Jokers: Jokes About Things: “The Things Kids Bring Home” Jokes
The Things Kids Come Out With
WHY DON’T BIG PLANES HAVE LITTLE PLANES?
A mother and her son were flying “Southwest Airlines.”
“Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for awhile, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started to kiss and hug her. I figured sis must be getting sick because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just like the doctor would. Except he’s not as good as the doctor, because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart.
He was getting sick too, because pretty soon, both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been getting cold, because he put it under her skirt. About this time, sis got toward the end of the couch. This was when the fever started. I know it was a fever, because sis told him she was really HOT. Finally, I found out what was making them so sick. . . a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. HONEST! Anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When sis saw it, she got really scared. Her eyes got big and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that.
After a while, they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend sat up and, sure enough, they had killed the eel. I knew it was dead because it just hung there limp and some of its insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired form the battle, but they went on courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. And, by golly, the eel wasn’t dead after all. It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats. . . they have nine lives or something. this time sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it. After about thirty-five minutes of struggle, they finally killed the eel. I know it was dead this time because I saw sis’s boyfriend peel off the skin and flush it down the toilet.”
A little girl and her mother were out and about. The girl, out of the blue, asked her mother, “Mommy, How old are you?”
Submitted by Todd
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