Belly up to the bar, Drinks are on me!

Science Fiction TV Show Guides Forums Other Forums The Pub Belly up to the bar, Drinks are on me!

Viewing 41 posts - 1 through 41 (of 41 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #38633
    SadGeezer
    Keymaster

    Want to attend a party with all the Sadgeezer board crew? Well, now’s our chance to have a good cyber blow out.

    We are parted by oceans
    parted by seas.
    We are parted by phone lines,
    That reside unseen.
    But a wonderful thing,
    Called the internet brought us together.
    Now it’s time to cyber party,
    For fun and for pleasure.

    I’ll start out with a good Amaretto sour. The great thing about this is, you can have anything you want, real or imagined. Have fun!

    *CHEERS*
    *sorry super_joe, I just now read your thread. Just consider this an add on to a party. I thought this would be fun to interact with after reading the “things not to do when drunk” thread. *whips out lipstick* I have makeup!

    [ 21-03-2002: Message edited by: Praxilla ]

    #63069
    Anonymous
    Guest

    *hic* No worriesh, I’ll have athyning you ‘ave. Jusht pooor it inta m’glassere, and heyey, I’ll drinkit. No problemoosoindeedee, ‘cos the thing is. The thing is. The thing is, I’m not pickle….pookie….piggy….CHOOSY, yeah, thatsit, choosy, sheee? ‘Cos when you’ve had as much hexperience thingamajiggy as I, yes, I, super_joe_yamaman, at *hic* drinkinging, no worries,you….

    super_joe_yamaman’s eyes glaze over, then….

    Heey, why doyou, *hic*, whydoyouthink it’s called Mad Dog 20/20, hmmmm? I mean, Mad Dog, I can unnertsand, ‘cos you know, that wossname, that hair of the dog thingy, but tweneetwenee? ‘Snot as if you got 20/20 vissin after you drik id. It. Drink it.

    *hic*

    Where wosh I? Nevevever mind. Haaay, izzat a kareeokay set?

    *ahem*

    super_joe_yamaman steps up to the karaoke machine and in a surprisingly deep baritone, with the words to Britney Spears’s ‘Overprotected’ on the screen, sings….

    I am the very model of a modern Major General
    I’ve information vegetable, animal, and mineral
    I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
    From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical

    I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
    I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
    About binomial theorem I’m teeming with a lot o’ news
    With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
    (with many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse)
    (with many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse)
    (with many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotepotenuse)

    I’m very good at integral and differential calculus
    I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
    In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
    I am the very model of a modern Major General
    (in short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral)
    (he is the very model of a modern Major General)

    I know our mythic history, King Arthur’s and Sir Caradoc’s
    I answer hard acrostics, I’ve a pretty taste for paradox
    I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
    In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous

    I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
    I know the croaking chorus from the ‘Frogs of Aristophanes’!
    Then I can hum a fugue of which I’ve heard the music’s din afore
    And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense ‘Pinafore’
    (and whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense ‘Pinafore’)
    (and whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense ‘Pinafore’)
    (and whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense ‘Pinapinafore’)

    Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform
    And tell you ev’ry detail of Caractacus’s uniform
    In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
    I am the very model of a modern Major General
    (in short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral)
    (he is the very model of a modern Major General)

    In fact, when I know what is meant by “mamelon” and “ravelin”
    When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
    When such affairs as sorties and surprises I’m more wary at
    And when I know precisely what is meant by “commissariat”

    When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery
    When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
    In short, when I’ve a smattering of elemental strategy
    You’ll say a better Major General has never sat a gee
    (you’ll say a better Major General has never sat a gee)
    (you’ll say a better Major General has never sat a gee)
    (you’ll say a better Major General has never sat a sat a gee)

    For my military knowledge, though I’m plucky and adventury
    Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century
    But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
    I am the very model of a modern Major General
    (but still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral)
    (he is the very model of a modern Major General)

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ROCK AND ROLL BAYBEEEEEEEEEEE!

    *urk*

    Eckshcuse me a minute, I gottta go*urk*

    super-_joe_yamaman runs out of the bar. Outside, the sound of someone being noisily sick can be heard. It is, unsurprisingly perhaps, much more entertaining than the music.

    #63070
    dgrequeen
    Participant

    *dgre listens to the Gilbert and Sullivan, right down to the final spew outside the door.*

    And on that note, I’ll have a Baileys Irish Cream, please.

    #63071
    Anonymous
    Guest

    *grimaces at the hurling sounds of MadDog 20/20* Hope there was some vegetation out there.

    Here ‘ya go dgre! Nothing like a bit of cool irish to keep you warm.

    *finds the Karaoke machine fascinating and decides to embarass herself with her favorite song- Ballad of Magellan from Animaniacs.*

    There once was a man
    His name was Magellan
    A Portuguese skipper
    The girls found him cute
    He sailed with five ships
    To find the East Indies
    Then come back to Spain
    With a bounty of loot

    Whoopie ti-yi-yo
    Oh happy Magellan
    Starting your journey
    With hardly a care
    Whoopie ti-yi-yo
    Strong, brave Magellan
    You’ll find the East Indies
    You just don’t know where

    They crossed the Atlantic
    And spotted a country
    Magellan said
    It’s the East Indies at last!
    But then someone shouted
    Hey, that’s Argentina!
    Magellan got cranky
    And chopped down the mast

    Whoopie ti-yi-yo
    Settle down, Magellan
    Put down that axe
    There’s no time to despair
    Whoopie ti-yi-yo
    Keep trying, Magellan
    You’ll find the East Indies
    You just don’t know where

    A great storm arose
    In the mighty Pacific
    The five little ships
    Were diminished to three
    At last land was sighted
    Magellan was happy
    But then someone shouted
    Hey, that’s Chile!

