Red Dwarf: Characters: Cat

Cat is played miraculously by Danny John-Jules.

Cat is the coolest guy of the series; his devotion to all things shallow makes him eminently watchable and, like all the characters in Red Dwarf, never takes himself seriously. This is good because, as we found out in the episode ‘Waiting for God’, Cat’s mother and father were cripples and mentally challenged! They were left behind when the Cat race went to discover the promised land.

If you were to meet Cat in a pub, he would be very irritated indeed! Desperately trying to introduce himself to some of the more attractive ladies,  he’d be chatted up time and time again by any gay bloke in the immediate vicinity impressed by cat’s dress sense.

Cat enthralled us in the very first episode with his blatant self-promotion and his first lines are still a classic, “How am I looking? I’m looking nice. Hey I’m looking better than nice, I’m looking dangerous!….. Even my shadow looks nice.”

His classy threads make us literally wince with their audacity and always border on the very edges of good taste. Outrageous suites, sequins, silver buckles, we’ve seen them all.   Cat even admits that he has silver studs on some of his underwear!   And yet…. Cat does his laundry with…. HIS TONGUE. His threads may look pretty cool, but they must smell awful!

Cat was discovered living a fairly solitary existence on Red Dwarf by his God, Lister. {The story of how Lister is Cat’s God can be found in the Cat Culture section of this guide}. And yet despite three million years of evolution, the Cat race never managed to get rid of that selfish streak.  Lister once asked him if he ever cared about anyone but himself. “Hell no,” Cat replied, “I don’t even care about you.”

I have never seen Cat drunk!  He can apparently consume huge amounts of alcohol but always seems bright and cheery in the morning. Having said that he is often seen drinking milk!

In the episode Camille in season 4 cat has the opportunity of seeing an image of his desire, the most attractive person he could ever hope to meet. He visits a GELF’ and is surprised to learn that the image of his ideal partner is non other than himself! Later, when asked to describe the manifestation of his desire, he was heard to say, “…… gorgeous chunk of loveliness….. Oh what a body….. My legs are still shaking….. Someone give me a Brandy!”

In the episode called the Inquisitor, Cat was asked to justify his existence in order to stay alive. He was quick to his defence, “I have given pleasure to the world because I have such a beautiful ass!” The inquisitor thought that a pretty shallow argument, but Cat had a customary snappy answer, “Some might say I’m a pretty shallow guy. But I’m a shallow guy with a great ass!”

Unfortunately, Cat was introduced to his alter-ego when in ‘Back to Reality’ when we met the amazing Dwaine Dibbly.  This character warmed our hearts and Danny John-Joules played him wonderfully.  We also saw him return briefly during an altercation with a GELF.

Late in seasons four and five, we learn that Cat has a VERY superior sense of smell.   He is usually able to smell trouble before the ships scanners can pick something up.  He is therefore usually found as a co-pilot in Starbug. His customary warning can be characterised like, “My nostril hairs are shimmying faster than a grass skirt on a fat Hawaiian Hoopla champion!”

Despite his special skills and hoopy dress sense, Cat never fails to amaze us with his outrageous stupidity. He is usually last to grasp the obvious and can always be head uttering, “What does that mean,” or “I was with you right up until you said {first word of explanation}“.

Nevertheless, he CAN sing.  The song Tongue Tied from Parallel Universe in Season 2, is a classic!

In season five, Cat had a terrible preoccupation with blasting his way out of trouble using laser cannons. It would normally fall to Kryten to explain,  “That is an excellent suggestion sir, except for two minor flaws. The first is that we don’t have laser cannons, and the second is that we don’t have laser cannons. I realise that this is the same reason, but I thought it important enough to mention twice!”

Cat can sing and dance too. In the episodes Parallel Universe and Cassandra, we see him singing (pretty well actually) and dancing his was through segments of the show.

Cat is an all-round red-bloodied Dwarfer and the series would not be the same without him. He is usually the favourite character of all Red Dwarf SadGeezers.

I would sincerely like to put up information about Danny John-Jules, but I’m afraid I don’t have any!

UPDATE:

Matt Cranwell tells us that, “Danny used to be one of the backing dancers for Wham” and “Remember the film ‘The Labyrinth’ with David Bowie. Danny was one of the musical talents behind the red devil scene and played one of the voices for them. He was also an unaccredited extra in the film ‘Scum’ which was all about Borstal life. ”

The lovely Anna D. Kaminska sent me this…
“I just thought I’d mention that… Danny John-Jules started his career as one of the Rockies on “Starlight Express” (the first one, ages ago). I guess that explains dancing and singing. He is listed on the cast on the tape I have. I know it’s not much (hard to get any info on him here in Poland)….”

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This Character review is © 1999 – 2019 Tony Fawl.
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