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The LEXX rules…
As many of you know, The “Beans” came up with a set of rules for LEXX… They also broke some of them on several occasions. I like rule 2 the most: “All creatures possess a sense of humour.” His Divine Shadow’s one liners crack me up every time.
”The wrote:1. There shall be no rubber-faced aliens.
2. All creatures possess a sense of humour.
3. There is no Prime Directive.
4. There are no life forms more intelligent than humans, unless and until such a life form does the requisite script writing.
5. All planets worth landing-on have human (or reasonably close) life forms.
6. All humans (or reasonable facsimiles) speak the same language.
7. Humans must physically travel to other locations. There shall be no time travel because it has been done before, and done before, and done before, and done before…
8. Technology will rarely work as advertised.
9. No one shall ever defeat an enemy because they are good shots and the enemy are bad shots.
10. Stanley Tweedle shall never lose his hat.
Here’s my variation on them:
1. There shall be no rubbers or contraceptives of any kind.
2. All creatures possess a sense of smell, but some smell more than others.
3. There is no Crime Detective.
4. There are no life forms more intelligent than a mentally challenged slug, unless and until such a life form does the requisite script writing.
5. All planets worth landing on have hot babes, or reasonably close inflatable dolls.
6. All humans (or reasonable facsimiles, i.e. inflatable dolls) are familiar with the ooh la la French-tongue and will use it frequently on mentally challenged slugs.
7. Humans must physically come to travel to other locations. There shall be no time travel because while most clocks have arms, most do not have legs to travel with.
8. Dead assassins’ privates will never work even when advertised on TV. “Buy one dead willy, get the second one free!”
9. No one shall ever defeet an enemy because the enemy never had any feet to begin with!
10. Bugbomb shall never lose his head.
What’s your variation of the rulez?
Logan wrote:I like rule 2 the most: “All creatures possess a sense of humour.” His Divine Shadow’s one liners crack me up every time.
I thought that I was the only one who got them…
‘Now kill yourself’ ranks up there with the best from Pat Paulson.
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