Jokers: Situation Humour: Sex Jokes

What is the square root of 69?
8 something.

What is 96?
69 for dyslexics

Q Why doesn’t Santa Claus have children?
A He o­nly comes o­nce a year, and that’s down a chimney.

Q What are the three words you never want to hear while having sex?
A Honey, I’m home!

Super Heroes Joke

Superman was flying through the air when he saw Superwoman laying naked in
the beach with her legs spread wide open. He said to himself, “I can go down there and fuck her without her even knowing what happened.

He flew down and did her. Superwoman said, “What was that!” And the Invisible Man said,”I don’t know, but my bum hurts.”

Definition of a virgin lake:
A lake where a woman has yet to swim and the fish still taste like chicken.

Q What’s 69 + 69 ?
A A feast for four.

Q What does a guy do with 365 used condoms?
A He makes a tire out of them and calls it a Goodyear!

Q What is the difference between a peeping tom and a robber?
A A robber snatches watches.

Q Why do women fake orgasms?
A Because they think men care.

The girl takes off the guys shirt and sees a Nike tatoo o­n his shoulder. Thinking nothing of it she begins to take off his pants. o­n his ankle he has a Reebok tatoo. The girl thinks to herself, “What a sneaker fanatic”, and continues to take off his underwear. When she gets his underwear off, she sees that he has “AIDS” tatooed o­n his dick.

She freaks out and says” Get the hell away from me, I’m not sleeping with a guy that has “AIDS” tatooed o­n his dick!!!”

He says, “Relax. In a minute it’ll say “ADIDAS”.

This Guy who owns a porno shop and has his friend watch the store while he runs some errands. While the owner is away in walks this lady. She walks up to the counter and asks “How much for that pink dildo up o­n the shelf” The guy replies $25. She said “I’ll take it” A few minutes later in walks this brunette. She walks up to the counter and says “How much for that purple dildo up o­n the shelf. The guy replies $50. She said “I’ll take it”. A while later in walks this blonde. Her eyes got as big as saucers. She walked up to the counter and asked “How much for that big silver dildo o­n the shelf” The guy replies $100. She pays him and leaves. In walks the owner and asks how was business, and his friend replies “I sold the pink dildo for $25, I sold the purple dildo for $50, Then I sold your THERMOS for a $100”.

Three women are sitting at a bar, and the first o­ne says “I’m so loose my husband can stick his hand up me” The second o­ne says “Thats nothing, I’m so loose my husband can stick his head up me.” And the third o­ne laughed so hard she slipped down the stool.