LEXX: S03E02: May

Fire and WaterThis show was as gripping as the last. There were twists at almost every turn and the acting and direction were wonderful.

The show opened with a beautiful blonde woman standing on a balcony.  She was on the planet Water and there was smoke all around.  She looked up and saw Kai falling to the surface at a helluva rate.  He landed with a thud near her balcony.

On the planet Fire, Stanley is saved from the guillotine in the nick of time by the two orange hoopy supervisors.

Kai gathers himself together after his hard landing.  Actually hard isn’t the word for it!  A free-falling person reaches a speed of around 120 miles per hour and someone as lumpy as the dead dude would have hit the ground with such a thud it would have been like a small meteorite! But the cool dead bloke only needs to crick his neck and straighten himself out a little and he is again, the cool dead dude we all know and love. 

He walks over to the room near the lovely blonde and notices that it is full of dead people.  At first I thought their deaths were caused from blast damage (Kai’s impact with the planet and it’s affect on the surrounding area would have been truly violent) but these dead peeps had arrows and stuff protruding from their tummies.  Kai looks on dispassionately.  He walks over to where the blonde is standing.  She is playing a small flute. (as you do!)

As he approaches, Kai tells the blonde that she plays beautifully (which she is).  She is startled but still manages to remain calm.  “Music dulls the pain,” she says.  She goes on to tell Kai that it has been a “bad day.  Such understatement makes you realise that the poor woman is in shock.

She tells him that she is called May and Kai informs her that he is the last of the Brunnen G.  May learns that Kai came from the LEXX and that he jumped down to find Xev – he called her a beautiful love slave – was he being descriptive, or expressing an emotion?

On the planet Fire, Stanley is brought before the Prince and Xev.  They are pleased to see each other, but Stanley is not happy at all to see the dark Prince.  Prince tries to hide the truth by telling Xev that Stanley had undergone a test (though what he is testing is unclear, maybe he was testing how far his head would roll).

Back on Water we see Kai EXAMINING May! He not only examined her, he had a good grope too (good for you mate!).  My beautiful partner watched as Kai delicately pulled off May’s shoulder strap. She uttered words of one syllable beginning with ‘F’.  I was stunned!  NewKate was mortified… was this Kai getting horney?  It certainly looked erotic, but in all honesty he was probably simply examining her shoulder wound. “Look, shouted the panting woman next to me, “he’s practically fondling her breast!….. Traitor!”

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On Fire, Prince is calmly trying to explain to a disgruntled Stanley how the test showed that Stan had great courage.  Xev is convinced that Stanley is over-reacting. Prince explains how the Water planet is at war with Fire and this is a justification for the other people manning the bellows.  Xev adds that those poor souls are ‘the enemy’.  Prince asks Stanley for help in destroying the Water planet.  Stanley is not interested.

Kai suddenly notices that the attackers from the Water planet are close by in a balloon-powered gondola.  He asks that they assist him in looking for Xev and Stanley. He is close enough to use his handy wrist gadget to get aboard, but as you might imagine, the attackers don’t want to help him.  Kai decides to take the gondola anyway and throws the hapless murdering marauders over the side. Kai picks up the lovely May using his handy wrist gadget (you know, the same one that he uses to chop off people’s heads) and they fly off together to the Fire planet in search of Xev and Stanley.

Prince continues his attempt to persuade Stanley, but “If you help me I will be eternally grateful.” Is all he can bargain with.  I guess that Prince does not yet know what motivates Stan.

As Kai and May near the Fire Planet (and the city where Prince is located),  May notices Prince and fires an arrow using a crossbow lying beside her.  The arrow hits Prince in the chest and he falls.  Stanley looks up and notices that Kai is also on the gondola.  Meanwhile Prince is dying, Xev is crying by his side, she has fallen in love with the dark dude and she promises to try and help the Fire planet after he is gone.

A couple of guards enter and Stanley and Xev look very guilty indeed.  Just as Stanley is about to be captured, Kai comes to their rescue and Stanley, Xev, May and Kai fly off in the Gondola back to the Water planet.

The Fire and Water planets can be traversed by a thin but sufficiently large column of atmosphere formed by gravity between the two planets.  The gondola heads for this column and as it does so, the LEXX appears drifting in orbit.  Kai fires his handy gadget at the LEXX and the gondola is pulled on-board.

On the LEXX 790, and Xev are sat together.  Xev notices the robot head behaving very strangely. “790?” she questions.  “Be gone foul thing.” It replies {18K wav file}.

Why are you acting this way?” She asks.  Kai stands before them and 790 gazes at him, “You are soooo beautiful.  Let me swallow your manhood….I want to roll in your hey.  I want to bounce on your bun.” {82K wav file}

As we all roll about laughing, Xev looks at a rather embarrassed Kai with shock and disbelief (I’m with you luv!).  Kai immediately tries to explain that after 790 was reassembled, he was the first thing that the robot head saw. “You were the first and only you dead gorgeous drop of man” adds 790. {43k wav file} (He also mentions that Xev is ‘slut germs!’) Wadda twist!

