Zed in the Land of the Geese, er, something
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Note: I have edited this post for my fine feathered friends since I may have layed a not so golden egg with my last version. The horror, the horror! Please gander this version if you dare. I think it’s sure to give you goose-bumps.
*Logan ducks rocks for excessive use of fowl plays on words*Oh, and sorry that this version makes so little sense, I’m just winging it.
It’s sort of Zardoz meets The Lawnmower Man and it stars the honky Stockwell Anatidae as the God of the Geese (though any goose references have absolutely no relevance to the story) and myself as Zed.
The year is undecided, though it takes place sometime during the Golden Ova Age.
Anatidae downloads himself into a computer and becomes a disembodied godlike giant talking head honcho goose gif file (or something like that) who flies around the internet looking to brainwash aspiring writers into becoming Bad Geese recruits — he appears to the devout as an irritating pop-up window. In a loud booming mp3 file he honks out at his worshippers, “The keyboard is good. The pen is, is, evil (especially the quill ones made from my fallen comrades feathers)! It shoots ink and messes up your pockets unless you have one of those nifty plastic pocket-protectors that can…” [original quote — 122K wav — [url=http://www.badmovies.org/movies/zardoz/zardoz2.wav]here[/url] ]
Zed is a decent poet and an excellent calligraphy artist before becoming the quack net-head’s naive acolyte. Upon hearing the great goose’s words he flocks to the cause, throws away his quill pen and picks up a SWORD 1000 ERGONOMIC KEYBOARD PRO in order to fight for Anatidae — yes, he decides, from now on he will goose-step to the beat of a different drumstick.
Later he realises that the giant head is no real goose at all, and is just a front for a little human webmaster — it’s a clear cut case of fowl play! Zed seeks revenge! With great technical aptitude and cunning, Zed follows a link from the Goose Head’s pop-up window into the forbidden Internet Vortex — The Land of the Geese.
At first the website looks like paradise, despite the total lack of any geese, but then he learns of the Apathetics — those Geesers who are board members but can’t be bothered to post. Slowly all of Anatidae’s members are turning apathetic as boredom sets in!
Now how fowl is that?
[i]to be continued[/i]
[b]Disclaimer[/b]: Any similarity to geese either living or dead is purely coincidental.
[img]http://www.members.shaw.ca/funky2funky/My%20Pictures/zardoz.jpg[/img]P.S. Here is a link to the Zardoz trailer — for people into strange, disturbing, and often humorously bad psychadelic sci-fi movies. You need Quick Time (or should that be Quack Time?) to view it.
[url=http://moviefilmfest.com/html/Zardoz_MGM_DVD.htm]Zardoz trailer.[/url]P.P.S. I gave up on writing original (and even unoriginal) fiction some time ago, so this is an altered version of an altered version of something I wrote [url=http://madeincanada.ca/board/viewthread.php3?FID=5&TID=101&pagenumber=1]here[/url] .
P.P.P.S. So, for those who read my last version, how does this compare to it? What rating would you give this one? Personally I’d give it a big fat goose egg!
P.P.P.P.S And on a very personal note: My lovely wife’s name is Anita, but her old nickname is Ducks, so I call her Anitadae (anatidae is the family name for ducks and geese etc.)
And on a related note regarding rules, is Stockwell Anatidae alright to use? I’ve parodied the name of a Canadian politican, but it should be sufficiently altered to be acceptible. Anyway, parody is usually considered fair play if you’re worried about being held liable.Oh, and sorry about using the nicks before in the story, I didn’t think you were referring to nicknames, especially considering that it was written as parody.
[ 07-11-2002: Message edited by: Logan ]
Cute adaptation sunshine. Actually I only have one tiny correction… my name is pronounced ‘FRY’ so they leapt in to the FRY’ing pan and out of the fire. [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
Great puns, however, I’m a little freytened to mention it, but I felt compelled to edit my post, so your response doesn’t work as well as it should. Sorry.
It’s a cute story. I kind of like it.
[img]images/smiles/icon_smile.gif[/img]But I bumped the rules thread as a reminder to ask permission before using other users’ names in your stories. The issue is that other users might get offended and start flame wars, etc.
Please continue your story! But don’t get too carried away. (Boy, I kind of sound like a wet blanket!)
[img]images/smiles/icon_smile.gif[/img]Now I’m inspired to go out and rent [i]Zardoz[/i]…
quote:
Originally posted by mandara k:
Uh, oh another Canadian Goose; ewww. Bad foul, bad bad bad.
You mean, “bad fowl!”
Or maybe foul fowl
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