Babylon 5: The Great 2004 Season 4 Crazy Captions Competition

1

“Actually, Londo, yes. Those trousers do make your bum look bigger.” Dr When

“Should I tell him his trousers are ripped ?” Ron78244

“Come on Baby, I didn’t mean to say those things. Cartagia still loves ya, Baby. ” Patrick A Jennings

Cartagia: “I’m sorry Londo, but even with the spinnaker, the royal yacht just isn’t going fast enough. Would you mind standing on the prow again?” Nursewhen

“errmm Londo….is that toilet paper hanging out of the back of your trousers???” ” Snooklepie

Vir’s striptease did not go down well at the royal court. Lastbesthope

Yeah, that’s right faked it, and when I said voluptuous what I meant was pig, arsed, bitch . . . . . Skip

“Londo, smile, as you say, it’s not that bad, eh? Jackass!!”   Blair Mealing

2

Garibaldi was never invited to any more wife swapping parties Dr When

“You can’t have her, she’s mine!” Ron78244

Girl: “Save me Superman!”
Baldi: “I told you, only call me superman in the bedroom..” Patrick A Jennings

“I told you, we don’t want Double Glazing!” Bambooshoot

Garibaldi: “OK Byron, put your clothes back on and move away from the blancmange.” Nursewhen

“Damn those paparazzi..” Snooklepie

Garibaldi : “Put the pizza down, pick up the tip and slowly back away!” Lastbesthope

Vir Cotto’s wacky “Changing Rooms” idea didn’t go down as well as he’d hoped. Skip

“Okay Londo, that’s far enough. Put those things away, if she didn’t want to see them, I sure as hell don’t. Anatomicly correct or not!”   Blair Mealing

3

In their spare time, Security put together a Synchronised Plasma Display Team. Here they dance the Nutcracker from Swan Lake. Dr When

“We’ve got them covered Wyatt!” Ron78244

It’s Garibaldi and the Boys from Brown Sector Dance Troupe! Bambooshoot

Garibaldi: “Hang on, no sorry guys, my bad..that’s just how they have sex.” Skip

Garibaldi: “Guys, guys… believe me…. those stories about what happens after I take one slug of whisky just aren’t true!” Nursewhen

“Ok kids-first to hit the coconut gets the teddy bear…” Snooklepie

Garibaldi : “Uh… Zack, guys, the bad guy is on the ceiling! See where I’m aiming?” Lastbesthope

4

G’Kar’s new lingerie caused some interesting reactions in the Zocalo. Dr When

“Oh! That’s not natural! ” Ron78244

“I can’t believe it’s not butter.” Bambooshoot

Ivanova: “Oh my God! Sadgeezer’s site’s down again.”
Marcus: “Bloody servers!” Nursewhen

Commander Ivanova and Ranger Cole arrive to greet the ambassador of the Scrote-Headian Empire. Skip

Marcus: “So I thought we’d grab a pizza, go for a few beers..”
Susan: “Oh no!! I forgot to put the cat out!!!” Snooklepie

Sheridan (Off Screen) And Marcus wins the Ivanova look alike competition. Lastbesthope

“THE FUTURE IS NOW”
Susan: “Really, I would have guessed it’s the present.”
Marcus: “That makes two of us.”  Blair Mealing

5

Even with the loud music and low lighting in the disco, it was getting harder to ignore her stalker. Dr When

“He’s smiling. OH NO!! He passed gas AGAIN!” Ron78244

“I don’t believe it! First he drinks alll my coffee and now he’s nicked my merkin!” Nursewhen

Things were a bit awkward between Commander Ivanova and Lorien the day after the end of year break up party. Skip

“Alright, Lorien- you can quit with those smug looks. I’m fed up with hearing “I told you there was a speed trap behind that asteroid…” Snooklepie

Ivanova : “Hey there old guy! Not even Marcus gets to pinch my ass!” Lastbesthope

“See it’s a small universe after all!”   Blair Mealing

6

Delenn & Lennier had never heard of a “Regurgitator” before, but they were about to find out the hard way what the Worker Caste do for entertainment. Dr When