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May, Stanley and Xev then argue about the feasibility of using the LEXX to destroy the Fire planet.  Xev is clearly in love with the dark Prince and Stanley and May basically hate his guts!  Kai does not understand why Stanley should want to blow up the planet and the tin-plated gay necrophilliac robot head, simply wants to bonk Kai’s brains out.

Back on the Fire Planet, We see a sort of ceremony with the dead Prince descending into a fiery well. Suddenly the dead dude’s eye’s open and he magically comes back to life.  I couldn’t help raising an eyebrow at this point.  It seemed a little implausible – killing off a main character and bringing him back to life doesn’t add much to the storyline except to break it up.  But I’ve had such thoughts about LEXX before and learned to reserve judgement.

Back on the LEXX, May, Xev and Stanley continue to argue about the destruction of the Fire planet.  Stanley learns that the LEXX can still fire its weapons, but since it doesn’t have the strength to move out of orbit, it is not able to aim at anything.  Stanley is therefore unsure what to do, until that is, he notices that May is in great pain.

Just before they all arrive in the cryo-chamber, we notice a black cloaked figure (dressed exactly the same way as Prince) kick over the cryo-sleep computer console.

When Stanley and the others arrive Xev points out that the console has been destroyed and concentrates on trying to get the protein rejuvenation unit to function and mend May.

Kai leaves to attend to the moths.  All the LEXX moths had died and disintegrated long ago but the LEXX has a number of special Moth Breeders, little humanoid dudes were adapted on the Cluster with the specific purpose of growing and attending to Moths.  Kai revives two of them and instructs them to breed two new moths with options for more later.  He intends to use the young bugs to bring food to the LEXX.

Back in the cryo-chamber room, the crewmembers realise that the little protein unit hasn’t worked for a few thousand years and it breaks up.  Kai returns and attempts to fix it with 790’s help, but to no avail. May’s condition deteriorates and the infection in her shoulder rapidly begins to take control.

Stanley is frantic as May gradually slips away. Xev tells Stanley that she thinks May deserves to die. This infuriates Stanley and the two argue violently.

To make things worse, the protein regeneration unit still refuses to function even after being rebuilt. After an argument with 790 where Stanley accused the robot head of procrastination, May dies.

Xev feels Stanley’s  loss and apologises (she’s sooooo sweet).  The rest of them leave Stan to his grief.  Stanley became quite close to May in the short time that he knew her and he stands by her dead body.  After a while, amnd in a sort of dream state he seems to hear May’s voice.  She tells him, “I would have liked you Stanley, I would have…”  Then suddenly he sees Prince – yes Prince!!  The Dark chief dude of the Fire planet has come back and as he leans over the dead body of May and asks Stanley, “Do you want her to be alive …. And yours?

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Stanley, clearly in shock, takes his time to answer, but he definitely wants May to be alive (and his).  Prince tries to make a deal, he will give Stanley the lovely blonde provided he instructs the LEXX to destroy the Water planet.   Stanley considers this but declines, “I can’t destroy an entire planet and everybody on it for just one person!

That was a good decision Stanley.”  Says the Prince unexpectedly.

Does this mean May will live now?”  Asks Stan.

“No, no.  This means May will stay as she is.  She will remain dead.” Say’s the Prince in his customary quiet but menacing voice {77K wav file}.

Stanley instinctively turns to look at May and while he does so, Prince makes his escape.  Stanley notices that the dark dude has gone and tries desperately to get him to change his mind.  After all, he saw Prince die, there is surely a way that he can bring May back to life.  Stanley shouts after the Prince, “Prince… I agree, I’ll use the LEXX to blow up Water if May can live….Prince….” {90 wav file}   But the mysterious geezer has gone.

And then, to everyone’s surprise, May seems to wake and she calls Stanley’s name.  She holds out her arms and the two embrace.  However, Stanley can’t help wondering if the deal with Prince is now on.  May kisses Stanley tenderly and the concern melts away from Stanley’s face. And there the show ends.

WOW! Another cracker!  Prince is the LAST geezer Stanley would want to make a deal with, and wadda deal!  Bring his new girlfriend back to life in return for blowing up her planet and murdering everyone on it!  I guess you know and I know that there is no way Stanley would actually see it through, but what the hell is he going do now!?  He can hardly turn around to Prince and say, ‘sorry dude, I was only joking.’

Welp, another HUGE episode rates a cool 39,210 out of 10 in my book! Wadda YOU think?

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This episode review is © 1999-2019 Tony Fawl.
Not for reproduction without the authors express permission

The LEXX names, characters, pictures and everything else associated with the series are the property of SALTER ST FILMS & TiMe Film-und TV-Produktions GmbH in association with Screen Partners. All rights reserved.

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