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Well, we has something like this in the LEXX bord so I thought hey, way not here to!!!
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I am the crusaderSpecific Quotes:
“And so it begins.”
“May the Force be with you.”
“You will be assimilated, resistance is futile.”
“The truth is out there.”
“In space no one can hear you scream.”
“No matter where you go, there you are.”
“Don’t panic.”
“Klaatu barada nikto.”
“There is no fate but what we make.”
“You can hope and pray that there’s intelligent life in outer space ’cause there sure as hell ain’t damn much here on Earth.”
Generic Quotes:
“Nooo!”
“We’ve got to get out of here.”
“It’s gonna blow!”
“I have a bad feeling about this.”
“That’s just crazy!”
“Does anybody have a better idea?”
My Signature:
——————“Exterminate!” -Dalek warrior, The Daleks: Episode 4-The Ambush
“Feel the power of the dark Crystal!” -skekTek the Scientist, The Dark Crystal
“I will love you forever!” -drone #790, Lexx 1.1: I Worship His Shadow
[This message has been edited by DalekTek790 (edited July 07, 2001).]
C3PO: Artoo_are_you_sure_this_is_safe?_(Argh!_Spacebar_not_working!)
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Yoda of Borg are we: Futile, resistance is. Assimilate you, we will. Hmmm?C3PO: Artoo_are_you_sure_this_is_safe?_(Argh!_Spacebar_not_working!)
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Yoda of Borg are we: Futile, resistance is. Assimilate you, we will. Hmmm?Its in his leg i think we are going to have to amputate.
NO they cant, dont take it please dont let them take the leg.
Its heading for his testicles!
Take it!!! Take the leg!!!!
(ive got that on the startup of my phone.
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“Its Going down his leg i think we are going to have to amputate.
“No, dont take the leg, dont let them take the leg, they cant take the leg!!!”
“Its heading for his testicles”
“Take it, take the leg!!!”Hehehe! Now that was a good one!
Star Gate SG-1 quote:
Daniel:We can never say where it came from.
Jack
amn! Guess I´ll have to cancel that Oprah intervue.Teai´C:What is an Oprah?
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I am the crusaderyeah I thought mine was good, Comedy quotes are so much more memorable than anything else.
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“Its Going down his leg i think we are going to have to amputate.
“No, dont take the leg, dont let them take the leg, they cant take the leg!!!”
“Its heading for his testicles”
“Take it, take the leg!!!”A bunch of quotes from Babylon 5:
Sheridan: Now get the hell out of our galaxy, both of you!
Ivanova: Who am I? I am Susan Ivanova, Commander, daughter of Sophie and Andrei Ivanov. I am the right hand of vengeance, and the boot that is personally going to kick your sorry ass all the way back to Earth, sweetheart. I am Death Incarnate, and the last living thing you will ever see. God sent me.
Sinclair: Ready?
Delenn: Why do your people always if someone is ready just before you are going to do something massively unwise?
Sinclair: Tradition. Let’s go.That’s all I can think of for now…I’ll probably be back with more later.
(Oh, and my signature is one of my favorites, of course.)
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Gideon: I thought you said you don’t hold a grudge.
Galen: I don’t. I have no living enemies. At all.From Red Dwarf-
Rimmer: Well, I can’t say I’m totally shocked… You’ll bonk anything, won’t you, Lister!
Cat: This is my shiny thing, and if you try and take it off me, I may have to eat you.
Ace Rimmer: Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast.
Hitchiker’s Guide-
Marvin: I’ve got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side…
Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Complaints Division motto: Share and Enjoy!
RandaltI don’t know the title of the very B-scifi movie these two lines come from but any good B-scifi movie has them.
“What the hell was that?”
“I don’t know but it had tits and a ray gun.”——————
MonkeyHmm, there are so many good Star Wars and Bruce Campbell quotes. Where should I start? Okay, here we go –
1.”You’ll find I’m full of surprises” – Luke in Empire
2.”Stop that.” “Stop what?” “Stop that. My hands are dirty.” “My hands are dirty too. What are you afraid of?” “Afraid?” “You’re trembling.” (I can’t remember what’s next)… “I happen to like nice men.” “I’m a nice man.” “No, you’re not, you’re…” (interrupted by Harrison Ford’s lovely lips) – do I even need to say that this is Leia and Han in Empire
3.”First you wanna kill me. Now you wanna kiss me. Blow.” – Ash in Army of Darkness
4.”Hail to the king baby.” – Ash in AOD
5.”We’re gonna get you, we’re gonna get you. Not another peep. Time to go to sleep.” – deadite Linda in The Evil DeadI’m gonna eat you little fishy, I’m gonna eat you little fishy! Cat
This is mine, and this is mine and alllll this is mine, except that: I don’t want that bit. Also Cat
Now everyone sing along:-
I want to lie shipwreaked and comatose,
Drinking fresh mango juice,
Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes,
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun…And let’s not forget:
Eleven minutes! And that includes the time it took to eat the pizza.
