‘Van Helsing’ hmmm :/

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  • #39899
    SadGeezerSadGeezer
    Keymaster

    I went to see it with Newkate last night and although the special effects were good I found myself being a bit bored :{

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    The good bits:
    Special effects were wonderful! Truly great – especially the scene with Mr. Hyde
    Nice looking – girls looked great though it was for 12 year olds so not very much T&A (though lots of bare chests :/ for the girls).

    Bad bits:
    Storyline was total garbage. I mean real stupid stuff!!! It galls me that studio producers probably decided to make a cool film which they then dumbed down for teenagers. I hate being patronised to and this film …. on the whole… was patronising and ended up pissing me off.

    Stupid bits:
    One of the beautiful vampire ladies can lay around a thousand man sized ‘eggs’ in one sitting (and they hang from the roof) – {Imagine meeting Dracula in a pub, ‘Sorry the wife can’t make it tonight, she’s squatting on the ceiling laying eggs’}.

    You could prolly accept that Van Helsing was not a mere mortal, but the broad?! She was bouncing around like Buffy and didn’t even seem to get a scratch. Also, what the hell is it with Hollywood! The love interest ALWAYS behaves like a complete bitch to the hero?!

    Apparently if you get bitten by a werewolf a couple of days after a full moon, you only have two days before the next full moon…..

    … and lots of other stupid bits that are too depressing to mention.

    #70792
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I saw it last night. I think the best word to describe it is “fun”.

    Because like Sad mentioned, it’s pure Hollywood trash hehe. And some of the continuity (like the Moon bit) was really off.

    But I liked it, it was “fun”. Now that Lotr was a huge hit, we can expect hundreds of trashy Sci-Fi/Horror/Fantasy films, woohoo!

    #70795
    theFrey
    Participant

    I went to see it with Newkate last night and although the special effects were good I found myself being a bit bored :{ … and lots of other stupid bits that are too depressing to mention.

    Yep, yep yep.. but it is a LOUD boring. You cannot fall asleep if they keep the volume high enough. (I had ear plugs in so it was still possible for me.) theSpouse even complained about how loud it was…. this coming from a man who normally has his television on the 8th or 9th volume bar.

    Bad bits:
    Storyline was total garbage. I mean real stupid stuff!!! It galls me that studio producers probably decided to make a cool film which they then dumbed down for teenagers. I hate being patronised to and this film …. on the whole… was patronising and ended up pissing me off.

    Even theSpouse noticed that it was every comic book horror plot in history. It was like they tore up a bunch of comic books and then just picked up pages at random tucking them into what for lack of a better word we will call ‘plot’

    I liked the vampire babe’s costumes and I thought the guy playing Drac was pretty interesting… but I do wonder that so much of this took place in the winter, yet everyone wandered around without even adding an extra cloak or when they huddled… it was under one thin blanket. Me? quilts and furs would have been heaped on the beds 18″ high!

    #70796
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I’m reminded by the van Helsing “trailer” of Universal’s 1948 Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein* where A & C also meet Dracula and the Wolf Man… Sounds like if Van Helsing is intended as an homage to the golden age of Universal monster movies, then it’s a sad tribute indeed.

    Edit: *methinks they should’ve called it Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein’s Monster

    #70819
    lizard
    Participant

    Yes I saw it too. But I had already heard that it was lightweight fare– so I actually quite enjoyed myself. I thought that the comedy was intentional, But Saddy you are so right about the full moon thing. That was a bit much!

    As for the clothing, for this type of movie, there can never be too little clothing, and agree with sad that it was in fact kind of prudish in a way. How was that little loin cloth preserved on the cutie werewolf boy anyway?

    #68031
    lexxrobotech
    Participant

    I thought it was fun, but nothing special. One thing that did make me think, was that it’s time we a had a decent horror movie come out. It’s been too long.

    #68105
    theFrey
    Participant

    I had to laugh yesterday. I was listening to the radio on the way to work and the producer/movie critic bit they were doing was diss’ing it… and they were also fussing about the incrediably loud volume. As one put it, loud does not make it more dramatic, it just makes it loud! 😆

    #68035
    aquabloodstone
    Participant

    I just went to see it on Sunday night. It’s good summer movie fare. Doesn’t make you think too much, attractive people doing improbable things and lots of fire! It was definitely LOUD! I must agree on that one. I couldn’t be bored, too many people were jumping at every other scene around me. I did think the female vampire cackles were a bit Wicked Witch of the West. And as always, the perennial horror movie question; Why do peple go outside at night in a vampire-infested village?

