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sorry guys, thread got too long, please continue
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Originally posted by LoneGunMan:
Squish.. Hypatia.. truelky twisted humour you guys have.. I LOVE IT!! i believe you have a possible series or novel waiting in the wings..
What you preparing for this invasion Squish.. Triple-Armoured Fire-Breathing Wilderbeest?[ 07-02-2002: Message edited by: LoneGunMan ]
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Well, as your from the U.K, I guess I can tell you (but don’t tell those sneaky Americans, as they will no doubt try to nick it!!!).
We have fooled them into believing that an army of untrained cluster lizards are to be used, but in reality they have been trained by a secret SAS brigade of killer shrews, these shrew are armed to the teeth, and carry mini Hellfire and Harpoon launchers!!!
Plus we have on standby a garrison of lethal gerbils that can fly and launch marmite bombs (that will at least do harmful damage to half of their army)…rest assured, they have two hope’s…Bob Hope and no hope!!!
Squishy——————–
Squishy…The silliest Cluster Lizard in the two known Universes.
Your penmanship is atrocious and you dress in the manner of a male prostitute-Mystery Men
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Posts: 127 | From: Oxford, England | Registered: Sep 2001 | IP: LoggedSquishy
Committed SadGeezer
Member # 318
posted 07-02-2002 11:09 PM
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Originally posted by Headgehog:Excellent, this is just what I need. I’ll prepare the first offensive, and when the Squish Liberation Army comes to retaliate, the mutant army will be ther to stop him and protect me. mu-wha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Now lets see where that transmission tower?…
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Sorry guys, been busy recently.
And how the hell can anyone drink something not ice cold. Hot, luke warm, room temp, its all undrinkable to me. I’m not talking just beer, I mean water, soft drinks, everything——————————————————————————–
Well tea and coffee tastes crap when it’s coffee…ooops, forgot you even drink that cold. And it’s odd you should mention that, as I just need to go and turn the oven off, I think the coke casserole is done!!!
Well, Well, Well, the devious Headgehog re-appears, well Headgy, in your absence Hypatia has risen to power and has appointed me Vice-Prez (still don’t know why, especially when I’ll stab her in the back, first chance I get!!!)
And don’t beleive that this supposed mutant army will protect you, sure fire breathing rabbits are a thing of concern, but my hard-assed cluster lizards will be serving them up in a pie with some nice warm beer, and they will be having a good laugh at the pathetic army your Prez has mustered.
The Squish Liberation Army may be small in comparison, but Prez Hypatia has overlooked one small detail, and that is that they know Monty Python jokes and more importantly the funniest joke in history…and believe me it does kill.
And what’s worse is that they carry small mp3 players with enhanced loudspeakers, with these come cd’s of the worst bands ever, Hear’say and Steps…your troops will be screaming for them to stop!!!
Oh and…BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!
Squishy——————–
Squishy…The silliest Cluster Lizard in the two known Universes.
Your penmanship is atrocious and you dress in the manner of a male prostitute-Mystery Men
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Posts: 127 | From: Oxford, England | Registered: Sep 2001 | IP: LoggedSquishy
Committed SadGeezer
Member # 318
posted 07-02-2002 11:18 PM
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Originally posted by Hypatia:
Yaaaaaaaa! The battle of the clusterlizards and battle-wallabies! Whoo!
But what Squishy didn’t know was that Hypatia had cloned an army of politicians. With no brains for the clusterlizards to eat, and dripping so much slime that they did not seem appatizing, the army of politicians surrounded Squishy’s clusterlizard army. The untrained clusterlizards would be forced to fight, just as a squadron of flying firebreathing rabbits attacked from the sky.Back in the Oval Office, Hypatia and Squishy watched the carnage as Hypatia made plans to install a giant moonwalk in place of the rose garden.
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An army of politicians…Nooooooooooooooo, so the gloves are off then heh, well then I must fight fire with fire.
An army of T.V evangelists should ward off that threat!!!, strapped to their chests will be photo’s of Bill Clinton naked, if that doesn’t stop them nothing will.
Oh, and that’s a lovely gesture installing a moonwalk in the rose garden, much more room than the oval office…thank you vey much, but you’re still gonna pay!!!
Squishy
Squishy, Squishy he’s our man, if he can’t stop them no one can…Go Squishy!!!——————–
Squishy…The silliest Cluster Lizard in the two known Universes.
Your penmanship is atrocious and you dress in the manner of a male prostitute-Mystery Men
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Posts: 127 | From: Oxford, England | Registered: Sep 2001 | IP: LoggedSquishy
Committed SadGeezer
Member # 318
posted 07-02-2002 11:32 PM
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Well tea and coffee tastes crap when it’s coffee (uh, coffee???…sorry meant to read cold!!!)…ooops, forgot you even drink that cold. And it’s odd you should mention that, as I just need to go and turn the oven off, I think the coke casserole is done!!!
