Andromeda: Cultures: The Magog

The Magog are simply wonderful! They are one of those races whome you tend to like despite knowing that they are closer to being Devils than anything you’ve ever seen. Historically, the Magog are complete and utter Bastards! But nowadays they seem positively philosophical, even charming. If it wasn’t for their coarse hairy exterior, or their venom injecting teeth or even their razor sharp claws, you might actually invite one to a party. unfortunately It would them probably talk about how it was born and the wild things it’s partents got up to.

Physically, the the Magog are about six feet tall and are/were nasty and aggressive well beyond what you or I would consider socially acceptable. They have immence personal strength and could kick Nietzschean’s ass/arse right out of the ball-park/cricket-ground.

They were named ‘Magog’ by humans because it means ‘spawn of hell’. Their ideal encounter with another culture involves the murder of everyone they came in contact with except for a few choice specimens that would be impregnated with eggs so as to bare their children. Since all Magog are single sex they are not worried about whome they impregnate so gentlemen geezers are just as frightened of these characters as lady geezers.

Rev BemWorse still, upon hatching the babies eat their way out of the host! Ewwwww! and if they can’t find any unfortunate hosts from other races, they impregnate other Magog!!

After a few years of merauding and the resultant war with the Systems Commonwealth the Magog were subdued and forced to negociate for peace. Aggreements were made, territories and boundaries drawn up and since then, the Magog have been relatively peaceful. Indeed one of them, Rev Bem, is now a valuable member of the Andromeda Ascendant crew. The Magog now control large parts of the Andromeda and Milky Way galaxies but are forbidden from activities in the other areas.

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If you were to meet a Magog in a pub he would be elloquently chatting to a few people at the bar who would be too frightened to leave in case it annoyed him/it, they would be shivvering slightly.

The Magog party-piece is an uncanny ability to throw the voice. It makes you wonder what they do for fun! I guess ‘heya sexy, fancy a bonk?’ would not go down too well at parties – the seriousness of their socially unnacceptible herritage and methods of pro-creation tend to make them a little glum – you wouldn’t see a Magog telling a ‘Blonde joke’.

Dylan Hunt was a veteran of the conflict between the Magog and the Systems Commonwealth. He has little tollerance for Magog especially since he has not been around for the three hundred years that there has been peace. But Rev Bem, like many of his compatriots, is a reformed character.

in Rev Bem’s case he feels so guilty for the death and destruction his people have caused that he has a goal to build a hospital to, in some small way, make up for the misery his people have caused.  Aww sweet.

If Rev Bem is anything to go by, the Magog are now fairly shy and philosophical species. He is often heard quoting something profound but rarely cracks a joke (unless you REALLy have to think about it – in which case this SadGeezer would have missed it).

Many cultures, including some humans (Harper for instance) believe that you can still be infected by Magog Spores even when a Magog is dead. This is not true.

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And yet, their physiology can be very efficient. I was reading the excellent andromedatvfans.com and saw a post from one of the writers, Ashley. he reported that the Magog cannot poop!!! Not shit! They have a 100% digestive system.

The Magog are one of the more interesting of the Andromeda races, it will be interesting to see how their history (past and future) unfolds. One thing to consider however is that they are self replicating, genetically engineered, biological weapons. After all, if you want to completely destroy all the sentient life on a planet – send in a plane load of Magog!

Race Rating – Magog
Personality 1 (rancid butter) – 5 (cool dude) 3
Attractiveness 1 (requires paper bag) – 5 (Drop-dead-gorgeous) 1
Humor 1 (stomach-turning) – 5 (sidesplitting) 2
Dress Sense 1 (laughable) – 5 (hip) 2
Aggression 1 (big/little softy) – 5 (hard as nails) 4
Social Standing 1 (scumbag) – 5 (god) 3

Sad Geezer Race Rating   (out of 30)  15          

The “Magog” Culture Review is © 2000 Tony Fawl.
Not for reproduction without the authors express permission

The names, characters and everything else associated with Gene Roddenberry’s Andromeda TV series are the property of the Tribune Entertainment Company. All rights reserved.

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