List Of Things Not To Do Before Going To Bed

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  • #37887
    SadGeezer
    Keymaster

    1. Read a Forever Knight fanfic involving LaCroix and a purple thing
    2. Think about that bit in Parliament of Dreams that involves G’Kar and his hot pink underwear… I watched that episode when it was on Austar, at 11:00 at night. I had nightmares about G’Kar wearing hot pink underpants all night.
    More coming when I have the time!

    #59410
    Anonymous
    Guest

    OMG i sure don’t remember that ep hehehe. maybe i repressed the memory. i have been picturing G’kar in hot pink bra and panties. don’t ask me where the bra came from! LOL i can’t seem to get the image out of my head!

    #59411
    Anonymous
    Guest

    The G’Kar in bras and panties thing is catching! Quick, get me to a hospital or somewhere where I can get enough shock treatment to forget the image of G’Kar in hot pink bras and panties! It was bad enough with the hot pink underwear!

    #59412
    Anonymous
    Guest

    ok how about this-present day William Shatner in a bright orange speedo wearing a lacy frilly white southern belle hat, with a Daffy Duck tatoo on his belly! oh and don’t forget the black calf socks! LOL (sorry Bill) ouch!!! did that help you get G’kar out of your head? hehe

    #59413
    Anonymous
    Guest

    YES!! But NOW I need shock treatment to got rid of THAT image!
    Okay, how’s this.
    Londo in a bright pink wig with ponytails coming out the side, wearing fluoro yellow suspenders, knee-high light green boots and a black boob tube? AND, picture him wearing all that and doing the Hokey-Pokey!!

    #59414
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Or possibly Bester wearing boxers with little red love hearts with a fluoro yellow background, socks saying ‘I’m too sexy for my shoes’ and a T-shirt saying ‘My next husband will be normal’ and a little green straw hat?

    #59415
    Anonymous
    Guest

    ok i am ROTF LMAO!!!!!!!! i will have to get back to you tomorrow. hehehehe!!!!! it is 5am my time and i may be an insomniac, but even us insomniacs have to sleep now and then. especially when we have to work at 10:30am!

    #59416
    Anonymous
    Guest

    What is ROTF LMAO????

    #59417
    Anonymous
    Guest

    ROTF LMAO is Rolling On The Floor, Laughing My A$$ Off! they can be used together or separately! i am very new to this stuff too! i think i am going to check my email for more jokes from Nanie (my grandmother). btw my grandparents celebrated their 59th wedding anniversery wednesday! good for them! i guess laughter is important for a great and long relationship.

    #59418
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Thanks for the definition. I myself was ROTF LMAO when I wrote it!!! lh was more of throwing up when I told her!!
    It’s sweet that your grandparents have been together that long. I don’t think I could be married for that long. For a start, my husband would probably get jealous when I watched Lexx episode after Lexx episode as an excuse to look at Kai!!!!
    Still… who can blame me!

    #59419
    Anonymous
    Guest

    hehehe. hubby watches just to see Xev so i guess it evens out!

    #59420
    crusader
    Participant

    3. Looking at a naked pic of Stan!

    #59421
    Anonymous
    Guest

    EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!

    #59422
    Anonymous
    Guest

    4. Reading these comments, they’ll give you nightmares!!!!!

    #59423
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I would like to add a 5th, finding out that the Centuari have six um…”extremities” and then later on catching a breif glimse of Londo’s extremities in “The Very Long Night Of Londo Molari” *SHUTTER!!!!*

    -SM

    #59424
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Londo in a bright yellow tutu doing Swan Lake with one of those big long feathers in his hair. sorry to use Londo again but it is just too much fun!

    #59425
    Anonymous
    Guest

    6: Dave Lister in a girdle, suspender belt and feather boas – all hot pink – with snakeskin high heels and Austin Powers’s Swedish made penis enlarger pump…

    #59426
    Anonymous
    Guest

    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
    Although, can you imagine an episode of B5 where Sheridan and Bester get married, Sheridan wears Delenn’s pink dress and Morden does kung fu… in a fluffy blue wedding dress?????
    Sorry.

    #59427
    Anonymous
    Guest

    A BLUE FLUFFY DRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG YOU ARE SAD UU MAKE A KAI OBESSED MONKEY WITH ONE ARM AND LOOK LIKES A DEMENTED ORC BLASSH
    YOU ALL WERDO’S!