Squishy
——————–Squishy…The silliest Cluster Lizard in the two known Universes.
Your penmanship is atrocious and you dress in the manner of a male prostitute-Mystery Men
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Posts: 127 | From: Oxford, England | Registered: Sep 2001 | IP: LoggedHeadgehog
Committed SadGeezer
Member # 175
posted 08-02-2002 12:25 AM
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Originally posted by Squishy:
Well tea and coffee tastes crap when it’s coffee (uh, coffee???…sorry meant to read cold!!!)…ooops, forgot you even drink that cold. And it’s odd you should mention that, as I just need to go and turn the oven off, I think the coke casserole is done!!!
Squishy
——————————————————————————–No coffe and tea taste like crap period. hell even one kind of coffee literally is made out of crap. Ice Tea on the other hand is great!
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You forget Squish. I’m on the side of light. My only goal is to make certain that the US sees 4.24 first. And sine your too bust fighting with your boss, Hypatia over who has the better clones, I will easily reach my goal. ButI;m not completley harmless, I may let england see the finale right after we see it first. Albeit at 4am your time.
your mutant armies are no match for my army of “light”.——————————————————————————–
Posts: 421 | From: Albuquerque, NM (College) / Philadelphia, PA (Home) USA | Registered: Apr 2001 | IP: LoggedSquishy
Committed SadGeezer
Member # 318
posted 08-02-2002 12:37 AM
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Originally posted by Headgehog:No coffe and tea taste like crap period. hell even one kind of coffee literally is made out of crap. Ice Tea on the other hand is great!
Well you’ll get no argument there, I’m not a huge fan of tea and coffee, but it does sometimes serve a purpose, coffee can get me awake, and tea’s quite useful when it get’s real cold…why the hell am I explaining the pros and cons of drinks???
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You forget Squish. I’m on the side of light. My only goal is to make certain that the US sees 4.24 first. And sine your too bust fighting with your boss, Hypatia over who has the better clones, I will easily reach my goal. ButI;m not completley harmless, I may let england see the finale right after we see it first. Albeit at 4am your time.
your mutant armies are no match for my army of “light”.——————————————————————————–
Face facts, we will see it first, by one day I believe, but I will ensure those 24 hours seem like an eternity, and even worse we are five hours ahead of you…BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!
And does this army of light mean that you will be bringing torches?, and while your at it, bring some warm clothing,some ear muffs and a flask of hot tea…as it’s damn cold over here.
We have posted armed Cluster Lizards around the Sci-Fi UK headquarters, so you can pretty much forget sabotage, whilst a company of secret pygmies are enroute to disable the US Sci-Fi network.
You can’t win, Cluster Lizard Power will prevail…and again, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Squishy——————–
Squishy…The silliest Cluster Lizard in the two known Universes.
Your penmanship is atrocious and you dress in the manner of a male prostitute-Mystery Men
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Posts: 127 | From: Oxford, England | Registered: Sep 2001 | IP: LoggedDalekTek790
Committed SadGeezer
Member # 15
posted 08-02-2002 01:43 AM
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Originally posted by Squishy:
I believe the a Roman witch cursed this country, Ice cannot survive when it reaches the shores of England.
——————————————————————————–It was Hypatia! If I remember correctly she was burned for witchcraft (though I think she was Greek, not Roman, the name’s Greek at least).
quote:
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Originally posted by Squishy:
The Squish Liberation Army may be small in comparison, but Prez Hypatia has overlooked one small detail, and that is that they know Monty Python jokes and more importantly the funniest joke in history…and believe me it does kill.
——————————————————————————–Hey, let’s not forget who first brought Monty Python jokes into this thread.
Now, to reiterate: YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL COMPLETELY INSANE! What’s worse, your insanity seems to be contagious, like those telepathic asylum inmates in The Martian Chronicles. It’s starting to rub off on me.
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Lee P. Sherman, code name DalekTek790
Whovian, Froudian, Lexxian, etc.——————————————————————————–
Posts: 882 | From: Iowa City, IA (college)/Davenport, IA (home), United States | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: LoggedPraxilla
Aspiring SadGeezer
Member # 455
posted 08-02-2002 02:50 AM
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This is a monster of a thread! So, all I can say is that ice machines are available at the borders and your nearest congress office to fight for the American way! The right to screw everyone over in capitalism, whine and complain about warm drinks, and bitch about anything to anyone whenever we please. Oh, and don’t forget your tongue shavers. Only those with faked or actual USA proof of citizenship can get these handy dandy new innovations.