    Whoopie ti-yi-yo
    Cheer up, Magellan
    Check out your map
    And don’t tear out your hair
    Whoopie ti-yi-yo
    Keep trying, Magellan
    You’ll find the East Indies
    You just don’t know where

    It took them five months
    But they crossed the Pacific
    They spotted a land
    That was dotted with palms
    Magellan proclaimed
    Yes! That’s the East Indies!
    But then someone shouted
    Hey, I think that’s Guam!

    Ay-yi-yi-yi
    Oops, Magellan
    Your fun little journey’s
    Become a nightmare
    Whoopie ti-yi-yo
    Keep trying, Magellan
    You’ll find the East Indies
    You just don’t know where

    They sailed due west
    To the Philippine Islands
    Magellan was pleased
    As the natives drew near
    But then someone shouted
    I think they’re attacking!
    Magellan said…
    …What?
    And got hit by a spear

    Whoopie ti-yi-yo
    Farewell, Magellan
    You almost made it
    It’s really not fair
    Whoopie ti-yi-yo
    Oh, ghost of Magellan
    The East Indies islands
    Were right over there.

    Transcribed by David Orozco

    *sniffle* That calls for another drink. It’s tragic, truly tragic.

    *pours out more for dgre and herself. Asks Lars to watch out for _joe because he doesn’t need to tangle with the ‘Dog anymore.*

    How about some tequila?

    #63072
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Lars please check on super joe and make sure he won’t get ran over or stepped on. oh and please hide that bottle of Mad Dog. ick! too messy!

    [ 22-03-2002: Message edited by: mary beth ]

    #63073
    Anonymous
    Guest

    LoneGunman in typical Geordie fashion is still up and about… will of steel and stomach of cast-iron keep him at the bar downing Broon Ale in industral quantities..

    *Talks to bartender..*
    Jeez man this lot cannae hold their beer.. a bottle or tow of brron ale in the punch bowl and look what happened to them..

    Hey mate.. since whe’re in Hawaii you able to put the toon game on?

    *Bartender turns on the telly, toon game is on.. Man U down 2 goals*

    TOON TOON, BLACK ‘N WHITE ARMY!!
    *Celebrates with a vat of vodka and begins to feel the effects of the drink..*

    #63074
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Hellllooooo, I’m bek evreebodeeeeeeeeeee! Hey, where the smeg wuz the vete….wedgie….vegimite? No, dat’snotit, the….PLANTS?! Yeh, dat’s right, der plants? ‘Cos there’s a reallyly big mess thingamajiggything outside widda protta letty clours. Yo, MoneLunGan, how d’you, how d’you, you know, beer yer hold? Imean, one drink, one drink izzall it takes to destroy MY drain sells!

    Hey, KARAOKE! I wanna, I wanna-

    A look of terrified horror crosses (the seven foot, built like Kevin Sorbo and The Rock combined) Lars’s face as he hears super_joe_yamaman announce that he’s going to sing, and strides towards the drunken maniac

    *in a high pitched, squeaky voice*

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    *super_joe_yamaman*

    Whoa, no wonder you don’t speak much!

    With a look of heroic determination, Lars picks up super_joe_yamaman and throws the Soused Sinatra out the door. As the thudding splat of our intrepid yet intoxicated Iglesias hitting the ‘reallyly big mess thingamajiggything’ outside , the sound of many people enthusiastic and heartfeltedly applauding Lars is heard.

    #63075
    Anonymous
    Guest

    NEWCASTLE NEWCASTLE 2 NILL TO THE CHAMPIONS 2 NILL TO THE CHAMPIONS YOUR CR@P AND YOU KNow u arrrrreeeeeee oh your all maccums arnt you

    bekka finishes shouting like a luni and sits at the bar and stares at the karioke

    songs on that machine always sound so monotone (i have a cunning plan!)

    she gets up and walks to the door before suddenly realizing she forgot her stuff. bekka is halfway out the door when lars taps her on the sholder and takes the TV back

    #63076
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Woo! Now this is getting ter ve a pawteee!

    Do we have pancakes at this pub? I want some pancakes! Syrup… pancakes! pancakes!

    Lars, sweetums, do we have pwancakes?

    *does the pee pee dance and heads to the ladies room. Comes back out, refreshed (hands washed) and wants some pancakes*

    Where are those pancakes!

    #63077
    Anonymous
    Guest

    heeeyyyy …leave some o’ the the the broon stuff fer meeee (hic) wh wh who’s that guy next to Larshh … me not knnow he had a twin bro brither (belch) oops.. ‘scuse me.. heyy handsome.. let me buy you a drinkkk.. (crash)(smash) owww f***.. who left this person in the middle of the floor..

