stilled. ” Vaiyo A… Rah,” the final syllable was only a breathy afterthought. ” Jerhume…Brunnen…G”.

    Bryn gazed skyward and saluted.
    ” Farewell, Last of the Brunnen-G Spot. *Snort*…It was a good way to die…*cough …snicker*. Bryn shook from the effort of stifling a impending laughing fit at the thought of the inflatable Romantic Warrior’s final stand.
    ” I’m sure he wishes…*snort*… he could’ve loved you in the way you wanted him to…oh wait, *snicker* he did!” The dam burst and Bryn exploded with laughter.
    Agent When viciously jabbed Bryn in the ribs. Bryn recoiled looking indignant.

    ” It was a BLOW UP DOLL fer cryin’ out loud!!! Are you people Loony Tunes? Oh, wait! ” Bryn dissolved into laughter anew at his unintentional joke.
    ” Can’t you see…she’s…”,When’s hand flew to her mouth to contain the chortle threatening to bubble up,”…in…pain?”
    Agent When’s composure crumbled. The mental picture of the flying rabid weasel wigged Fourthof5 sailing in a graceful arc over the pavement demolished her resistance and she buried her head into Bryn’s chest to muffle the onslaught of guffaws.
    Marcus looked to and fro, regarding the ambivalence of the scene before him with bewilderment. Bryn motioned him closer, then whispered,
    ” You’re a relative of the deceased. Go comfort her.” The comment made Agent When become completely unglued. Marcus shook his head vigorously in the manner that Scooby Doo does when asked to explore a creepy castle.

    The pair simultaneously read the look of retreat in his eyes. Each grabbed an arm and slung him towards the distraught Chief. Marcus leaned into the wall to stop his forward momentum. Not knowing exactly what to do, he opted to gently pat the top of her head, which was cradled between her knees. Streudel slowly lifted her head and met his concerned gaze.

    Her trembling lip slowly migrated upward and the light returned to her eyes. With the speed of a bullfrog flicking out it’s tongue to catch a fly, Chief Streudel snatched Marcus up and whipped him into her waiting bosom. She wrapped her arms around him in a vicelike grip. A sh*t eatin’ grin spread over her tearstained features. She began stroking the top of his head so furiously that the smell of burning hair permeated the Stan Van. The poor man’s head rebounded repeatedly from her hand to her chest. Marcus had the appearance of a panic-stricken puppy being manhandled by an over enthusiastic toddler.
    ” That autta keep ’em busy until we reach Halifax.” Bryn said. ” ACK…COUGH…GURGLE…URK.”
    As much as it pains me to say this, I think we’d better step in here. His eyeballs look like they’re going to come out of their sockets.” When said.
    When and Bryn each grabbed a leg and began to pull, suspending Marcus above the floor. After an intense struggle, Marcus popped free, sending the trio careening backward, giving them the appearance of a pack of cluster lizards rolling in reverse. The group had only come to a rest for a split second when the StanVan shuddered.
    ” Ouch. ” It said in a booming voice.
    Everyone in the StanVan looked at each other quizzically. Chief Streudel snapped to reality. She leapt up and stormed to a window. From her vantage point, she could see an armoured Moth carrying Fifi and Fourth circling, firing flaming arrows at the StanVan.
    ” Ouch. The flying bug ship is hurting me, Bryn. ”
    Chief Streudel vibrated with fury. Her eyes narrowed to wickedly dark
    slits.
    BLAM! Cha-Chunk! Click!
    Streudel kicked open the door of the moving Stan Van and locked and loaded the Divine Assassinator 3000.

    ” Fourth… you are SO dead, man! “

    [u][b]Fourthof5[/b][/u]

    Fourthof5 had been in the moth for what seemed like five days. (N.B.This was the point where the Lexx.com board went down for a revamp) In fact it was only a few moments, but the stress of the last few weeks of adventure had taken there toll on Fourthof5. Now as he looked down, Streudel was taking pot shots at him with the divine assassinator 3000. Even at this altitude he could hear her distraught ramblings as they were carried on the wind and somehow fanned into his ears by the beating moth wings.
    “You bastard! My poor poor sex toy! You will pay, do you hear me, you will pay!”
    And so it went on, finally Fourth had had enough, he decided that once and for all he would take care of things, and this time it would not blow up in his face. He looked down and waited.
    Fifi was sitting next to Fourthof5. Having just rescued Fourth, he could not stop prattling on about how he was going to take advantage of things by using this rescue as a way to further himself in Prince’s favour. More importantly, he stood the opportunity to leap past Uber to take the credit.