On Rimmer’s shagging experise. You’re going to asterisk me now aren’t you prudeboy?
Some Buffy Quotes:
Man:No! It is not possible! Wh-what are you? A Demon?
A vampire standing in the dark, walking forverd:Got it all wrong, pal. I´m no Demon. Fact is, they call me… Angel.
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Spike:The end of the world? Please. Look, mate I´m not laughing at you… well, okay, I am laughing at you. But honestly, this crap has got to be the biggest load of magic beans you ever bought into.
Angel:Finished?
Spike:No. Just a minute. …HA… Okay, now I´m finished.
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Buffy:Giles is in no shape to be watcher-guy.
Willow:How long doe you think he´ll be like that?
Xander:Good question. Geez, is´s not like your boyfriend killed the woman he loved or anything. Oh, wait. Actually, it´s exactly like that.
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Spike:The thing I love most about these old tombs? Tow words… Wheelchair… Accessible.
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Spike:Risking my life.. and Dru´s… for this… this… dead corpse?!?
Angel:They don´t make live ones. And I´d watch the tone, Hell-on-wheels.
Spike:The plan called for a living corpse, mate. This one, true to its name, is dead. It can´t move!
Angel:So? Neither can you.
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Man:You´re out of your leage, Mr,Giles.
Giles:Please. Call me Ripper.
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Enouth for now!
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I am the crusader“And so it begins”
I have to say this as I walk into my workplace, makes the rest of the day surreal. As if my life needs to be surreal.——————
MonkeyOkay, I can’t remember exactly how this one goes, but here’s one from Farscape –
“Hey, I was lips, you were tongue” – John to Aeryn
Here’s my favorite from Aliens
“Game over man, game over” – Bill Paxton
And, I know that I’m screwing this one up too, but here goes one from Return of the Jedi –
“Together again.” “How are we doing?” “Same as always.” “That bad, huh.” – Luke and Han——————
“I love you” “I know” – Princess Leia and Han Solo
“First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me, blow” – Ash from Army of Darkness
“Darling, you idiot!” – Lum from Urusei Yatsura
“Who is this Anya!? Is she prettier than me!?” Xander’s sock puppet friend from Buffy the Vampire SlayerThe ones in my sig and
It’s a big rock
I can’t wait to tell all my friends they don’t have a rock this big-Spike Becoming pt 1——————
“No dictator, no invader, can hold an imprisoned population by the force of arms forever. There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom. Against that power governments, and tyrants, and armies can not stand. The Centauri learned this lesson once. We will teach it to them again. Though it take a thousand years, we will be free.” G’Kar (The Long Twilight Struggle)
Spike as Rachel – “Oh, how can I ever thank you, you mysterious black-clad hunk-of-a-knight thing?”
Spike as Angel -“No need, little lady. Your tears of gratitude are enough for me… You see… I was once a bad-ass vampire… but love — and a pesky curse — defanged me, and now, I’m just a BiiiiiiiGG FLUFF-Y PUPP-Y with BAD TEETH! No, not the hair… Never the hair…”
As Rachel – “But there must be some way I can show my appreciation…”
As Angel – “No, no… helping those in need’s my job… And working up a load of sexual frustration, and prancing away like a *magnificent poof* is *truly* thanks enough…”
As Rachel – “I understand… I have a nephew who’s gay, so…”
As Angel – “Say no more! Evil is still afoot… And I’m almost out of that Nancy-boy hair gel I like so much. Quickly! To the Angel-mobile! Away!” SpikeIvanova: I am not letting them leave here without say yes.
Marcus: Really? And how do you propose stopping them? Perhaps a big red and white sign with the word stop on it. I’ll put a bucket on my head and pretend to be the ancient Vorlon god Boogee.
Ivanova: That’s it!
Marcus: Fine all go get a bucket.
Ivanova: No. I meant the Vorlons. Open a com channel now.
-B5Marcus: You see? It’s like I’ve always said. You can get more with a kind word and a 2by4 than you can with just a kind word.
-B5Little boy: A naked American man stole my baloons. -An American Werewolf in Paris.
