Tripping the Rift: People: Klak Klownman

Klak Klownman is the corrupt president of the planet Floridian 7. He’s a terrible gangster and proxy of the Dark Clown Empire who worked so hard to put him into power on the border planet. If you were to see Klownman in a bar, he’d be in the backroom making deals and taking bribes. In between visitors he’d enjoy an extra dry Manhattan.

Of course if you were to see him in the backroom, you would’ve seen too much. The next things you’d be seeing is the bottom of a river. The Dark Clowns worked for years to put Klownman in a position of power on Floridian 7. He worked, conned, bribed, blackmailed, and muscled his way up through the planet’s political machine until he made it onto the presidential ticket.

His chief opponent was George Goodfellow who was a slithery yet charismatic conservative career politician. Goodfellow appealed to the planets less urban populace who believed in good clean family values. Whereas Klownman reached out to the spring break crowd, and the tourist and vice industries.  It was a close race, so Klownman hired (read: blackmailed) Chode and his crew to find some dirt on his opponent. Besides taking lots of photos of Goodman with Six, T’Nuk uncovered that Goodman locked up his family and replaced them with cheap robots for the election. Goodman took the election in 21 mil  to 6 mil, but when he was arrested for his criminal activities, Klownman was made president instead.

Klownman reached out his hands in support to Goodfellow’s supporters, so that they could all unite and work together. Or in Klownman’s case, take their bribes. You would think that with his newfound power and wealth he would have paid Chode for his efforts, but he didn’t. Unless you count the three photon torpedoes he launched at the Jupiter 42 as payment. Chode still intends to get his money from Klownman, even if its the last thing his crew does!

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Tripping the Rift reviews are © 2005 Ryan Bechtel.
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