Aka Elisabeth Ann Summers
In every generation there is a Chosen one. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.
Our Slayer is a cute petite blonde called Buffy, and any dark force that decides to mock her name, height or fashion sense would be a total idiot.
She is supernaturally strong and fast, expert in hand-to-hand combat, good with a crossbow and rocket launcher, has amazing healing powers, and is a true leader. She also sometimes has prophetic dreams. And yes, some are wet.
Buffy is originally from Los-Angeles. In her old high school she was very popular, had many friends, and was Prom Princess, Fiesta Queen, and on the cheerleading squad. To quote: “the yearbook was, like, a story of me” (Buffy, Homecoming). That all changed when, at the age of fifteen, she discovered that the world is full of vampires, demons and scary monsters of all shapes and sizes, and it’s her sacred duty to kick their evil backsides and protect the innocent.
Naturally, this kind of responsibility leaves little time to socialise, date and shop for shoes. I think it was really heroic of Buffy to make that sacrifice, and it was only the beginning!
Whilst battling evil, she managed to burn down the school gym (she will always be my hero if only for that alone), and was expelled. The only other decent school to take her was in one-Starbucks town of Sunnydale, South California. Naturally, that’s exactly where the Hellmouth is – a gate into the hell dimension and a hub for all that’s evil, wrong and supernatural. The evil is so, well, evil around here, Buffy hardly ever gets a day off from all the slaying. With the help of her watcher Giles and friends Xander and Willow, Buffy managed to stand against abovementioned forces of darkness for six whole years, saved a lot of people making her class one with the lowest mortality rate in the Sunnydale’s history, averted the end of the world about seven times, and also graduated from high school with great marks and got into college. She died only a couple of times, which is very impressive.
Despite being the only child, Buffy has a sixteen-year-old sister Dawn. After their mother died from brain tumour (sob), Buffy had to leave college to take care of Dawn. To support the family, Buffy works at a fast-food place called Doublemeat Palace, which harbours a sinister secret (there is no meat in their burgers).
Buffy is exceptionally unlucky in love. Angel, first guy she fell for in Sunnydale, turned out to be a vampire! But she learned to accept that, because he was tall, dark, handsome and all-round sexy (yum), and also because he had a soul and wanted to do good and help people (so sweet). Their love was epic and beautiful. Unfortunately, Angel’s soul was not permanently fixed, and it fell off as soon as he got into Buffy’s pants. Angel turned very nasty (although he looked even better with an evil smirk and leather jeans) and Buffy had to kill him. All that put a terrible strain on their relationship, and eventually he left her to star in his own show.
Buffy decided to have a nice and normal boyfriend this time and settled for Riley, super-powered genetically modified ex-military demon hunter from Iowa. Unfortunately, his genetic modifications were crap, so he ended up losing his superpowers, turned clingy, insecure, and started two-timing Buffy by getting suckjobs from vampire whores. Eventually he left her to make a career in demon killing and have a great marriage.
I think there’s a pattern there somewhere…
Last year Buffy had an affair with neutered vampire Spike, and dumped him first, but that didn’t stop him from two-timing her, turning very nasty and, eventually, leaving.
If I were Buffy, I would never ever date again!
If you were to meet Buffy in the pub, you would probably ask her why her wooden dildo is so pointy and isn’t she worried about splinters. And then you’d wake up in a coma.
Buffy is played by Sarah Michelle Gellar
Buffy: We saved the world. I say we party!
Buffy: I can beat up the demons until the cows come home. And then I can beat up the cows.
Angelus: No weapons… No friends… No hope. Take all that away… and what’s left?
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