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“The Minbari say. . .something really profound.” -Marcus
(B5 blooper)Wake up! time to die! (Leon from Bladerunner)
I am holly the ships computer with an IQ of 6000, the same IQ as 6000 P.E. teachers. (Holly Red Dwarf)
quote:
Originally posted by roy batty:
Wake up! time to die! (Leon from Bladerunner)
I thought that was Axle Rose.
Okay, if the H.T.M.L. works, this should look real cool:
Blue is good.
Red is evil.TRFN[This message has been edited by DalekTek790 (edited August 12, 2001).]
Well, it’s not a quote, really, but one of my favourite moments in Red Dwarf was the look on Cat’s face when he emerged from, “you know… in the bushes” at the end of Backwards.
Oh, and my roomie’s favorite: “The dead do not poo.” –Kai
peace
summerdaysands“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.” -BladeRunner
“I’ve done questionable things” -BladeRunner
“If you feel you are not properly sedated, call immediately. Failure to do so may result in prosecution for criminal drug evasion.” -THX 1138
“It is by will alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of Safu that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stain, the stains become a warning. It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.” -Dune
“My mind is going” -2001
“This conversation can serve no purpose anymore” -2001“Don’t you laugh, damn you, don’t you laugh!” -A Clockwork Orange
“I don’t know you people. Why are you here? It does no good. Nothing changes, nothing. Get out or I’ll hurt you. I can’t help myself! I don’t want to hurt you. [mumble] Get out of this house before I kill you all!” – Legend of Hell House
“That machine has got to be destroyed…” -From Beyond
“Soylent Green is human meat” -Soylent Green
“Breeding is an ugly thing” -A Boy and His Dog
“It’s a condition of mental devergence, I find myself on the planet Olgo(?) part of a intellectual elite, perpared to subjugate the barbarian hordes on Pluto, but even though this is a totally convincing reality for me in everyway, never the less Olgo(?) is actually a construct on my psychee. I am mentally devergent in that I am escaping certain unnamed realities that plague my life here.” -12 Monkeys
“Black as midnight, black as pitch, blacker than the foulest witch.” -Legend
“I can feel the machines begin to leek and belch in my presence. I can hear the beating of her heart. She is like a slow delicious slug. I have only to close my hand to possess her.” -The Maxx
“I’m your deepest manifestation of conciousness” -The Maxx“All good people are asleep and dreaming” -Outer Limits (Keeper of the Purple Twilight)
“What’s wrong with you? What’s wrong with everybody in this crazy place?” -Twilight Zone (series)
antiZero
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SOYLENT GRUEN IST MENSCHENFLEISCH[This message has been edited by antizero (edited August 13, 2001).]
“I should have known. He was acting very peculiar for a dead assassin.” -Mantrid, Lexx
“You get everyone around you to do all the work and you don’t do a damn thing but stand there and look cryptic!” -Captain John Sheridan, Babylon 5
“4,391 irradiated haggis.” -Third Technician Arnold J. Rimmer, Red Dwarf
“You call yourself a Time Lord?!? A broken clock keeps better time than you. At least it’s right twice a day! -Tegan Jovanka, Doctor Who
“Well, hey, I didn’t spend all those years playing Dungeons & Dragons and not learn a little something about courage.” -Blaine Faulkner, The X-Files
“Asking female officers for their uniforms could lead to…misunderstanding” -Lieutenant Commandet Tuvok, Star Trek: Voyager
“Ziggy says there’s an 80% chance you’re here to play with matches…to play matchmaker.” -Rear Admiral Al Calavicci, Quantum Leap
“We all gonna die here, Q-Ball!” -Rembrandt Brown, Sliders
“Don’t worry about it. Two thirds of all americans don’t understand fractions. The other half don’t give a damn.” -Zach Smart, The New Get Smart
“Forget you! I’ll build my own lander…with hookers…and blackjack. In fact, forget the lander…and the blackjack. Ah, screw the whole thing.” -Bender, Futurama
“I have a bad feeling about this.” -Numerous characters, Star Wars
“Prophets don’t know everything.” -Kira, The Dark Crystal
“That’s it, man. Game over, man. Game over! -Private Hudson, Aliens
“I came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass…and I’m all out of bubblegum.” -John Nada, They Live
“Docile and controllable? You don’t go out much, do you?” -Preston Lennox, Species
——————
Lee P. Sherman, code name DalekTek790
Whovian, Froudian, Lexxian, etc.Death Race 2000
“You know Myra, some people might think you’re cute. But me, I think you’re one very large baked potato.” — “Machine Gun” Joe Viterbo
“Well, what does she expect? You leave your navigator lying around, naturally somebody is going to run over him.” — Matilda the Hun
Brazil
“Information Transit got the wrong man. I got the *right* man. The wrong one was delivered to me as the right man, I accepted him on good faith as the right man. Was I wrong?” — Jack Lint
“Listen kid, we’re all in it together.” — Harry Tuttle
Prince of Darkness
“Let’s talk about our beliefs, and what we can learn about them. We believe nature is solid, and time a constant. Matter has substance and time a direction. There is truth in flesh and the solid ground. The wind may be invisible, but it’s real. Smoke, fire, water, light — they’re different! Not as to stone or steel, but they’re tangible. And we assume time is narrow because it is as a clock — one second is one second for everyone! Cause precedes effect — fruit rots, water flows downstream. We’re born, we age, we die. The reverse NEVER happens. …None of this is true! Say goodbye to classical reality, because our logic collapses on the subatomic level … into ghosts and shadows.” — Professor Edward Birack
“I’ve got a message for you, and you’re not going to like it. “Pray for death.” — Wyndham
A Clockwork Orange
“I was cured all right.”
