Being Female and Colonial

[damocles]

This is an exchange I had with the guy who supplies me with Dodoisms when we discuss the new Battlestar Galactica

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I take it, then, you are in the Karl Agathon camp? That is mighty brick thick of you……

Damocles
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I think you are being a bit hard on poor Helo… after all he did just discover ( rather suddenly I might add) that the woman he loves is responsible for the near extinction of the human race.

I’m pretty sure such information would have cracked most men.

Dodo

Re: “Kobol’s Last Gleaming”
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I take it, then, you are in the Karl Agathon camp? That is mighty brick thick of you……

Damocles
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I think you are being a bit hard on poor Helo… after all he did just discover ( rather suddenly I might add) that the woman he loves is responsible for the near extinction of the human race.

I’m pretty sure such information would have cracked most men.

Dodo
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Imagine you have all the information that Karlo had up to this moment of revelation.

What are the odds that “Sharon” would show up to shoot the Heifer(Clone # 7 of TOASTER MARK VI) in the back?

What are the odds that Sharon would show up at all,discover Helo on the whole lousy planet, or finding his trail would make it through the TOASTERS’ army to rescue him?

When Helo saw another Heifer, couldn’t you hear the rusty gears grinding in his head?

Valleri dragged that eighty kilo lump of beef, that is Helo, fifteen meters through a sewer by one arm?

The TOASTER MARK IV has morning sickness. Do you think “Brickthick” Karlo has a clue?

And if Agathon had a conscience he would have either taken the TOASTER MARK IV prisoner or shot her dead instead of making her suffer. (If he had any brains he would take her prisoner. She is obviously an intelligence and technology prize worth analyzing alive.)

Well he did take her prisoner, so I suppose there is hope for Helo after all. Lets hope Boomer’s little toaster gets her looks AND HER BRAINS!

Damocles
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You dare to question my assessment? 😆

Damocles
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When ever I can. 😉

And come on, Helo isnt brick thick… he’s merely swimming in the deep end of de nile.

I think the boy just needs some time… he’s had a whole lot to absorb in the past month and a half. If he happens to survive this trial he’s going through now, I’m more then certain he’ll redeem himself.

Dodo

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There are SPOILERS for Kobol’s Last Gleaming; Part II in this text, so don’t read the really tiny print!

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And come on, Helo isnt brick thick… he’s merely swimming in the deep end of de nile.

I think the boy just needs some time… he’s had a whole lot to absorb in the past month and a half. If he happens to survive this trial he’s going through now, I’m more then certain he’ll redeem himself.

Dodo
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That will be quite a feat for a Colonial warrior from the shallow end of the gene pool.

Have you noticed that both Sharon and Kara have the same character defect?

They are both superb women who have this habit for falling for “losers”.

Kara falls for that that nameless Major, Zack(not Gaius-the OTHER Zack), Gaius, and now Lee; though Lee may be a redeemable loser-if Thrace can ever whip that wimp into shape.

And poor Sharon; I suppose the Chief(Tyrol) may be somewhat less of a bonehead than Helo, but come on!

I’m even beginning to feel sorry for Six, the Heifer. Look at the prize she has in that psychotic dwarf, Baltar/Smith!

Now that I think about it, it really sucks to be a woman aboard the Galactica.

Sharon-hooks up with brickthick “Duhs….”.
Kara-hangs out with “mama’s boys” and psychopaths.
Six, the Heifer-is doomed to micro-manage a psychotic clown so that he can “function”.
Laura-goes religiously fruit loopy on whacky-weed and she is doomed to die of cancer in six months.
Even Ellen Tigh(Ms. Uglyfeet) is tied to a fussfeathers Elmer Fudd, that I bet she has to steer hard to starboard to get him to amount to anything….”

I feel another Dodoism coming on.

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Dodo’s Rule for Colonial Women.

If you are a strong capable woman, you will either:
-marry a drunken fussfeather, who is a bigger mother hen than you are.
-be reduced to a recurring sex-fantasy psychosis in the deranged mind of some self-absorbed lunatic dwarf male ego after you gave your life to save that little deranged midget.
-fall in love with some mama’s boy pilot who isn’t worthy to lace up your flight boots.
-sleep with the nearest available psychopath to forget your frustration of being used by everyone.
-fall in love with the nearest schmuck, who is too emotionally and mentally immature to understand when you need his “help”.
-be doomed to undergo a religious experience, take whacky weed, and “Oh by the way you have a time limit on how long you have to “save your people” because in six months you going to die girl!”
-or find some other way to screw up your life.(like shoot the only Colonial who is a “real man” in a dozen light years-the commander of the very battlestar you are stuck on.)

D.
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