    “You know what I am going to do when we get back?” Said Fifi “I’m going to make sure that Prince knows that it was Uber_Vixen’s fault that his plans started to go wrong”
    “Really? How?” mentioned Fourth as he turned to look at Fifi for the first time. Fifi looked different from the last time he had seen him. Gone was much of the hair and his white jump suite had been replaced by a terry towelling shirt and a pair of bicycle shorts. “And why are you dressed that way” He added just out of curiosity.
    “Well the plan to take out Agent When and her crew failed the moment Uber went on her personal crusade to get you for what you had done to Australia. Further, this lead to Prince trying to use you, by having Uber make you fall in love with Agent Streudel, while at the same time relaying information directly to us. This failed because Uber was not as proficient as she led Prince to believe in the art of Love mind manipulation. As to the clothing Diva ripped them off me, and these were the only things I could find.”
    The mention of Diva Heveaman had sent a shiver throughout Fourth’s body. It had been her that he had been thinking about when Uber had tried make him fall in love with Chief Streudel, and while that had backfired, the mere mention of Diva’s name meant that Fourth had only diverted the love mind manipulation to another person. Diva Heveaman He tried to refocus, and though difficult he manage to regain his thoughts. He continued to hear the shrill cry of chief Streudel and her bereaved fury over the loss of the Kai Sex Toy. He smiled once again at the look on their faces as he had pulled the blade across the Sex Toys throat. Then it had all gone wrong. Like it always seems to, and he had only just managed to escape. Now though things were going to go right. Now he had the plan that would once and for all fix When and her crew’s little red wagon. He looked down and saw that When, and Bryn had gone on top of the StanVan in order to somehow take control of Streudel
    “Fifi. Do you mind opening you window please” he said pleasantly.
    “Err, yeah sure.” said Fifi, and as an after thought asked why.
    “Oh, you know, closed spaces, crowed. They make nervous.” Said Fourth with a smile.
    Fifi opened the moths door/window and a rush of air came in to the cockpit.
    “Ah, that’s better” Said fourth as he pretended to look physically better for having air come in through the open window. He looked down again, When had just managed to take hold of the Assassinator 3000 and Bryn was standing just a little apart from the two women. Fourth smiled to himself and said to Fifi “look down there.”
    Fifi dully looked out ” Err what am I looking at?” He asked.
    “If I am not mistaken you are looking at the ground.” And with that Fourthof5 yanked the Moth’s joystick control hard left. The Moth immediately lurched and twisted as it was forced to make its hard turn. Fifi in his position of looking out the window was caught off guard and lost his purchase on the window frame. He scrambled and twisted in the hopes of regaining his balance, but it was to no avail. He tumbled out of the Moth and plummeted towards the ground screaming. Actually, he was not heading towards the ground as much as he was heading towards the StanVan.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    When had just managed to wrestle the Assassinator 3000 away form Streudel. She was yelling at Streudel trying to maker her understand that the grief she felt for her beloved Kai Sex Toy would pass. Streudel was yelling back at her, saying that Fourthof5 needed to pay for what he had done. Bryn was standing a little way from the yelling women, wise enough to know that he would be safer standing away from them, than any attempt to interfere and break up the two. It was because of the yelling that they did not hear the screaming till it was too late. At the last moment before Fifi crashed into the StanVan, his screams made the ACME crew stop and look up. In one terrifying moment they all realised what was about to happen, yet, even though they tried, it was in vain. Fifi hit the StanVan at full speed. Worse still he had hit the StanVan where Bryn was standing.
    The force of the impact had knocked everyone off their feet. When they managed to get up it was to see Bryn lying unmoving under Fifi who was moving. The two women rushed to Bryn’s side and When with a trembling hand felt for a pulse. It was there. But it was faint.
    MM made his way to the ACME crew. He looked at Bryn and in a moment of clarity. said “He will be fine if you can get him to a rejuvenation unit. There is one onboard the LEXX.”
    “How are we going to get to the LEXX when we still have to get to Halifax” asked Streudel.
    “Bryn will be fine, His injuries are not life threatening. He is just in a coma due to the impact with Fifi.” said MM “We will go to Halifax first as Jim will know if there is another rejuvenator here, or if we must use the one onboard the LEXX”.
    Streudel looked at the trembling teary agent When “It will be OK. He will be all right.” she said.
    Agent When looked at Strudel through her tear laden eyes “You. You did this.”
    [b]Is there dissention in the ranks of the ACME crew? Will that hamper them in their attempts to get to Halifax? Has Fourthof5 finally managed to get his evil way? Will this tragedy be overcome with good comedy (I hope)? Stay tuned for the next exiting episode of 00911/The Misadventures of Agent When[/b]