    #63078
    Anonymous
    Guest

    A tall,blond haired man who looks like a cross between Adonis, Fabio, Brad Pitt and Pierce Brosnan walks in. Heavily muscled, he nevertheless displays a grace that would make a prima ballerina weep with frustration and join a monastery. His magnificence is such, even sober people would swear that a faint heavenly followed this man wherever he went. Seeing snooklepie sprawled over a body on the floor, he opens his mouth ands smiles a smile that’s as perfect as the rest of him, displaying teeth that had got him in trouble more than once for ivory poaching and says in a voice that melts all the ladies’ hearts

    A-HA! It doth appear that a fair damsel hath imbibed too much alcohol, causing her to lose her balance over this foul miscreant.

    Hark! This vagabond is none other than my brother, whose voice is known as ‘Deafener Of Nations'(Lars nods fervently)! Whose misdeeds are the stuff of myth, legend, and The FBI’s Ten Most Wanted! O super_joe_yamaman, I am sorry for besmirching thy dubious reputation!

    The mysterious Adonis looks around at the startled faces

    Oh, I offer mine heartfelt apologies to all of thee. ‘Twas rude and uncouth of me in the extreme to mystify all of thee. I am JOE-YAMA-SUPERHUMAN, brother of super_joe_yamaman, and I must take my brother home to release himself from the chains of the vile dog that bit him. But first, as my honour doth bid a gentleman, to extend treatment to this most comely maiden.

    He then takes out a small vial and unstops it. An aroma that smells like how mother’s home cooking oughta smell wafts out of it. JOE-YAMA-SUPERHUMAN then pours it into snooklepie, sobering her up and sending fires of heaven down her blood vessels.

    And now, needs must I take my leave of thee, good netizens. Farewell, and godspeed!

    JOE-YAMA-SUPERHUMAN then strides out the door. A silence of awe and adulation follow him.

    #63079
    Anonymous
    Guest

    quote:


    Originally posted by super_joe_yamaman:
    A tall,blond haired man who looks like a cross between Adonis, Fabio, Brad Pitt and Pierce Brosnan walks in. Heavily muscled, he nevertheless displays a grace that would make a prima ballerina weep with frustration and join a monastery. His magnificence is such, even sober people would swear that a faint heavenly followed this man wherever he went.


    *gets a funny look on her face* I think i’m in love.

    quote

    JOE-YAMA-SUPERHUMAN then strides out the door. A silence of awe and adulation follow him.

    HEEEEY! Didn’t you forget to pick up a certain yamaman???

    [ 23-03-2002: Message edited by: Praxilla ]

    #63080
    mandara k
    Participant

    Damn, I missed the show again. I always show up late to these things. Hey, my money means more here so I’will buy another round for all!!!! Me, I drink Grape Crushes in shot and regular drink form. Anyone want shots? Nooo!! No Maddog for me guys; look where that got the last guy who was here; fertilizing the plants.

    I will not tolerate anyone singing Feelings okay; that will cause me to seriously RALF!!!
    So there was dancing and romancing while before. How sweet!!! You got to remember though that they’ll promise you the moon before and give you the finger after. No thank you. That’s why for me the conversation is free but anything else will cost you more than you can afford.
    Oy Vay! However, I’ll play matchmaker for the rest of you if you need it. You first have to tell me if you want Mr. /Ms Right or Mr./ Ms. RIGHT NOW. You know that itch you just got to scratch. No, Not THAT itch; and no I do not need to see your rash.

    Mandara K

    #63081
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Hello everyone! I’m back, and thanks to my marvelous brother, I’m sober! Y’know, it’s actually good to feel like this! No hangovers, no DT’s, no nothing! I feel like a whole new man! I mean, it was a new experience to wake up in the morning without some evil imp jackhammering my head. So now with all of you as my witnesses, I swear that I will never….

    The TV catches super_joe_yamaman’s eye. An image of a child casualty of war in some unknown country flashes across the screen.

    I will never….

    A journalist speaking about the effects of global poverty and famine in poor nations is displayed.

    Will never….

    A report about the sorry state of press freedom, human rights and democracy, especially in Burma, China, Malaysia and other countries is shown. super_joe_yamaman sighs.

    Ah to hell with it. Give me your strongest drink, bartender, and make it a decaple. That’s Latin for ‘ten’.

    super_joe_yamaman proceeds to drink it all up.

    Anoother, pleashe. Shame ordering.

    #63082
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Thanks, Superhuman!!! I feel so much better now! (disappears momentarily into the little girls’ room, to re-arrange her flowing locks, and to make sure her make-up isn’t clownish. steps back out into the throng, and strides towards the karaoke machine. not normally one to do such things, she wants to make sure her very first public performance is memorable, and that everyone wants a signed photograph afterwards…)
    hand me the mic…testing (ahem) tonight i’ve got a real treat for you guys. it’s one of my favourites from many years ago, and i’m sure by the time i’ve finished with it, it’ll be one of your favourites too. take it away, mr. karaoke maestro, sir..
    (opening bars)
    It’s that time of year
    Now that Spring is in the air
    When those Two wet gits
    With the girly curly hair
    Make another song for moronic holidays
    That nauseate-ate-ate-ates
    In a million different ways

    From the shores of Spain, to the coast of Southern France
    No matter where you hide, you just can’t escape this dance..
    CHORUS
    Hold a chicken in the air
    Stick a deckchair up your nose
    Buy a Jumbo jet, and then bury all your clothes
    Paint your left Knee green
    Then extract your wisdom teeth
    Form a string quartet
    And pretend your name is Keith

