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Okay. We all love quotes, but now how about some clichés? You know, all those situations, quotes, props, technologies, or characters that appear way too many times(enough to earn a mention on MST3K, for instance). This is a little harder, but I’m sure some of you guys have plenty you can list right off the top of your head.
My first cliché is an easy one:
The Hero(and his friends) running/riding/flying away from the exploding planet/spacestation/castle/colony/dying preditor/etc. while a Holst/Williamsian theme thunders in the background.“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
“We gotta get outta here.”
“It’s gonna blow!”
“Nooo!”
“That’s just crazy.”
“Does anybody have a better idea?”
RAILING DEATH
As illustrated in MST3K episode, #820 Space Mutiny. In any fight/chase scene, bad guys getting tossed over the side of of the catwalk/very-high-place. If this involves stumbling over a railing, this is known as railing death.THE IMPERIAL STORMTROOPER ACADEMY OF MARKSMANSHIP
In said firefights, all badguys will miss. The less clothing the heroes wear, the less likely they will be hit by badguys.SCREAMING FEMALES
Not so common these days. Useless female that only screams during stressful situations. As illustrated by Tess Trueheart on Star Trek: Voyager. That’s why Zev/Xev is so cool!more to come…
[ 06-10-2001: Message edited by: Flamegrape ]
The old scientist father with the beautiful,young “marryin’age” daughter and of course,the available,rugged bachelor assistant to the old man.
Phrases:”This is our only chance.If this doesn’t work,we’ll be stuck on this rock FOREVER!
“Oh,that? It’s just a little rash.”
A common, everday, perfectly normal human male getting thrown by a twist of fate into a wacky sci-fi scenario.
Examples: Crighton in Farscape, Arthur Dent in HHG, Stan in Lexx, etc.
quote:
Originally posted by Flamegrape:
THE IMPERIAL STORMTROOPER ACADEMY OF MARKSMANSHIP
In said firefights, all badguys will miss. The less clothing the heroes wear, the less likely they will be hit by badguys.
There’s a second clause that states that the first shots will always warn the heroes in a most spectacular manner.
My favourite would have to be following equation of physics:
Constant Thrust = Constant Velocity
The Radio Is Broken
March 1983, 5:52 min.The cosmos at large
It’s so very big
It’s so far away
The comets . . . the craters . . . the vapors
The solar wind
The residual echoes . . . the residual echoes
The residual echoes . . . the residual echoes
The residual echoes from the giant explosion
Where they said it beginnedThe germs from space!
The negative virus knitwear
The blobulent suit
That’s right! THE BLOBULENT SUIT
It’s made of rubber, it’s very ugly . . .
It’s got an air hose . . .
(The guy that has it all has a Space Wrench!)The things that were supposed to be green in the black and white movies
They get you in the neck when you’re not looking
They get you, they get you, they get you, get you, get you
The radio is broken — it don’t work no more
The radio is broken — it don’t work no more
The lovely Lisa Kranston
Her father invented the secret fuel (that’s right!)
For the rocket,
So she gets to go with a clipboard
She writes it down when the meters go around
And falls in love in a space warp
Space warp
Space warpThe giant knobs
The porthole where you see the earth for the first time
The corrogated fiberglass interior walls
The partially reclining G-force lawn furniture
The brown hole
The pointed brasseries
The atomic war
The tiny little dresses on the space girls
A love starved race
Begging to reproduce with earthmen
They need to reproduce (with John Agar)
They need to reproduce (with Morris Ankrum)
They need to reproduce (with Richard Basehart)
They need to reproduce (with Jackie Coogan)
They need to reproduce (with Sonny Tufts)
The botchino . . . the botchino . . .
The botchino . . . the botchino . . .
The botchino . . . the botchino . . .
The gigantic spider
The co-pilot always plays the harmonicaThe navigator always gets killed by a bad space person
Uh-oh — the radio is broken
It don’t work anymore
The radio is broken
It don’t work anymore
The radio is broken
It don’t work anymore
We’ll never get back to the Earth no more
Uh-oh!
We have to fall in love on Uranus
The radio is . . .
That’s right — uh-oh
The radio is broken
The meteor storm
You spilled your coke
You’re stepping on the popcorn
JOHN AGAR!
Uh-oh . . .
(Dwarf Nebula)Frank Zappa (guitar, vocals, drum machine)
Steve Vai (guitar, acoustic guitar)
Ray White (guitar, vocals)
Roy Estrada (vocals)
Bob Harris (boy soprano)
Ike Willis (vocals)
Bobby Martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Tommy Mars (keyboards)
Arthur Barrow (keyboards, bass, micro bass, rhythm guitar)
Ed Mann (percussion)
Scott Thunes (bass)
Chad Wackerman (drums)
Vinnie Colaiuta (drums)
Craig Steward (harmonica)
Dick Fegy (mandolin)
Marty Krystall (saxophone)
quote:
Originally posted by Flamegrape:
The Radio Is Broken
March 1983, 5:52 min.
Dang. Anyone that quotes Zappa in response to this thread is okay in my book.
And, to prove that I’m okay in my book, let me enter for the record:Cheepnis
10 September 1974, 6:31 min.
ROXY & ELSEWHERECheepnis.
Let me tell you something, do you like monster movies?
Anybody?(YEAH!)
I love monster movies, I simply adore monster movies, And the cheaper they are, the better they are. And cheepnis in the case of a monster movie has nothing to do with the budget of the film, although it helps. But true cheepnis is exemplified by visible nylon Z
Okay, hopefully this will work this time.
Roxy & Elsewhere
Cheepnis
10 September 1974, 6:31 min.Cheepnis.
Let me tell you something, do you like monster movies?
Anybody?(YEAH!)
