Buffy the Vampire Slayer: People: Anya

Anya
The Vengeance Demon
Aka Anyanka, patron saint of women scorned

Anya was born some eleven hundred twenty years ago. When she turned her nasty, dumb, cheating boyfriend into a troll with the use of some handy folk magic, the high demon called D’Hoffryn gave her a job of the Vengeance Demon. The package included wish-granting powers, teleportation skills, nigh-invulnerability and immortality! Not bad at all! I think we all know what we will do if our men start fooling around, do we, girls?

So Anya became Anyanka, patron saint of women scorned. As she says herself: “For a thousand years I wielded the powers of The Wish. I brought ruin to the heads of unfaithful men. I brought forth destruction and chaos for the pleasure of the lower beings. I was feared and worshipped across the mortal globe.” But then Giles broke her power centre (no, it’s not what you think, it was her magic talisman), because she made a mistake of crossing him, and she was stripped of her powers and became a mortal again. She was understandably upset about that but managed to adjust. After discovering she has “feelings” for Xander she practically forced him to give her a god servicing in the hope to get over him that way, but it did not work, and before he knew it, Xander became her boyfriend. Their relationship was mostly based on a vast amount of healthy sex (they did not have much else in common), but Anya loved Xander a lot and he cared about her, too. Pretty soon they moved in together.

At first Anya did not have much knowledge of social norms and rules, and was quite tactless and out-of place, much to Xander’s embarrassment. But the more she learned about social rituals and pleasantries the less she liked and understood them, so now she’s a bit less wacky but just as blunt!

Anya’s quick wit, total absence of social inhibitions and unusual perspective on things made her a successful businesswoman. She took over Magic Box after Giles left for England and made a small fortune in online stock trading.

After Xander left her at the altar, Anya accepted D’Hoffryn’s proposal to become a Vengeance Demon again, but after several unsuccessful attempts to wreak vengeance on Xander she realised that she does not really want him any harm. I guess it was mature and all, but don’t you think she got it right the first time around – nasty boyfriends should be turned into trolls? Well, maybe it’s just me.

Guys, if you meet Anya in the pub, make sure to be extra nice to your girlfriend. Buy her fancy cocktails, tell her compliments and, most importantly, don’t live her alone with Anya! Not for a second!

Girls, if you meet Anya in the pub, she’ll be the one to start a conversation. Invariably you will end up talking about your boyfriend’s shortcomings. If he has any, next time you see him he’ll be a troll, or covered in boils, or, most likely, both, and his shortcomings will be even shorter.

Anya is played by Emma Caulfield

Anya: I like you. You’re funny and you’re nicely shaped, and frankly it’s ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not interlock. Please remove your clothing now.
(Harsh Light of Day)

Anya: You know you really should get yourself a boring boyfriend. Like Xander. You can’t have Xander.
(Goodbye Iowa)

Anya: A year and a half ago I could have eviscerated him with my thoughts. Now I can barely hurt his feelings. Things used to be so much simpler.
(Where the Wild Things are)