“Viddy well, little brothers, viddy well.”
“There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie and Dim. And we sat in the Korova Milkbar, trying to make up our razudoks what to do with the evening. The Korova Milkbar sold milk-plus; milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and get you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence.” — Alex DeLarge“TRY the WIIINE.” — Frank Alexander
–Aleck
quote:
Originally posted by antizero:
SOYLENT GRUEN IST MENSCHENFLEISCH
Oh, I can do that.
DER GEWUERZ IST DIE WURM
DIE WURM IST DER GEWUERZThis isn’t anywhere near an exact quote – more of a “gist”
from HGTTG
Arthur asks “what’s it like?”
Ford says “it’s a little like being drunk”
Arthur asks “what’s so bad about that?”
Ford says “ask a glass of water”-‘Now, weary traveler
Rest your head
For just like me
You’re utterly dead.’-I heard this for the first and last time when I was six, and it has haunted me ever since;
‘Fly, little Gucci angel! Fly!
. . .it broke.’-‘Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway so I don’t know why I said it. . .oh God I’m so depressed.’
-‘Hello hello! Testing, testing, one one one, me me me! Attention lady Cats! I am feeling incredibly sexy!
just two – for now
“Well, if I am mad, there are certain… pleasures in being mad that only a madman knows.” – FirstWave
“I love Dead Thing Pie!” – anonymous peasant from Lexx
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spooooondead thing pie!
Much Madness is divinest Sense-
To a discerning Eye-
Much Sense-the starkest Madness-
‘Tis the Majority
In this, as All, prevail-
Assent-and you are sane-
Demur-you’re straightaway dangerous-
And handled with a Chain-– Emily Dickinson
God, just thought of the best one ever.
in the immortal words of Shannon Foraker “oops”
for those with no idea what I’m talking about, poor deprived souls that you are, it’s somewhere in the last pages of Ashes of Victory by Daivid Weber in the Honor Harrington series, it’s when the evil StateSec goons are closing in on the still honorable Peeps and stalwart Shannon sends the oh-so-innocent computer telemetry over to their ships, and… well, can’t spoil it for those yet to discover the Harrington universe and glad to provide some motivation for someone to do so. (Start with On Basilisk Station, though)
For me:
“For in much wisdom is much grief; and one that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow” – Ecclesiastes 1:18For you:
“Seek, and ye shall find.” – Matthew 7:7[This message has been edited by brainplague (edited August 25, 2001).]
Memorable Quotes from
Tank Girl (1995)Tank Girl: This comet came crashing into the earth. BAM! Total devastation. No celebrities, no cable TV, *no water*! It hasn’t rained in 11 years. Now, 20 people gotta squeeze into the same bathtub. So it ain’t all bad.
——————————————————————————–
Booga: I was a dog, but because I was really good, they moved me up to human being status. [Looks down his mutant body.] Ehh… sort of.——————————————————————————–
[The Rippers are deciding what to do with Tank Girl and Jet Girl.]
T-Saint: I say we kill ’em!
Donner: I say we hump ’em.——————————————————————————–
Tank Girl: [has the Madam captive] Now – everybody throw down your guns or I scrape off all her make up! [considers the Madam’s face] This might take a really long time.——————————————————————————–
Tank Girl: Ladies, lock up your sons!——————————————————————————–
Donner: Wanna dance?
