Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy: Cultures: Magratheans

A world inhabited by humanoids that produce custom built planets to order.

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The only Magrathean seen in the series.

These were created in a time long gone when almost everyone was rich and the hoopiest possession a richer person could own was his/her own planet! Don’t you just hate it when the day is an extra half-hour too long or the see is the wrong shade of pink? Well, with a planet designed to your own specification, you could live out the rest of your days in your own perfectly engineered environment.  

It was quite a simple process really. The great hyperspacial engineering works ‘sucked’ matter through white holes in space and form it into green planets lovingly constructed to meet the exacting standards of their very, very rich clients

He’s a sort of cuddly grandad figure don’t you think?

The Magratheans charged a bloody fortune for this not insubstantial service and eventually became the richest planet in existence. They basically sucked the money from all the rich people in whole star systems and weren’t too good at foreign investment. This resulted in the Great Galactic depression and therefore a lesser and lesser requirement for the range of Magrathean services. The planet and its culture gradually faded into obscurity and eventually, legend.

The Magratheans therefore went into a deep sleep. The reason for this was because they had noticed the Galaxy going into a deep recession and they decided that the only thing to do was sleep through it!   So they programmed all their computers with a link to the stock exchange. As soon as they galaxy came out of recession, the inhabitants would be automatically revived.

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Magrathea is a bad place to party! The cleaning staff all died because of a faulty diode in the life support computer.

Race Rating – Magratheans
Personality 1 (rancid butter) – 5 (cool dude) 3
Attractiveness 1 (requires paper bag) – 5 (Drop-dead-gorgeous) 2
Humour 1 (stomach-turning) – 5 (sidesplitting) 2
Dress Sense 1 (laughable) – 5 (hip) 2
Aggression 1 (big/little softy) – 5 (hard as nails) 4
Social Standing 1 (scumbag) – 5 (god) 4

Sad Geezer Race Rating   (out of 30)  =  17             

The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy reviews are © 1999-2019 Tony Fawl.  Not for reproduction without the authors express permission

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