LEXX: S03E04: Boomtown

BoomtownWhoa!! Another cracking episode! It didn’t frighten us too much this time, we continued the exploration of the weird and wacky worlds of Fire and Water. It seems every episode has some sort of twist or turn – or SHOCK! And this episode was no exception.

The show opened with Kai watching helplessly as the dizzy but very fit young people of Gametown play that strange basketbally game –They play an exhilarating ball game the same way we would have a nice relaxing cup of tea! Every time LEXX comes on the TV I feel fat and old and it ALMOST puts me off my beer. – These people have got to go!

But no sooner had I gulped another mouthful of sour beer, Fifi and the Duke descend from the skies in their Flying Moths of doom to destroy the young, well-washed ballplayers.

Flaming arrows and bombs wreak havoc on Gametown and the whole city is soon in flames. Despite a valiant effort from the ballplayers, most of the beautiful people are shot or blown up. Kai looks on helplessly – the Moths keep out of range of his handy wrist gadget.

The graphics in this scene were great and so was the dialogue between the cool Duke (of Duketown) the ex-Gametown loser, Fifi. As the Moths descend for one last attack on the flaming city, Duke turns to evil Fifi and says, “Fifi, you are a small-minded, self-centred, vindictive, perfectly evil human being.

Wow, that’s harsh,” responds the slightly piqued Fifi.
But also true,” continues Duke. “Which is why I like you.”
Fifi looks at him thoughtfully and the chuckles to himself.

Gametown is almost completely destroyed, the captain, Brock, is shot and with his last breath he asks Kai to look after the lovely but dizzy Bunny who, he explains, has fallen for the dead dude. Kai looks at him with anOh no, not again’ expression but agrees, “I will try“.

Bunny tells Kai that the only way they can escape is if they swim for it. Kai apparently cannot swim. He tells her that he can only sink. But just as things are looking very black for the two lovebirds, a Moth descends within firing range of Kai’s handy wrist gadget and he manages to capture the flying little bug and take bunny, up to the LEXX. The rest of the Moths, their work now complete, return to Fire.

Xev and Stanley are on the LEXX and feeling pretty hungry. Bunny introduces herself sweetly, “Hi, I’m bunny.”

The hateful and jealous, gay robot head, 790 verbally pounces on the girl mimicking her accent and punctuating it with “SLUT!” Bunny looks around surprised at it’s rudeness.

Kai decides to get the rest of the Moth Breeders to build more Moths and suggests that his companions return to the Water planet to feed. Before they go, Stanley discusses the planet’s cities with Bunny. He tries to explain his preferences in terms of places to visit but Xev, listening in the background, is more specific, “He wants to get girls in bed. But since most girls, even those with highly accelerated libido’s, do not want to go to bed with him, Stanley Tweedle is constantly looking for planets where the girls don’t care who he is.

Stanley objects to the directness of Xev’s comment. He tries to explain to Bunny using words which are more erm… cuddly, but the impatient Xev adds, “All he wants is sex, with anyone, anywhere, anytime. He’s desperate.”

(I guess you have noticed that Xev is a lot less fluffy in this series. She exhibits a certain cynicism in her attitude and is possibly still suffering after her recent relationship with Prince.)

Bunny suggests that they go to Boomtown, where there is lots to eat, (including fresh girls and boys). Stanley is pleased to learn that this town seems very relaxed in it’s attitude to love, sex and relationships and that …. well he basically gets the impression that if he’s going to get laid, Boomtown is the place it’s going to happen. Stanley is understandably excited by this.

As if to drive the point home, Bunny adds, “It’s a non-stop sex city, that’s what they do there.” (Stan takes deep breaths), “Are you ok Stanley?

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Oh, yeah, …. Yeah. I’m just a little hungry.” Replies Stan (in an understatement of Biblical proportions). Xev looks on and says quietly, and a little sadly, “Yeah, me too. Very hungry.

When they arrive at Boomtown, they see that it’s pretty much like Gametown. The same sort of beautiful young people are there and they seem friendly and welcoming (and a bit dim too).

A little later the LEXX crew are treated to a banquet. The hosts are charming and provide polite conversation usually centred on sexual innuendo (the best kind!). The subject of the conversation is ‘hunger’. The words are about food but the intimation is most definitely sex. Xev becomes very interested in some young blonde geezer who seems to know all the right things to say. Stanley too meets a very friendly dinner companion. The only two odd ones out are Kai and Bunny….. Kai tells her that the dead have no hunger – he doesn’t have a stomach. The lovely Gametown girl looks slightly dejected.

This was a well-crafted scene and the dialogue was wonderful. SadGeezers all over the world delighted in the wonderful usage of fruit in describing (however subtly) the hunger for sex. Kai’s comment was particularly interesting. My partner NewKate was convinced that Kai’s stomach comment, meant that he had no inclination to become embroiled in conversations of double meanings and flirtatious innuendo. Personally I think he was trying to tell Bunny that he had no willy.