    Skin yourself alive, learn to speak Arapahoe
    Climb inside a dog
    And behead an Eskimo
    Eat a Renault Four
    Wear salami in your ears
    Casserole your Gran
    Disembowel yourself with spears

    The disco is vibrating
    The sound is loud and grating
    It’s truly nauseating
    Let’s do the dance again…
    CHORUS
    Hold a chicken in the air
    Stick a deckchair up your nose
    Yes, you’ll hear this song
    In the holiday discos
    And there’s no escape
    In the clubs or in the bars
    You would hear this song
    If you holidayed in Mars

    Skin yourself alive
    Learn to speak Arapohoe
    Climb inside a dog
    And behead an eskimo
    Now you’ve heard it once
    Your brain will spring a leak
    And tho’ you hate this song
    You’ll be humming it for weeks…

    Hold a chicken in the air
    Stick a deckchair up your nose
    Buy a jumbo jet
    And then bury all your clothes…

    —-
    I thank you! (takes a bow. looks around the assembled crowd, trying to figure out from the stunned looks on people’s faces, if anyone is actually going to applaud) Errmm..anyone want an encore????

    #63083
    mandara k
    Participant

    WHOO HOO!!!! What a song!!!!

    Hey Joe,

    Can I tell you a little story?

    Once upon A time there was a forest with a river beside it. One day there was a fire in the forest and all the animals escaped to the other side. They all looked back in sadness at the place that was their home for so long and wept. One little bird also shed tears but then a strange thing happened. That little bird began swooping down in to the river and picking up one drop of water flew over the fire and dropped the drop into the inferno.
    The bird repeated this behavior at the amazement of the other animals and soon they begin to laugh at her. They asked “What are you doing you silly bird? You can’t put out that fire with one drop of water even if you spend your life doing it.” The bird took a breath and said ” I know, but at least I know I tried and a river, waterfall, or an ocean begins with one drop of water. ” And with this the little bird returns to its task.
    It’s all in your actions Joe; and how you feel you want to give; remembering a single drop of water is the beginning of an ocean. the reward; you know you did what you could do.

    Enough of that; whose next to sing?

    “You got to fight…
    For your right….
    To Parrrrrrrty!!!!
    The Beastie Boys

    #63084
    Anonymous
    Guest

    thank you for that wonderful story mandara k
    take heart super joe i know we all feel frustrated that we can’t do more to help in this world, but maybe if we just try to help the people around us in our home towns those droplets could turn into the river that turns into the ocean that we need.

    ok now who wants a free drink? all you have to do is recite one line from any play or sonnet by Shakespeare. *cheating is allowed* c’mon who’s first?

    #63085
    Anonymous
    Guest

    and maybe if we ask nicely thevodkacircle will give us a few songs. not that i don’t like the karaoke singing, i love it, but we need to let our house band have some fun too!

    #63086
    Anonymous
    Guest

    No offense, Mr VodkaCircle sir, but before you have a go, why not let me have a go first? For I am AltairEgomaniac, artiste extraordinarissimo, lovemachine, macho yet sensitive (leastaways that’s what the chicks like, last I heard), and leagues ahead in the looks department than any ‘JOE-YAMA-SUPERHUMAN’ . Now, dim the lights and let the maestro of perfection do his lyrical thang….

    Altair the mighty,
    roams through the countryside,
    he never needs a place to hide,
    never needs a side-kick,
    playing with a little stick,
    Righting wrongs and singing songs,
    Being mighty all day long,
    He’s Altair, Altair the mighty!

    Altair the mighty,
    he’s so very tidy,
    Everyone admires him,
    he’s so perfect it’s a sin,
    Look up perfect in the dictionary,
    His handsome face you will see,
    Now everybody sing with me!

    He’s Altair the Mighty
    Manly epitome,
    He’s every woman’s fantasy,
    Ev’ry man’s envy,
    Plus he’s good company,
    The guy you’d want your kids to be!
    Look out!
    Golly-Gee!
    It’s Altair, Altair the Mighty,
    It’s Altair…Altair the Mighty!

    Thank you, thank you all! Now, now, don’t crowd around ladies, there’s enough of me to go around, remember, ’tis better to give than recieve, that sort of thing!

    #63087
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Sitting the bar with the faint sound of a heavenly chorus emanating from around him, the very act making his seat an object of religious significance to all the bar’s women, his halo of golden light almost obscuring his finely chiseled romance novel hero face, JOE-YAMA-SUPERHUMAN listens to mandra k’s story, then turns to his not-quite-as perfect brother.

    Verily, mine sibling, that tale hath much merit in its words, and much wisdom hath its teller, in knowing it. Heed his words, for they shalt help thee in facing the vagaries of our lives. I for one, shall remember this tale, and take its words to heart.

    super_joe_yamaman raises towards mandra k and his brother his glass, his seventeenth. So far. In the last ten minutes.

    Yur, that’s right mandy kay! I thought that was verra boot….beet….bootylicious? Nevermind, what m’brother sed. The necksht round is onna me! To wossname, for inshpiring me to deeder greats! (he topples over, spilling his drink over him. It is of course, Mad Dog 20/20. JOE-YAMA-SUPERHUMAN sighs)

    ‘Tis a most sad sight, this, my own flesh and blood sprawled unceremoniously unto the floor. But what may’st I do? He is my brother, and I must do my duty by him. :cool Turns to snooklepie) Milady, I must compliment thee on thy singing. I hath heard few who could match thee in both voice and melody.