Jet: I don’t know how.
Donner: It’s okay, I brought the condoms!——————————————————————————–
Tank Girl: Look, it’s been swell, but the swelling’s gone down.——————————————————————————–
Tank Girl: Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry sh*t continues just shoot me now please.——————————————————————————–
Tank Girl: You gotta think about it like the first time you got laid. You gotta go: “Daddy, are you sure this is right?”——————————————————————————–
Tank Girl: I’m gonna hit you so hard, your children will be born bruised!——————————————————————————–
Tank Girl: I’m too young for this sh*t!——————
spooooondead thing pie!
Much Madness is divinest Sense-
To a discerning Eye-
Much Sense-the starkest Madness-
‘Tis the Majority
In this, as All, prevail-
Assent-and you are sane-
Demur-you’re straightaway dangerous-
And handled with a Chain-
– Emily Dickinson[This message has been edited by brainplague (edited August 25, 2001).]
Aaaargh. Do you understand now the monster you have created? The unendurable temptation you have thrown in front of the person who owns Quotable Quotes volumes I – XII, the person who obsessively writes down every single line that has struck her as profound, funny, practical, interesting, etc. in every single book, movie, site, etc. that she has ever seen, the person who is a well-known guest at every quote site, bb, chat, etc. no matter how obscure? Aaargh, the agony of quotes will soon be upon you all! D*mn you, erm-hold on while I check- yeah, ok, crusader, d*mn you to the bleakest h*ll!! Um, no offense crusader.
Ever so sorry for the quotes people, it’s that whole O-C thing.
Quotes from Teenage Catgirls in Heat
———————————————
[Ralph and Warren are out searching for cats.]
Ralph: So, what do we do if we actually catch one?
Warren: We interrogate ’em. Find out where their meeting place is, what they know about this statue.
Ralph: OK. Do you speak to them in cat or do they speak English like Mr. Ed?
Warren: After twenty years, I can tell by their reactions whether the answer is yes or no.
Ralph: And what have you found out?
Warren: Well, I think I’ve been asking the wrong questions.———————————————
Ralph: My last girlfriend was psychic. She kept accusing me of things I hadn’t done yet.Time Bandits
Supreme Being: Dead? No excuse for laying off work.
———————————————
Evil: If I were creating a world, I wouldn’t mess about with butterflies and daffodils! I would’ve started with lasers, eight o’clock, day one!———————————————
Randall: We made trees and shrubs. We helped make all this.
Kevin: Whew! That’s not bad.
Randall: Yeah. But did we get a thimble full of credit for it? No! All we got was the sack. Just for creating the Pink Bunkadoo.
Kevin: Pink Bunkadoo?
Randall: Yeah. Beautiful tree that was. Og designed it. 600 feet high, bright red, and smelled terrible.———————————————
Randall: Look, do you want to be leader of this gang?
Strutter: No, we agreed: No leader!
Randall: Right. So shut up and do as I say.———————————————
Randall: Well, this map, Kevin, used to belong to the Supreme Being.
Kevin: You mean you stole it?
Randall: No, no. Well, sort of.———————————————
Randall: People who are always right make me sick!
Fidget: That’s why you get along with yourself so well!———————————————
Wally: Lads! Here’s to stinking rich!
All: Yeah!
Fidgit: And to Kevin.
All: Yeah, Kevin!
Og: Stinking Kevin.———————————————
Robin Hood: And how long have you been a robber?
Strutter: Four foot one.
Robin Hood: Four foot one? Well, that… that… that… that… is a long time, isn’t it? Jolly good!———————————————
Wally: Vermin, that is not meant to be eaten!
Vermin: You never know until you’ve eaten it!———————————————
Supreme Being: I am the Supreme Being, I’m not entirely dim.———————————————
Evil: Oh Benson, dear Benson, you are so mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence.———————————————
Supreme Being: I’m going to transfer you to the undergrowth department … bracken, small shrubs … with a nineteen percent cut in salary, backdated to the beginning of time.
Randall: Oh, thank you, Sir.
Supreme Being: Yes, well, I am the nice one.———————————————
Wally: I’m sorry I killed you, Fidgit!———————————————
Randall: Heroes, bah! What do they know about an honest day’s work?———————————————
Kevin: Mom! Dad! It’s evil! Don’t touch it!———————————————
Kevin: It’s some kind of invisible barrier.