    #59428
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Thank you. I know I’m nuts, you tell me often enough!!!
    Do you like what I did with your log-in???? I thought it was cute!!!!!
    Just kidding. Wanted to see your reaction.
    And everyone, feel free to imagine Londo all sorts of situations.
    Mary Beth, I TRIED to watch Star Trek, but I kept on laughing whenever Kirk was in. You have corrupted my mind!!!!!!
    Okay, okay, it was already corrupted, but NOW it’s worse!!!

    #59429
    DalekTek790
    Participant

    Things Not to Do Before Going to Bed

    How ’bout visiting this message board?

    #59430
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Yeah, definately. I think we can agree on that one. I mean, I TRY to watch Star Trek without getting THAT image of present-day William Shatner in – no, I won’t mention it – and anyway, I can’t watch it without laughing!!

    #59431
    Anonymous
    Guest

    was it the daffy duck tattoo that sent you over the edge SA2002? hehehehe!
    hey DT nice to see you here in this forum. and i have to say *giggle* you do have a sense of humor! please let me know what you think about my grandmothers jokes that i have been posting, if you have time.

    #59432
    DalekTek790
    Participant

    quote:


    Originally posted by mary beth:
    hey DT nice to see you here in this forum. and i have to say *giggle* you do have a sense of humor! please let me know what you think about my grandmothers jokes that i have been posting, if you have time.


    I’ve been known to write humorous things on the board. Rarely anything genuinely funny, though.

    I don’t post here because people rarely come here. If I want someone to actually read my Lexx humor, I post it on the Lexx forum.

    Actually, I was the one who named this forum. Pretty lame, eh?

    #59433
    Anonymous
    Guest

    DT why do you think it is lame? and how did you come up with the name? why the number 5?

    #59434
    crusader
    Participant

    Maybe 5 is the IQ of the jokes we post here!

    7. closeup of Stans poo scen in series 3!

    #59435
    DalekTek790
    Participant

    quote:


    Originally posted by mary beth:
    DT why do you think it is lame? and how did you come up with the name? why the number 5?


    In one of my first posts on the new board, I jokingly suggested the jokers section be called “Laughterhouse-Five.” To my surprise, someone actually changed it the next day. Slaughterhouse-Five is a science fiction novel by Kurt Vonnegut.

    #59436
    Anonymous
    Guest

    very cool DT! it makes sense now!

    #59437
    Anonymous
    Guest

    #59438
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Agreed.
    No, Mary Beth, it wasn’t the Daffy Duck tattoo, it was the SOCKS! And the hat.
    And welcome to the madhouse, DT!

    #59439
    Anonymous
    Guest

    yes while those are terrifying to look at it is definately the daffy duck tattoo for me! ack! i am going to check my email for more jokes from Nanie to try to cleanse that image from my mind. hehehehe

    [ 20-02-2002: Message edited by: mary beth ]

    #59440
    Anonymous
    Guest

    The Daffy Duck tattoo was the fourth for me. The speedos being the third. Ick! I mean, who could wear those??
    I think I’m going crazy just thinking about it!!!!!!

    #59441
    Anonymous
    Guest

    THINGS NOT TO DO BEFORE BED

    Read me and smartase2002’s bab 5 fanfic because it is scary. We have space hamsters tacking over bab5

    #59442
    Anonymous
    Guest


    okay it is 2:40am my time and i have the giggles now! thanks to you guys, hahahahaha!!! this makes it difficult to go to sleep giggling about this.

    #59443
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Yep, we have these little orange hamsters with yellow armour and hot pink guns killing Sheridan. Ivanova marries Morden, who then gets into a bar fight with a Centauri who thinks he’s female (maybe because of the fluffy hot pink dress and yellow high heels) and sticks the high heels into the guy’s nose. Ivanova and Morden have a divorce and a week later Ivanova marries Marcus. Sheridan starts cross-dressing as well and is killed by a space hamster. Delenn commits suicide. Lyta is stuck in an elevator with Zack, who confesses how much he loves her (again… remember Thirdspace) and Evil Kosh (Kosh 2) has a ‘slight discolouration’ in his encounter suit. It goes hot pink! (‘How can I be evil in hot pink?’) Good Kosh reappears (still deciding how) and turns out to be a space hamster and it is revealed that Evil Kosh is a cute little fluffy bunny.
    The Shadows start quoting Star Trek (I’ve decided they can talk.) Lyta and Zack get out of the elevator and are married.
    And all this marriage is forced on the charactors by the marriage-mad multi-coloured space hamsters!!!