    JOE-YAMA-SUPERHUMAN then looks at AltairEgomaniac waiting for autographs with a pained look on his finely chisel’d features.

    My good sir, while thou art waiting for the praise which thou undoubtedly deserve (the halo dims and the heavenly choir stops while he says this), why not thou allow the house band display their diverse talents? I hath heard their music, and though I wish to offend thee not, I must say that their music is in diverse ways better than thine(the halo’s brightening and the heavenly choir’s singing is amplified so much while he says this, that for a while, JOE-YAMA-SUPERHUMAN has to pause while the halo dims down and people can see again, and the singing lowers to a point where he doesn’t have to shout to say anything)
    and that I for one, would like to listen to them(once again, the blinding halo and deafening singing, as well as the wait).

    super_joe_yamaman, who’s woken up by this time, downs another Mad Dog

    YEEEAAAHHH! Let’sh have the VodkaShircle! Let’sh have vodka! Let’sh have a vodka and Mad Dog chasher! Let’sh shebrilate my nout votim….vrooming….PUKIN’ yet! YEEEEEHAAAAA!

    [ 25-03-2002: Message edited by: super_joe_yamaman ]

    #63088
    Anonymous
    Guest

    quote:


    Originally posted by mary beth:

    ok now
    who wants a free drink? all you have to do is recite one line from any play or sonnet by Shakespeare. *cheating is allowed* c’mon who’s first?


    *grabs her William Shakespeare, The Complete Works book from a book shelf* you said I could cheat!

    *opens to a random page* King Henry V, I kid you not, I actually opened it up to that.

    *closes her eyes and picks a line sith her finger*

    “List his discourse of war, and you shall hear
    A fearful battle render’d you in music:
    Turn him to any cause of policy,
    The Gordian knot of it he will unloose…”

    I’ll have a …diet pepsi please!

    [ 25-03-2002: Message edited by: Praxilla ]

    #63089
    Anonymous
    Guest

    oh, Superhuman… you have been my knight in shining armour tonight.. and you do know how to flatter a girl. would like my autograph? it’ll be worth more than that other idiot’s… i’m going to be a star, you know…
    (crash, slump..)

    I think your bro wants picking up off the floor again…

    Barkeep!! Newky Brown please, no glass..a mineral water for this handsome devil by my side, …..and a bucket for this idiot on the floor. he doesn’t look too well…

    #63090
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Gather round for this is the tale told once by Plato and now retold by me:

    The Cave Analogy

    Truly imagine youself in the past. Un-remember all you have known and will know. Imagine then that 3 men are taken at birth. These 3 children are taken at pure innocence, not knowing anything about the world. The 3 children are taken to a Cave. A Cave deep inside with a rock facing the back end of the cave. The 3 infants are placed against the rock, forever for the rest of their life to face the back wall of the Cave. Nothing else will these 3 ever see other than the shadows flickering daily upon the back of the Cave.

    No perspective will these 3 children have growing up other than the back wall of the cave. Daily they will see shadows moving back and forth, but all around them is darkness and dirt and rock. For years all they have is each other, and the shadows on the back of the cave. But these children are now men and have long since learned ways of communicating with one another.

    Daily they discuss the shadows, but never once do they wonder “What more is there?” because for them there is only the Cave. It is *reality*. They have no knowledge of suffering, war, poverty, language, knowledge, science. They only know their Shadows and the back wall of the Cave.

    As years passed the men began to grow into old age. They still discussed their shadows and the shadows they saw moving about for awhile only to cease then begin again at a later time in regular intervals.

    However one day a Liberator came. This Liberator wordlessly unchained one of the men and left. Confused the man that was released refused to leave the only 2 people he had ever known.

    The 2 remaining chained men begged that the 3rd go out and see what else there was to be seen. It may not be much for in their years they had learned all that could be learned about the Shadows and the Cave itself. But there must be more, what’s behind them in the Cave for example? While it might just be the same as their side they still wanted to know.

    Reluctantly the Free-Man agreed and would return after a short time with tales of what he had seen.

    The Free-Man turned from the rock for the first time in his life and was nearly blinded by a strong orange light. It was flickering and had strange brown and black rocks fueling it. Not being able to communicate he listented, and heard the people call these “logs” and “wood”. Such combinations allowed for things to give off warmth and light. When the Free-Man turned he noticed it was this “fire” that gave power to the Shadows and that the Shadows were nothing more than men like him and his other 2 Chained friends.

    As men moved about in their daily activities they created the Shadows on the wall of the Cave. Amazed the Free-Man ran back to his friends only having been away for a few moments.

    “Friends! You will never believe what I have found. The Shadows are men like us! They make great things called “Fire” which grant heat and light inside dark areas. And they also create the shadows we see on the wall!”

    The 2 chained men stared at their friend as if he had immediatly become a Stranger to them.

    “I will return again when I have more to tell!” the Free-Man claimed.

    For the first time in his life the Free-Man exited the Cave and before him was God himself. A huge enormous ball of Fire lay in the sky. The Free-Man fell to his knees crying and the marvel of what was before him. In the sky there was creatures chirping and moving about. The Free-Man jumped in the air to imitate them and perhaps join them but could not. Finally a few of the men around explained to him that what he saw were “birds” and “The Sun”. They also explained these things made up only a tiny miniscule part of the big picture. That there were also things like Rivers and Mountains. Countless types of animals, fish and bird.