Fidgit: Oh, so that’s what an invisible barrier looks like.———————————————
Supreme Being: Do be careful! Don’t lose any of that stuff. That’s concentrated evil. One drop of that could turn you all into hermit crabs.The Thing
Garry: I know you men have been through a lot, but if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather not spend the rest of this winter TIED TO THIS F*CKING COUCH!!
———————————————
Clark: I dunno what the h*ll’s in there, but it’s weird and p*ssed off whatever it is.———————————————
[Norris’ head grows legs and tries to walk away.]
Palmer: You gotta be f*cking kidding me.Thumb Wars: The Phantom Cuticle
Hand Duet: A one-armed man killed my wife Sabrina, a working girl. Now I’m the fugitive and in clear and present danger. I should be presumed innocent but they’re playing patriot games with me.
———————————————
Black Helmut Man: I am your mother!p.s. p*ss is a bad word?!?
[This message has been edited by brainplague (edited August 26, 2001).]
Bender describing carnival arcade game to Amy:
c’mon it’s just like making love, y’know left, down, rotate 62 degrees, engage rotor…
——————
“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”-HHGTTG
You wants quotes? Well I’ll gives ya quotes.
More Star Trek quotes than you know what to do with. Enjoy.
“I am constant as the Northern Star.” — Chang over the Enterprise intercom
“I’d give real money if he’d shut up.” — McCoy to Spock (Star Trek VI)“Guess who’s coming to dinner” — Chekov (Star Trek VI)
“Don’t mess around with me or you’re through!” — Naval Commander
“Really? Can I go now?” — Chekov (Star Trek IV)“You’re not exactly catching us at our best” — Kirk
“That much is certain” — Spock (Star Trek IV)“No, I’m from Iowa. I only work in outer space.” — Kirk (Star Trek IV)
“Well Bones, do the new medical facilities meet with your approval?” — Kirk
“They do not. It’s like working in a damn computer center” — McCoy (Star Trek: TMP)“Would you three like to be alone?” — Troi to Picard and Data when she finds them stroking The Phoenix
“Eaten any good books lately?” — Q (to Worf) (Deja-Q)
“You’re so stolid. You weren’t like that before the beard.” — Q (Deja-Q)
“With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censored, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably.” — Captain Picard, quoting Judge Aaron Satie (The Drumhead)
“Fate protects fools, little children and ships named Enterprise” — Cmdr. Riker (Contagion)
“Synthetic Scotch, synthetic Commanders…” — Captain Scott, Scotty (Relics)
“Rom’s an idiot. He couldn’t fix a straw if it was bent.” — Odo, to Quark (Babel)
“All I ask is a tall ship, and a load of contraband to fill her with…” — Quark (Little Green Men)
“You are not in my shoes.” — Worf
“Too bad. You’d be amazed at what I can do in a pair of size 18’s.” — Dax (Looking for Par’Mach in All the Wrong Places)“At ease, Ensign, before you sprain something” — Janeway (Caretaker)
“Mr. Vulcan, nice to meet you!” — Neelix (Caretaker)
“Dimissed” — Janeway
[stands there dumbfounded] “B…but..” — Neelix
“That’s Starfleet for get out” — Janeway (The Cloud)“Why pretend we’re going home at all when all we’re really going to do is investigate every cubic millimter of this quadrant, aren’t we?” — The Doctor (The Cloud)
“Mr. Kim, we’re Starfleet officers. Weird is part of the job” — Janeway (Deadlock)
“Well Kathryn, you got us home.” — Chakotay
“Right place, wrong time.” — Janeway (Future’s End Pt. I)“Ever since my first day on the job as a Starfleet Captain, I swore I’d never let myself get caught in one of these Godforsaken paradoxes. The past is the future, the future is the past, it all gives me a headache.” — Janeway (Future’s End Pt. I)
“Vulcans. Deep down your all just a bunch of hypercondriacs.” — Paris (Future’s End Pt. I)
“Tuvok, did anyone ever tell you your a real freakasaurus?” — Paris (Future’s End Pt. II)
“And *you*…Mr. Leisure Suit…” — Rain Robinson
“There’s a name I haven’t considered…” — The Doctor (Future’s End Pt. II)“There’s coffee in that nebula!” — Janeway (The Cloud)
“What are you doing with that dog?” — Female Q
[Q and Janeway look at the dog in Janeway’s lap]
“I’m not talking about the puppy.” — Female Q (The Q and the Gray)“I didn’t mean to say that the Enterprise should be hauling garbage. I meant to say that it should be hauled away AS garbage” — Korax (The Trouble With Tribbles)