Stanley and the young lady retire for some more detailed discussion in a private room. The blonde dude and Xev are also becoming entangled.

Stanley follows the young lady into a fantastic room! This is the sort of bedroom that us SadGeezers fantasise about but never get all the detail together in the same dream. For instance, the walls are covered with Breast Wallpaper. I don’t mean pictures of breasts, but actual life size soft, pink, warm, firm (although I’m sure I noticed a couple of droopy ones there too) imitations. This is the sort of room that you wouldn’t mind exploring with the lights off.

To Stanley’s delight, the large comfy looking bed is occupied by the lovely lady he was chatting to earlier. In a very enticing voice, she says, “Remember me? I’m Peach.

Stan looks at her longingly and replies, “Remember me? I’m Stanley H. Tweedle.Wadda ladykiller! But the Peach lady just leans back and encourages him to get on the bed with her.

Bunny meanwhile is getting excited all on her own. She tries to get Kai to give her some sort of indication that he is interested in her, but eventually Kai asks, “Are you trying to seduce me?” Bunny immediately replies with a smile, “Yes.”
The dead cannot be seduced.” He says clearly.
Bunny looks puzzled, “I don’t understand.” She says.
Bunny, I am dead.” Kai says firmly.
But Bunny refuses to accept this and with a smile says, “No your not.” {137kb WAV File}

WOW! I tell you, when I finally get round to doing a Bunny Biography page, there will be a whole section on ‘Bunny Putdowns’. The poor sweet gameplayer cannot understand why, if he is dead, he should still look normal i.e. Not have bits of him dropping off or be very very very smelly. Kai understands this reaction and in an attempt to drive the point home once and for all, he chops off his arm at the wrist and presents it to the shocked Bunny.

Bunny watches the hand as the fingers wiggle at her. “Yes I am” says Kai in his usual ‘final’ tone of voice.

That’s a neat trick,” says Bunny. Too bloody right it is! If some geezer did that to me, I’d have fainted! Or at the very least the dude would be wearing half my lunch. And guess what Bunny said next? I bet you can’t… Not in your wildest horrific dreams of death and perverted debauchery!

And do other parts of you perform that well?” She says sweetly. {127Kb WAV file} Xev interrupts and explains to Bunny that Kai’s other parts “do not perform at all” and that she will have to find satisfaction elsewhere.

Likewise Xev.” Is Kai’s uncharacteristically snappy reply to Xev’s slightly bitter comment. Could it be that there is a little bit of an atmosphere developing between these two?

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Fifi and the Duke are headed back to Duketown with the rest of the Moths. Duke has decided that he will attack Prince’s home city. Apparently Duke is the Second most powerful geezer on the Fire planet after the dark sniffing dude. He attacks with the Moths by weakening the structure out of reach of the arrows of Prince’s army. Prince looks on helplessly, impotently – but very annoyed indeed.

Back in the Bedroom, Stanley continues his discussion with the lovely Peach. But I guess she’s less interested in the theory and wants some practical. She disrobes and pinches her nipples erotically. Stanley is left in no doubt whatsoever that Peach wants him to make a meal of her. Stanley tucks in.

Xev is also in the bedroom with the blonde geezer she was chatting to earlier. This bloke is not impatient at all. He asks her to take a long journey to a special place within themselves. But Xev just wants to bonk.

Kai is sitting alone in a room with Bunny. He asks a very important question…. Why are there no children? “What are children?” asks Bunny. Kai tries to explain that children result from sex. But Bunny, ever hopeful, mentions that ‘fun’ results from sex – but NOT children. Then she attempts to encourage Kai to play with her in a game of groinal foot massage, but Kai remarks. “I have not been aroused for six thousand years.” He says as he crosses his legs.

Boy you must be really frustrated.” She says helplessly.
No, I am not frustrated.
Bunny’s single-minded determination to get into Kai’s rags is most admirable, but her dialogue is as bad as mine. “You really want me don’t you?” She smiles.
The dead do not get frustrated. The dead do not have wants. The dead are simply…… dead!

You’re so weird!” concludes Bunny.

On the planet Fire, Duke’s men continue their attack on the structure of the city. It seems that there is little Prince can do defensively and even his subordinates are worried. Despite Prince’s filibuster, they expect him to leave in the one remaining Moth.

Fifi and the Duke discuss Prince’s dilemma. Duke is convinced that he will soon be victorious. He tells Fifi that they should return to Duketown ready to receive the Prince. Since the Prince knows he has lost, he will come to Duketown so that Duke can kill him. WHAT! Did we miss something there? Why would the Dark Prince want to go and let the Duke kill him?

The point is not lost on Fifi, “Why would Prince want you to kill him?”
“You have much to learn my friend, much to learn.” Is the unhelpful reply.