    Realizing that much time had passed and he had only seen a small amount of what was to be seen he returned to the Cave with only one intention on his mind. To free his friends.

    As he returned he noticed his 2 friends talking about him in their language. They had grown afraid of him and felt he had somehow been changed for the worse.

    Shaken the Free-Man explained what he had seen. The chained-Men stared, infuriated by his lies. How could something like a huge ball of fire exist in the sky yet they never had known of it??? How could flying animals exist in a world that didnt even have a sky??? And how dare he suggest that thousands, even millions of other Men existed. The Cave was their world, their only perspective and this man was demon now.

    The Free-Man explained that he need only free them from their chains and they could see it for themselves. The Free-Man explained he spent an entire life with them and only a few moments without them and that once they had seen what he had seen their lives would be open and new.

    As the Free-Man began to release his friends, they nodded to each other and rapping their chains around his neck, strangled him.

    Years later as the 2 chained men finally died, they died happy men, secure that what they had lived, was truth.

    *Barkeep Ill have a Guinny and a shot of Stoli*

    #63091
    Anonymous
    Guest

    OY! Here’s another one to put a tear in your beer.

    ALL GONE

    Here I sit once again.
    Wondering why we must sin.
    Has a generation lost it’s imagination?
    Or are they scared to admit
    The mystic in all of us?
    They don’t need mind altering,
    just look deep, be true…
    When you sleep the same control
    Can come to you.
    Listen to what is being said,
    do it naturally or you’ll be dead.
    Maybe not your body,
    More often your head.
    Listen, please to the spirits
    Deep in your heart.
    If you deceive them,
    The rage will tear you apart.
    They demand to have a say,
    They will not be ignored,
    don’t look the other way.
    They will grow stronger
    Beyond your control.
    If you don’t listen,
    They’ll swallow you whole.
    Nothing left

    Nothing left…

    Nothing left…
    No soul.

    *gestures to bartender* Another Diet Pepsi please.

    [ 26-03-2002: Message edited by: Praxilla ]

    #63092
    dgrequeen
    Participant

    “The first thing we do… we kill all the lawyers.” – William Shakespeare, Henry V

    I’ll have a virtual Baileys please.

    #63093
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Sitting at the bar, too drunk to notice his brother having a mineral water with a lady, too drunk to notice the jealous ladies holding clubs with nails in behiind the lady, super_joe_yamaman surveys the generally gloomy mood in the bar,not including his brother’s date’s bliss nor the jealousy of the ladies behind her.

    Sheeeeeeeeesh, why is, hmmm? Whyis everybodydy so gloody bloomy t’night, hey? I mean, this is a pub, for wossname’s sake! Evybroddy’sh shupposed t’ be happy,laughing, kittens in a field fulla lambs with flour in their curls,that sorta thing!

    Rallight, thatsh it, I’ma gonanana pub upthis brighten even if it’sh the lasht wossname I thingy.

    super_joe_yamaman steps up to the karaoke machine. Luckily for him, Lars is in the bathroom.

    Yeah, uh, uh
    Yeah
    It’s the world’s greatest
    It’s the world’s greatest
    C’mon, yeah
    The world’s greatest

    I am a mountain, I am a tall tree, oh
    I am a swift wind sweepin’ the country
    I am a river down in the valley, oh
    I am a vision and I can see clearly

    If anybody asks you who I am
    Just stand up tall
    Look ’em in the face and say

    I’m that star up in the sky
    I’m that mountain peak up high
    Hey, I made it
    I’m the world’s greatest
    And I’m that little bit of hope
    When my back’s against the ropes
    I can feel it
    I’m the world’s greatest

    (The world’s greatest, yo)
    (The world’s greatest ever)

    I am a giant, I am an eagle, oh
    I am a lion, down in the jungle
    I am a marchin’ band, I am the people, oh
    I am a helping hand, I am a hero

    If anybody asks you who I am
    Just stand up tall
    Look ’em in the face and say

    I’m that star up in the sky
    I’m that mountain peak up high
    Hey, I made it
    I’m the world’s greatest
    And I’m that little bit of hope
    When my back’s against the ropes
    I can feel it
    I’m the world’s greatest

    In the ring of life I’ll reign love
    And the world will notice a king
    When all is darkest, I’ll shine a light
    And use a success you’ll find in me

    I’m that star up in the sky
    I’m that mountain peak up high
    Hey, I made it
    I’m the world’s greatest
    And I’m that little bit of hope
    When my back’s against the ropes
    I can feel it
    I’m the world’s greatest

    I’m that star up in the sky
    I’m that mountain peak up high
    Hey, I made it
    I’m the world’s greatest
    And I’m that little bit of hope
    When my back’s against the ropes
    I can feel it
    I’m the world’s greatest

    I’m that star up in the sky
    I’m that mountain peak up high
    Hey, I made it
    I’m the world’s greatest
    And I’m that little bit of hope
    When my back’s against the ropes
    I can feel it
    I’m the world’s greatest

    I saw the light
    At the end of a tunnel
    Believe in the pot of gold
    At the end of the rainbow
    And faith was right there
    To pull me through, yeah
    Used to be locked doors
    Now I can just walk on through
    Hey, uh, hey, hey, hey
    It’s the greatest
    I’m that star up in the sky

    I’m that star up in the sky
    I’m that mountain peak up high
    Hey, I made it
    I’m the world’s greatest
    And I’m that little bit of hope
    When my back’s against the ropes
    I can feel it
    I’m the world’s greatest

    super_joe_yamaman, steps down from the mike. Although there are tears in his eyes, there is also a smile on his face. “Dedicated to Mohammed Ali, MY hero” he whispers.

