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I wrote this a long time ago after seeing the wonderfully impressive DrDel’s website. It got lost in updates etc. but I recently found it again and thought you might like to see it.
Acknowledgements/Disclaimer: DrDelilah is a very sexy shrink with a crush on Kai. Her pages are so wonderfully, funny, sexy and well written, that I just HAD to do a page as a tribute to her. (And ok it’s a bit of a fantasy too – that damned Kai gets all the luck!). Checkout her site One more thing: If you are under eighteen PLEASE LEAVE! No kidding, this page is not for kiddies!
Scene: DrDelilah’s waiting room where Glecko, the robo-secretary has just switched off the intercom.
Glecko: “You can go in sir, drdel will see you now”.
A tall man with short dark hair, the only other occupant of the waiting room, rises to his feet and with a slight limp, enters the inner office. He stops short as he ogles the person coming around the desk to meet him: a tawny-flame-haired woman wearing a brief bronzy satin mini-skirt and blouse.
SadGeezer has a hang-dog expression on his face, drooling slightly: “WHOA! Yer a bit tasty darlin!”
drdel ~Hmmm! Looks like it’s going to be a long day?~ : “Yes. DrDelilah…drdel for short, but you can call me DrDelilah…… And …. And you must be Sad…. Yes, I think you most definitely are Sad: Please come in and sit down…. here.” pats the arm of a luxurious reclining couchchair.
Sad sits down, while drdel pulls another chair a little closer and elegantly curls up on the edge. She looks at Sad and her eyes give his body the once over. She concludes rather quickly that once is all it takes.
drdel, moistening her bronze-tinted lips with the tip of her tongue: ” So…what can I do for you?” awaits the rather predictable answer.
Sad, somewhat enthusiastically: “Whoa! I could tell ya!!?? I mean, you are that erm… sex therapist aren’t you…. Erm…. can we get straight to the practical …. I mean … I’m not very good at the talky stuff!.”
drdel, leaning back in her chair and resigns herself to the coming confrontation: “I’m a psychiatrist Sad.” ~Wadda plonker?~
drdel, gaze focused on the wall: “Tell me Sad, how are you feeling at the moment?.”
Sad, “Ok I suppose. I have a slight itch on my right foot… erm…. just below the ankle.”
drdel, ~If ignorance is bliss, he must be orgasmic~ “The reason I ask, is that we’re about to play a little game.”
Sad, looking at drdel with a longing expression: “Am I going to enjoy it? Am I going to reach new hights of ecstasy, a new plane of consciousness and feel the tingle of excitement all over my body?” eyes widen, tongue hangs out. He sits up, his knees shudder slightly.
drdel, ~Oh sure!~ placing a firm, slender hand on Sad’s shoulder and gently pushing him back into the recliner….: “No.”
Sad, petulantly: “Why NOT.”
drdel, ~Hhmmmph, I wonder what his expectations really are! He has a wooden leg, a Body Odour problem, bald head, beer belly and a complexion that can best be described as – blotchy!~patiently: “We are about to play a game of word association – nothing more. We’ll start in a moment. I will take down everything you say…..”
Sad, eyes widen and he sits up again: “Knickers!.”
drdel, surprised at the speed of his response:“We haven’t started yet Sad……”
Sad, knee, shaking slightly:“Knickers!”.
drdel, ~hmmm a fixation with women’s underwear, now there’s a surprise – NOT!~nodding: “….”
Sad: “Knickers!”
drdel, ~hmmm…. Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them!~ tapping fingers lightly on the notepad: “You are supposed to wait until I say a word Sad..”
Sad, a little louder: “Knickers?“
drdel, ~Oh good grief… there’s nothing like doing a joke to death~ ….
Sad, trying to break through her apparent boredom: “Knickers, knickers, knickers, knickers!?“
drdel, ~oh, ho hum~ yawning:“when you’ve quite finished!?”
Sad, expectantly: “Tee hee”
drdel, sitting up a little straighter: “Ok, tell me the first word that comes into your head when I say……. LEXX.”
Sad, looking at drdel with a glazed expression: “Pardon. Did you say LEXX or SEX?”.
drdel, dragging her eyes away from the ceiling: “Which would you prefer.”
Sad: “Sex”.
drdel, ~ok lets play along~delicately: “Ok, sex.”
Sad, silent for a moment: “LEXX”
drdel, ~Some men are idiots … This man is their King!~ sighing a little “No I said sex!”
Sad, pouting and smiling ~Aye-up! I reckon she fancies me!~ “No I said LEXX – that show is pure sex!”
drdel: ~He probably thinks innuendo is an Italian suppository!~ sighs ~I wish I was doing Kai!~ “This isn’t working.” tries another approach “Tell me Sad, do you have a girlfriend?”
Sad, ~Ah Ha! She’s definitely interested!~ shrugging his shoulders: “Why, are you interested darlin? – You’ll have to get in line babe! I have erm…. erm…. hundreds, yeah, hundreds of girlfriends.”
drdel, ~I wish I was doing Kai! hmmmm, tasty delectable Kai…. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?~ striving to avoid Sad’s expectant gaze: “erm… So you’re not seeing anyone then?”
Sad: “No. Erm… I’m between girlfriends at the moment”
drdel, ~Ha! He should be so lucky~“OK, Is this why you spend so much time on your web site Sad? It’s very impressive by the way, soooo much stuff. I’m surprised you have any time at all for relationships – of any kind!”
Sad, shifting a little on his couch: “Well, …. erm …. I’m a fast typist”
drdel, ~I’ll bet that’s not all your fast at~ leaning forward a little: “When was the last time you had a girlfriend?”
Sad, looking sheepishly at drdel: “Wot, you mean in the Biblical sense?….. Erm…. yesterday afternoon, five at once – and they loved it RIGHT! Kept begging me for more they did!”
drdel, ~Oh my GOD!! He’s a virgin!~ gently , “Yes, erm…what did you do exactly!”
Sad, ~This girl is just begging for it!~ thinking “Erm… well… we …erm…. had a cup of coffee…. Erm… and…. then we chatted a bit… erm… and then they all took their clothes off and had their wicked way with me……….yes.”
drdel, checking the clock discreetly: “You’re lying, aren’t you Sad?….. You’re a virgin aren’t you?”
Sad, silent for several seconds: “NO! ….NO WAY! ….. ABSOLUTELY NOT! …. erm… yes”
drdel, ~Is this guy for real – how old is he?~ serious: “And how old are you exactly?
Sad, lying: “29?”
[ 29-12-2002: Message edited by: SadGeezer ]
THE REST OF THIS STORY WAS MOVED TO THE SECOND THREAD OF THE SAME NAME
[ 29-12-2002: Message edited by: SadGeezer ]
*giggle* Your a very naughty, naugty sadgeezer. ;p
Thanks for reposting it.
that was great, Saddy!!!
Inspiring!!! (With a wicked grin and a wink)!
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