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“If there’s anything more important than my ego in this room, I want it caught and shot!”
Zaphod Beeblebrox III (or nothingth – depending on your view of temporal dynamics)
‘I’ve got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side’
Marvin the Paranoid Android
(best one I can think of off the top of my head)
“It could be I’m a pretty dangerous dude when I’m cornered” -Zaphod
“Yeah you go to pieces so fast people get hit by the shrapnel”
“What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?”
“Ask a glass of water.”“Time is an illusion, lunch time doubly so.”
Arthur: “It’s times like this when I’m stuck in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about the asphixiate in deep space that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young”
Ford: “Why, what did she tell you”
Arthur: “I don’t know, I didn’t listen!”
Am I bothering you? Pardon me for breathing which I never do anyway so I don’t know why I even bother to mention it oh GOD I’m so depressed, here’s another one of those self-satisfied doors. Life ,don’t talk to ME about Life….. – Marvin
the following was from the series…
Slartibartfast, to Arthur while on Magrathea:
Is that your robot?
Marvin:
No, I’m minei also like to comment on the fact that I believe wholeheartedly that 790 was inspired by Marvin . An android with a strong singular personality flaw. Also ,because 790 is the direct polar opposite of Marvin, (ie. where 790 is a love slave who hates people, Marvin is a paranoid android who doesn’t care about people one way or another)
Just before they get blasted to Milliways….
“…. You’re not dealing with any dumb trigger pumping morons with low hairlines little piggy eyes and no conversation! We’re a couple of caring intelligent guys that you’d probably like if you met us socially. I don’t go around gratuitously shooting people and then brag about it afterwards in seedy space rangers bars. I go around gratuitously shooting people and then I agonise about it later to my girlfriend.”
And the other one adds, “And I write novels”.
My favorite line isnt directly from the series but its what got me interested in it.
About 10 years ago(wow that long!?!) there was an ad showing a computer face telling Ford:
“We did save all the intelligent life on earth how dare you accuse otherwise!?”
Meanwhile out a porthole you see a poorly drawn dolphin waving a fin saying
“Goodbye humans, and thanks for all the fish”
and with a dolphin like snicker he was gone.
The scenes with the ultimate computer were funny too but my favorite has to be:
“All the planning charts and demolition orders have been displayed at your local planning department on Alpha Centauri for 50 of your Earth years. You’ve had plenty of time to lodge a formal complaint and it is far too late to start making a fuss about it now!”
From Life the Universe and Everything:
“You’re a no-good dumbo nothing,” whispered the creature. “I thought you
should know that before you went.”From the Epilogue of So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish:”There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler’s mind.”
And last from Mostly Harmles(the line that nearly made me cry while I was dying laughing at the same time):
“It was pretty much the same as all the previous months except that there was now nothing on the television any more. ““The dew has clearly fallen with a particularly sickening thud this morning” – Marvin the paranoid android
“You know what I’m thinking?” Zaphod said
“I think so,” said Ford
“Tell me what you think I’m thinking.”
“I think you’re thinking it’s time we got off this ship.”
“I think you’re right,” said Zaphod
“I think you’re right,” said Ford
“How?” said Arthur
“Quiet,” said Ford and Zaphod, “we’re thinking.”“Listen three-eyes, don’t you try to outweird me. I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.” – Zaphod
Now the world has gone to bed,
Darkness won’t engulf my head,
I can see by infared,
How I hate the night.Now I lay me down to sleep,
Try to count electric sheep,
Sweet dream wishes you can keep,
How I hate the night.
—- Marvins’ Lullaby in LtheUandE“Hi guys, you must be so amazingly glad to see me you can’t even find words to tell me what a cool frood I am” – Zaphod (of course)
Arthur “I eventually had to go down to the celler”
Prosser “That’s the display department”
Arthur “With a torch”
Prosser “Well, the lights had probably gone”
Arthur “so had the stairs!”
Prosser “But they were on display?”
Arthur “Yes, they were on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet with a sign on the door saying ‘beware of the leopard’ have you ever thought of a career in advertising?”
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