    #71805
    Anonymous
    Guest

    😀

    WOOO HOOO!!! I finally found the spot where folks are talking about this movie!!!!

    BE WARNED: I *LOVED* this movie and saw it 4 times. 😀

    I’m not sure about all the complaints I’ve finding where ever I go: here, the IMDB board, or the bb set up on the “Boy From Oz” offical theater site. This movie was supposed to be FUN and an homage to the Universal movie monsters. I think it was BOTH. Those Universal movies could get pretty campy……. they WERE meant to be summer teen movies, after all. 😉

    As for the volume: it was just as LOUD as the commercials they now show along with the trailers before the movie starts, so I guess I didn’t really notice. Besides, all the better to hear every word Hugh Jackman utters…… 😈

    I’ve seen so many complaints about the full moon thing and many are not willing to accept that Sommers merely did a bit of time compression by NOT showing the passage of time – in the same way “Troy” shows the Trojan war lasting only about a month, at best. In the most offending scene – where Van Helsing gets bit in one scene and then the next scene in Budapest indicates the full moon is almost back – I think folks have missed something. When we last see our heros the carriage is burned, the horses have run off, Velkan is dead, Van Helsling bitten, and Anna carried off by the last bride – Alleera. Watching her fly off with Anna, you see a city in the background and one more mountain between the heros and the city.

    The Creature is a big lumbering thing with a piston in his bum leg. Van Helsing has a nasty chest wound from a werewolf bite. I doubt Carl has had much chance to get mountian climbing experience, since he never leaves the abbey. I’m sure it had to take more than just one day to climb DOWN the moutain they were on, then climb UP and DOWN the next one to get to the city. That part was just skipped over.

    In the next scene the trio finally arrive in the city. No idea if it’s the outskirts or they’re in the absolute center of the city, but they DO look bone-weary. The confusion about the passage of time may occur when the creature and Carl finally realize Van Helsing’s been bitten by the Velkanwolf. The wound still looks fresh, however, in one of the versions of the werewolf legend I’ve read the wound inflicted by a werewolf NEVER heals. So, Van Helsing’s wound could still look as fresh as the day he got it, even one month later.

    In any case, this apparent lapse in continuity bothered me a LOT less than the lapses in “Troy.”

    MM
    (who also loves “Waterworld”)

    😉

    #71810
    theFrey
    Participant

    Four times Micro? Four times? 🙂

    I’m guessing it wasn’t because you liked the sets and costumes…… 🙂

    #71813
    bambooshoot
    Participant

    I have to admit I liked it…I thought it was pretty cool. Ok so it was hardly Ingmar Bergman’s The Seventh Seal, but it was fun.

    I’ll get me coat!

    Bambooshoot 😆

    #71839
    Anonymous
    Guest

    OK, Frey, this is just for you. 😛 Enquiring minds want to know. 😉

    Micro’s Top Ten
    Reasons Why I Liked “Van Helsing”

    10. The way the vampires and werewolves look when morphed.

    9. The WAY the vampires and werewolves morphed.

    8. The FX in general

    7. The homage to those wonderful Universal movie monsters I grew up with on late-night TV. (With apologies to Samuel West. No one can scream “IT’S ALIVE!!” with the same maniacal ecstacy as Colin Clive)

    6. The clever way the myths of Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster and the Werewolf were woven together.

    5. All of Van Helsing’s toys.

    4. Hugh Jackman in black leather!

    3. Hugh Jackman without a shirt!!

    2. Hugh Jackman without a shirt and (almost no) pants!!!

    and the NUMBER ONE reason I saw “Van Helsing” so many times…..

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    ……….HUGH JACKMAN!!!!!!!!!!!

    😀 😀 😀

    #72275
    SlickWhistle
    Participant

    I only have a few words

    Hugh Jackman …. MMMM MMMM MMMM!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

    #72296
    Anonymous
    Guest

    😮 OHMIGOD!

    I just realized I left something off my Top Ten list (which would actually make it a Top Eleven….)

    Hugh Jackman with LOOOONG HAIR!!!!!! 😀

    :::::THUD::::::

    (Micro passes out in a pool of her own drool)
    😈

    #72319
    theFrey
    Participant

    I just heard on the radio this morning that Hugh Jackman is already committed to a sequel for this movie. Anyone know anything about that?

