LEXX: Cultures: Cluster Lizards

Cluster Lizards are man-eaters, with ferocious appetites and big teeth and a ravenous hunger (sounds like my girlfriend without the big teeth). They are the natives of the Cluster and are kept by His Divine Shadow and used to eat his unwanted guests. They are approximately ten feet tall from tip to tip and have a wonderful way of curling themselves up into a circle so that they can roll around from place to place. When challenged (or just for the hell of it) they can emit a blood curdling high-pitched scream.

For their size, they can move very quickly and eat people literally in one gulp. The eating part (you can’t really call it a head) opens up to look like four petals with serrated edges. In this way it is able to gather the flesh of its victims and swallow whole.

We saw them wreak havoc at Thodin’s trial when they were let loose on a large group of goody-goody school children and their doting parents. We were not fortunate enough to see the full carnage, but we were able to witness a few people being caught by their ankles ready to be devoured.

For some VERY strange reason, lady LEXXians around the world think that the baby Cluster Lizard is ‘cute’. I guess I should refrain from breast feeding humour, but… it just bugs me ok! I mean, what chance do us poor SadGeezers have if the object of yer desires fancies a vicious man-eating baby lizard!?

The Cluster Lizards introduced welcome scenes of distasteful entertainment into the show and, I for one, would support the idea that a Cluster Lizard or two could liven up any party (except my own that is).