    #63094
    Anonymous
    Guest

    *Praxilla’s ears bleed. She notices _someone_ has cranked up that darn singing machine of torture. She further notices Lars is busy somewhere else. Gripped by the human trait of feeling a little nuts, it’s coming up on a full moon, she grabs the titanium darts from the dart board and takes out the karaoke machine*

    *pop*

    *fizz*

    *with a nod and a smile she turns to the bar*
    April 7th I have to put up with a state sponsored propaganda musical fest other wise known as a school music program. No reason to start the torture early.

    A Kamikazee please.

    #63095
    mandara k
    Participant

    Yikes, make room;the pretty boys are here!!

    I got to get out of here before it gets too strange. You know, when a guy angles a chair so he can look at himself all night in the mirror behind the bar. Hey Narccissus you want to park the chariot outside or may be you should go; they may need that on Olympus this evening.
    IS THERE ONE GOOD MAN IN HERE THAT DOES NOT BUY INTO THE ILLUSION THAT GOOD LOOKS EQUATE GOOD PERSON?????

    Alright i’M CALM, I need a shot; no no no, Mad Dog and I have danced too close to edge, thank you very much.

    C’mon somebody sing; I’m sorry I spoiled the evening; I just get so frustrated sometimes. It’s silly how we place value on some things and ignore the more important things. May be I should borrow the chariot and have Pegasus whisk me away to another place.

    Mandara’s head hits the table; out cold

    #63096
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Lars could you help me get Mandara K into the back room on the cot so she can sleep this off. she is going to have a heck of a headache in the morning!

    #63097
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Praxilla why did you have to hurt our karaoke machine? how else are we going to keep super joe from hitting on the ladies!

    Lars i believe it is time to break out that tool kit and see if you can fix it.

    #63098
    Anonymous
    Guest

    quote:


    Originally posted by mary beth:
    Praxilla why did you have to hurt our karaoke machine? how else are we going to keep super joe from hitting on the ladies!

    Lars i believe it is time to break out that tool kit and see if you can fix it.


    Slowry, the full moon and Spring restlessnesslessness got to me. Was a pretty good shwot, no? *hic*

    *staggers outside and howls at the full moon. Fortunately, the cool fresh Spring air sobers her up a bit and she decides to go for a walk to find a pancake shop*

    #63099
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Bekka walks over to the bar wering a lot of black and looking very gothic. (the gothic thing is not that unusual but there is a definate reduction in material)

    downs a pint of larger and lime and looks at the two “heros”. after about 5 mins trying not to laugh she says

    “so which one of you wants a fight?”

    #63100
    Anonymous
    Guest

    OIII!! i’ve noticed you there with the clubs. not a good idea. i’m a highly trained martial arts expert. (creakily drops into a preparatory stance….leather kind of restricts your movement…) bruce lee ain’t got owt on me. right then, who’s first???? (looks round to check bottle of newky brown is out of danger)

    #63101
    Anonymous
    Guest

    okay the karaoke machine is fixed.
    and to all the ladies holding clubs with nails in them, if you give the clubs to Lars i will give you all champagne and pizza.

    #63102
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Tables crash and glasses smash as super_joe_yamaman dances his little jig of joy now the karaoke machine is fixed. JOE-YAMA-SUPERHUMAN smiles indulgently at his brother’s antics.

    Ah, happy day, for mine sibling hath emerged from his grevious melancholy. I do, however apologise for the damage he doth cause in his capers. mayhap these will pay for the damages?

    In a blinding flash of light, JOE-YAMA-SUPERHUMAN emerges holding a flaming sword, white robes under platemail armour with a burning halo, accompanied by the Heven March, the divine answer to the Hell March

    Ooops.

    In ANOTHER flash of light, JOE-YAMA-SUPERHUMAN turns back into the utterly perfect opposite of his brother, with the exception of a bag of diamonds in his hand.

    Would this suffice to finance repairs?

    With diamonds in his hand that could not only fix up the bar, but remodel it to rival the Ritz and build an entire chain of the things in his hands, the bartender could only nod silently.

    Excellent! And I am sure that there is enough here to buy every person in this place a beverage, especially those two ladies ladies of quality who unfortunately risk their beauty in strife. Wouldst thou please accept my offer of drink freely given as a peace overture betwixt the two of thee?

    Meanwhile, super_joe_yamaman has reached the karaoke machine. Lars has shut himself in the bathroom with wax in his ears

    Arlight eb’ryvody, get redee for shome sherious sig….sim….MUSIC! A-One, A-Two, errr…. nevermind. Neverw’nted t’ cooont awynay. Goooooo Let’ssssssssssssssss!

    Wif de wortsh to summthing by Sheline Doin onna de skrin….