    [u][b]Nursewhen[/b][/u]

    Streudel kicked open the door of the moving Stan Van and locked and loaded the Divine Assassinator 3000. ”
    Fourth… you are SO dead, man! ”
    With that, she swung herself onto the roof, kicked a burning arrow off into the verge and swung the assassinator onto her shoulder.
    BLAM! Cha-Chunk! Click!
    Inside the van, Bryn vaulted into the driver’s seat and brought the StanVan to a halt.
    Agent When grabbed the utility belt and followed chief Streudel onto the roof, ducking as a flaming arrow roared over her head.
    “You worthless bastard!” Streudel screamed through her tears, blindly hauling at the weapon settings.
    BLAM! Cha-Chunk! Click! – A stream of lime jello fountained towards the moth, falling short by several feet.
    “You’re going to Pay, FourthofFive, you perfidious little son of a head louse!”
    “Chief Streudel!” Agent When shouted. “Give me the Assassinator, you’ve got the settings wrong!”
    Chief Streudel yanked violently at the settings again and aimed.
    BLAM! Cha-Chunk! Click! – A little shower of confetti love hearts erupted from the barrel and dispersed across the roof of the StanVan.
    “Streudel! Please give me the Assassinator!” Agent When grabbed hold of the gun and tried to yank if from her hands. Behind her, Bryn scrambled onto the roof carrying a fire extinguisher.
    “Let go!” Shrieked Streudel. The two women wrestled for control of the gun.
    A scream distracted Agent When who looked up in time to see Fifi, all flailing arms and legs speeding down from the moth.
    “Oh my god! Bryn!” She cried. Bryn looked up just in time to see Fifi crashing down on top of him. The impact rocked the van and knocked the women off their feet.
    “Bryn!” Cried Agent When in horror. She ran to his side and rolled Fifi off him and unceremoniously pushed him over the side of the StanVan.
    “Bryn!” she cried again, her voice breaking with emotion. She felt for his pulse. It was faint. A hand closed around Agent When’s wrist and gently, but firmly moved it out of the way. She looked up to see Marcus kneeling beside Bryn, checking his pulse.
    “He will be fine if you can get him to a rejuvenation unit. There is one onboard the LEXX.”
    “Isn’t there one on the StanVan?” Cried Agent When.
    Marcus gave her a long, slow look. “No.” He said simply. He turned his head away, closed his eyes for a moment and then turned back. “Bryn will be fine, his injuries are not life threatening. He is just in a coma due to the impact with Fifi. We must first see Jim Hattersfield who will know if there is another rejuvenator here, or if we must use the one onboard the LEXX”.
    “‘Just’ in a coma!” When shrieked. “Since when has a coma been classified as a ‘just’?”
    Streudel looked at the trembling, teary agent When “It will be OK. He will be all right”, she said.
    Agent When glared at Streudel through her tears “You did this!” She cried, “You and your stupid blow up MM doll!
    “This isn’t helping.” Said MM.
    Agent When rubbed the tears from her face. “Oh, I’m sorry Streudel, but I don’t think I can take any more of this.”
    Suddenly, another flaming arrow slammed into the roof of the StanVan. Agent When let out an unprintable curse and leapt to her feet. She grabbed the Assassinator, shouldered it and sent a spray of chocolate sauce surging over the windows of the moth.
    The moth rocked in the air for a moment, then began to turn. Suddenly the screech of the brace split the air. Marcus was standing on the top of the StanVan with his right arm extended, his lips clamped together in a determined pout. Behind him, unnoticed by anybody, Fifi clambered back onto the roof of the StanVan.
    The brace punctured the window of the moth and grabbed hold of the saucepan handle which was still stuck to Fourthof5’s head. Marcus tried to retract the brace, causing Fourth’s head to impact several times on the inside of the window with a satisfying clanging noise.
    Finally the window could take no more and Fourth was pulled through it. The saucepan flew off his head and went spinning towards the StanVan, dealing the unfortunate Fifi a resounding blow on the head which knocked him back off the side of the van.
    Fourth grabbed hold of one of the moth’s legs as he fell.
    Agent When reset the controls of the divine assassin. “You’re going to pay!” She cried, sending the sink plunger on a rope corkscrewing through the air towards Fourth as he dangled below the belly of the moth.
    The sink plunger flew upwards, under Fourth’s skirt and connected with a satisfying thud.
    “Ooh, bet that made his eyes water.” Chief Streudel winced.
    Agent When jerked the gun backwards, hitting the newly arrived Fifi in the teeth and sending him back over the edge again. The jerk on the gun, designed to dislodge Fourth only resulted in a ripping sound and the threesome were showered with nuts as the sink plunger returned to the gun complete with a pair of boxer shorts with the Australian flag on them..
    “Heavens above!” Cried Streudel as she averted her eyes from the spectacle above her.
    Agent When fired a stream of baby oil at Fourth in an attempt to make his handhold slippery, but Fourth somehow managed to scramble back on board the moth and sent it fluttering away at top speed.
    Agent When cursed, thrust the Assassin into Streudel’s arms and returned to Bryn’s side, hopelessly cradling his head in her arms. A thought suddenly struck her. She turned to Marcus who was crouched on the other side.
    “Where did you get that brace from?” she asked.
    “It was in a box belonging to Chief Streudel marked ‘Most precious things.’ It is the brace belonging to the clone which she took from him along with the rest of his clothes.”
    Chief Streudel hung her head and twisted the toe of her shoe into the roof.
    “And how come you’re suddenly so lucid?” Agent When asked.
    Marcus looked away and considered for a moment. “I have always been lucid.” He replied as he turned back and fixed her with his eyes. “But I have found it serves my purposes to pretend not to be.”
    “How are we going to get Bryn to Jim Hattersfield?” asked Agent When. We can’t drive the StanVan, it’s in Stan mode and Bryn’s in a coma.”
    Marcus bent down and effortlessly lifted Bryn onto his shoulder.
    *THUD*
    Agent When contemplated the prone body of Chief Streudel. She sighed, reached down and hauled her upright.
    Marcus turned to the struggling agent. “We don’t need to drive the StanVan. We are already here.” He indicated a sign behind Agent When. It read ‘Halifax Care Facility For Mentally Ill Actors’.