    [ 22-02-2002: Message edited by: Smartass 2002 ]

    #59444
    Anonymous
    Guest

    The hamsters also take over the erath and become the best rulers Known to man

    #59445
    Anonymous
    Guest

    yep it does sound like fun! are you guys going to post it in the new fiction forum here on sadgeezer?

    #59446
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Nah, no section for B5 fanfic. I’ll post it here. It’s as good a place as any.

    #59447
    Anonymous
    Guest

    IT was a typical day on Babylon 5. At least, it would be, if not for the fact that Sheridan had been hogging the bathroom for an hour.
    Delenn was starting to get worried. She could hear him in there, showering and singing to himself. The tune was something that seemed slightly appropriate, though. It was ‘Singing In The Rain,’ and Sheridan seemed to be having a ball singing it.
    That was only half of what worried Delenn, though; the other half was that he was now out of the shower singing ‘Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This,’ and she needed a shower. It would be most undignified for a Minbari of her position to go sauntering around with B.O.
    Just then the door to the bathroom opened and Sheridan emerged.
    “Delenn, do you think this suits me? I do.” Sheridan asked, twirling around in Delenn’s pink dress, green panty-hose, black high heels and a blonde wig.
    “John, what are you doing?” Delenn gasped, shocked.
    “Going to a formal meeting.” Sheridan replied, walking out of the room.
    Delenn stared after him and decided that maybe he WAS working for the Shadows; he’d been acting strange ever since his return to life, from Z’Ha’Dum.
    But what the heck was she going to wear while he wore her dress?

    It had been a most enlightening evening, Sheridan decided. After everyone had stopped laughing at him – he couldn’t figure out why, it was a nice and SENSIBLE outfit to wear to a meeting – they’d talked business. Then laughed then talked. On and on it went. Blah blah blah blah blah. At least they’d actually AGREED on something, Sheridan thought, thinking about Londo and G’Kar. Londo had agreed to give G’Kar Quadrant 36 if G’Kar managed to get Sheridan out of there.
    Sheridan sucked on his giant, multi-coloured lollipop thoughtfully and played with the plaits that stuck out sideways on his new wig.
    Something touched his knee. Sheridan stood up and caused the hamster to fall off his lap onto the ground.
    Sheridan looked down at the fluffy hamster with it’s bright blue eyes and bright orange fur. Suddenly, without warning, Sheridan felt a stinging pain in his back. He fell to his knees. As the room was going black, the last thing he saw was a fluffy orange hamster and another orange hamster in yellow armour with a hot pink bazooka.
    ****************************************************************************************************************
    Zack sighed. It had been two days since the hamsters had taken over, killed Sheridan – which came as something of a relief – and Delenn had committed suicide. That wasn’t really the problem, though. He was stuck in a lift. With Lyta. And he’d been stuck in the lift for two hours now. Quite frankly, he thought, he was beginning to want to tell Lyta how much he loved her. It was a hazard. He stayed around Lyta for too long and he really became convinced that he should tell her how he felt and that it would be a good idea.
    Lyta looked at Zack. She knew what he was thinking. It was really plain. She was even trying to block out the thoughts using all her telepathic ability – and that was very strong – and it wasn’t working. Well, she loved him too. But she wasn’t admitting it first.

    “What? Marry him?” Ivanova exclaimed. “But… I’m gay! I can’t marry him!”
    “You have to. We are obsessed with marriage and you will marry him.” Dork, leader of the space hamsters, told her. “We have already arranged the wedding.”
    “Yes, it’s a tradition. You must marry.” Geek, Dork’s lieutenant, chipped in.
    “I don’t care! I don’t want to marry Morden!” Ivanova wailed. “He’s evil!”
    “Every person on this ship has been through a personality test. He is right for you.” Dork said.
    “No he isn’t!”
    “Yes, he is. The wedding will start in an hour. Geek’s wife, Geekess, will take you for a fitting for your wedding tuxedo.”
    “Tuxedo?”
    “Oh yes. Women look so much better in tuxedos and men look better in dresses, don’t you think?” Dork said pleasantly., rubbing his paws together.
    “NO!”