Back in Silicon Heaven, (….… aww, I just can’t bring myself to type cheap comments about ‘Peaches and cream’… but you can guess…) healthy amounts of grunting and groaning noises culminate with the usual sighs, wetness and pillow talk. Stanley confirms that the lovely lady’s lovemaking ability is perfection. Then, suddenly she leaves and two other ladies called Pear and Plum join the tired but satisfied Captain. Stanley demonstrates little concern for indigestion.

In Duke’s home town, Fifi is made ‘Number Two’. He does this by burning the old one! Wadda contrast to Boomtown! I know which side I’m on!

As the Duke expected, Prince arrives in Duketown with May. He tells the Duke that they should be fighting the people of the Water planet not each other. He goes on to point out that the Fire planet is his, Prince is it’s erm… Prince but Duke provides a practical demonstration of why this will not continue. He opens the window and encourages Prince to look at his tall city in the distance. He watches the top of his city crumble and fall to the ground hundreds of feet below.

Prince looks only mildly upset. “A king without a crown…. A Prince without a Town.” Says the Duke calmly. He then feeds something to May with a pair of tweezers. I have absolutely no idea what it was, but it seems to indicate that she is in the employ of the Duke and that she has, or is about to, betray Prince. This story is getting more and more complicated.

Prince is not surprised by this and seemingly resigns himself to defeat. He kneels before the Duke and tells him, “I am ready to die.” Fifi volunteers to kill Prince, but the Duke says “No.” and adds, “But you will suffer.

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At this point May takes hold of a crossbow and shoots it at the Prince. He crumples to the ground and with his dying breath he thanks May (????!!!!).

Duke is very upset, they look at Prince as he seems to disintegrate and disappear. Fifi is a little confused. “Alive he is no threat, but dead he will come back to haunt us.” Explains the Duke. Fifi looks at the head dude with a ‘That’s as clear as mud’ expression.

May is the next person to get the burned alive treatment. She double-crossed the Duke by killing Prince prematurely and now pays the price.

Fifi asks the Duke what it is that he is missing. The Duke explains that he is re-incarnated. Fifi was not born, he simply woke up one day. The Duke explains that before he woke up, he ‘was’. It seems that Fifi was not born, but he existed. I’m not sure if he is supposed to have existed as the same person with a different memory, or a different person. But whatever this is, it probably explains why there are no children.

Duke then leaves to continue his campaign of destruction on the Planet Water and Boomtown.

Xev is getting sick of the blonde dudes relaxed attitude. This guy is all mouth and no action it seems.

But Stanley is having a wonderful time. He is cavorting with the lovely Pear and the equally lovely Plum. He requests a short rest to recover but is immediately joined by Peach. The guy is almost completely shagged out and asks rather limply, “Does the concept of too much of a good thing mean anything to you?” He goes on to tell the girls that he must stop for a while.

The fruity ladies look confused, “Stop? I don’t understand.” They say together and just as Stanley is about to explain further, two more girls (Cherry and Olive) enter the room and undress. Stanley looks up exhausted and tells them, “Ohhh, I think I’m getting a headache!

But the girls have no concept of the word ‘headache’ (Yep!! Stanley has died and gone to heaven) and Stanley groans before he being engulfed in Fruit Salad.

On the Balcony, Bunny and Kai watch the approaching Moths as they come to destroy Boomtown. In Xev’s bedroom the blonde dude, still hasn’t managed to get past stage one with her yet, when She sees Kai peeking in through the window. He calls her name and she notices that he is half-naked (!?). She notices that his skin is warm. She asks him what has happened. “I only know that I am here and that I had to come to you.” He explains.

The limp blonde dude leaves and kisses Xev and Kai (?!) goodbye.

An alarm goes off to indicate that the city is under attack from Duke’s forces. Stanley is ‘saved by the bell’ and his fruity Boomtown bedroom buddies rush off.

Kai leaves with Xev and runs into Kai. Yes Kai! THERE ARE TWO KAI’s!! A live one and a dead one. The Live Kai is almost an exact duplicate of the Dead Kai (he even has the same scar on his cheek), the only difference is the clothing.

Stanley joins them, notices the two Kai’s and jumps back in shock. He leans towards Xev and asks, “Am I dreaming this or is this for real?

It’s real Stan.” Replies Xev.
Then can you please explain it to me?
But Xev doesn’t understand either.

The two Kai’s, Xev, Stanley and Bunny all leave and the show ends with the Moths operated by Duke’s men chasing our hero’s.

WOW! Wadda show! I didn’t know if I was coming or going! And what about the two Kai’s!

I’d have to rate this episode a fruity 41,771 out of 10

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This episode review is © 1999-2019 Tony Fawl.
Not for reproduction without the authors express permission

The LEXX names, characters, pictures and everything else associated with the series are the property of SALTER ST FILMS & TiMe Film-und TV-Produktions GmbH in association with Screen Partners. All rights reserved.

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