    [u][b]Uber_Vixen[/b][/u]

    Streudel and When climbed off the roof of the StanVan, as Marcus carefully lowered Bryn down by his armpits. Diva Heveaman ran from the Halifax Care Facility For Mentally Ill Actors with a mussed Jim Hattersfield following in close pursuit. When raised an eyebrow at Diva’s also messy appearance. Diva stopped in front of Bryn’s inert body with a worried look on her face. Jim approached her from behind and manoeuvred his head under her arm. He looked up at Diva pleadingly and she rolled her eyes and put her arm around his head.
    “What happened?” she asked Marcus abruptly.
    “Hello Diva,” MM said. “Bryn’s been crushed by a… Fifi. In any event, he is now comatose.”
    “Will he be okay?”
    “He will be fine if we can locate a Rejuvenator. We need Jim’s help finding an alternative to the one on the Lexx.”
    “Oh and Bryn’s lost a tooth. It’s got a chip in it!” When piped in and retrieved the tooth nestled in her cleavage.
    Jim took it hesitantly. He held it up to his eyes while making beeping sounds. When nudged Streudel in the hips knowingly and whispered, “He really does think he’s a robot head.” Streudel nodded distractedly and brushed confetti heart out of her hair in Marcus’s direction. MM took a step away.
    “All this piece of stinking Security Guard bone contains is the location of Prince’s tower and a disgusting cavity! Tweedle needs to see a dentist. Yuck!” Diva ran her gaze over the bedraggled crew of the StanVan. Streudel was ogling a disturbed looking MM. Marcus stunk of burning hair.
    Agent When had paper confetti hearts in her hair and lime jello on her shoulder. Her forehead was bunched in a frown as she looked worriedly at the heap of Bryn on the ground. A little distance away, the repulsive lump of drooling Fifi lay inert on the tarmac.
    “What happened to you guys!?” Diva exclaimed, hiding her pleasure at their misfortune. The other ignored the question and were luckily interrupted by Lyekka emerging from the StanVan.
    “I am very hungry. I want to eat.”
    “You can eat all the crazies in there,” Jim suggested, gesturing to the Care Facility.
    “No you can’t!” yelped Streudel as she ran inside.
    “What’s wrong with her?” Diva asked.
    “She sent the MM clone here. I think she’s gone to pick him up. Looks like you’re off the hook Marcus!”
    Marcus sighed in relief and put down the blow up doll he was furiously trying to repair. He turned his attention back to the faux robot head.
    “790.” Jim grinned and nodded in appreciation. “Do you know if another Rejuvenator Unit exists outside of the one on the Lexx?”
    “As if I’d tell you, decomposing flesh man.”
    “790! Tell him!” Diva snapped. Jim sighed.
    “There is another unit located very close by. In fact, it’s right inside the Halifax Care Facility For Mentally Ill Actors.”
    “Here?”
    “That’s what I said, isn’t it? The staff use it to treat certain mental problems. For instance dementia. It makes a patient temporarily lucid.”
    “Um. How interesting,” When said distractedly. “Do you think we could take Bryn there now? I don’t think the pavement is really good for his condition. I am a nurse you know.” She beamed.
    Fifi groaned and twitched a little. When ran over to his bicycled shorted form and whacked him over the head with a chocolate éclair. “We ought to do something about him too. Wait. I have an idea!”