“Random chance seems to have operated in our favor” — Spock
“In plain, non-Vulcan English, we’ve been lucky” — McCoy
“I believe I said that, Doctor” — Spock (The Doomsday Machine)“Is there anyone on this ship, who even remotely, looks like Satan?” — Kirk
“I am not aware of anyone who fits that description, Captain” — Spock
“No, Mr. Spock, I didn’t think you would be” — Kirk (The Apple)“Mr. Spock, the women on your planet are logical. That’s the only planet in the galaxy that can make that claim.” — Kirk (Elaan of Troyius)
“Does everyone know about this grain but me?” — Kirk
“Not everyone, Kepten, it’s a Russian inwention.” — Checkov (The Trouble With Tribbles)“Emotional, isn’t she?” — Spock
“She has always been so.” — Sarek
“Indeed. Why did you marry her?” — Spock
“It seemed the logical thing to do at the time.” — Sarek (Journey To Babel)“The best diplomat that I know is a fully-loaded phaser bank.” — Lt. Cdr. Montgomery Scott (“A Taste of Armageddon”)
“Please, Spock, do me a favor … ‘n’ don’t say it’s `fascinating’…” — Dr. McCoy
“No… but it is… interesting…” — Spock (The Ultimate Computer)“… and tell Doctor McCoy, he should have wished me luck.” — Spock (The Immunity Syndrome)
“Shut-up, Spock! We’re rescuing you!” — McCoy
“Why, thank you, captain McCoy.” — Spock, to McCoy after he tells Kirk something about leaving him (The Immunity Syndrome)——————
“Jim, you don’t go around asking the Almighty for his I.D.!”
– McCoy (Star Trek V)Zap- What the hell is that thing?
Kif- That’s the mothership, sir.
Zap- Then what did we just blow up?
Kif- The Hubble Telescope.Oh boy, which of you geezers opened this massive can of worms? I want you to realise that I am a person with 24 hours of Red Dwarf tapes and a lot of time on her hands…
Rimmer: Lister, have you ever been hit over the head with a welding mallet?
Cat: I like my food to move
Lister: I’m a pantheist, not a smeggin’ frying pantheist
Kryten: No silicon heaven? Then where do all the calculators go?
Polymorph/Rimmer’s mum: The things this boy can do with Alphabetti Spaghetti!
Rimmer: IT’S A SMEGGING GARBAGE POD!
Cat: Hey Monkey, you’re sick. Sick, helpless and unconscious. If you weren’t my friend I’d steal your shoes.
Rimmer: Do you know what they say Canaries stands for? Convict’s Army Nearly All Retarded In-bred Evil Sheep-Shaggers.
Rimmer: Why don’t you smegging well smeg off, you annoying little smeggy, smegging smegger!
Cat: This has been a good day. I’ve eaten five times, I’ve slept six times and I’ve made a lot of things mine. Tomorrow, I’m gonna see if I can’t have sex with something!
Rimmer: I’m going places. Up up up the ziggeraut, lickety-split
Rimmer: I think we’re all beginning to lose sight of the real issue here, which is what are we going to call ourselves? I think it comes down to a choice between The League Against Salivating Monsters, or my personal favourite, the Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms, and their Rehabilitation into Society. Just one drawback – the abbreviation is CLITORIS.
Cat: I’m looking for a dream I had last month.
Rimmer: What about?
Cat: Me, three girls and a family-size tub of banana yoghurt.Kochanski: Do you know what you’re doing?
Lister: Hey…
(Kryten’s head explodes)
Kochanski: I thought you said you knew what you were doing.
Lister: No, I said ‘Hey’. If you’d let me finish the sentence I would have said ‘Hey, no I don’t.’Lister’s Confidence: Oxygen’s for losers.
Lister: I’m my own father. And Kris is my ex-girlfriend and my mum!
Cat: Bud, you should send this in to Playboy. I’ll bet you any money it’d get published.Birdman: Pete ate me. He ate me. He must be really out of sorts, he’s never eaten me before.
Lister: I’ve been tongue-hockeyed to death!
Psiren: How long has it been since you’ve made love to a woman?
Lister: I’ll admit it’s been a while.
Psiren: It’s been three million years.
Lister: I prefer to count in ice ages – then it’s only four. In leap ice ages it’s hardly even one.Rimmer: Lister, is that a cigarette you’re smoking?
Lister: No it’s a chickenCat: I’m looking so good today. If I looked any better I’d be illegal.
Holly: The highest form of life is man, and the lowest form of life is a man who has a train set.