Delenn: “You have a huge bit of spinach in your teeth.”
Mimbari #1: “Sorry, I had a Calzone for lunch.”
Lennier: “I’m going to take a vow of silence concerning this entire conversation. Good day.” Patrick A Jennings

“We have decided on a course of action which is fair to everyone. The next leader will be chosen according to the shininess of his or her head.” Nursewhen

Lennier: “Did I say threesome? I meant three. . . . .chums.” Skip

“Look, Delenn- I didn’t say that I didn’t like your plan- I just think having a ‘Vicars And Tarts’ theme for the annual Grey Council party wouldn’t be such a good idea….” Snooklepie

Delenn suddenly realises that she REALLY doesn’t like bald people. Lastbesthope

“Okay guys on three, paper, scissors, rock!”   Blair Mealing

7

The Emperor tests his new incontinence pants. So far, so good… Dr When

“Hmm, Narn under glass, roast Narn. Ever since I got “The Joy of Cooking Narn” it’s been harder to decide on an entree. ” Patrick A Jennings

“G’Kar? Oh….well tell him to keep an eye out for me.” Nursewhen

“A whoopee cushion. . . .how hillarious.” Skip

“Gawd, that chicken vindaloo I had last night isn’t sitting too well….” Snooklepie

“I poop too much, then I get tired!” Lastbesthope

“What the **** is that?”   Blair Mealing

8

“Delenn… I don’t think Oil of Olay is suitable for Minbari. Perhaps you ought to change brand?” Dr When

“Excuse me, but, you have an eye booger!” Ron78244

Sheridan: “I’m sorry, but I’m not a xenosexual.”
Alien ho: “What about your wife?”
Sheridan: “Well, everyone’s allowed to experiment once. And believe me, that’s all she’s put out.” Patrick A Jennings

Babylon 5: Wicked Witch of the West Special – “I melted your face but you melted my heart.” Bambooshoot

Alien: “You’re not pretty, but you’re my kind of not pretty” Nursewhen

Sheridan: “Yes, but I exfoliate with a proper scrub wash, not a steel wool pad…” Snooklepie

Alien : “What’s a nice boy like you doing in a place like this?” Lastbesthope

“Ah…if only you were horribly scarred.” Skip

“Back off there sister, I said fries and a coke, not wrinkly eyes and a smoke!”   Blair Mealing

9

“I don’t think it’s supposed to do toast. Perhaps we can use a fork or something to get it out…?” Dr When

…then if you put that arm lookin thing in juuuust the right position… Ron78244

Sheridan: “Do you like my nails? I got a manicure before we left the station. No captain should lead soldiers into battle with dirty nails.” Patrick A Jennings

Marcus was fed up playing see-saw. Bambooshoot

Sheridan: “Look, this is only going to work if you start pulling your weight around from here! From now on, I do the ironing and you do the washing up!” Nursewhen

Sheridan: “I’ve had a bad day, I need a drink….”
Marcus: “But it’s your turn to drive!!!” Snooklepie

Marcus : “For the last time Captain, I WILL NOT pull your finger!” Lastbesthope

“Look Marcus I’m serious. . . . .its the beard or me.” Skip

“Marcus, I’ve always respected you, but now I have to say this — what’s up with that annoying accent? Is it a chick thing or what?”   Blair Mealing

10

“I do.” Dr When

Delenn: “Come on Lyta. take deep breaths, that’s it. Now push! Push!” Patrick A Jennings

“It’s all fun and games till somebody loses an eye…or two. ” Bambooshoot

Delenn: “Since I’m holding both your hands and you’re holding both of mine, who keeps goosing me?” Nursewhen

“You can do it, Lyta- Beagle 2 is on Mars somewhere…” Snooklepie

Delenn and Lyta (together): “1, 2, 3, 4 . . . I declare a thumb war!” Lastbesthope

Delenn: “This is NOT the place to drop acid.” Skip