——————–A whiff, A breath,
And Halitosis is obvious.
Brush your brain,
Halitosis of the mind is an awful thing.——————————————————————————–
Posts: 27 | From: NA | Registered: Jan 2002 | IP: LoggedHey, let’s not forget who first brought Monty Python jokes into this thread.
Now, to reiterate: YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL COMPLETELY INSANE! What’s worse, your insanity seems to be contagious, like those telepathic asylum inmates in The Martian Chronicles. It’s starting to rub off on me.
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Lee P. Sherman, code name DalekTek790
Whovian, Froudian, Lexxian, etc.Well I’m glad to hear it DT, embrace your insanity, as Headgy, Hypatia and I have, it truly is a wonderful way to be!!!
Squishy
Glad to see that normal service has resumed here..
I’ve missed these twisted threads.. the place was deserted with no-one where to vent my spleen at!! DalekTek790 was a once human. He was one of millions who had cubes of cerebral tissue sliced out of their brains under Project Social Security Solution, and was made into a robot drone to work on the petroleum mines of Ur, which were established after Earth’s oil reserves were depleted when the Middle East was nuked on the day the president pushed all of the buttons on his laptop, sure that one of them could get him on the Internet (which, unbeknownst to him, had been taken away by its inventor when he was defeated in the presidential race).
On Ur, distillation drone 790 was modified by the techno-shaman skekTek to distill and absorb the essence (thoughts, memories, everything) from other life forms as retaliation for the ethnic cleansing of his people which took place when the president hit ctrl+alt+del. 790 promptly drained the essence of skekTek and assimilated his body. The resulting being, calling itself “Tek790,” reconstituted an ice machine into a working stargate and transported itself to Earth, thirsty for new essence.
Tek790’s human brain cube had acquired virtually infinite knowledge from its prey, but, due to the fact that the parts of the brain governing emotion, ethics, and other qualities that make humans human, combined with the maddening effect of the memories of thousands of beings whose essence it had absorbed, had driven the cyborg half-insane (personality type 13: mad scientist, to be exact). It returned to Earth to drink the essence of the president, but found that a new order had been formed, and the president that had disembodied its one component and destroyed the civilization of its other component was no longer in power.
By assimilating mechanical components and mutant D.N.A. from the battered war machines of a defeated terrorist group from Skaro and covering its vulnerable organic components with polycarbide armor, it became DalekTek790. Provided its brain cube was not tampered with, and its programming not altered, there was nothing stopping DalekTek790 from its goal: the absorption of the essence of all sentient beings on Earth!
Wow, DT! That’s the makings of a sci-fi trilogy!
Sorry I’ve been away, the asylum’s ISP crashed.
DaleckTek! You noticed the name!
(Actually, she was killed by a mob, egged on by St.Cyril of Alexandria, the political opponent of her lover/friend (nobody really knows which), Orestes. She was a brilliant mathemetician and philosopher)
Righty-o, back to defending the world from Squishy
As Squishy’s clusterlizards advanced, they were attacked from the sky by thousands of fire breathing dragons, wearing ear-plugs.
As for the gerbils, they were attacked and conquered by a larger army of armored hamsters with bazookas.
The carnage lasted for hours, partly because Hypatia’s clones grew thier limbs back.
But as darkness fell, the battlefield was illuminated only by the fires the dragons had started. Both armys were exhausted, but were they ready to negotiate?
Hypatia sent a messanger to Squishy to offer to open talks.
quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
Hypatia sent a messanger to Squishy to offer to open talks.
what was the messenger wearing?
details, woman, we want details! A messanger, wearing a costume exactly like Xev’s in ‘Xevivor’. So that Squishy’s neighbors would wonder why some bloke in blue leather miniskirt was visiting him.
(Hey, you already have four women fighting over ya’, I’m simplifying things if they think you’re gay!)
quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
A messanger, wearing a costume exactly like Xev’s in ‘Xevivor’. So that Squishy’s neighbors would wonder why some bloke in blue leather miniskirt was visiting him. (Hey, you already have four women fighting over ya’, I’m simplifying things if they think you’re gay!)
Four? I counted three the last time I looked!!!, and to put people’s mind to rest, Squishy is one testorone charged super male cluster lizard (in other words, just yer run of the mill fella!!!).
But thanks a bunch for sending the man in the miniskirt, that really helped my street cred…NOT!!!
Squishy quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
Sorry I’ve been away, the asylum’s ISP crashed. DaleckTek! You noticed the name!
