Production 8
Direction 7
Characterisation 8
Storyline 9
Acting 8
Fun/Sexy/Cool 9

WHOA! – THE ZOCOLO IS DESTROYED, DEAD BODIES ARE STREWN ALL OVER THE PLACE, GARIBALDI IS THE ONLY ONE LEFT STANDING, BLOOD POURING FROM HIS BROW

Summary 8.2 great
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Direction 0
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Fun/Sexy/Cool 0
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Babylon 5: S05E15: Darkness Ascending

WHOA! – THE ZOCOLO IS DESTROYED, DEAD BODIES ARE STREWN ALL OVER THE PLACE, GARIBALDI IS THE ONLY ONE LEFT STANDING, BLOOD POURING FROM HIS BROW. A MESSAGE IN BLOOD LIES NEXT TO A DEAD ZACK, IT READS ‘WHERE WERE YOU!?’…. erm…. hang on a minute, have we missed an episode!!? Naaaa, it’s Baldi having a guilty nightmare. While lying in a drunken stupor, in his quarters he is dreaming of his dead best buddies, and how he has apparently let them down (as you do).

Garibaldi wakes up to find Lyta sat cross-legged on his bed. No, I’m afraid she’s not naked or anything, in fact she doesn’t look sexy at all, wearing a rather boring looking tunic and the WHITEST eyes you have ever seen! The white eyes of Lyta!She tells Garibaldi that she is practising her skills, the ones the Vorlons gave her. In fact, apparently, Garibaldi rudely interrupted her and she promptly tells him that ‘This never happened at all!’

Garibaldi wakes up AGAIN! You notice that he is sweating just a little more. He looks towards the door and in walks a figure (a woman). Baldi points a gun at the figure and says ‘Don’t move!’ We see that it’s his girlfriend Lise Hampson. “Is that anyway to welcome the love of your life Michael?” She says.

Lise is not too impressed with the welcome and surprised that she should have seemed to scare Garibaldi ‘out of a years growth’. They exchange greetings and cuddle a bit then just as things start to get interesting we are taken to Sheridans quarters.

Delenn is there alone. She receives a message from Lennier who tells her that he is getting close to the Alliance attackers. He asks if Sheridan has found out about his mission yet. Delenn replies that it is not yet the right time (Sheridan enters quietly and then hides round a corner to find out what is going on). Delenn leaves at the end of the message transmission and Sheridan is left alone metaphorically scratching his head and looking slightly worried.

The slightly darker eyed Lyta is trying to persuade a businessman that he needs her help and that of the renegade teeps. In return Lyta and the other teeps would require money and a couple of ships so that they could find their own planet. In the end though, he refuses. Lyta is not going to give up. She makes WOT!  No meetings at all!an appointment to see G’Kar.

In the Zocolo, Londo and Vir are discussing Londo’s schedule. Londo is surprised to find that all the other alliance members have cancelled any meetings that they had with him. He wonders why this should be. Nevertheless, he finds himself with a free day.

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Battlestar Galactica: Transcripts: Season 4.01: He That Believeth in Me

After a very intimate cuddle with Garibaldi in the shower (Lise is far too good for him!) Lise finds a half-drunk bottle of bourbon in the cupboard. When she confronts Garibaldi he gestures that his drinking is no problem and that he will not drink while she is on the station. Lise finds Baldi's boozeYeah right!

On White Star 27, Lennier discusses tactics with Captain Montoya. Lennier formulates a plan. But Montoya receives word that White Star is to be returned on the Orders of Sheridan.

On Babylon 5 Sheridan is about to launch into a slanging match with Delenn about Lenniers covert operation when, to his surprise, Delenn agrees with him and explains. This annoys Sheridan even more. Blokes just hate it when women agree with them just as they are all fired up for an argument. Masterfully, Delenn defused the situation and makes Sheridan feel slightly guilty. You can tell they are married can’t you?

Lennier decides to steal a fighter and go after the Centauri raiders alone. He tracks the path of a tachyon signal. Unfortunately the distance from that location to the rendezvous point is further than his supply of oxygen. He decides to meditative to conserve his air supply. He will keep his fighter on autopilot to monitor the situation, and alert him if any ship tries to intercept.

In G’Kar’s quarters Lyta reminds G’Kar of a proposition many years ago to supply the Narns with telepath DNA. This could have been achieved with a ‘mating’ or a supply of genetic material. G’Kar tells Lyta that it was a pity that they didn’t find out what her pleasure threshold was (!??). A slightly embarrassed (yet smiling) Lyta tells G’Kar that she would now like to accept his proposition. G’Kar can’t believe his luck! and asks Lyta, “Which part?” Carefully Lyta states, “the part where I give you access to my genetic material.” A rather disappointed G’Kar simply replies ‘Oh’.