    ~~~~~

    Vixen’s moth landed on a large balcony. She pulled a mirror out from underneath her seat and checked herself. Her chin was slightly bruised, but otherwise she looked nice enough in her Wist outfit. She wanted to impress Prince and make sure he forgot about that trollop Xavia. She swung the moth eye lens open and hopped out.
    Prince already stood in the doorway. “Vixen, a pleasure to see you again,” he said in his silky British accent. Xavia stepped out from behind him and glared.
    “Not interrupting anything am I?” Vixen asked nervously.
    “Not at all,” Xavia retorted.
    “Xev, could you leave us alone for a minute?” Prince asked politely. Xavia shot him a hateful glance and disappeared into the tower. “How did you handle Fifi? You weren’t followed?”
    “Fifi has been disabled. I wasn’t followed, but I’m not sure how long it will be until he is discovered… or wriggles free, the slimy little worm!” She paused. “But I don’t want to talk to you about that. I want to know why you gave me the nanites.” Prince’s smile froze for an instant.

    “I did what was necessary. You proved my point yourself when you attempted to attack Xavia back in Halifax.” Vixen scowled. “But more importantly, I didn’t give them to you.”
    “Then who? Not?…”
    “Yes. I had the MM clone transmit the nanites to you.” Vixen fell to her knees.
    “Noooooooooooooooooooo!!! When? How?”
    “Has anyone ever told you that you sleep extremely deeply?” Vixen gasped. The MM clone, in her bedroom and she didn’t even know it! Didn’t even have a chance to exploit the situation. She whimpered.
    “I hope you’re not too upset.” Prince chuckled and helped her to her feet. “You still have me.”
    She stood unbelievably close to his pierced lip. Her eyes brightened a little.
    “I’m OK. I’ll be fine. But I don’t understand why you have to keep Xavia here.”
    “The further away from the rest of the Lexx crew she is, the better. She won’t be able to protect them if she is here.” “Right. Well, I still don’t like it.” She pouted cutely. Prince rolled his eyes and ignored her.
    “Look. A moth approaches,” Prince said calmly.
    The moth landed in front of them and an angry Fourth emerged. He was wearing a slightly torn police woman’s outfit. Prince approached Fourth and sniffed him curiously.
    “Nuts?”
    Fourth glared.
    “Don’t despair Agent Fourth. I have another mission for you.”Vixen’s eyes widened. Fourth is working for Prince?! She couldn’t believe it.
    “Diva Heveaman is under instruction to seduce Bryn and steal the key from him. I want you to go and distract the others so they don’t interrupt… the proceedings. Seeing as you only have eyes for Streudel,” he glanced at Vixen, “or should, then I should be able to trust you with this. I’d send Vixen but I suspect she would be far too distracted by the MM clone and Marcus himself.”
    Fourth looked like he was about to faint. Diva will never be tainted by that disgusting man! “Yes. I’ll leave right away.” He glanced at Vixen who smiled.
    “See ya later Fourth,” she said pleasantly in the hopes it would display to Prince what a good henchman – henchperson – she was. Working well with others. GO ME!
    Fourth raised an eyebrow. “Do you have anything I could change into?”