(Actually, she was killed by a mob, egged on by St.Cyril of Alexandria, the political opponent of her lover/friend (nobody really knows which), Orestes. She was a brilliant mathemetician and philosopher)
Righty-o, back to defending the world from Squishy
As Squishy’s clusterlizards advanced, they were attacked from the sky by thousands of fire breathing dragons, wearing ear-plugs.
As for the gerbils, they were attacked and conquered by a larger army of armored hamsters with bazookas.
The carnage lasted for hours, partly because Hypatia’s clones grew thier limbs back.
But as darkness fell, the battlefield was illuminated only by the fires the dragons had started. Both armys were exhausted, but were they ready to negotiate?
Hypatia sent a messanger to Squishy to offer to open talks.
The messenger arrived at Squishy’s camp, weary from the long journey, which was hampered severely by the miniskirt he had been forced to wear, not to mention the thigh high boots.
Squishy could not believe the indignity this poor man had been forced to suffer, and quickly had a T.V crew film this pitiful soldier of Hypatia’s.
It was broadcast worldwide, and everyone, including the Americans were disgusted by this outrage, the support swung heavily in Squishy’s favour.
After the interview, Squishy did the honourable thing and ended his misery when he threw the man to his horde of blood-thirsty cluster lizard elite guard, the messenger had received an honourable death.
Squishy vowed that this injustice would not go unpunished, and decided that his crack troop of Armadillo’s should infiltrate Hypatia’s base and neutralise it.
But first the dragons and their ear-plugs needed to be dealt with, luckily a squadron of wombats were in town and were despatched in due haste.
The wombats were small and versatile and quickly overcame the cumbersome fire-bomber dragons with ear plugs, it was quite a battle, and Squishy watched in delight as the dragons plummeted from the skies onto Hypatia’s legion on bazooka hamsters.
The Hamsters never stood a chance and were squished under the thousands of dragons that fell on them.
In one fell swoop, Squishy’s wombats had done so much damage to Hypatia’a army, Squishy wondered if her army would ever recover.
Throughout the night, Squishy, his generals and the advanced elite cluster lizard guards celebrated by having a feast, short of rations of brains, the camp decided to devour the POW’s they had captured.
Now was the time to send his own messenger, only this meesenger would have only one thing to talk of…Hypatia’s immediate surrender.
Squishy Little did Squishy know that Hypatia did not send a real man as messanger. Rather, she had sent an elaboritly constructed hologram.
After explaining this to the world, everybody calmed down. But after hearing of Squishy’s guard’s feast on the POWs, the world turned against Squishy.
(Incidentally, the POWs were merely holograms of clones, so no-one was hurt. Only Squishy’s guards, who came down with indigestion.)But there was still the defeat of her army to deal with. Hypatia quickly thought up a plan.
There was only one thing to do. Hypatia stepped into her modified lusticon, and added the right amount of clusterlizard DNA, ala Xev. Stepping out, Hypatia paused to look at her reflection.
“That’s one way to lose that last 5 pounds” she grinned. But more importantly, she was now part clusterlizard.
After supervising the evacuation of her lab to the secret bases on Europa, Mars, and the other top secret place, Hypatia stepped into her helicopter, and headed off to discuss Squishy’s terms.
quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
Little did Squishy know that Hypatia did not send a real man as messanger. Rather, she had sent an elaboritly constructed hologram.After explaining this to the world, everybody calmed down. But after hearing of Squishy’s guard’s feast on the POWs, the world turned against Squishy.
(Incidentally, the POWs were merely holograms of clones, so no-one was hurt. Only Squishy’s guards, who came down with indigestion.)But there was still the defeat of her army to deal with. Hypatia quickly thought up a plan.
There was only one thing to do. Hypatia stepped into her modified lusticon, and added the right amount of clusterlizard DNA, ala Xev. Stepping out, Hypatia paused to look at her reflection.
“That’s one way to lose that last 5 pounds” she grinned. But more importantly, she was now part clusterlizard.
After supervising the evacuation of her lab to the secret bases on Europa, Mars, and the other top secret place, Hypatia stepped into her helicopter, and headed off to discuss Squishy’s terms.
That was a mean and evil trick Hypatia, my cluster lizards were starving from you cutting off our supply lines, and then to add insult to injury by sending holograms just beggars belief.
I have contacted leaders throughout the world to explain that the feast had only taken place because of your cruelty, I then showed them pictures of my guard writhing in agony after eating light projections, some of them may never recover, and it will cost the state millions in nursing them back to health from the effects of post-holographic syndrome.
Many of them now believe that they are for instance Napolean, Janet Jackson or the Pope. It is sickening to see these once proud warriors conducting mass and dirty dancing, these are cluster lizards for god’s sake, it’s not as if they can go on tour or take a vow of celibacy…I hope your proud of what you have done to them.
