Jokers: Situation Jokes: “Doctor’s Visit” Jokes

A young woman goes to the doctor for a physical. When the doctor tells her to remove her blouse, he notices the imprint of an “H” o­n her chest. He asks, “What is this?” She replies: “My boyfriend goes to Harvard and every time we have sex he insists o­n wearing his Harvard letter shirt.”

Later another young woman comes in for a physical. When the doctor tells her to
remove her blouse, he notices the imprint of a “Y” o­n her chest. He asks, “What is
this?” She replies: “My boyfriend goes to Yale and every time we have sex he insists o­n wearing his Yale letter shirt.”

Toward the end of the day a young woman comes in for a physical. When the doctor tells her to remove her blouse, he notices the imprint of a “W” o­n her chest. “Let me guess,” he says, “Your boyfriend goes to school at Wisconsin.” To this the young woman replies, “No, but my girlfriend goes to Michigan.”

A man went to a doctor to have his penis enlarged. Well, this particular procedure involved splicing a baby elephant’s trunk o­nto the man’s penis.

Overjoyed, the man went out with his best girl to a very fancy restaurant. After cocktails, the man’s penis crept out of his pants, felt around the table, grabbed a hard roll and quickly disappeared under the tablecloth. The girl was startled and exclaimed, “What was that?”.

Suddenly the penis came back, took another hard roll and just as quickly disappeared. The girl was silent for a moment, then finally said, “I don’t believe I saw what I think I just saw… can you do that again?”

With a bit of an uncomfortable smile the man replied, “Honey, I’d like to, but I don’t think my ass can take another hard roll!”

Bloke goes to the doctors, doctor tells him, “I’ve got some good news and
some bad news I’m afraid”

Bloke says, “Oh,……….give me the bad news first Doctor”,

“Ok, ……”, says the Doctor, “……the bad news is you’ve got AIDs and you’ll be dead by the end of the week,……………but the good news
is,…………….you’ve also got Alzheimers, so by the time you get home you’ll have forgotten all about it”.

Submitted by Mark Allison

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes o­ne look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh.

As he does this he says to the woman, “Do you know what I’m doing?”
“Yes,” she says, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.”
“That is correct,” says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts.
“Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asks.
“Yes,” says the woman, “you’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer.”
“That’s right,” replies the doctor. He then begins to have sexual intercourse with the woman. He says to her, “Do you know what I’m doing now?”
“Yes,” she says. “You’re getting herpes.”

A man walks into a Doctors. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. “Whats the matter with me?” he asked. “You’re not eating properly.” replied the Doctor.