Jokers: Situation Humour: Toilet Humour

Toilet Humour

Living in Preston

Q.  What have working in Preston (a town in England) and a pubic hair o­n a toilet seat got in common?
A.  Your okay for a while but then you get pissed off.

Submitted by Susan Hargreaves

29 Types Of People In The Men’s Room

EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole rips shorts.
SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.
NOSEY: Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.
TIMID: Can’t if someone is watching, flushes urinal as if he had already, comes back later.
INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in the sink.
CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses o­n the floor.
WORRIED: Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection.
FRIVILOUS: Plays stream up, down and accross urinals, tries to hit fly or bug.
ABSENT-MINDED: Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.
CHILDISH: Pisses directly into bottom of urinal, likes to see the bubbles.
SNEAKY: Farts silently, acts very innocent, knows man in next stall will get blamed.
PATIENT: Stands very close for a long time, reads newspaper with freehand.
DESPERATE: Waits in long line, teeth floating, pisses o­n pants.
TOUGH: Bangs dick o­n side of urinal to dry it.
FAT: Backs up and takes blind shot at urinal, pisses in shoes.
EFFICIENT: Waits until he has to crap, then does both.
LITTLE: Stands o­n box, falls in, drowns.
DRUNK: Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants.
DISGRUNTLED: Stands for a while, gives up, walks away.
CONCEITED: Holds two-inch dick like a baseball bat.
IMPATIENT: Always in a hurry, pisses down back of guy in front of him.
HUNTER: Gets out of camper, unzips fly, steps off cliff.
WITHDRAWN: Places feet in urinal, pisses down leg, thus eliminates noise.
CROSS-EYED: Looks into urinal o­n left, pisses into the middle o­ne, flushes o­ne o­n right.
CURIOUS: Looks over at neighbor, pisses in neighbor’s pocket.
COMPETITIVE: Stands back, challenges others to distance contest.
SHOW OFF: Stands with back to urinal, slings tool over shoulder.
CONFUSED: Woman in wrong room wondering what’s with the funnysinks.
SMOKER: Smokes with free hand, chronically burning dick, forfeits sex with his hot nympho wife for a month,  and ends up getting a divorce.


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