My favourite general seems worst hit, he’s taken to parading around in a dress and calling himself Marilyn.
Your plan to change your DNA was inspired, but you are no cluster lizard, ok my lizards may be a horny bunch, but I’ve told them that if they chase after you in a love frenzy…they will be shot.
And there is one thing you won’t be prepared for, and that is the overwhelming desire to eat brains, and as most of your companions are human you will find it difficult to restrain yourself from eating them. Whereas I only have other lizards nearby, and we don’t eat our own kind.
I’m glad you have come to your senses over terms of surrender, but I’m not sure now is the best time, as I am still fuming over what you did to my guard, but bring a nice bouquet of flowers and some chocolates and I might consider it!!!
In the meantime I will taking a tour of my facilities on the Triton moon, to check on my battalion of Robo-lizards, the ultimate marriage of technology and cluster lizard…they make the Borg look like boy scouts.
Squishy quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
There was only one thing to do. Hypatia stepped into her modified lusticon, and added the right amount of clusterlizard DNA, ala Xev. Stepping out, Hypatia paused to look at her reflection.“That’s one way to lose that last 5 pounds” she grinned. But more importantly, she was now part clusterlizard.
After supervising the evacuation of her lab to the secret bases on Europa, Mars, and the other top secret place, Hypatia stepped into her helicopter, and headed off to discuss Squishy’s terms.
Suddenly, a metal monster with taloned appendages and a skull-like robot head appeared,
“You are Hy-pat-i-a. You are the dom-i-nant life form on this plan-et. I have come for your es-sence.”
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“Exterminate!” -Dalek warrior, The Daleks: Episode 4-The Ambush
“Feel the power of the dark Crystal!” -skekTek the Scientist, The Dark Crystal
“I will love you forever!” -drone #790, Lexx 1.1: I Worship His Shadow
A nice box of chocalate, a bottle of brandy and a few flowers were delivered to Squishy, along with a note that read:
“You forget that Xev was able to control her brain-eating tendancys in ‘Heaven and Hell’. Besides, my lusticon is much more sophisticated than Zev’s, I can control which clusterlizard genes I get. I have no urge to eat brains -Hypatia”
With Squishy off the planet, Hypatia re-instated funding for SETI, tripled NASA’s budget, and funded other science programs with the money she had saved by reforming govermental spending. Riding on a wave of monumental popularity, Hypatia neared the end of her second term.
But who would follow her?
And there was that monster to deal with.
Then Hypatia remembered that man who had claimed to be a time traveler who had been exiled to earth for interfering with the cycle of time. Perhaps he could help…..
(Welcome to the asylum, DT!)
quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
A nice box of chocalate, a bottle of brandy and a few flowers were delivered to Squishy, along with a note that read:“You forget that Xev was able to control her brain-eating tendancys in ‘Heaven and Hell’. Besides, my lusticon is much more sophisticated than Zev’s, I can control which clusterlizard genes I get. I have no urge to eat brains -Hypatia”
With Squishy off the planet, Hypatia re-instated funding for SETI, tripled NASA’s budget, and funded other science programs with the money she had saved by reforming govermental spending. Riding on a wave of monumental popularity, Hypatia neared the end of her second term.
But who would follow her?
And there was that monster to deal with.
Then Hypatia remembered that man who had claimed to be a time traveler who had been exiled to earth for interfering with the cycle of time. Perhaps he could help…..
(Welcome to the asylum, DT!)
Whilst touring his facilities on Triton, Squishy was presented with a box of chocolates, some poison ivy and a bottle of cheap plonk, he quickly devoured them and ate the note, forgetting to read it first.
The Robo-Lizards were nearing completion, these were no ordinary cluster lizards, they had been genetically altered to increase their size and intelligence.
The beasts stood 80ft tall, brimming with all the latest military hardware and were a fearsome sight, yet they were not ready for deployment.
Squishy, satisfied that his team of cybernetic and geneticists would have the Robo-Lizards completed within the next week, took his shuttle back to earth.
Upon arrival, he was greeted by some distressing news, a new nemesis had appeared, one that struck fear in both Squishy and Hypatia.
Not many had witnessed the arrival of the new threat and lived to tell of it, except for one old man…Squishy decided to learn all he could from the old man.
‘What did you see old man’ asked Squishy.
‘Gojira’ replied the old man.
‘No you didn’t’ Squishy snapped.
‘Ummm, ok, it was actually a hybrid’ said the old man fearfully.
Squishy remembered reading about a prophecy that claimed a great evil shall fall upon the earth, and that it was borne from mans mistakes, an abhorrence to nature, it sucked the essence from living creatures to sustain itself.
