Magic Weapons

[SadGeezer]

Magic Weapons

Bob was joining the army and they were handing out rifles
when he arrived, so he got in line. When it got to Bob,
they had run out of guns. The man issuing rifles gave him
a broom

”This is a magic broom — point it at anybody, say ‘Bangity
bangity bang,’ and they will die.” Bob was really worried
because he didn’t think it would work, but he got in line
for bayonets, thinking he might stand a chance if he could
stab them to death. As luck would have it, Bob’s turn came
and they had ran out.

”Don’t worry.” said the man issuing them out. ”I will
give you this magic carrot — point it at somebody, say
‘Stabbity stabbity stab,’ and they will die.”

Now Bob is terrified, going into battle with a broom and
carrot, when the sirens go off, signaling invasion. Bob
goes out, only to be laughed at by the enemy. One enemy
even comes up to him, hoping to get a good shot at him.
Well, Bob didn’t have anything to lose so he pointed at
him and said ”Bangity bangity bang!” and the guy fell
down dead. He did the same thing with the magic carrot.

Amazed at what was happening, he continued to fight. Then,
a guy came slowly up to him and he would not die. Bob tried
to shoot and stab him, but he wouldn’t die. The last words
poor Bob heard as he was being trampled over were
”Tankity tankity tank.”

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