    Morden was in the Mutai. He’d decided that if he could do kung fu, he could be in the Mutai. The only problem was this new law that the space hamsters had recently told everyone about. It was really annoying.
    He turned to face his opponent, making sure his blue fluffy wedding dress wasn’t crinkled.
    His opponent’s face was lit up, desperately trying not to laugh at this strange guy. Suddenly, he couldn’t hold it in any longer. He fell to the floor, bright pink, laughing hard.
    Morden knew it was a bad outfit for fighting, after all, a kaftan would have been more sensible, but there was no need for THIS sort of behaviour. It was the law, after all. Men had to wear dresses. Obviously, no one in the Mutai had listened to the new law. He had to remember to report them for that. It was seemingly futile to try and beat his opponent up right now. Futile, perhaps, because the Mutai hadn’t started yet and his opponent was still laughing his head off and there wasn’t a lot Morden could do about that. He couldn’t even sic the Shadows onto his opponent, because the space hamsters had fried the Shadows. Then they’d told him to get married to Ivanova. He’d complained about that, but they’d dragged him off to get measurements for his wedding dress.
    He was in the Mutai because he wanted to be in the Mutai and also because he was sure that the hamsters would respect the privacy of the Mutai and not come after him to drag him off to his wedding.
    There was a polite tap on his ankle. He looked down. It was that hamster called Geek.
    “It’s your wedding time.” Geek beamed.
    Morden grimaced. What a bad day. He hoped it was just a bad dream.

    “And I think you’re wonderful and I’d like to marry you.” Zack finished. He looked at his prospective bride and found that she was asleep. “What? I’ve just wasted twenty-nine thousand, four hundred and twenty verses of love poetry and an entire speech about love and marriage and YOU’RE ASLEEP? This is not fair!”
    Zack sat down next to Lyta, who was snoring horrifically.

    There was a man wearing a silk white wedding dress and he was standing three feet away from Ivanova, who wore a bright yellow tuxedo. The priest turned to the unhappy couple.
    “Which one is the groom?”
    Ivanova cleared her throat and stepped up.
    “I am,” she replied. “The hamsters are making everyone do gender reversals.”
    “I know.” The priest said. “Look, they made ME wear a bright blue mini-skirt and a halter top!”
    Morden then cleared his throat and said; “Has the cake arrived?”
    “No, the cake has not arrived yet. Instead, we are having a traditional Narn meal called dim sim.”
    “I can’t eat that.” Morden said.
    “Why not?” The mini-skirted priest asked curiously.
    “I’m allergic to cat.” Morden lied. He was REALLY allergic to the vegetables they put in it.
    “Oh well.” The priest shrugged, then grabbed his Bible and started reading. “As we walk through the valley of – no, that’s wrong. Let me see where the proper verse is…”
    “Just get on with it!” Geek hissed.
    The priest looked at his ankle, where Geek was clinging on to his sock.
    “Oh, um, right. I can’t remember it exactly.” He said. He turned to Ivanova and Morden. “Do you two want to get married?”
    “NO!” They both yelled.
    “Um. I now pronounce you husband and wife. I’m leaving now.” The priest finished, rather anti-climatically, escaping back to his room.
    “Can I get out of here now?” Ivanova asked. “I’m supposed to be on duty.”

    #59448
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I only wrote half of it. I think that the water in my cordial must have had some highly illegal and delusional drug in it, because I’ve never even tried to write anything like that before!
    dark_angel3838 writing her half, I can understand, but ME writing my half…..?
    Oh yeah, a late message on the story; don’t read it while you’re drinking.

    #59449
    Anonymous
    Guest

    too late

    #59450
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Did you choke on your drink???
    Or did you have a sudden vision that involved a ‘huge can of Coke’ next to a ‘huge bowl of fairy floss?’ *Zack vision spoiler there!*

    #59451
    Anonymous
    Guest

    guys please continue this in the part 2 thread that i started so that the BB doesn’t go crazy and crash.

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