    Prince handed him a red jump-suit and Fourth scuttled off to his moth.

    ~~~~~

    Everyone had moved down into the basement level of the Care Facility and were crowded around a plastic wrapped Bryn lying on a sterile white platform. Jim twiddled with the controls.
    “Marcus, can you escort Fifi to his cell?” Nursewhen asked flippantly.
    “I would prefer to stay here and oversee proceedings. Jim is known for his dislike of Bryn. I will try and keep from anything unfortunate happening.”

    “I would never! My darling Zev has asked me to do this, and I will follow her wishes.” When sighed and turned to Zev. “You’re the only other one strong enough to take him. I’d help, but I’m worried about Bryn.”
    Zev glared momentarily and hoisted Fifi over her shoulders and started towards Fifi’s padded cell.
    Jim looked up at When and MM from the controls. “Maybe you two should go find Streudel. She’s been with that clone for an awfully long time.”

    MM and When glanced at each other. “Don’t worry! I’ll be fine here. I promised Zev I wouldn’t hurt Security Guard Class Retard.”
    When nodded to MM and they left the room.

    ~~~~~

    Diva dumped the still unconscious Fifi onto the padded floor of his new home. She motioned to the warder who locked the door, snapping the key off in the lock. Diva gave him a coy smile and her thanks and started back for the basement, worried that Jim might forget her pleas for him to be civil to Bryn. She hurried along the institutional grey corridors.

    Suddenly a dazed and lost looking man in a red jump-suit appeared in front of her.
    “Bryn! You’re alright?”
    “Uhm, yes, I’m fine, but my nam-”
    “Should you be walking around? Let’s go sit down.”
    He let himself be dragged into a nearby empty room and sat down on a bed. Diva sat closely beside him and looked into his eyes adoringly. A TV was on in the background playing a news report about teen age joy riders in an Acme Winnebago causing chaos on the Canadian highways over the weekend. Diva switched it off.
    “I’ve been waiting so long for us to be finally alone… together.” She put her hand on his cheek and teasingly licked the other. His eyes widened and his lower lip started to tremble. “I know I have been cruel to you in the past, but after spending all this time with Jim, I’ve come to realise how much you really mean to me. Stan. I want you to… I want you to make me a woman.”
    His eyes nearly popped out of his head and he swooned slightly. “Oh, Stan…” Diva said breathily.

    ~~~~~

    Bryn groaned and stirred into consciousness. He groggily looked up at Jim and blinked.
    “Jim? Where am I?”
    “You’re in the Halifax Crazy House for Crazy Actors.”
    “Ohhh, nonono, I’m not staying here with you looking after me!”
    “Don’t worry Tweedle, Zev instructed me to take care of you – in the nice way.”
    “Oh, well you’d better.”
    “Don’t think I want to be doing this! My glorious Zev seems to have some sort of interest in you. Blech!”
    “Interest?” Bryn’s eyes lit up. “I always knew she was attracted to me.”
    He smiled smugly.
    “Maybe she was,” Jim said reluctantly. “Maybe she didn’t want you around in case it ruined her chances with Kai. Maybe she didn’t think she could control herself if she’d have let you know she was interested. Or then again, maybe not.”
    “So she is interested?” Bryn asked, ignoring the negativity.
    “So she has told me,” Jim spat. “Seeing as she will never *sob* be interested *sob* in me, maybe you should just take your chance. Go! Find her. Steal her away from me!” He collapsed in a sobbing heap. Bryn didn’t notice.

    “Right. That’s a good idea. Yeah. See ya later.” Bryn ran out of the basement.

    Jim stopped sobbing and stood up abruptly, dusting off his clothes. He promptly wandered out in the direction Bryn had gone.

    [b]Next week on 00911… Fifi gets married! Fourth has yet another costume change! And much more! [/b]

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