Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy: Character Bios: Zaphod Beeblebox
Zaphod is an idol in the cult sci fi fraternity! and this Sad Geezers role model. He is played marvellously by Mark Wing-Davey.
The man is the epitome of all that is cool! He is, for instance, the inventor of the famous Pan Galactic GargleBlaster! and was also famous for uttering the remarkable phrase, “Never drink more than two Pan Galactic GargleBalasters unless you are a Thirty Tonne Mega Elephant with Bronchial Pneumonia”. See what I mean? The geezer is a genius!
He was just some ordinary cool dude until he had the good taste to increase his social standing in the community by having an extra head and arm grafted onto his body. These appendages don’t provide any particular increase in strength or intellectual ability or even sexual performance, but they do look really cool huh!?
If you were to meet Zaphod in a pub, he would manage to successfully persuade you to buy him a drink within 30 seconds! You would be annoyed that once you had done so, he would walk away and talk to a blonde girl at the end of the bar.
He is an ex-confidence trickster and part-time Galactic President and was once described by Excentrical Golumbits (the triple breasted whore of Erotogon 6), as the “best bang since the Big one” (hey! hang on! – I thought that was me! ) and he was also recently voted the worst dressed sentient being in the universe (for the seventh time running).
His personal shrink also described him (rather succinctly) as; “Zaphod is just this guy you know”. (I reckon the geezer had just finished sucking a sink ).
Zaphod is a part cousin (they shared the same three mothers) of Ford Prefect though the two were not particularly close.
He once met Arthur at a party in Islington (small galaxy huh?). Phil, as he was called then, came over while Arthur was chatting up a prospective girlfriend, and said those immortal words “hey, is this guy boring you?” (Such condescension, such class – so cool!). Obviously the girl (Tricia Macmillan) was taken aback by his charm and stayed with him under an assumed name of Trillian!
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The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy character biographies are © 1999, 2000 Tony Fawl. Not for reproduction without the authors express permission
The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy names, characters and everything else associated with the series are the property of The British Broadcasting Corporation & Douglas Adams.