Tripping the Rift: Ships: Dark Clown Battle Cruiser

The Dark Clown battle cruiser is a formidable enemy. But only if you’re a transport ship with very little in the way of defences or weapons, otherwise this clown ship is an impotent foe. The battle cruisers are captained by the finest officers in the Dark Clown Empire, or the most ridiculous aliens in the galaxy your choice.

If you were to see a Dark Clown Battle Cruiser on the road its be some poorly done ricer. The car would be over the top, way to gaudy, and a major overcompensation on the drives part. All the mods would be done tastelessly and with very little care or skill.

There would be promotional stickers on it, but only until the owner receives the cease and desist order from the company they are illegally “promoting”.The Dark Clown ship is either a sexual joke, portraying a giant cock and ballsac, or a jab at the LEXX of LEXX. Which either way one looks at it, its still the same kind of joke ultimately. The head of the battle cruiser looks like Bobo’s heads, with his hair flared back in the wind. The body of the ship is made up of a long shaft, leading to a bulbous tail end with fins.The battle cruiser is lightly armed compared with Confederation ships, but it’s still enough to destroy most vessels.

It has the standard shields, tractor beam, photon torpedoes and phasors. Additionally it has a modification for a laser saws. These four gigantic saws come out form the lower regions of the ship and begins to tear through he enemy vessel. It only works at close range, but when the ship has it in it’s tractor beam, the offending vessel is as good as destroyed.

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Tripping the Rift reviews are © 2005 Ryan Bechtel.
Not for reproduction without the authors express permission

Tripping the Rift names, characters and everything else associated with the series are the property of CineGroup.

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