What’s my Subgenius name?

[Flamegrape]

Aleck, I think you’ll find this particularly amusing….

I posed the question on alt.binaries.slack:
(sorry, I know that newgroup text is written in confuso-format…)

quote:

---

Subject: Re: Queation: Am I a Reverend or a Doctor?
From: “Rev. Ivan Stang”
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.slack

In article , Rev. Xenu v
0.3 wrote:

> On Tue, 16 Apr 2002 20:37:11 -0700, dyskolos
> wrote:
>
> >Rev Flamegrape wrote:
> >>
> >> I paid my $30 a few months ago. Because I’ve been blessed with so much
> >> slack, I haven’t gotten around to mailing in my postcard to register my
> >> name
> >> in the Book of Life.
> >>
> >> But what’s my “church name”? I know my name is Flamegrape. But am I a
> >> Reverend or a Doctor? I know I’m no Saint or whut-not. But I wanted to know
> >> if there is a general difference between Doctor and Reverend.
> >>
> >
> >You have the OBLIGATION to call yourself any damn thing you please.
> >There’s no difference between any two or more phony made-up titles.
> >Anybody who tells you you have to do or be something before you are
> >allowed to make up a name or title for yourself is an evil liar. But
> >then, if you had any sense you wouldn’t have paid your $30. So now
> >you have to pay ME $30 dollars to tell you what your true name is.
> >And it’s spelled SUCKER.
> Nail.
> head.
> hit.

I guess neither one of you brilliant super-detectives ever heard of
“X-Day” and “the Escape Vessels of the Sex Goddesses.” We’ll wave to
you “super-geniuses” down below from our ascending Stairways to Heaven,
grinning out the portholes at you from around our huge bags of pot,
money, and good comic books, pitying you through the murky
half-consciousness of our Blowjob That Never Ends.

Actually I believe Dispepsios here DID send in his $30 back when it was
$10 or so, and even if he didn’t, I don’t think you’ll find a bigger
Sucker for “Bob” in the whole wide world except possibly for me.

(I incidentally actually DID send in my $30 just before the alleged
July 5 1998.)

—
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: [email protected]
PRABOB

---

But then Stang also wrote in direct response to my question:

quote:

---

Subject: Re: Queation: Am I a Reverend or a Doctor?
From: “Rev. Ivan Stang”
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.slack

In article , Rev
Flamegrape wrote:

> I paid my $30 a few months ago. Because I’ve been blessed with so much
> slack, I haven’t gotten around to mailing in my postcard to register my name
> in the Book of Life.
>
> But what’s my “church name”? I know my name is Flamegrape. But am I a
> Reverend or a Doctor? I know I’m no Saint or whut-not. But I wanted to know
> if there is a general difference between Doctor and Reverend.

If you sent in $30 you’re a Reverend whether you want to be or not.

>
> Is a Reverend good for preachin’ Bob’s gobblespell? A public speaker? I
> ain’t that, that’s fer sure.

No, it’s just somebody now without $30.

>
> Is a Doctor a musician or an artist? If so, that’s me! I’m a computer artist
> and amature sound engineer and videographer.

If you are the kind of artist or musician who can’t stop no matter how
awful your output is, then you’re a Doktor.

If you manipulate and lie to everyone around you to enrich yourself
with Slack, and generally make a loud spectacle of yourself in doing
so, then you fit the Pope profile.

If you do The Stuff That’s Not Fun that all the other types avoid even
thinking about, you’re a Saint, you PORE *******. Dobbs loves the
Saints best because they give more money.

>
> I want to know some info about this before I send off my postcard. I want to
> do the right thing and not mislead any of you!

And YOU CALL YOURSELF A SUBGENIUS?!?!?

>
> And is it okay if i send my postacard to the old Dallas address, like it’s
> printed on the card already?

Sure it’ll just take longer.

>
> Your humble master,
>
> Rev.? Dr.? Flamegrape
>
>

—
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: [email protected]
PRABOB

---

So I replied to Stang:

quote:

---

Subject: Re: Queation: Am I a Reverend or a Doctor?
From: “Biovizier Flamegrape”
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.slack

“Rev. Ivan Stang” wrote in message
news:180420021004446370%[email protected]…
> In article , Rev
> Flamegrape wrote:
> > Is a Doctor a musician or an artist? If so, that’s me! I’m a computer
artist
> > and amature sound engineer and videographer.
>
> If you are the kind of artist or musician who can’t stop no matter how
> awful your output is, then you’re a Doktor.
>
> If you manipulate and lie to everyone around you to enrich yourself
> with Slack, and generally make a loud spectacle of yourself in doing
> so, then you fit the Pope profile.

I fit the Doktor prescription. But I’m not quite Pope material, but I try. I
don’t lie very much ’cause it’s just so much more fun to tell the hole truth
and nuttin’ butt.

Biovizier is the title for me. It just makes senseless sense somehow.

> > I want to know some info about this before I send off my postcard. I
want to
> > do the right thing and not mislead any of you!
>
> And YOU CALL YOURSELF A SUBGENIUS?!?!?

Whut wuz I tinkin’? Thanxx, man. A swift kick in the pants back at ya.
I betcha, yessiriBob.

See sig below.
(Or above, depending on local gravity.)

—
Biovizier Flamegrape
Reverend Mother of the Zygote Planetoid
Orion Nebulae Stellar Nursery

---

Maybe I should include:

“Deputy Assistant Backup Subgenius Acolyte 4th Class”

[Anonymous]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Flamegrape:
Aleck, I think you’ll find this particularly amusing….

---

‘Deed I did.

You have to send in a *postcard* now? Jeebus, when I joined, I never had to send in a postcard. What’s that all about?

To be honest, I haven’t kept up with SubG news for a while now, so I’m out of the loop a lot of the time. It took me forever to realize that Stang was no longer with Someone Else and was now in Cleveland! And I only just *now* found out that the Sacred P.O. Box had moved! Oh, the sad state that is my informational system these days.

Dang, now I’m paranoid. Should I contact Stang for one? This ain’t for “priority seating and complimentary lap-dance” on the Pleasure Saucers, is it?

–Aleck

[Author]

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