Lyta tells him that the Narns will get as much teep DNA as he needs provided that she can have five deep range star ships and loads o’money! AND that this is kept secret. Lyta leaves suggesting that G’Kar think about the proposition. As she walks through the door she turns and says to G’Kar, “You asked about my pleasure threshold, I recently found out ….. that I don’t have one!” (The…. the…. the…. Hazen Brussey…. erm …. I mean the Brazen Hussy….. Whew!)

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Red Dwarf: S07E02: Stoke me a Clipper

Garibaldi and Lise settle down to a meal in a restaurant but Garibaldi seems irritated and uncomfortable. He makes some excuse to leave the table for a minute and in a quite corner, he takes a swig from a hip flask. Poor Lise, he’s gonna let her down too.

Lennier lies in wait.Meanwhile Sheridan and Delenn wait patiently for news of Lennier, but there is no word. Captain Montoya reports that Lenniers ship would almost be out of oxygen. Sheridan and Delenn are worried by this news. They know, I suppose that Lennier would die trying to complete his mission and it looks like that is precisely what is happening.

On the little Ranger Fighter, sure enough, Lennier is running out of air. But the ships computer reports a Centauri ship following a tachyon beam close by. Lennier just about manages to order the ship to attach itself and replenish the air supply while in ‘stealth mode’. Like all good sentient little ships, it does as it’s told and Lennier, for the moment, is safe. Then, as soon as the fighter has successfully attached itself, the Centauri ship exits hyperspace at a jump point and Lennier sees a huge Centauri secret base.

On Babylon 5 Londo is interrupted from sleep by a message from Centauri Prime. The Minister Cholini, a really slimy geezer, tells Londo that the Alliance are preparing to blame the attacks on Alliance ships on the Centauri. He tells Londo that the Alliance are even fabricating evidence to this effect. He warns a disbelieving Londo that if anyone attacks Centauri ships, they will fight back and that this could be the first step towards war.

Lyta arrives at G’Kar’s quarters. He has asked for a meeting with her. The Narn Government have agreed to her terms with one condition. They want the telepaths to brain scan the other ambassadors from time to time and report what they find. Lyta is amazed by what G’Kar is telling her (so was I!). She declines. There are a lot of things she would do to get a homeworld for the teeps, but this isn’t one of them. She still has some decency left in her and if it means blowing the whole deal, then so be it.

She’s about to leave when G’Kar calls her back. He tells her that there was no such condition. He just wanted to see how far she would go. Apparently, if she had said yes, then the deal would have been off because he could not have trusted her. Lyta is very pleased. (This is a bit strange! Nancy emailed me to say that Lyta was a little harder in these last couple of episodes and sure enough the Garibaldi bedroom scene was pretty nasty. But maybe Lyta was trying to show Garibaldi what a git he was, and that his drinking would ultimately lead to trouble, perhaps even the death of his friends)The Centauri Base..

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LEXX: S03E12: The Beach

Lennier, while still attached to the Centauri Warship, is treated to the summary destruction of a fleet of transport ships whose only crime was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. He instructs his little fighter friend to record all that happens. The transports are all destroyed and there are no survivors. Lenniers ship detaches itself just as the attacking ships enter the hyperspace jumpgate. He then sends out a distress signal.

On Babylon 5, Sheridan and a relieved Delenn learns that Lennier is safe and that he now has proof that the Centauri are behind the attacks. Very pleased that Lennier is safe, she leaves the room smiling and laughing. Londo is walking in the corridor. I think that Delenn feels sorry for what Londo and the Centauri are Would you tell her to go home?!about to go through, she wlaks over to him. Londo greets her and is surprised when she gives him a hug.

Lennier arrives on Babylon 5 to hand the recording over to Sheridan. Garibaldi enters and Sheridan asks him to call Franklin and G’Kar for an urgent meeting.

Later in Garibaldi’s quarters Lisa is told that she must leave Babylon 5 immediately. When she asks why, Garibaldi tells her that they will soon be at war with the Centauri.

And that concluded another smashtastic episode.
I’m glad I’m not a Centauri!

I’d rate this a 37,229 out of 10.  What did you think?

The “Darkness Ascending” episode review is © 1999 – 2001 Tony Fawl
and not for reproduction without the authors express permission

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The BABYLON 5 names, characters and everything else associated with the series are the property of J. Michael Straczynski, TNT and Warner Brothers, a division of Time Warner Entertainment Company. All rights reserved.

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