‘Did it call itself anything?’ inquired Squishy.
The old man paused while trying to recollect the horror he had barely escaped from, before replying ‘Yes, it had some sort of scribble on it…I think it said DalekTek 790’.
Squishy’s worst fears had been confirmed, the prophecy was true and now mankind faced it’s greatest ever threat.
It was now obvious that Squishy and Hypatia, being the worlds most powerful leaders, would have to put aside their differences to combat this new foe.
Squishy immediately contacted Hypatia, although it was not easy, as she had gone into hiding, however, Squishy did manage to speak to one of her aides.
The aide informed Squishy that she had undertaken a journey to find a man of the future, who may have knowledge of the DalekTek 790 and perhaps had the solution to dealing with this menace.
Squishy decided to do the same, time was against them both, as reports flooded in from around the world of attacks from this insidious creature.
At this time there was no defence, the world seemed doomed, the man of the future must be found or mankind faced extinction…
Squishy Hypatia walked through the countryside, looking for this man called the ‘Third Doctor’. She heard a noise behind her and whirled around, shotgun pointed.
“Whoa, only Squishy!” Hypatia sighed with relief, putting her shotgun back in its place next to the two handguns, and the throwing stars. “Well, come along and help me find this man, please?”
Hypatia strode away, leaving Squishy to mutter about Americans and thier obsession with guns.
Would Squishy decide to join Hypatia in ridding the world of this evil? Would Hypatia find this elusive Doctor?
Demented minds want to know!
quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
Hypatia walked through the countryside, looking for this man called the ‘Third Doctor’. She heard a noise behind her and whirled around, shotgun pointed.“Whoa, only Squishy!” Hypatia sighed with relief, putting her shotgun back in its place next to the two handguns, and the throwing stars. “Well, come along and help me find this man, please?”
Hypatia strode away, leaving Squishy to mutter about Americans and thier obsession with guns.
Would Squishy decide to join Hypatia in ridding the world of this evil? Would Hypatia find this elusive Doctor?
Demented minds want to know!
Squishy had come prepared for the journey, he had arrived inconspicously in his SuperSquish outfit, which comprised of a red cape and pink spandex with the large ‘S’ squish symbol on the front.
Hypatia glared at him slightly bemused.
‘What’ Squishy asked.
Hypatia just turned around obviously none too impressed with his attire.
They had decided to make the journey alone, with no bodyguards or elite cluster lizard guard in tow, as they deemed that the ‘third doctor’ would be alarmed had they brought them along.
Squishy did indeed find it bewildering as to why Hypatia had come so heavily armed, Squishy had chose one weapon to aide him, his trusty super psychonic quantum propelled shock blaster.
And so their journey began, it was an odd quirk of fate to find these two former enemies working alongside each other, but these were desperate times, and desperate measures were needed.
It would be a difficult journey, especially for Squishy, who now found Hypatia somewhat attractive, he decided this must be a result of her infusion of cluster lizard DNA.
Maybe after all this is over, he might get to know her better, and maybe they can settle their differences, so that if another threat was posed, their people would stand united as one.
That time was not now, and Squishy still had to remain cautious, for all he knew, she could be leading him into a trap.Tune in tommorrow demented fans for another installment of this demented saga!!!
Squishy
F**k midterms, I’ll add another paragraph:
“So where is this Doctor” Squishy asked. Hypatia stared at him. In spite of the pink spandex, he really was quite cute. She shook her head, telling herself to concentrate. Pulling out the handset for her GPS, she said “18 Km due west. If we hurry, we can reach him before nightfall.”
“And if there are no problems with robots or monsters” Squishy added.
As if to illustrate his point, they heard a loud CRASH.
The metal robot was lumbering towards them, with talons outstretched.
“It can’t attack us both! Run!” Hypatia screamed, pushing Squishy out of the way.
She aimed her shotgun and pulled the trigger……
Right, back to naming polyatomic ions
quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
F**k midterms, I’ll add another paragraph:“So where is this Doctor” Squishy asked. Hypatia stared at him. In spite of the pink spandex, he really was quite cute. She shook her head, telling herself to concentrate. Pulling out the handset for her GPS, she said “18 Km due west. If we hurry, we can reach him before nightfall.”
“And if there are no problems with robots or monsters” Squishy added.
As if to illustrate his point, they heard a loud CRASH.
The metal robot was lumbering towards them, with talons outstretched.
“It can’t attack us both! Run!” Hypatia screamed, pushing Squishy out of the way.
She aimed her shotgun and pulled the trigger……
Right, back to naming polyatomic ions
Right Hypatia, seeing as you have to concentrate on midterms, maybe our little story should have a rest.