    Oh, and he is also committed to an X-men sequel also.

    #72326
    Rag
    Participant

    They’re making a sequel???? Wasn’t one enough???? I don’t see how they can make a sequel. I don’t think there are any more classic horror stories to mutilate.

    You may have guessed, but I wasn’t impressed. I mean… Van Helsing was responsible for the creation of Dracula? Please. let’s just forget about classic literature and create more pulp for the masses.

    Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy mindless entertainment as much as (probably more than) anyone. But this was a poor film. And could they have go a less sinister Dracula????

    #72329
    SlickWhistle
    Participant

    I heard about the VH signing on ETonite.

    I believe that I heard about that when Mr. Sexy was on a talk show. He was asked if he would return for a XM sequel and he said that he would. Of course, things change quickly in Hollyweird.

    #72330
    SlickWhistle
    Participant

    I got ya. This movie isn’t a classic by any means. I wouldn’t pay full price to see it again.

    I just looked at as a vehicle for Hugh Jackman and an adventure movie that used the character names of Dracula and Van Helsing.

    Once I looked at it that way, I found it was a lot easier to enjoy.

    #72336
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I just heard on the radio this morning that Hugh Jackman is already committed to a sequel for this movie. Anyone know anything about that?

    Oh, and he is also committed to an X-men sequel also.

    Yep, when Sommers pitched the idea to Universal to bring back their classic movie monsters they were so sold on the idea they gave him the go-ahead for a franchise, as long as the first movie did well. From what I’ve read at the BFO website, the movie did well. In several interviews I’ve read Jackman was mulling over the fact that he was going to be commited to *TWO* big franchises and his agent was ready to kick him in the head (so to speak) for worrying about a future many actors would kill for! 😉

    IMDB indicates X-men 3 is already in preproduction, but I know Hugh is planning to take a year-long vacation after his run with BFO ends in Sept. At least I got MY tickets for the end of August…….

    For the next Van Helsing movie I already have my own ideas. Since the cartoon prequel was called “The London Assignment” I think the next movie should be called “The Paris Assignment.” Van Helsing goes back to Notre Dame to enlist the help of Quasimodo, who was in hiding while that mean Mr Hyde was smashing up the place, in capturing the murderous Phantom of the Opera. Along the way, Van Helsing develops feelings for Christine Daae, but of course she’s in love with Raoul, so nothing can come of it. We discover that the famous crashing of the chandelier actually occurs during a fight between Erik and Van Helsing, but it’s not clear exactly WHO cut the rope: Erik with a sword, or Van Helsing with his tojo blades. This only adds to Van Helsing’s already heavy burden of angst over killing people, even bad people…..

    I still haven’t worked out the ending yet, but there are still Universal monsters to be dealt with in this new franchise. Let’s not forget about The Invisible Man ….. and if Sommers is bold enough and Arnold Vosloo is available, he could intersect his Mummy franchise with his Van Helsing franchise!!!!! 😮

    Micro

    #72339
    aquabloodstone
    Participant

    First, there are many many many places to draw more monsters from – Universal, literature etc – (as so aptly pointed out by micromary)

    Second, Micromary – great plotline!

    Third, Arnold Vosloo and Hugh Jackman in the same movie 😀 To borrow a phrase from the Michael McManus drooler thread at lexxfans.com – Flaming Panties are an inevitability 😉

    #72368
    theFrey
    Participant

    Van Helsing’s excellent adventure?? 😀 They could head that way. 😀

    So, the long hair was reason number 11? 🙂 Yes, but does he use l’Oreal and is he worth it? 😉

    #72395
    theFrey
    Participant

    Hey MicroM! Did you see this?

    “The Boy From Oz,” which closes Sept. 12, has been doing strong business (on Broadway) since the June 6 Tony Awards, which featured its star, Hugh Jackman, as host.

    #72450
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Hey MicroM! Did you see this?

    “The Boy From Oz,” which closes Sept. 12, has been doing strong business (on Broadway) since the June 6 Tony Awards, which featured its star, Hugh Jackman, as host.

    I suspected as much when I saw he won a Tony for Best Actor in a Musical. I convinced HubbyEd we WERE going to see this play before it closed in Sept. I got my tickets for the Aug 25th matinee. I told HE all Iwanted for my birthday was Hugh Jackman.. 😉 😀

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