A New Pet

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  • #37898
    SadGeezer
    Keymaster

    A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to
    buy a pet that can do everything.

    The owner says, “How about a dog?”

    The man replies, “A dog? That’s so ordinary! And a dog can’t do
    everything!”

    The owner says, “How about a cat?”

    The man replies, “No way! A cat certainly can’t do everything. I
    want a pet that can do everything!”

    The owner thinks for a minute, then says, “I’ve got it — a
    centipede!” The man says, “A centipede? I can’t imagine a
    centipede doing everything. But, okay … I’ll try a centipede.”

    He gets the centipede home and says to it, “Clean the kitchen.”
    Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and it’s
    immaculate. All the dishes and silverware have been washed,
    polished, dried and put away. The countertops have been cleaned.
    The appliances are sparkling. The floor has been waxed.

    He’s absolutely amazed. He says to the centipede, “Go clean the
    living room.”

    Twenty minutes later he walks into the living room. The carpet
    has been vacuumed, the furniture clean and dusted, the pillows on
    the sofa plumped and the plants watered. The man thinks to
    himself, “This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. This is
    truly a pet that can do everything.”

    He says to the centipede, “Run down to the corner and get me a
    newspaper.” The centipede walks out the door. Ten minutes later,
    no centipede. Twenty minutes later, no centipede. Thirty minutes
    later, no centipede.

    The man is wondering what’s going on. The centipede should have
    been back in a couple of minutes. Forty-five minutes later, still
    no centipede! The man can’t imagine what happened. Did the
    centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Finally, he
    goes to the front door and opens it… and there’s the centipede
    sitting right outside the door.

    The man says, “Hey! I sent you 45 minutes ago to run down to the
    corner and get me a newspaper. What’s the story?”

    The centipede says, “I’m goin’! I’m goin’! I’m puttin’ on my
    shoes!”

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