I know it’s not LEXX fic but……

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  • #38554
    mandara k
    Participant

    It’s kinda Lexx related……

    So this is how it pans out for the trailer…. stay with me.

    ” You’ve seen him blow up Nova Scotia (Def Con 4 ending)

    “You’ve seen him obliterate Earth in the future. (End of ‘Yo Way Yo’)

    Now see what happens to Renaissance Italy!
    (Campy, happy music here)

    in

    Renaissance 2: The Armargeddon

    >>>>>Subtitle in Australian “Arma-geddon outta here!<<<<< Scene 1 " He commeth around again." (Pan to the sky for a view a man in a primitive helicopter hovering over head." "DaVinci. He'sa going crazy. We shoulda given him the Sistino; now he's wreakin a mayhem everywhere with that flying machine. Somabody shoulda do somthing." (Pan to the streets of Rome, screaming mobs in the streets, pieces of marble are falling out of the sky." " You sonna of a Medici; putta my scupturea downa on the ground now. No, NO not my David...." (Michelangelo's David falls out of the sky and traps two fleeing people.) "You *******O!!!! When you getta tired of pedallin', I will be making your b.... your "Last Supper! Mmhm you know it girlfriend." Starring Gene Hackman as Leonardo da Vinci. And Ru Paul as Michelangelo (in straight clothes but later in the movie he/she does a strip floor show that's due to knock your tights off) With a special cameo by Samuel L Jackson as the hired hench for Michelangelo. "I'ma gonna smoka you foo'." And as the artistic muse, James Earl Jones... "Luka, I amma yo fa... oh crappo, wronga flick, I meena a muse." Gary Coleman as the Pope. "There'sa chaoso in the streets, My Holiness" "Whatcha you a talkin' about?" And Callista Flockhart as the simple Roman working girl. " I canna be boy ora girl; whicha ona will itta be tonight, my man of marble." Narrated by Russell Crowe (so he work on those tricky Australian words for us) this film has it all. Playing in select theatres everywhere . [img]images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img]

    #65496
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hmm, and I thought it went straight to video. lol ๐Ÿ˜‰

    LOL Good stuff, Mandara, but I’d like to see Jack Klugman* have a role as Leo da Vinci’s pathologist twin brother, da Vinci M.E. Upon seeing the flying machine crash into the ground, he checks to see if Michelangelo’s David has a pulse and declares “He’s dead, Jim.” Only then does everyone realise that not only is he not a real pathologist, nor even a real doctor of any kind. In fact, he’s not even actor Jack Klugman, but he is a pathological liar. It’s DeForest Kelley (of Star Trek fame) who killed off Klugman and impersonated him ’cause he needed the work (kidding of course, I have the greatest respect for “Bones” — especially Ron Jeremy’s and John Holmes ones ๐Ÿ˜‰ — joking, honest!).

    And here’s an idea: Ron Jeremy could play Big Bonanno Pisano**, a pizza boy turned pizza architect with a vision. He longs to create a huge Tower of Pizza. However, one mean mothah played by Isaac Hayes called Mamma Mia seeks to topple his plans, luckily he is only partially successful.

    Big Bonnano (Ron Jeremy): “I will erect the biggest tower the world has ever seen … It’s leaning, that’s never happened to me before!” ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Mamma Mia: “Who’s the meanest mothah in all the land? It sure aint Shaft, so it’s gotta be me ah, umm, oh yeah!”

    Can you dig it? 8)

    *he of Quincy M.E. and The Odd Couple fame
    **Bonanno Pisano is the real name of the architect behind the leaning Tower of Pisa

    -Logan

    PS Mr. Kelley, you know we love you!

    The preceding was sponsored by Pizza Hut

    #65503
    Anonymous
    Guest

    ROFLMAO!!!!!
    Mandara and Logan…the new unholy union!!!
    Looking forward to more “stuff”… ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

    #65527
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Holy Trini_T, Batman!!!

    ”Trini_T” wrote:

    ROFLMAO!!!!!
    Mandara and Logan…the new unholy union!!!
    Looking forward to more “stuff”… ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

    Trini_T, come and join us, we can be an unholy trinity! ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

    (I bet you were expecting that kind of response) ๐Ÿ˜›

    #65553
    Anonymous
    Guest
    Logan wrote:

    Holy Trini_T, Batman!!!

    ”Trini_T” wrote:

    ROFLMAO!!!!!
    Mandara and Logan…the new unholy union!!!
    Looking forward to more “stuff”… ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

    Trini_T, come and join us, we can be an unholy trinity! ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

    (I bet you were expecting that kind of response) :P[/quote]

    ๐Ÿ˜› ๐Ÿ˜› ๐Ÿ˜› From you…youbetcha!
    I must excuse myself from the mange et trois (sp?), though! I’m not nearly as clever and off the cuff as you two! ๐Ÿ˜ณ But I was really glad to see some action in this catagory…sure hope it continues! 8)

    #65566
    mandara k
    Participant

    A Menage a Tros’; what kind of girl do you think I am… the nerve of some people hmph…

    Okay, Okay. ….. if you bring the good cigarettes and the seamed hose I’ll think about it….. after of course you take Fifi to the salon for her manicure and doggie massage[code:1][size=7][/size][color=green][/color] "Yes, mommy’s widdle precious has some new fwends to keep her pretty…[color=#444444][/color][size=12][/size]

    That’s right you two…. I don’t come cheap and that goes for my little dog too. No, Fifi does not come in a package deal… what do I look like … a travel agency?