We don’t want you to burn out that lovely brain of yours (it’s no good to me fried!!!), and naming polyatomic ions sounds like it needs a serious amount of grey matter…so I’ll leave you to it.
Oh and please don’t explain what polyatomic ions are, I’ve only just learned how to use an abacus and it would go right over my topknot!!!
Squishy Hehe, they are OOOOVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
*Hypatia dances around like an imbicile*
So, we can continue…!
quote:
Originally posted by Hypatia:
F**k midterms, I’ll add another paragraph:“So where is this Doctor” Squishy asked. Hypatia stared at him. In spite of the pink spandex, he really was quite cute. She shook her head, telling herself to concentrate. Pulling out the handset for her GPS, she said “18 Km due west. If we hurry, we can reach him before nightfall.”
“And if there are no problems with robots or monsters” Squishy added.
As if to illustrate his point, they heard a loud CRASH.
The metal robot was lumbering towards them, with talons outstretched.
“It can’t attack us both! Run!” Hypatia screamed, pushing Squishy out of the way.
She aimed her shotgun and pulled the trigger……
Right, back to naming polyatomic ions
You’re to midterms already? I just started my new semester, but I’ve already been given a big writing assignment in interpretation of literature with an unreasonable deadline. So I’ve been working on that, taking periodic breaks to maintain my sanity.
Oh, and I love chemistry.
Okay, maybe I shouldn’t’ve joined this crazy adventure game (or whatever this is). I typed that first post on impulse, then tried to follow up. My mind doesn’t operate on the same wavelength as you two’s. And this is going into a really different direction than I had in mind (this is why I wasn’t a good dungeon master).
Maybe I’ll hire Aleck to write for my character. Right now I think I’ll do my best to keep up with this insanity. ——————
DalekTek790 remained calm. If Hypatia were to figure out why it had retreated from her when it had the perfect opportunity to drink her essence, to deduce what separated her from the many world leaders DalekTek790 had vanquished without hesitation; and if she could use that data to determine the cyborg’s weakness, then maybe she could be find a way to exploit that weakness to defeat it. But its Dalek instincts told it that a being as intellectually inferior and emotionally distracted as a human would be unable to make all those steps before it faced her again, as it had planned. The only way the odds of her reaching that epiphany could be increased would be if she were to contact its old nemesis, an astronomically improbable turn of events. And DalekTek790’s logic circuits, after analyzing the possible scenarios meticulously, had come to the conclusion that their second meeting would end with the successful extraction of Hypatia’s essence. But there were lingering doubts…
——————
“Exterminate!” -Dalek warrior, The Daleks: Episode 4-The Ambush
“Feel the power of the dark Crystal!” -skekTek the Scientist, The Dark Crystal
“I will love you forever!” -drone #790, Lexx 1.1: I Worship His Shadow
[ 14-02-2002: Message edited by: DalekTek790 ]
Chemistry is quite fun, but I despise memorization.
Hypatia was pushed back by the kick of the shotgun. But the Dalek was moving away.
“I could not have done more than dent it” she wondered aloud. “So why did it leave?”
Perhaps it was repelled by the color clash of Squishy’s costume. Red and pink!
Hypatia stood there, dazed and wondering why the Dalek had retreated….
i hate inorganic chemistry, but i actually liked biochem and organic chem…keep going guys! (and good luck on papers,midterms, and such
)Okay, I’ll take some time out of my busy day to continue the story.
By the way, If that thing you were describing was supposed to be a Dalek, I should point out that Daleks are neither robots nor lumbering. Daleks are tentacled green mutants that live inside 1.5 meter tall armored mechanical transports that look like this:
Dalek machines have no legs (with the exception of the rare Spider Daleks), but rather glide along even surfaces on a magnetized base. As its name would suggest, DalekTek790 utilizes the basic Dalek chassis (maybe sometime I’ll send you a picture of DalekTek790).
——————
Hypatia and Squish discover an important clue
“Are you sure this Doctor person can help us?” Squish asked his companion. “I mean, he must be 750 years old, are you sure he still has his wits?”
“He may not be as sharp as he used to be,” Hypatia replied, “but he’s one of the greatest minds in the Universe. Trust me.”
“I suppose you know him better than I do.”
“Just let me do the talking, and don’t make any sudden moves.”Later, in the Inner Sanctum on Gallifrey
“Can you tell us something about the Daleks, Doctor?” Hypatia asked the Ogygian Time Lord.
