Tripping the Rift: People: Chode

Wadda dude! Short, three eyes, fat purple and he can STILL pull/blackmail/coerce/cajole/cuddle the girls. Someone for us geezers to aspire to? Possibly not – he’s also a bit of a misogynistic moron.

If you were to meet him in the pub, he’d be drinking….. a lot! In between downing large numbers of Michelob, he’d be chatting up the barmaid and desperately trying to get himself a hand job. He’d get one too! In fact he’d probably get lots! Admit it girls, you’d be fascinated by those phallic purple head-shaped protuberances… all floppy and smooth and ….. wobbly. You wouldn’t be able to resist a little stroke…. and we all know what stroking a bloke’s protuberance can lead to now, don’t we?

Chode is all man, but he used to be a bitch. In fact he was a bitch to his arch-enemy, Darph Bobo the Dark Clown. He and Darph shared a cell (and clearly lots of other stuff) together in prison and must have had a lovers tiff to end up fighting each other in the pilot episode. Chode was the eventual winner of the fight, but as we see in the second episode teaser, Darph returns AND Chode misses him.

Chode also has a warm relationship with the Science Officer, Six of one. She positively dotes over the purple dude and leave most warm-blooded males wondering what he’s got that we haven’t. And yet, if you think about it not too carefully,the answer positively smacks you across the face. Chode has four very large willies glues to his skull and whereas it may not look particularly attractive to the average girl, it certainly creates a certain intrigue.

Six’s obvious fixation with the head willies is seen in the pilot episode when, during the fight with Gus, she doesn’t attempt to batter the circuits out of the insolent robot, instead she offers to give Chode a hand job! I have to say that my wife has never offered to give me a hand-job in similar circumstances.

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