LEXX: Cultures: The Planet Klaagya

The planet Klaagia is in the Dark Zone. After a number of wars between warring factions it became a forgotten planet. It is particularly difficult to find on star charts because the surrounding planets were blown up in the war and a thick belt of asteroids hid it. Nevertheless, people have landed there in the past – and it has cost them dear!

Left we can see Zev and Stan o n the Klaagian surface. There is rubbish as far as the eye can see.

Social Tip: If you invite a Klaagian to a party, make sure it is not your own. Don’t give the Klaagian access to sharp implements.

Zev is desperately trying to get untied, and thinks that she can play to Bogs charm (wot charm!).

In the good old days, Klaagya was used as a planet for dumping waste. It was well suited to this, since there was little organic life on the planet. Small outposts were built to organise the dumping of waste.

I’m not quite sure if the predator arrived on Klaagya or evolved, but what I am sure of is that it’s a real nasty piece of work. This ‘life form’ controls it’s victims by infecting them with a satellite worm. This worm is then able to control the victims nervous system and parts of the brain.

Klaagian humour: Q: Why should Klaagians not be given coffee breaks?
A:
It takes too long to retrain them.

When our heroes visited the planet, All human inhabitants had been infected by the predator. It should be noted that there were no female Klaagians seen. That is, of course, except for Wist. Wist is the leader of the Klaagians in that she is the host for the the predator known as the ‘queen’. It seems that all other females have been killed off.

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The fact is, that Klaagya is rapidly running short of human material for feeding the queen. Human flesh is prepared for consumption by being turned into Pattern, a light green fluid. The process is controlled by the self proclaimed King Bog. A comically nasty person who performs a ceremony rather like a Game Show in readying the victims for the Pattern making process.

She took a big bite into the LEXX which purposely drove itself into an asteroid to get rid of her.

The LEXX visited Klaagya (in Episode Three Eating Pattern) because the planet surface contained much organic material, probably decomposing rubbish, and it landed to feed. It was destroyed by the LEXX when Wist ‘bit’ into it trying to escape the planets surface.

Race Rating – Klaagians
Personality 1 (rancid butter) – 5 (cool dude) 3
Attractiveness 1 (requires paper bag) – 5 (Drop-dead-gorgeous) 1
Humour 1 (stomach-turning) – 5 (sidesplitting) 4
Dress Sense 1 (laughable) – 5 (hip) 3
Aggression 1 (big/little softy) – 5 (hard as nails) 2
1 (scumbag) – 5 (god) 1

Sad Geezer Race Rating (out of 30) = 14          

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This review is © 1999-2019 Tony Fawl.
Not for reproduction without the authors express permission

The LEXX names, characters, pictures and everything else associated with the series are the property of SALTER ST FILMS & TiMe Film-und TV-Produktions GmbH in association with Screen Partners. All rights reserved.

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