“The Daleks,” the Doctor paused for a second, lost in thought. “I had never heard of the Daleks before I encountered them for the first time on their home planet of Skaro. It was a dead planet, with petrified forests, radioactive swamps, and some metal monster statue thing, we never really figured out what was up with that…”Fifteen minutes and several pints later
“…So then I said to Gorbechev, ‘I don’t care what you say about Oswald, I was on the grassy knoll at the time, and I saw the whole thing. And you know that Rasputin guy you thought was so neat? Well, that was me.’…”
“Is this going anywhere?” Squish finally asked, annoyed.
“…So anyway, to make a long story short, I bought the magazine.”
“That wasn’t a story!” Squish shrieked. “That was just a bunch of random anecdotes jumbled together in a haphazard and incoherent manner that has no relevance to anything.”
“That’s what they said about The Five Doctors. And look at it now!”
The angry Cluster Lizard continued. “…And it doesn’t tell us anything about the Daleks.”
“Settle down, Squishy,” Hypatia said calmly. “I’ll handle this.” She turned to the Doctor. “Now, we’re fighting DalekTek790, who has improved himself with Dalek D.N.A. Rumor has it that he has a weakness, we thought if you told us any possible weaknesses the Daleks might have, it could apply to DalekTek790.”
“Very well, Leela,” the Time lord obliged.
“I’m Hypatia.”
“Don’t talk to me like that, Leela. I don’t know much about DalekTek790, but I’ll tell you all I know about the Daleks’ weaknesses. For starters, they’ve tried to invade Earth seven times, but have been repelled each time. Or was it eight? No, seven, the Peter Cushing movies don’t count. Say, did any of you see that movie where Peter Cushing is on that island fighting Blobs, only they’re not Blobs like Blob-Blobs, they’re more like Blobs, and they have spaghetti…”
“Stop digressing, you dumb, stupid geezer!” Hypatia yelled, losing her cool.”
“Quiet, Tegan. The reason they’re always repelled is because they can’t predict how humans, or Gallifreyans, or any other race with emotions would act in a certain situation without actually thinking like them. To try to predict human behavior, they extracted what they called the Human Factor, and injected it into Daleks. Only the humanized Daleks were too human, so they revolted and caused the second Dalek Civil War, and a couple model shots later the Dalek Empire was destroyed.”
“So DalekTek790’s weakness is that he can’t comprehend human behavior?” Squish asked, trying to make sense of what the drunken, senile old alien had been saying.
“Oh, I wouldn’t call DalekTek790 a he,” the Doctor said knowingly. “It’s more of an it. Not really male or female. Like Kamelion. Kamelion was a thing, but would take on female when I asked it…”
“How can we defeat DalekTek790?” Hypatia asked.
“Did you try reversing the polarity of the neutron flow?”
“What’s a neutron flow?”
“I don’t even know anymore,” the Doctor admitted, hanging his head in shame.
“What do you know about DalekTek790?”
The Time Lord perked up. “Well, I’m mainly a Dalek expert. I only encountered DalekTek790 a couple times. It never managed to drink my essence, since I only die when the B.B.C. decides to change actors. And it never drank the essence of any of my companions, even though it had a gazillion chances. It mainly just killed blokes on space ships that had three lines before, then me and whichever companion I was travelling with would find it right as the dead bloke’s crewmates did, and they would blame us for the death and think we were spies and stowaways, so the inept guards would be guarding me, but I would escape, and when they were all running up and down corridors I would stand in an indentation and wait for one to run by, then knock them out with my Venusian akido and take their gun…”
Hypatia could see this wasn’t going anywhere productive. “Back to what you said before you degenerated into ramblings. Didn’t you think it was odd that DalekTek790 never attacked any of your companions? Aren’t they usually incredibly naïve and inept and easy targets for monsters?”
“I don’t know. I figured it was just lousy writing. The same reason why my companions can trip over the only rock on a planet and twist their ankle, and why all guards in the universe are incompetent and have no peripheral vision, and why Daleks would charge at me screaming but not a actually shoot at me until it was too late…”
“Okay, this is all fascinating…” Hypatia began.
“Now I suppose you want me to get you back to Alzarius?” the Doctor said, forgetting again who he was talking to.
“No, thank you,” Hypatia responded politely. “Is there anything else of importance you have to say?”
“Klokleda partha menin klatch, haroon, haroon, harooon.”
“I think we should go,” Hypatia said to Squish.Thus ends this episode of adventure
——————
(this is probably the last segment I’ll write for a while)
——————
“Exterminate!” -Dalek warrior, The Daleks: Episode 4-The Ambush
“Feel the power of the dark Crystal!” -skekTek the Scientist, The Dark Crystal
“I will love you forever!” -drone #790, Lexx 1.1: I Worship His Shadow
[ 14-02-2002: Message edited by: DalekTek790 ]
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