    Ah, I wonder what it’s like to be a Canadian kept woman…. me I couldn’t do it…. bad back. Well, with all that coinage you’d have to carry around I throw a disk for sure.

    And what about a man that can afford to give an American girl the lifestyle we’re accustomed to; you know like Prime Ridge :wink: but a few furs and a masseuse named ALfredo with thighs like tree trunks and a rear like :evil: …. ah never mind…. but you wouldn’t want me to get bored or unhappy, now would you, hmmm would you Lovey Daddy :P [/code:1][/b]

    #65567
    mandara k
    Participant

    I’m leaving that strictly alone; can you two read that?

    Later…… Alfredo is here ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

    #65569
    Anonymous
    Guest
    Later…… wrote:

    Ah, eating Italian these days, are we? ๐Ÿ˜›
    (does your Alfredo come with thick creamy white sauce?)

    #65572
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    It the shitz-u understand?

    ”mandara wrote:

    A Menage a Tros’; what kind of girl do you think I am… the nerve of some people hmph…

    Okay, Okay. ….. if you bring the good cigarettes and the seamed hose I’ll think about it….. after of course you take Fifi to the salon for her manicure and doggie massage…

    If you throwin’ in Fifi then you know I’ll be joinin’ in! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Did I ever tell you about the trip I took to the Orient last year? Well, I had me one of them fine doggy style massages. Oh yeah, aint nothin’ better than a Shitzu massage. Oo wee, you knows I like it doggy-style!

    And here is the cutest little shitz-u ever could see:

    ____________________________________________________

    And while we’re on the topic of massage, I know this is discouraged, but I will take this opportunity to advertise one of my businesses: ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Logan PMS (Private’s Massaging Service)

    Attention Privates:

    Is your PMS giving you the blues? You not getting the servicing you deserve? Try the new Logan Private’s Massaging Service; it’s guaranteed to satisfy you!

    ****Some conditions apply:

    *Only privates may be massaged — no sergeants or other ranks are eligible for the service.
    *Must be of legal privates age.
    *Special bulk deals for Army bases.
    *By privates invitation only!

    You may only be a Private but Logan will make your Privates feel like the whole Major! ๐Ÿ˜€

    #65573
    trillian
    Participant
    Logan wrote:

    Logan PMS (Private’s Massaging Service)

    Attention Privates:

    Is your PMS giving you the blues? You not getting the servicing you deserve? Try the new Logan Private’s Massaging Service; it’s guaranteed to satisfy you!

    ****Some conditions apply:

    *Only privates may be massaged — no sergeants or other ranks are eligible for the service.
    *Must be of legal privates age.
    *Special bulk deals for Army bases.
    *By privates invitation only!

    You may only be a Private but Logan will make your Privates feel like the whole Major! ๐Ÿ˜€

    That means you won’t even throw me a kernel then?

    ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜‰

    #65574
    mandara k
    Participant

    How about Starbucks and Cheap Fu…..n Yes, a corporate coffee haven may lend an air if savoir faire (and I sold my sold to get it) but upstairs is my true heart… Yes, girls girl girls… all located in scenic Yellowknife; and we are the only gentleman’s club where our luscious ladies where only a change belt to give you correct Canadian coinage. We had shower views but its hard to get the rust spots off the girls…. yet it is quite the site to see ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

    Anyone wearing a plaid hat with ear flaps and ice skates get in free on Wed.

    and gentlemen…. no licking those poles…. (I learned that from Lexx)

    Just tell them the penguin told you to go there. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    #65682
    mandara k
    Participant

    I just caught that Trini; yep, that creamy white sauce is the best on two continents; and just as effective as grandaddy’s elixir of life. You know the type of liquid refreshment that not only cures all the aches and pains a person could ever hope to have, regrows hair, restores vigor and softens the skin. ๐Ÿ™„

    As good solid role models, however, women are not supposed to talk about that ๐Ÿ˜ณ and nose hair.

    I think the time is right. Why is it okay for men to gape at women and expect them to look a certain way in order to warrant attention. That’s like if I went around and only noticed guys with big pecs and tight rears with car salesman smiles. What my ex called the “Biff Riff” types. HELLO! There are LOT of different people in this world; not all of them are your ” ideal”; but they are here and though you may not want to acknowledge it; they are human just as you are.

    I feel release now; thank you very much; back to the wilds of the Northwest Territories……

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