    If I had a perfect day
    I would have it start this way
    Open up the fridge and have a tall boy
    Yeah

    Then I’d meet up with my friends
    Head out to the game again
    We don’t even really care who wins

    Now excitement seems to grow
    When we’re hangin’ with the bro’s
    When we’re chillin’ and we pound a case of Stroh’s
    Now the game is cool to see
    You can “High 5” on TV
    Count the riot on the one two three
    Operation is in sight
    And the field is open wide
    When you break it then you know you’re still alive
    If the cops don’t make you pay
    And you make your getaway
    Then you know
    That’s one fine day

    On that day before we’re through
    We could torch a car or two
    Then have ourselves another tall boy
    Yeah

    Water hoses and batons
    That’s the real game that’s on
    I don’t really give a **** who wins

    Now excitement seems to grow
    When we’re hangin’ with the bro’s
    When we’re chillin’ and we pound a case of Stroh’s
    Now the game is cool to see
    You can “High 5” on TV
    Count the riot on the one two three
    Operation is in sight
    And the field is open wide
    When you break it then you know you’re still alive
    If the cops don’t make you pay
    And you make your getaway
    Then you know
    That’s one fine day

    I believe it’s my god-given right
    To destroy everything in my sight
    Cause it never gets dull, it never gets old
    The only thing it gets is more bold
    Drinkin’, fightin’, going to the game
    In our world it’s a way to stay sane
    If you’re asking me
    To have it my way, I’d say that’s
    One fine day

    Now excitement seems to grow
    When we’re hangin’ with the bro’s
    When we’re chillin’ and we pound a case of Stroh’s
    Now the game is cool to see
    You can “High 5” on TV
    Count the riot on the one two three
    Operation is in sight
    And the field is open wide
    When you break it then you know you’re still alive
    If the cops don’t make you pay
    And you make your getaway
    Then you know
    That’s one fine day

    Now THAT’sh whttaicall music!

    #63103
    mandara k
    Participant

    Mandara K stumbles out from the back room; bleary-eyed and confused.

    Where am I? Oh yeah, wasn’t I here last night?

    Gosh, I need coffee, Tylenol, and a cigarette in that order.

    What’s going on? What did I miss?

    Hey, is there going to be a fight? I sense
    blood in the air; I guess I’ll sit over here quietly and watch the action; hey I’m all for a good fight if it is clean, fair and not over something assinine like….. men, or just because you think you should be tough. That’s crap. Violence never solved a damn thing; but don’t let me stop you; kick the **** out of each other if you want to; as long as no body else gets hurt and since your hand isn’t on the big red button to blow us to kingdom come, get it out of your system so the rest of us can enjoy the evening.

    Or all this tough talk just fore-play, hmm? I say, skip the violence then and just take your little lover’s spat outside.

    I WANT COFFEE NOW!!!! Please.

    Who is going to sing? I WANT REGGAE!!!!!

    #63104
    Anonymous
    Guest

    hang on, did you just mention free beer??? woohoo!!! (immediately forgets any acts of violence, and turns back to the bar). I’ll have another Newky, Superhuman, if you’re offering… (smiles sweetly at the handsome devil at the bar). hey, anybody know any Iron Maiden??? Black Sabbath, maybe? (happy mode)

    #63105
    Anonymous
    Guest

    ok i wont agrivate the heros if you fill my glass with shampers.

    (who thinks marilyn mansons verion of tainted love is the best so far, are u with me?)

    bekka leves the pub after downing her free drink and sings stash up

    i dont give a F***
    not a single F***
    not a single solitary F***
    no i dont give a F*** mother F***er

    (sorry i dont know much older rock)

    #63106
    Anonymous
    Guest

    MM’s version of ‘Tainted Love’ is the dog’s testicles!!! let’s wind up the purists and put his version of ‘Sweet Dreams..’ as well!!!
    Woohoo!! i wanna party! Rock ‘n’ Roll 4ever!!! (jumps up onto table, guzzles beer out of bottle…)

    #63107
    mandara k
    Participant

    I haven’t heard MM like that before; I think I may have to investigate that.

    Wasn’t he in that move Jawbreaker too?

    Anyway, where was I?

    The story; LL “ignorance is bliss” basically; that’s a great attitude if the world was perfect; but it’s not and as time progresses this world will be harder and harder to live on. The ice walls are melting in Antartica; no relation? It means the seas will rise and coastal cities may have bigger problems and more water; warmer seas mean more El Nino, changes in weather, that adds up to tough times for us. So you can take the ignorance method; after all,
    you or I won’t live forever; but if you have kids or hope to, what kind of future do you leave them?
    Don’t get me wrong; I love to have a great time; but life is balancing it all out.
    I don’t consider myself a hero at all; I’m just trying to get by like you. Sometimes, just sometimes, though; you have to stand up to people and situations; otherwise nothing changes. So I chose to live a life of action not reaction. You chose your own way.
    You can react violently and that changes things, yes, this is true; but what has that done for any of us? Violence begets violence and we all take 2 steps back really to the cave; we all die because we blow up the planet over piddly stuff or natural disasters destroy it for us and we all perish.

    Hell, what do you care? You’ll be in heaven right after you die (doubtful) or you’ll just be wormfood (wasted life)

    You see what I’m like if I don’t get coffee; you don’t even want to go there if It’s MadDog.

    Mandara K

    #63108
    Anonymous
    Guest

    and on that note i am going to lock this thread and start another. the BB gets wobbly after 40 posts!

Viewing 41 posts - 1 through 41 (of 41 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.