Hollister: That’s classified information Karen. Who told you?
Dr Newton: The coffee machine on C deck
Hollister: That coffee machine. I’ll bust its ass down to tampon dispenser.Cat: I suggest we go all the way to brown alert.
Kryten: There’s no such thing as brown alert.
Cat: You won’t be saying that in a minute. And don’t say I didn’t alert you.Kochanski: Uh, guys, all the hazard approach lights are on. Although on this ship that can mean anything from we’re under attack to the baked potatoes are burning.
Rimmer: Come on Lister, you’ve dated worse.
Lister: Only due to very poor disco lighting.Cat: It’s a Cat word. It’s the sound you make when you get your sexual organs trapped in something. Jozxyqk!
Lister: Is it in the dictionary?
Cat: It could be. If you’re reading in the nude and you close the book too fast. Jozxyqk!!Kochanski: Now I’ve got to deal with a neurotic droid who’s obsessed with my pants drawer.
Kryten: You mean I’m not alone?! Oh, you meant me.Rimmer: This presented a most enormous moral dilemma. Technically, she would be my sister, and therefore unable to take me as her lover. Finally, after much soul-searching, I reluctantly decided: what the Hell. I just wouldn’t tell her.
Lister: Let’s get out there and twat it!
I hope you’re satisfied…
First, I’d like to thank Yvonne McGruder for her thorough(ly hilarious) list. I’d almost forgotten about some of those quotes. Priceless! Second, it was unfortunate that I’d already started reading Ms. McGruder’s contribution before I realized that it was probably not the best time to be eating. If you have ever inhaled a grain of rice while trying to swallow and laugh at the same time, you’ll know what I mean.
From now on, Yvonne, when I see your name on a post, I’ll save it until AFTER my lunch hour.
But hey- thanks for the laugh! Peace-
summerdaysandsCAT after seeing first girl : “I don’t know what that was, but it makes me want to do something, alot”
CAT: “All six of my nipples are tingling!”
I feel it is my moral duty to inform you that I have been misrepresented. The only way I am capable of making someone’s lunch try to escape through said person’s nostrils whilst they’re reading my messages (a la summerdaysands)is by plagiarising someone else. In this case, the only way I have achieved hilarity is by quoting His Majesty Doug Naylor, and I do not deserve the credit. However, I get a warm tingly feeling inside when I realise that people out there think that I am funny.
Here are some quotes from my favorite movie series. I think they represent a certain depth that you just don’t see in much dialog, these days.
“Da Gungans no liken outsiders.” -Jar Jar Binks
“Ooh, big maxie da Force!” -Jar Jar Binks
“Wesa no like da Naboo, and da Naboo to like ussens. Day tink day so smarty den ussens. Day tink day brains so big.” -Boss Nass
“Woe grane champio du Pixelito: Sebulba!” -Beed Annodue
“Poodoo!” -Sebulba
“Ayeeeah! Ahha! Utinni! Utinni!” -Dathcha Nkik
“Bah doe! Bah doe!” -Jek Nkik
“Urrrg! Ur ur uur!” -URoRRuR’R’R
“Neggrh ghogola, woldewa?!?” -Ponda Baba
“Oo-ta goo-ta, Solo?” -Greedo
“Jabba wah ning chee kospa. Chas ke nowi yanyi chu chusu.” -Greedo
“Cuchlee numaa. Cheska po kuta x’esta klenka, ya ooscka!” -Greedo
“Res luk ra’auf.” -Bossk
“E chu ta.” -E-3PO
“Ke chu ke kukuta?” -TT-8L-Y7
“Uh, Artoo-Detoowha bo See-Threepiowha ey toota odd mishka Jabba du Hutt.” -C-3PO
“Die wenna wanga.” -Bib Fortuna
“Die wenna wauaga.” -C-3PO
“Ne Jabba no badda, te chaada su goodie.” -Bib Fortuna
“Nudd chaa!” -Bib Fortuna
“Bo shuda!” -Jabba the Hutt
“Da eitha!” -Jabba the Hutt
“Na chuba neg’torie, na! Na! Na toota…” -Oola
“Zeebuss.” -Boushh
“Uu a’kingsa riika pagh bagla bis kachata, weenow con bantha poodoo.” -Jabba the Hutt
“Boscka!” -Jabba the Hutt
I’d just like to give you a hand Dalektek for including all of those quotes in Huttese, and whatever other languages those are
.Cat: I am so gorgeous there’s a six-month waiting list for birds to suddenly appear every time I am near.
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