I love monster movies, I simply adore monster movies, And the cheaper they are, the better they are. And cheepnis in the case of a monster movie has nothing to do with the budget of the film, although it helps. But true cheepnis is exemplified by visible nylon strings attached to the jaw of a giant spider. I’ll tell you, a good one that I saw one time, I think the name of the film was “It conquered the world” (YEAH!) And the… Did you ever see that one? The monster looks sort of like an inverted ice-cream corn with teeth around the bottom. It looks like a, like a teepee or a sort of a rounded off pup-tent affair. And ah, it’s got fangs on the base of it, I don’t know why but it’s a very threatening sight. And then he’s got a frown and, you know, ugly mouth and everything, And there’s this one scene where the ah monster is coming out of a cave. See? There’s always a scene where they come out of a cave, at least once. And the rest of the cast…it musta been made around the 1950’s. The lapels are about like that wide, The ties are about that wide and about this short, And they always have a little revolver that they’re gonna shoot the monster with. And there is always a girl who falls down and twists her ankle. Hey hey! Of course there is! You know how they are, the weaker sex and everything, Twisting their ankle on behalf of a little ice-cream corn. Well in this particular scene, In this scene folks, they ah, they didn’t wanna re-take it ’cause it musta been so good they wanted to keep it, but they… When the monster came out of the cave, just over on the left hand side of the screen you can see about this much two-by-four attached to the bottom of the Thing as the guy is pushing it out, And then obviously off-camera somebody’s goin’: “No! Get it back!” …and they drag it back just a little bit as the guy is goin’: “KCH! KCH!” Now that’s cheepnis.
Right. And this is cheepnis here: One two three four…
I ate a hot dog
It tasted real good
Then I watched a movie
From Hollywood(repeat)
Little Miss Muffett on a squat by me
Took a turn around, I said: Can y’all see?
The little strings on the Giant Spider?”
The Zipper From The Black Lagoon?
The vents by the tanks where the bubbles go up?
(And the flaps on the side of the moon)The jelly & paint on the 40 watt bulb
They use when the slime droozle off
The rumples & the wrinkles in the cardboard rock
And the canvas of the cave is too softThe suits & the hats & the tie’s too wide
And too short for the scientist man
The chemistry lady with the roll-away mind
And the monster just ate JapanLadies and gentlemen,
The monster,
Which the peasants in this area call FRUNOBULAX
(Apparently a very large poodle dog)
Has just been seen approaching The Power Plant
Bullets can’t stop it
Rockets can’t stop it
We may have to use NUCLEAR FORCE!HERE COMES THAT POODLE DOG!
BIG AS A BLIMP WITH A RHINESTONE COLLAR
SNAPPIN’ OFF THE TREES
LIKE THEY WAS BONSAI’D ORNAMENTS ON A
DRY-WOBBLE LANDSCAPE
KEEP IT AWAY! DON’T LET THE POODLE BITE ME!
WE CAN’T LET IT REPRODUCE! OH!
SOMEBODY GET OUT THE PANTS!The National Guard has formed up at the base
of the mountain
And is attempting to lure the enormous poodle
towards the cave
Where they hope to destroy it with napalm
A thousand of the troopers are now lined up
and are calling to the monster…
Here Fido
Here Fido
Here FidoGOT A GREAT BIG SLIMEY THING
GOT A GREAT BIG HEAVY THING
GOT A GREAT BIG POODLE THING
GOT A GREAT BIG HAIRY THING(repeat)
C’mon! Everybody! Let’s go!
Get the distilled water! Get the canned goods!
Get the toilet paper! You know we need it!GO TO DA SHELTER
MY BABY, MY BABY,
GO TO DA SHELTER
GO TO DA SHELTER(repeat)
Little Miss Muffett on a squat by me,
Can ya see the little string danglin’ down
Makes the legs go wabble an’ the mouth flop shut
An’ the HORRIBLE EYE, HORRIBLE EYE, HORRIBLE EYE
Go rollin’ around
Can y’see it all
Can y’see it from here
Can y’laugh till yer weak on yer knees
If you can’t, I’m sorry `cause that’s
all I wanna know
I need a little more cheepnis please
Baby, I’m sorry `cause it’s all I wanna know
I need a little more cheepnis please
Baby, I’m sorry `cause it’s all I wanna know
I need a little more cheepnis please(etc. repeats)
Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
George Duke (keyboards, synthesizer, vocals)
Tom Fowler (bass)
Ruth Underwood (percussion)
Jeff Simmons (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Don Preston (synthesizer)
Bruce Fowler (trombone)
Walt Fowler (trumpet)
Napoleon Murphy Brock (tenor saxophone, flute, lead vocals)
Ralph Humphrey (drums)
Chester Thompson (drums)
Debbie (background vocals)
Lynn (background vocals)
Robert Camarena (background vocals)–Aleck
[ 07-10-2001: Message edited by: Aleck ]
quote:
Originally posted by siglum:
any time there’s a count down with a clock
of some kind that shows the remaining seconds
until total disaster happens. every time i
see a scene in a show like that i’m just so
enthralled by the suspense, you just never
know if the hero/heroine will be able to save
the day…
What about not just showing a clock, but also having the clock unrealisticly counting down. It’s usually going way to slow. I also have to agree with the screaming females thing. There seems to be some sort of sidekick cliche. Maybe, they can be stupid or funny.
Galaxy Quest cashes in on so many of these clichés, its so funny.
My favorite part of Galaxy Quest (I can’t remember it exactly, but it’s something like this):
“Aw, they’re so cute and little…”
“Don’t go near them, you guys! In a minute they’re gonna get mean, and they’re gonna get ugly, and there’s gonna be lots more of ’em! Don’t you guys ever watch the show?!”
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