Tripping the Rift: S02E04: Ghost Ship

This one starts off with the crew watching a boxing match on the big screen. The match is on pay per view, but Chode decided to let Bobo pay for it, again, and is stealing the signal from his ship. But just as its starts to get interesting the cable goes out, as well as most of the power on the ship. Oddly enough though, the gravity kept working.

Chode didn’t fill up the ship with gas, because he thought he could squeeze a few more light years of it before he really had to pay exurbanite prices for gas.

So now the ship is running on fumes, and they are quickly running out of options. The closest gas station is hours away, but there is a very nearby station, they just have to cut through the Bermuda Quadrant to get there.

The Bermuda Quadrant is much like the Bermuda Triangle, a gravesite for spaceships. (Whenever Bermuda Quadrant is uttered in his presence, Gus is programmed to speak a certain sound effect. Click the links to hear it (coming soon)) Despite the fears of his crew, he orders that they pass through the cursed area of space to get refuelled as quickly as possible.

It’s treacherous flying, but they eventually make it out of a comic storm to relative safety. But they’ve burned all their fuel in navigating through the storm. What’s worse is that they are still in the Bermuda Quadrant so nobody will happen by accidentally. He can’t even call AAA for help because Chode forgot to pay his membership fees despite a stern reminder from Six.

But as luck would have it, another ship passes by. They try to hail the ship but its no use. The whole of the crew is dead and its declared a ghost ship. Or as Chode would call it, free gas and booty! They haphazardly dock with the USS El Dorado. T’Nuk, Gus, Whip and Chode enter the ship to find it completely devoid of life, but full of the requisite spooky spider webs. Six remained on the ship to act as their guide and support in finding the gas.

The four antiheros are searching the ship, and serendipitously find the treasure room. Chode goes crazy with all the gold that he perceives to now be his! The rest of the crew though are more calm, probably because of all the signs saying not to touch the gold under penalty of death. As soon has Chode really starts celebrating his gain, the hatch for the El Dorado closes and locks and he loses radio contact with Six.

Six is pretty concerned about the lost signal and the possibility that the crew might be injured. Bob however is not phased by the problem. He takes this time to hit on Six and tries vainly to get her to give him some pity sex. Apparently his attraction to her has grown greatly since they had “sex” last week in Honey I Shrunk the Crew. Six demands that he start focusing on the problem at hand, and orders that he bring up any information on the USS El Dorado. Bob complies.

Six sits back in the captains chair, a bit too comfortably and naturally, to watch the video file on the ship. The movie is narrated by Leonard Nimoy and he explains that the ship was rumoured to be carrying a great deal of gold when it was lost in the Bermuda Quadrant.

Furthermore the crew went insane with their worst fears realized and started killing each other until the ship was finally lost. How he or anybody else learned of lost ship with no survivors of physical evidence I will never know. Upon hearing this, Six takes matters into her hands. She suits up and enters the El Dorado through a service hatch.

With radio contact out, Chode orders the crew to split up to find another way off the ship. This plan always results in massive death in horror movies, but Chode feels safe since this is “reality”.

Whip finds a room with some clothes, and my first thought is a play on “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe”, but its not. The heavy clothes give his shadow a Alfred Hitchcock look. Appropriate because Whip is soon chased by some large flies intent on killing him. They even chase him into a phone booth, how contrived.

T’Nuk finds herself in a new room with lots of good meat products, and some bad ones. Namely her body parts. A butcher reveals himself behind the counter and starts chasing her through the ship.

Gus encounters a giant pussy and runs away like… a giant pussy.

Chode however must not fear anything, because he takes whatever the ship throws at him. He walks over an infinitely high ledge without any concern. out of curiousity he tosses a coin down into the void to listen for the clang at the bottom, it takes a while before it does. Does anyone else find it out of character for Chode to tooss away money? Next he plays with some of the snakes in a snake pit until they disappear. When he encounters his childhood school teacher who threatens to hit him with a ruler, he willingly bends over andlaments how he really gets off on it. He normally has to pay hookers for it!

Chode fears nothing!

Even Six has to face her worst fear; she enters a room of mirrors and sees her reflection as a withered old hag. But Chode walks in soon after to remind her that she’s a cyborg an that she’ll always be a hot piece of ass. Upon that revelation, all the mirrors break and the mental torture is over for her. Six surmises that confronting their fears is the only way off the ship.

They find Gus running from the giant snatch in the hallway. Chode tells him to be nice to it, and it will be nice to him. Gus reluctantly reaches out to play and caress the oversized pussy. once it does, the aberration disappears.

Next up is Whip, who is running from the giant flies. Chode reminds him that as a lizard, he should enjoy eating large insects. Whip sticks out his tongue and enjoys a fat morsel of fly goodness. The rest disappear soon after.

The four liberated crew members see a butcher chasing after T’Nuk. None volunteer to save her though. Eventually the butcher needs to stop to rest. He takes of his shirt revealing a 12 pack that would make T.O. jealous. T’Nuk forget about his intentions to cook her, and walks over to start hitting on him. He too disappears, which makes me think if rejection is her worst fear?

Chode loads up on the gold and tries to take it off the ship. But the hatch is still locked. They realize that he hasn’t faced his fears yet. I though he did?! They figure that his fear is not getting the gold and force him to lose it all. After reluctantly doing so, and even giving up a few coins he hid in his body, the door opens and the crew passes through sans Chode. With the door open Chode tries to take the gold with him now, but it locks shut again. Chode can’t take the gold with him, so he gives it up again.

Back aboard the Jupiter, Six has to suck the Ghost ship gas through a big tube to prime it to be transferred to the Jupiter. Chode gives her all sorts of encouragement to suck harder! When that’s done the ship takes off for the nearest gas station, and their next adventure.

And that concludes Ghost Ship. It was a decent episode. It was better than average for the series, but nothing too memorable in this one besides a few good one liners. And Six’s ultra sexy space suit!

I’d rate this episode an fear quelling 37,158 out of 10.

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Tripping the Rift reviews are © 2005 Ryan Bechtel.
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